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Author: Subject: Dumb-Shit Products

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
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  posted on 28/5/2004 at 05:00 PM
Alright, yoo know what? I am seriously amazed at the amount of products out there that are completely absurd. America certainly has it the worst as infomericals verify. And I'm not just talking about crap like penut butter and jelly in one jar, I mean the REALLY stupid completely useless stuff.

For example I was at the grocery store looking for soy milk. My favorite soymilk is vanilla 8th Continent (mmm...) and I grabbed a couple of bottles and began to make my way to the checkout when I discovered I had not grabbed vanilla 8th Continent, I had grabbed vanilla 8th continent LIGHT! Yes, LIGHT soymilk!

Now just how many lactose-intolerant diabetics and vegans on the Atkins diet could there possibly be? Come the hell on, it's not a malt it's fucking SOYMILK! It is not the existance of the product itself that is retarded as much as the fact that there were three rows of vanilla light and only one row of the regular vanilla (which is almost alwyas sold out in the gallon size container).

Now this is not by any means as stupid as consumerism gets, I have created this forum so people could rant about other rubbish that people actually pay for.

 

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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/5/2004 at 05:44 AM
I like some of the low-carb products out there mainly for most of them are low in calories (I watch my calories) and high in fiber. However, I will say this: as I was pointing out to bettie in a note, some of this "Atkin friendly" stuff out there, in markets and resturants alike, are healthier than your normal food...BUT, big BUT......what really makes me scratch my forhead, though, is that if they are all so concerned with our health, why the Hells didn't they make similar products a long time ago?

Diabetes isn't THAT new; those sugar free products should have been made YEARS ago.

High-fiber and whole wheat tortillas should have been in the market YEARS ago, not when the Atkin's revolution starts. Granted, I love these tortillas, but they should have been made ages ago.

My theory on the market is that they only start making these things on a whim, which I guess is half-way understandable in a free market where they want to keep the money rolling in...I just am a bit amused yet irritated that they didn't make such products when the first obese person was spotted in the twentieth century.

Of course, their response would have been, "well no one would have bought the products!" Half true, but at the same time, how would they have known if they didn't try? Oh, I guess they need people going on some radical diet (whether Atkin's or vegetarian, goes either way) before they wake up on the health products.


A bit off topic, but it's a theory I came up with. Isn't it possible that the "health programs/exercise programs" and junk-food producers work together? Seriously...the health/exercise programs, deep inside, WANT people to eat unhealthy foods. After all, if people ate healthy foods before, there would be no customers for the YMCA or 24 Hour Fitness Center. Just me kind of delving into a more LaVeyen perspective...if that makes any sense.




[Edited on 5/29/2004 by Anya]

 

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Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
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  posted on 29/5/2004 at 05:52 AM
I give credit to Rogue for provoking the main point of my post.

As far as the Atkin friendly soy milk, I really do not think that's necessary. Even if the person was lactose intolerant and on the diet, regular soy milk has less sugar than regular milk...one reason why I like it. I'm not on the diet, do not get me wrong, but I love soy milk because it has all those good fats while having less useless sugar in it.


[Edited on 5/29/2004 by Anya]

 

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Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
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  posted on 31/5/2004 at 12:26 AM
Dumb shit products:

Grilled cheese sandwich maker
Fried egg mold
pancake maker

I"m sorry, but what is this american obsession with SYMMETRICAL FOOD?!
PERFECTLY round pancakes
PERFECTLY EVEN ROUND FRIED EGGS
PERFECTLY FOLDED GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES

What really bothers me is those dumbfucks who are demo-ing the "old ways" of flipping eggs, pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches. OOOO ALL THE FAT YOU COOK IT IN. Who in their right mind puts FAT in a skillet to make pancakes? I've NEVER seen that. And they're all slaving away with fucked up pans and mashing the shit out of it like "looookit it's so haaard" And what kid cares if their pancakes are round, or their eggs, or their goddamned sandwiches? I'd mass all my food to hell anyway. Or my favorite they try to make them so versatile, like you can only make chocolate chip pancakes with a double sided special non stick 50 dollar pancake pan, and then show some idiot kid chowing down on a MOUNTAIN of chocolate pancakes with sugar and whipped cream and SHIT all over it for breakfast.

I HATE IT.

 

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Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
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  posted on 31/5/2004 at 09:19 AM
I totally understand what you are talking about Bettie. I have seen the perfect pancake maker and perfect poached egg maker and so on and so forth. Do people think symmetrical foods are better for them or quicker to make? Frankly I think symmetry takes more time than an abstract form pancake. Why not just buy a griddle that you place over the burners or plug in and make a bunch of pancakes that are not symmetrical all at once? GAH! Nutso people

I have seen the light soymilk, my mom accidentally bought it for me once. I just want my plain old Silk or 8th continent or whatever soymilk brand I am drinking that week. I don't drink the vanilla, I drink the original, but I can see the purpose of making vanilla. Some people don't like the flavor of original but can tolerate vanilla.

Goober Peanut Butter/Jelly has always fascinated me. Frankly I preferr my jelly cold and don't mind having two jars. What if you don't feel like having grape jelly that day, and you have seperate strawberry in the fridge, but the only peanut butter you have is mixed with the grape. What do you do? Spend an hour trying to seperate the peanut butter.

Oh silly silly world.

How about 3ft long tubes of gum balls? My mom had an empty one that I started collecting quarters in because when you fill it you have 140 dollars. But why do people need 3ft of gum balls.

Why are scissor packaged in hard plastic that you need scissors to open it with?
Why are people obsessed with sterility of their scissors or other such things?

Gebus Christ.

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

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Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 11:52 AM
The only "fad" type instrument I have in my kitchen is a george foreman grill, and that's because they DO work like they say, I don't have to dirty a pan, and even making those gardenburger herb chicken patties it drains any excess oil or fat out of it. Other than that my pancakes are fine lopsided, I don't eat eggs, and I can make vegan grilled cheese just fine on the stove.

Then there is the posta pot/strainer. I have mixed feelings on this item. I hate it because they make it look SO hard and SO dangerous to toss spaghetti into a strainer in the sink, ooo the burns the mess the mayhem OH GOD! But at the same time, it looks actually kinda handy.

Then there are the "fitness" machines. I hate these. There are a zillion different types of ab/glut machines. I saw the newest on that is like a rocking chair and you push up and roll back to give you the perfect butt. K, I can go buy one of those giant rubber balls at Toys r us for five bucks and do the same goddamned thing. And they make people think it's SO HARD to do some situps, and how unhealthy it is to do situps and push ups and ooo oit's so HARD! They show these people flopping and falling and flailing TRYING to do exercise, and then voila! They have their new 100 plastic machine to do it FOR them.

 

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Member




Posts: 149
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 01:18 PM
quote:
Who in their right mind puts FAT in a skillet to make pancakes?


You have obviously never eaten breakfast in the south! I was almost 19 before I realized that people actually made green beans without putting a ham hock in them.

Gross, yes. But sooooo delicious...

 

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Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 01:35 PM
Deep Fried Cheese Sticks; how the FDA missed these I don't know.

 

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co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 07:04 PM
No I remembered a friend's mother's southern upbringing and realised that some people actually use fat to make everything *lol* AND my grandma used to just leave the pan with the fat in it on the stove all day until dinner and I thought it was the grossest thing EVER *barf*
But it's STILL not that hard, I swear.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Member




Posts: 112
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 09:20 PM
You know how I feel about crustless bread . . .
(ooo, my first forum post)

 

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Member




Posts: 112
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  posted on 31/5/2004 at 09:36 PM
"I"m sorry, but what is this american obsession with SYMMETRICAL FOOD?"

It's McDonalds that bugs me. Square fish fillets? Last I checked fish weren't square. they were fish-shaped.

 

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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 09:43 PM
Bettie: I feel you on that one. It ain't that hard to do sit-ups. Hells, I do them on my bed at least twice (or more) a week. As for the walking machines, those are somewhat okay, but I personally do not like them for the environment around me ain't moving. Yep, I rather walk outside; if the sun is out, I'll just bring a damn umbrella.

Hmm. I wonder if I could make a fortune off making an exercising utensil with a fork. *snickers*

Andree: Crustless bread? What's so bad about the crust? Geez, people can just take it off their selves. No wonder there's an obesity problem (ones suffering this due to health problems excluded, don't sue me!) in America. We live in a society where people will freak out if someone makes their daughter walk to school (they better not ask my average walking times a day, they'll have a heart attack!). Kind of off topic, but related to the laziness of some people.




Anyway, some other ridiculous products, to me, are those kiddy thongs...as I would like to call them. I suppose they make money, but goddamn...we don't need to be making clothes like that for nine year olds. Maybe I am just too prude, but I really do not think that people should encourage their kids to wear sex-appeal clothes when they haven't even went through puberty yet. Each to their own, I guess.



 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 31/5/2004 at 10:45 PM
Yeah, I agree with you on the clothes thing Anya. They are making hoochie clothes for children. My cousin wears them. She also likes to wear women's high heeled shoes that are too big for her (though she does have large feet) because she feels older in them. More grown up. Yicky.

Oh, I know about the ham hock things in the collard greens. My dad does that. I have to pick out the pieces of meat that I get when I scoop some out. Yick. Don't like pork a lot.

[Edited on 6/1/2004 by MystryssRavynDarque]

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Fanatic




Posts: 233
Registered: 11/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/6/2004 at 10:51 PM
McDonalds, now there is something that really makes me wonder. it isnt even real food!!! my little brother is allergic to most dairy products but he can have McDonalds ice cream because it contains no dairy... its all chemical shit. my friend who works at McDonalds was just saying the other day how weird the lettuce is - its shredded up into little pieces whereas at a place like wendy's it is an actual leaf of lettuce that you get on your burger. as far as the square fish fillet's go... well it does prove the symmetrical food point, think of it this way first off ill bet you its not even real fish! and second, if the world did not have obssesions to advertise and hammer into consumer's brains then we might start to think or something and realize what is going on around us and we might try to do something about it... that would be baaaaaahhhd (allusion to the fact that we are sheep following each other around like mindless idiots)....

the ruthless

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/6/2004 at 06:50 AM
gothicmorman: It's been rumored (or even known) that McDonald's products are not real. One of the rumors is that McDonald's uses soy instead of real hamburger meat to make their hamburger patties. I known for months that their ice cream isn't real ice cream - it's just special chemicals and sugar. For the most part, though, I don't really go to McDonald's unless I do a SHITLOAD of exercise that day (walking for six hours, working hard all day, etc)...even then, Carl's Jr. beats any McDonald's and Burger King, but even then, I try to limit going to such high-caloried fast food places to once or even twice a week...on the days a lot of exercise has been done.

From a business aspect, I understand that there's a need for low-carb products due to the slight changes in demand, but there is a product that is very stupid: the "low-carb" ice cream (I sometimes sample alternate products for kicks and giggles). It isn't the fact that it's low-carb, it's the fact that it doesn't even taste like traditional ice cream. In traditional ice cream, the fat isn't discarded. The "low-carb ice cream" just happens to be equivalent to a low-fat, low-sugar shaved ice. Then again, maybe a company has made a different kind and I need to sample their's.

My favorite of dumb-shit products have to be those products that need to make a disclaimer for EVERY claim that's out there. Not much the products their selves, but the damn disclaimers. I was looking around at Ralph's a few days ago and found a tub of cream cheese that had a disclaimer on these lines: "There has been no studies showing that lactose causes cancer." In my head, I was thinking, "Oh brother, does everything cause cancer now or what? It's ridiculous if lawsuits are to the point where you need to make disclaimers and regulations to THAT extreme."

Heh, it's a bit amusing at the same time. In fact, a few days later, I compared prices of soy milk in California and Kansas with my mom and sad enough, soy products are cheaper in the "middle of nowhere" - someplace that doesn't even have a big enough vegetarian population to have these things in the market. I said to my stepdad in a joking manner, "I guess soy products cause cancer."


 

Extreme Fanatic




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Registered: 31/12/1969
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  posted on 2/6/2004 at 08:55 AM
That bites... I'd love to edge closer to being vegan by getting soymilk instead of dairy, but it costs twice as much. Plus I get regular milk for free (my grandpa buys it). So here I am, abusing cows because I'm po. (or just a stingy bastard)

A few things recently have managed to piss me off (pretty easy to do):
An electric dish scrubber that turns so you don't have to do anything. Right. We Americans are so damn lazy we can't even scrub pots any more. We have to have a little wand that spins around to do it for us.
Disposable toilet scrubbers. They seem to hang on the theory of evil nasty germs that will creep up on you in the night and steal your children unless you use a disposable (and sanitary!) toilet scrubber. Funny thing is, my family never had one, and we're still breathing (must be a coincidence).

Oops, got class right now. I'll resume my ranting later.

 

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  posted on 2/6/2004 at 11:10 AM
quote:
Heh, it's a bit amusing at the same time. In fact, a few days later, I compared prices of soy milk in California and Kansas with my mom and sad enough, soy products are cheaper in the "middle of nowhere" - someplace that doesn't even have a big enough vegetarian population to have these things in the market. I said to my stepdad in a joking manner, "I guess soy products cause cancer."



Ahem...there are lots of vegetarians and vegans in the "middle of nowhere." Probably not as many as in California, but then again there are less people in general. I get so tired of the stereotype that these kind of things don't exist in the Midwest. Even in the grocery stores in the sticks out here you can find soy milk. Lactose intolerant people need things like that too.

I don't find it surprising that soy milk would be cheaper in Kansas. I'm sure a lot of things are cheaper in Kansas. The cost of living in California can be very high in general, depending on where you are.

 

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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
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  posted on 2/6/2004 at 12:21 PM
Well I'd imagine it'd be cheaper there too because the midwest is where they grow all the soybeans, and where the manufacturing plants are, so there's less travel and retail markup. And as for California, I WAS ALL OVER goddamned anaheim and hollywood and couldnt' find a SINGLE GODDAMNED THING TO EAT all week! To HELL with california * >
Oh, no wait I got a TOFU DOG that I had to pay THREE DOLLARS FOR and wait FIFTEEN MINUTES for it to thaw.


ANYHOW....

Ironboots I'm sick to death of all this "STERILE STERILE STERILE OUR ENVIROMENT MUST BE STERILE OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDD" bs. I'm sorry, I keep my cruddy old fashioned toilet brush by my stupid cruddy toilet in my stupid cruddy UNCLEAN bathroom. I don't use disinfectant wipes on my countertops, I use soap and water if they're dirty. I don't bleach the fuck out of everything. What is going to happen with all this "clean freak" business, what with the antibacterial instant waterless handwash, the constant immediate enviroment sterilization, parents freaking ever time their kid gets a cold......K my immune system fucking rules. You know why? CUZ I LICK MY FINGERS AFTER HANDLING LOTS OF MONEY ALL DAY LONG. YES, yes I do. I lick my fingers CONSTANTLY, and sometimes they taste bad and THAT is when I wash them. I lick them to open plastic bats, to count out money, to get a pice of paper. I don't sterilize my home, I share my food and drinks, I sit next to sick people on benches. I observe the 7 second rule about dropping food on the ground, and if I drop something in the kitchen I wash it off and EAT IT. I get sick MAYBE really bad once a year. I get colds a couple times, but very infrequently and get over them quickly. Ever notice how all those worry warts with their antibacterial handwash in their bags are ALWAYS sick? How their KIDS are always sick? It's because they're starving their immune system. Mine sees an intruder and goes full on nuclear. That is why I get sick so hard and fast, but never even have even the FLU last more than two days. My immune system rules, and it's cuz I don't wash my hands and lick them all day long.

I'm disgusting, I know, but when everyone else dies of some cold virus 50 years from now I'll be the only person left and the planet will finally be MINE.

SOOOOO Ironboots, TO HELL with disposable toilet brushes. TO HELL with the insane paranoid neurotic variety of sanitising wipes, drops, sprays and waterless handwashes.

And speaking of lazy TO HELL with those automatic ab exercisers that DO IT FOR YOU by electrocution. HELLO LAZY ASSHOLE.

 

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Extreme Fanatic




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  posted on 2/6/2004 at 12:35 PM
OMG I so agree with you on the sterile children getting sick and us people who aren't freaks about it staying healthier. Interesting isn't it? I bite my nails, cuticles and that is full of germy germs. I follow the 5 second rule. I wont eat something that has fallen in a big pile of dirt, but I am not afraid of my floor so much. Sure I like to be clean and keep things clean, but I am not a fanatic. I don't get sick much. I have gotten sick more recently, and I am not sure why, but I have never had the flu and I have never been in the hospital. I am pretty damned healthy if I say so myself.

Oh and Ironboots, those power scrubber things are horrible. That is going to get nasty looking if you scrub a pasta with red sauce pan without scrapping it out first. They must've given her a new one for every pot. Those things will hold germs. Funny that people will buy those because they are lazy, but need their sterility at the same time.

Hahaha!

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't />
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is
the

experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/6/2004 at 01:00 PM
Bettie: I was just gonna get to that when I had to go to class. Thanks for takin' care of it for me...

But yeah, hell yeah. I say that kids should get a spoonful of dirt every night at dinner. And if they want to eat a bug, let them, so long as they don't make a habit of it and overhunt the bug population. Its good for them!

(I had a big long tirade about eating off of dirty dishes and drinking out of the carton, but I lost it when I had to log back in again, so just use your imagination)

Another thing: Gas guzzling status-symbols. This has been beaten to death already, so I'll just mention it and move on.

This next one may piss some people off (technophiles), but some may like it (1337-technophiles)
I hate the way that they are selling powerful computers, wireless networking, and fancy digital cameras to ordinary people. I understand that some people have a genuine need, such as photographers, gamers, and business folk. But does the middle-class suburban yuppie really need a flat-screen monitor and ultra-speedy computer tied into wireless network that works throughout the house? Its just the latest in keeping up with the Jones'. And Dell and Company are far too happy to oblige in creating this fictitious 'need' for the latest technology.
Bah humbug!

More later, once I think of it...

MRD: I think the scrubber pads are disposable, too. Next thing you know, we'll have disposable houses with disposable kids and a disposable dog.

 

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