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Author: Subject: You know your a goth when....

Fanatic





Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/12/2002 at 05:35 AM
You Know You're a Goth When...

1. When you stock up on black eye liner.
2. When you use Halloween decorations for year round house decor.
3. When most of your wardrobe is black.
4. When people yell, "Hey it's not Halloween yet!"
5. When people can't tell if you're girl or a guy.
6. When you've been the Crow for Halloween before.
7. When every pair of shoes you own are black boots.
8. When you go to sleep when the sun comes up.
9. When you own a black cat.
10. When all the music groups you listen to are from the 80s.
11. When you have no smile lines.
12. When it takes 15 mintues to put on jewelry.
13. When a little kid comes up to you and asks you if you're a witch.
14. When all your jewelry is silver.
15. When you wear bondage with every outfit.
16. When The Crow, Bram Stroker's Dracula, Elvyra, The Addams Family 1&2, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Interview with the Vampire, The Lost Boys, and A Nightmare Before Christmas are in your movie collection.
17. When your bedroom window is covered in foil.
18. When you're over dressed where ever you go.
19. When you find yourself quickly jumping into shade if you have to be outside during the day time.
20. When you don't dare leave the house without a pair of sunglasses.

I was 15 for 20, heh...

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 
Visit User's Homepage

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/12/2002 at 10:56 AM
Heh, really now?

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/12/2002 at 12:48 PM
21. When you can write a 'you know you're goth' list.
22. When you get the humour in it.
23. When you have more to add.

(Check me out... I must be goth!)

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Member




Posts: 79
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/12/2002 at 05:33 AM
24: You don't enter certain pubs unless you are properly dressed (=in black)
25: Most of your goth friends don't recognise you when you are not dressed all in black
26: You TRY not to be recognised by your goth friends when you are not dressed all in black
27: Your favorite character from both Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman is Death
28: You can tell more than 10 different shades of black
29: You have a strange affinity to cokroaches (black ones, of course)
30: Most of your friends are non-christians (or at least say they are)

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/12/2002 at 09:21 AM
31. Most of your friends have names that usually only occur in horror/ramonace novels.
32. You do your home decorating on Nov. 1st.
33. You own more candles than socks.
34. you can name 4 operas and hum part of the arias

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/12/2002 at 08:40 AM
35. someone gives you a piece of spider (bat, snake, dragon, skull, etc.) kitsch, and you don't like it because it it too cute!
 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 15
Registered: 4/11/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/12/2002 at 03:35 PM
37. When your family comes over and says they can't see your garden at night.
38. When your friends complain they can't fix their hair because there is no mirror....
39. When you eat so much 'goth' foods that your shit's black and smells like cloves......(lol if you don't mind it)

 

____________________
I have one big yellow furry monkey ball.....yellow furry monkey ball.........yellow...*slaps self* oh forget it, its useless, they'll never understand.....

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/12/2002 at 07:37 AM
40. You have honest to goodness bats in your belfry
41. You've been wearing a dead junkies shoes for five years

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/12/2002 at 06:43 AM
42. You can hold conversations about shades of blue black / green black etc...
43. When guards at metal detectors shudder when they see you coming.
44. Eldritch / Murphy comes to *you* for fashion advise.
45. You own more then 5 eyeliners.
46. You use them all for different bodily parts.
47. Snakebite and black and clove cigarettes are never far from your person.
48. You buy fishnets worth £10 and rip them on purpose.
49. You don't know whether you've been hitting on a guy or a girl til they're naked.
50. You don't care either way.
51. You associated with the Count from Sesame Street
52. You own a hearse, but don't work in a funeral parlour.
53. You enjoy spending time in the local graveyard.
54. No-one you know is buried there.
55. You and your boyfriend fight over the makeup.
56. You think anything dead is pretty.
57. More so than anything alive.
58. Your boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world country for a month.
59. You argue over whether Lily Munster or Morticia Addams is prettier.
60. You decide Wednesday beats them both!

(I have too much time on my hands)

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/12/2002 at 09:27 AM
61. You know that vanilla is not a flavor of ice-cream
62. You are a member of Shmeng
63. You passed the goth test on the first try
64. You are still finding things to add to a "you know your a goth list"
65. You have far to much free time on your hands.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 15
Registered: 4/11/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/1/2003 at 08:49 PM
66. When people read off this list to you, you nod to to every one and cackle insanely....
67. When you look at people they shrink away, mostly out of fear of your steel-tipped boots.....
68. You don't fantasize, you're rojecting your astral self out to dimensions unknown to rid your soul of this forsaken place...

 

____________________
I have one big yellow furry monkey ball.....yellow furry monkey
ball.........yellow...*slaps self* oh forget it, its useless, they'll never
understand.....

 

Coward




Posts: 3
Registered: 26/7/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 09:22 AM
[Long piece of plagarized copy and pasted text removed by annoyed diety]

[Edited on 8/21/2003 by Devin]

 

____________________
26mDenver
http://www.end.at/zp
check out my site

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 10:54 AM
and i repeat
PLAGERISM IS NOT COOL

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 289
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 11:16 AM
*Hands Callei the Napalm LIme Jello mix®*

 

____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me

 

Fanatic




Posts: 293
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 12:09 PM
im going to have to post the goth commandments.. hehe

 

____________________
"Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 01:07 PM
light it up baby, I have the soy hotdogs and the tequilla.
just leave the underwear for me.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 03:36 PM
Vamp I would sooo love to see those again
Bettie I've got the tongs and fork-with-the-really-long-handle

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 03:40 PM
make sure they're the EXTRA extra long handle. I don't know where they've been (but I can imagine and that's almost as frightening as reality could be)

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 04:00 PM
eww you are sooo right. *gets the bulldoser instead*

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires />
away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 293
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 21/8/2003 at 06:58 PM
These are the Goth comandments... enjoy... or thou art a fucking poser... heheh


Thou shalt wear black. Thou shalt wear black and thou shalt fucking dye thy hair and shine thy boots and wear heavy makeup. This law is immutable.

Thou shalt like Bauhaus, Alien Sex Fiend, Sex Gang Children, Cinema Strange, Sisters of Mercy and the Cure's first three or four albums, or thou art a fucking poser.

Thou shalt fight like a motherfucker when confronted, for thou art scarey and mean.

Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the devil, for thou art scarey and mean.

Thou shalt read Byron, Poe and Poppy Z. Brite. Thou shalt not just buy the books because they look good on thy bookshelf, thou shalt fucking well read them.

Thou shalt not pretend to be a vampire, particularly when thou art in highschool, for that is fucking gheye.

Thou shalt seek an 'alternative religion', no matter how wacky, and thou shalt practise it. Thou shalt not give two shits if another bad-mouths said 'alternative religion' for thou art not just scary and mean, but thou art fucked-in-the-head as well.

Thou shalt not wear pink nor yellow, except as accents or in a sarcastic fashion.

Thou shalt wear fishnet. This law is immutable.

Thou shalt not wear off-the-rack outfits or thou art a fucking poser.

Thou shalt not nitpick over "types" of goth nor waste webspace defining said, or thou art a fucking loser.

Thou shalt support thy local scene and contribute to thy subculture or thou shalt not fucking whinge about it.

Thou shalt aquaint thyself with the history of the modern gothic subculture.

Thou shalt eschew 80s cock-rock hair bands. Though shalt not wear clothing by Lip-Service because Lip-Service designed clothing for shitty hair-metal bands like Poison and is therefore not a goth label.

Thou shalt eschew crappy glam-metal bands from the 1980s and anything that ever had anything to do with them, like Lip-Service. Guns N' Roses, on the other hand, art technically a punk band and therefore OK.

Thou shalt not complain about thy local scene and then proceed to neither do anything about it nor move to another. Thou shalt not move to a different local scene and then bitch about how "it was so much better over there" and then proceed to not do something better where thou livest.

Thou shalt not confuse the Victorian Neo-Gothic fashion movement with the Gothic Subculture or thou shalt be deemed "a dumbass."

Thou shalt not whinge about how much goth sucks, or thou canst fucking start thine own subculture & get the fuck out of ours.

Thou shalt smoke kretek -- not 'clove cigarettes', but kretek. Thou shalt call said smokey-treats 'kretek' and thou shalt like it. If thou hasn't the lungs to smoke kretek, thou shalt smoke Marlboros because Nik Fiend does or Lucky Strikes for the Poppy Z Brite reference.

Thou shalt not appear to all intents and purposes to be a goth and then claim not to be.

Thou shalt be a cat-person, or at least pretend to be. Thou shalt not, however, pretend to be a were-cat, for that is fucking gheye.

Thou shalt watch cheesy horror-movies from the 1950s and thou shalt like it. Thou shalt watch silent horror-films and thou shalt like this too.

Thou shalt not feign Transylvanian accents, nor British ones, nor Irish.

Thou shalt not claim to be decended from Gypsies, nor from Visigoths, nor from Celts nor Picts nor Romanians unless thou art, in fact, descended from such.

Thou shalt take bad photos of thinself and loved-ones goofing-off in the local cemetery. Thou shalt post these photographs on thy web-page and not give a shit about what the others say. Thou shalt also, occasionally, take *good* photos of thyeself and loved-ones in the cemetery and thou shalt be very proud of these photos.

Thou shalt play regularly in abandoned buildings, especially abandoned churches and cathedrals and thou shalt like it. Thou shalt also recognise the difference between a church and a cathedral or thou art a poseur.

Thou shalt recognise the historical importance, to the scene, the names "Johnny Slut", "Rozz Williams", "Nik Fiend", "Peter Murphy", "Siouxsie Sioux", "Robert smith" & "sexbat". Failure to recognise historical importance of these names or thou shall admit ignorance of the scene and proceed to do some research.

Thou shalt drink things which taste like aniseed, and thou shalt like it, or thou shalt drink whiskey. If thou drinkest whiskey thou shalt drink it straight and aquiant thyself with the history and particulars of whiskey. Thou shalt also be able to tell the differences, by taste, between American, Scotch and Irish whiskeys, or between Ouzo, Absinthe and Sambuca.

Thou shalt know what the Batcave and Slimelight were.

Thou shalt feel a deep connection with Ministry's "Every Day is Halloween". Thou shalt also not be ignorant of Ministry's roots, nor of their development.

Thou shalt recognise "Gothic Lolita"s a Japanese fashion-movement having no real connections to Goth as a subculture. Thou shalt recognise Japanese visual-rock or "visual kei" as being musical performance art and thou shalt not confuse it with something remotely connected to Goth, as a subculture.

Thou shalt not be mopey, nor sucicidal, nor shalt thou murder thy classmates, or thou art a jerk.

Thou shalt recognise the difference between a "movement" and a "subculture" and be able to explain these fine-points if confronted.

Thou shalt understand the finer points of backcombing, and thou shalt backcomb.

Thou shalt not mistake 80s pop-culture for goth, nor shall thou confuse 80s pop music with goth. Thou shalt, on the other hand, like all the gay '80s synth-pop thou pleases, AS LONG AS thou doest NOT claim it to be goth!

Thou shalt never never never NEVER claim Synth-Pop to be the be-all and end-all of goth, nor shall you consider it such, nor shall you even believe it to be goth, and thou shalt differentiate between Synth-Pop & Goth.

Thou shalt recognise the difference between being bisexual and merely claiming bisexuality as a means of getting attention. Thou shalt also recognise the differences between being a slut and merely acting slutty for purposes of getting attention.

Thou shalt summarily execute any so-called DJ who can not/will not play Bauhaus at a goth club.

Thou shalt run or work for goth clubs only because thou lovest thy scene passionately, not because thou wishest to be popular. This applies also to stores, magazines, radio programmes, etc.

Thou shalt not claim Sarah Brightman to be a "Goth."

Thou shalt be insular & cliquey towards normals, but thou shalt refrain from backbiting & bitchery within the scene.

Thou shalt not claim to be oldschool if thou art not. Thou shalt not claim to have been a goth longer than thou hast. Thou shalt not claim to have met Trent Reznor unless thou hast, in fact, met Trent Reznor. Thou shalt not claim or pretend to know who Trent Reznor is if thou doest not, and if thou does not, thou art a poser.

Thou shalt recognise the differences between Wicca, neo-paganism, Druidism, Thelema, Qabbalah, Satanism and other occult religions past and present and never shall thou treat these terms as interchangable.

Thou shalt do thy research before thou openest thy gob and speaking about anything. Taking thy friend's word does not count as research.

Thou shalt not bitch and moan about labels such as Lip Service, Cleopatra and Hot Topic and then buy their products anyway.

Thou shalt have a sense of humour about thyself and thy subculture, for really, thou doest looketh like a bit of a dick. Thou shalt know when thou lookest like a dick, and thou shalt laugh about it, for if thou doest not, someone else will.

Thou shalt not claim to suffer from chronic insomnia or other sleep-disorders unless thou truly doest. Thou shalt not claim to suffer from bipolar disorder or another mental illness unless thou truly doest. Thou shalt not claim to be prescribed any medications, past or present, unless thou actually hast been. If thou doest so, very very lame art thee.

Thou shalt not claim to be sensitive to sunlight unless thou truly art. Thou shalt not get thy prescription glasses UV-tinted unless thy was urged to do so by thine optometrist.

Thou shalt not feign disorders, traumas, or angst. Thou shalt not feign nihilism, existentialism, or fatalism. Thou shalt not pretend to be, to have, or to have done anything which thou art not, hast not, or hast never done, or thou art one hell of a poser.

Thou shalt not use "poser" as an insult without genuine grounds to do so.

 

____________________
"Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments


 
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