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Author: Subject: Squid Roast

Administrator





Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 02:38 PM
IamSquid wrote on Aug 26, 2003 - 05:03 PM:
Is it possible to do Shmeng Roasts? yoo know like the Firar's Club and Dean Martin. Each month, a different Shmengling is selected and people get to poke fun at them (all in good humor of course). Good idea? Bad idea?

So since Squiddo suggested it, Squiddo is first. Welcome to the first anual Shmeng Squid Roast. Be careful what you say though, The roastingest roaster is next.

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 
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Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 04:25 PM
Those tentacles wont hurt me, will they?
 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 06:11 PM
Anya, is that the best yoo can doo? This guy is a major tentacled freak. Fuckin' hippie. Hee can't even spell. He has a vowel stutter. *grin* We love yoo, Squid.

 

____________________

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 09:55 PM
Yeah, I know why he shoots that black ink all over the place whenever he meets a girl, and it's not because he's afriad....

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

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Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 11:16 PM
Besides, he's (in his own words)
egotistical
narcisistic
pretentious
elitist
pompous
a drama-queen
starving for attention
not to mention piss-poor at spelling

Getting enough attention yet, squiddy? In spite of all of that, he's still our favorite sea monster....

 

____________________

 

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Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 19/11/2003 at 11:55 PM
Why not; I'm in the mood for calamari.

IamSquid is not the hideous monstrosity we've all come to know and love. Instead he is the alter ego of that egotistical, narcissistic, pretentious, elitist, pompous (thanks goes to M_J), goldie-locked boy known as Richey Rich. Richey A.K.A. "Squid" was lured into the Lovecraftian horrors by an eccentric drifter he happened to pick up on the side of the road for a good "romp." A choke hold, and a drive to the marina "Squid" awoke on a fishing boat, nude, smiley faces carved into the underside of his arms, and one cephalopod crammed in to his nether region....Needless to say a disheveled Richey fell into a psycho-pathological episode which resulted in the Squid we now roast today.

further more,
mmmmm..Squid's boobies....

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Fanatic




Posts: 287
Registered: 31/10/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 01:14 AM
I don't know you well, Squid (yet, but give me time), but I have a question for you:

If your...*ahem*...tentacles are so big, how come you haven't stung anyone yet? *evil grin*

no mercy, no shame, no panties... ^_~

[Edited on 20/11/2003 by LadyCygnet]

 

____________________
"To Live is to Annoy." -- Rev. Lambert Reilly, Archabbot, St. Meinrad Abbey

 

Member




Posts: 199
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 04:54 AM
Where to start?

He's from America's Dairyland, where they like to get people drunk and bugger them against their will...as evidenced by the Milwaukee BREWERS and Green Bay PACKERS.

When he gives you a reacharound, it reminds you of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea...the SNL version.

Q: How many Squids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The Squid is alone in the bottomless Abyss, where God and Nietzsche forget their names and Time itself fears to tread, immersed in morbid tranquility as if it were the graveyard of the universe, dreaming of himself and of Lord Cthulhu and of some sort of cheese with bits of fruit in it, his tentacles stretching across the Aeons to leave their dark shadow on all of history. Fuck lightbulbs.

(Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) Squids are fine creatures...for me to poop on!

With that beak, he's the only sex partner that can fellate you and circumsize you at the same time and have you still thank him afterward.

I kid. I kid because I love. Well, once I come up with the $1.95 I will.

Seriously though, if it weren't for Squid I would never have remembered what the priest did to me when I was six. ("Hey, that's not a communion wafer!")

Being a Squid though, if he ends up Lewinskying (or worse yet, Emeriling) on your best dress you can always just say an ink pen burst.

They call the ocean floor "Davey Jones' Locker" because Squid has the lead singer for The Monkees tied up in his closet. With a "have a nice day" ball gag and "Hello Kitty" electrified nipple clamps.

The "ocean bottom" is just a nickname for Squid. Think about it.

Deep in the ocean where he lives, it is so quiet...
(How quiet is it?)
It's so quiet, if you sit still you can hear the sailors fucking in submarines, including the Kursk.

He likes to wank off with all his tentacles while listening to abovementioned seamen semening.

Seriously though (touching redemption statement goes here with a jab at Brett Butler), let's give it up for Squid, God knows he could use a hand.

 

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Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
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  posted on 20/11/2003 at 11:33 AM
Are you ready, Shmenginites?
Aye, aye Captain.
I can’t hear you!
AYE, AYE CAPTAIN!!
OOOOOOOO....
Who lives in a pit at the bottom of the sea?
Iamsquid does!
Tentacled, philosophical, and perverted is he!
Iamsquid is!
A hang up with nuns getting into his pants!
Iamsquid has!
For fear of his life he never will dance!
Iamsquid won’t!
Iamsquid, Iamsquid, Iamsquid!

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 11:48 AM
Roasting him are we? Shouldn't we be refrigerating him, slicing him thinly, and rolling him up in seaweed with some rice?

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 12:25 PM
this squid would not be fit to fry. And I am, cajun, there is little that I will not eat.

We got squid a hooker for his birthday... she went in and came right back out. "what's the problem?" we asked. "I need hazard pay." Here we have a man that has to sneak up on his left hand and get his right hand drunk.

Seriously, when squid was growin up, we used to have to tie milkbones around his necl to get the dog to paly with him.

Squid once asked me "If you woke up with a condom hanging out of yor ass and grass stains on you knees, would you tell anyone?"
Of course I said "NO"
Then you know what that bastard said? "Wanna go campin?"

Soooo, I was butt fucking squid the other night... ohhhh not like that... in a manly way, LIKE VIKINGS... and the little bitch starts callin for his mom... of course I stop. I ask him what she's callin her for. He tells me "that's just how she used to do it!"

This is a man so ugly, that he got into a photo booth, and nothing happened. He gets out and it spit his money out with a note that said "you can't make me!"

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

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Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
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  posted on 20/11/2003 at 12:37 PM
A good start but what's holding yoo all back from getting nasty and personal? Yoo know I would! DO YOR WORST!

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 01:15 PM
squid... did you miss my post?

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

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Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 01:17 PM
Yes, Feral, more of that! And don't hold anything back!

 

____________________


i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.




-ickgirl

 

Administrator




Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 02:16 PM
I think they're scared they'll be next...

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 

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Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 20/11/2003 at 03:06 PM
the worst i can say about him is that he is almost as pompous as me. Almost.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

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Posts: 287
Registered: 31/10/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/11/2003 at 12:41 AM
quote:
A good start but what's holding yoo all back from getting nasty and personal? Yoo know I would! DO YOR WORST!


Aww. Squid...do we really need to talk about your used underwear collection?

 

____________________
"To Live is to Annoy." -- Rev. Lambert Reilly, Archabbot, St. Meinrad Abbey

 

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Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/11/2003 at 05:14 AM
Yeah, poor Squido, when he was born the Lord Cthulhu threw him back, and let me tell you he tossed Squid’s mother in right after the splash.

But you got to love Squid, you have to appreciate someone who can walk around with pompous airs when he can’t even walk.

Squid though, man, he’s a world travel, loves to go to Asian countries, eh does. Girls there are really fond of sucking on squid. The only problem is the only girls he can get a date with are usually pen and inked.

We were bobbing along chatting it up one time, and the Beakster starts going on about his girlfriend who had a foot fetish. “Foot fetish?!” I says. “Yeah, she was crazy about a foot but would never take any more than that.”

Yeah, that Squid, he’s got some crazy fetishes, but I’ve never met a “man” that liked to be eaten after he was grilled.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

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Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/11/2003 at 07:46 AM
Poor ol' Squid...
There was this one time he was sitting in a sushi restaurant just talking and drinking through their supply of saki, when he realized that he was getting some strange pain in his tentacles. He didn't think a whole lot of it at the time until he looked at the plate the waitress sat down before him and cried out, "Hey that's Mee!!!"

Then there was this other time when his tentacles got stuck in a biker's ass...

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

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Status: Offline

  posted on 21/11/2003 at 11:54 AM
chuckles and waits* I am holding back my good stuff... cause... well... so far this has been a tea party... you know... really, considering his smell... this isn't a roast, but I think this is more or a rot...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 
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