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darkrose
Occasional Poster   Posts: 11 Registered: 5/5/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 7/6/2004 at 04:37 AM |
nice how you'll not praise me to my face isn't it mommy dearest!!
offer's still open if you want it anon  ____________________
when we look into the mirror,weonly see what we hate most about
ourselves,
never whet others love about us
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ladylilith
Occasional Poster  Posts: 19 Registered: 2/5/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/6/2004 at 11:29 AM |
I would just like to confirm what darkrose said,she had quite a bad time of
it with depression,she went through some very dark times,but she DID come
through them and lived to tell the tale.I think that in some ways it made
her a stronger person,not neccessarily nicer to live with,but maybe a bit
more understanding of other people's problems,and a bit more mature.She
does actually have quite a wise head on her shoulders,it might help you or
your friend to talk to her,and it couldn't hurt!
(Of course,that's just my opinion,you're free to ignore me completely if
that's what you feel like doing!) ____________________
Between the intent and the act falls the shadow.
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Chocholoza
Coward   Posts: 3 Registered: 24/3/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/6/2004 at 06:35 AM |
| Alugarde - Holler at me. I have a book for you. It's about how to control
your brain at will. I think you're interested. ____________________
Shosholoza
Work, work, working in the sun
We will work as one
Shosholoza
Work, work, working in the rain
\\\'Til there\\\'s sun again
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darkrose
Occasional Poster Posts: 11 Registered: 5/5/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/6/2004 at 04:37 AM |
she might be suffering from depression...i went through the same sorta
thing when i was depressed.it's hard,and it may not seem like it at the
time, but things will get better.
point out everything thats going right in her life and all the things she's
good at, and eventually her 'good side' will stick around, cause it sounds
to me like thats the strongest part of her.
if you or her ever want anyone to talk to,about anything,not just this, PM
me and i'll give you my email address. ____________________
when we look into the mirror,weonly see what we hate most about
ourselves,
never whet others love about us
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Alugarde
Member   Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/6/2004 at 12:43 AM |
Ella, this is just a guess, but your friend's problem sounds like one I
have, and I've recently become more and more aware of how disturibingly
common this problem is.
If this is what I think it is, your friend isn't really hearing voices per
se, that's just a convenient way of putting it into words. It's more like
she has two seperate personalities, one that embodies her good side, one
that embodies her dark side. Unlike multiple personality disorder, though,
no side is ever really, completely dominant. There isn't a line between one
side and the other. Rather, the two constantly fight each other back and
forth, with one side usually shoved into a corner of the mind somewhere,
yelling out at the other side whenever it has something to yell about, and
sometimes when it doesn't.
If this is what I think it is, that fighting is what your friend is
hearing. Her good side is mostly dominant, but she hears the things her
dark side has to say. They're very ugly things, I'm sure. No doubt she's
been made more beautiful for it.
It's a blessing and a curse, really. I think if I didn't have this problem
I wouldn't have nearly the backbone, willpower, or sense of morals that I
do today. I responsded to my own voices by rejecting them, and striving to
keep them in their place at all times. It's been a constant stuggle, but
I've grown quite a number of times because of that struggle.
My suggestion would be to tell your friend what I've said here, see if she
thinks I'm right. If I am right, then help her with her struggle. Try to
get her to tell you when the voices are particularly strong, and what they
talk about when they are strong. Then, help her to be strong back. Help her
keep them quiet.
Also, if this is what I think it is, there will be times when she falls.
There will be times when her good side takes it's turn in the corner,
pleading with her dark side to not do the things it's doing. Usually it's
very brief, lasting no more than a day. But a more long term shift is
possible. I've only had a long term shift once, but it was long because it
happend so slowly I didn't notice it happening. When I finally got snapped
out of it, I had ruined so much. Try to watch for that, in case it ever
happens. Don't let her do that to herself.
Take all this with a grain of salt, though. It's entirely self-diagnosed,
but I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about it. No matter what
happens, though, no matter what she thinks, support her, and be there for
her.
Hopefully this has helped.
[Edited on 6/6/2004 by Alugarde]
[Edited on 6/6/2004 by Alugarde] ____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 10:35 PM |
Everyone does that sort of thing in highschool. Why it is so shitty is
because it's not just book education, it's social education, finding out
who you are and what you are. It's common for people with different
friends to ACT differently around them, because it's ALL an act in
gradeschool. It's hard to understand when you're in the middle of it.
You also have to understand your own biases, thinking she was a "dolt" like
the rest of her "cheerleaders" before you really knew her, just because she
is "popular". It's the same concept when "cheerleaders" think the wierd
kids in school are "spazes" for acting how THEY do. YOU may act
differently around your friends just as she does with hers, and not even
realise it. I"m not picking, but I'm the devil's advocate, something
everyone needs.
Now about her "voices". Actual true blue full blown schitzopherenia is
rare. Not rare like it never happens, but most people who tell people they
"hear voices" aren't schitzopherenic. Few schitzopherenic people KNOW or
BELIEVE they're schitzopherenic, and have other disorders that go with it
outside of voices.
It IS common for kids your age hitting hormone-ville and dealing with new
stresses and anxieties to start hearing/seeing things or having anxiety
problems, depression, paranoia, fear, mood swings etc. Things eventually
mellow out. Sometimes they don't.
If your friend is coming to you with a problem, you should tell her to seek
help. It sounds like either hormones or attention wanting to me, but
telling her to talk to someone who knows what he or she is doing never
hurts. If she says she doesn't need help, then tell her to stop talking
about it because if it's not enough to get REAL help then it's not a
problem.
ANd DO play up her good qualities, and ignore the attention angst whoring.
That usually works, good call.
____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
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Anonymous
 Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 05:26 PM |
i thought for a while that she might just be doing it for
attention....but...well...i dont know why, but i believe her.
she told me that the voices sound like her own in her head, but she has no
control over what they say, she said at one point it sounded like there
were 50 people in her head some of them telling her to kill herself and
take the easy way out "c'mon lucy, youve been doing things the hard way all
your life, it only fair that you should take it easy, do it you know you
want to" (or something to that affect) and the rest of them telling her to
keep goin, things can only get better...i had no idea what to say to her,
except that she cant kill herself, ive never heard voices or anything, but
i tried to kill myself a few months ago (yeh, it didnt work) so i thought
maybe i could help her with that....
the thing about lucy is, at my school shes always been one of the 'popular'
chicks, so ive always assumed she was a dolt like the rest of them and not
bothered with more then polite conversation with her. i still had that
assumtion until about 14 hours ago.
she said there are so few people in her life that she gives a damn what
they think, but she still acts like a dickhead around all her other
'popular' friend, i dont think she understands that if all the 'popular'
people dont like her, its not the end of the world. i dont blame her for
it, i went through the same thing a few years back, but it annoys me how
she'll pour her heart out to me, and then go back to being an annoying
freakin cheerleader when her 'friends' are around....
...yeh...
-ella
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Abbadon
Fanatic   Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 01:33 PM |
You really should find out what the voices say. Sometimes its important to
follow what they say, and sometimes its defintely not.
BB.
Abbadon ____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
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Squire-of-Gothos
Fanatic  Posts: 206 Registered: 1/1/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 01:10 PM |
| That about sums it up.....Ella, I just wanted to let you know that a 13
year old can easily be taken seriously here. Trust me, it's about who you
are not how old you are. We've dealt with people twice your age, but since
they acted like they were about 5, we preffered to just ignore them, since
they were being trolls. You obviously give a shit about things, enough to
go somehwere for help, and you asked the right questions. This is a
wonderful place to learn, and grow, and have a hell of a lot of fun. It's
quite badass here, and for all intensive purposes, I think it would be cool
to have you register yourself here. Trust me, few people take the time to
actually sit down, think about soemthing, and put it down on the pc,
instead of jumping in, signing up here, and going retarded in all the forum
rooms on day 1. Either way, I hope you can work things out with your
friend. ____________________
“The only thing that can alter the good writer is death.”
“You know that if I were reincarnated, I’d want to come back a buzzard.
Nothing hates him. He is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat
anything.”
Faulkner
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Psychopixi
Fanatic  Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 08:07 AM |
And now for the cynical reply, the flip side of the coin:
How do you know she does actually hear voices?
I'm sorry if it seems a little cold, but I've had first hand experience
with people who've said they had voices in their head. I actually dated the
person, and he claimed his voice was a demon that was possessing him.
I'm inclined to take it all with a pinch of salt and say it's for
attention. Don't play up to her voices. If she's fun, and interesting and
great to be around then play up to those things - the things which are
actually there and grounded in reality. Give her attention for the positive
aspects of her personality which you know are true, and not just put on for
show.
If she can see that people genuinely like her for the person she is, then
maybe you'll find that she has no need to hear the voices any more. ____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
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Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/6/2004 at 07:09 AM |
Ella.. I'll stay anonymous too,since I don't have a username.
You should know that 99% of all "helping" is bogus.
How did you find out she hears voices? Did she tell you so? Or did you see
her shaking and crying?
Also, how often does she hear these voices?
Might sound like a stupid question.. But does she hear them when she's
hungry?
Im sure, if nothing else, medication will help her. If she gets help, be
patient with her.
What do these voices say to her?
Meanwhile, lend her your cd player or walkman. Perhaps music can offer her
some distraction.
But no death metal!!
And nothing that gets her low and depressed.. No curt cobain etc..
How about outcasts new record. ? You know the band with the song "Hey ya!"
.
I had that record, and I gave it to a friend who says he saw figures in the
sky :-D .. hahaha.. .........
Tell her to be brave.. And tell her she can take complete control of the
voices if she just believes and she wants to. With time,practising taking
control of them might even stop the voices.
Tell her that all people are unique. And that she hears voices doesnt
necessarily mean that she is mentally ill and will be put in an
institution.
Is she paranoid? If she is, then maybe she should tell her parents.
What you can do is encourage her to eat well - so that she'll keep her
bloodsugar up. And to sleep well. You could go running with her a few
hours before bedtime, to make her tired.
My intuition says.. That puberty is hitting her head. Do you understand?
Maybe she has things happening at home.. or something that makes her feel
uncomfortable. And puberty and things have gotten her all delerious.
Lend her a pillow. .. a real soft one.
And if she doesnt want to be alone.. Maybe you can have sleepovers.. and
stay up and eat sweets AFTER YOU HAVE BRUSHED YOUR TEETH! HAHA! - it
won't kill you.
And rent comedies.. Like big mommas house..or whateva.. ..
Fingerpaint.. :-)
Just get her going with fun stuff.. So she can forget about the voices.
My guess is that it will pass.
Best wishes.
Jameel.
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