Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/12/2002 at 05:35 AM |
You Know You're a Goth When...
1. When you stock up on black eye liner.
2. When you use Halloween decorations for year round house decor.
3. When most of your wardrobe is black.
4. When people yell, "Hey it's not Halloween yet!"
5. When people can't tell if you're girl or a guy.
6. When you've been the Crow for Halloween before.
7. When every pair of shoes you own are black boots.
8. When you go to sleep when the sun comes up.
9. When you own a black cat.
10. When all the music groups you listen to are from the 80s.
11. When you have no smile lines.
12. When it takes 15 mintues to put on jewelry.
13. When a little kid comes up to you and asks you if you're a witch.
14. When all your jewelry is silver.
15. When you wear bondage with every outfit.
16. When The Crow, Bram Stroker's Dracula, Elvyra, The Addams Family
1&2, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Interview with the Vampire, The
Lost Boys, and A Nightmare Before Christmas are in your movie
collection.
17. When your bedroom window is covered in foil.
18. When you're over dressed where ever you go.
19. When you find yourself quickly jumping into shade if you have to be
outside during the day time.
20. When you don't dare leave the house without a pair of sunglasses.
I was 15 for 20, heh...
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 20/1/2005 at 06:07 PM |
I didnt even remember that Halloween was Halloween until the day after this
year. i missed it all together. unless that was last year... i forget. ____________________ fucking classy. |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 20/1/2005 at 04:25 PM |
Tell him... I think dressing up for halloween is childish... why did you
dress up? ____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 20/1/2005 at 03:57 AM |
Bloody satanists, hanging around the seven eleven of a night. Youd think a
Satanist would have better things to do than loiter near corner shops and
scare old folk. But then again isn't that what most satanists are really
about?
Do people think that something like 'Thou shalt not claim to be a Satanist
unless thou actually worshipst Satan or knowest who Anton LaVeyy is' should
be a Goth commandment? The amount of bloody wannabe satanists
around....gah, they have no logic to them. At least wannabe christians
kinda have that by default.
[Edited on 20/1/2005 by W0rmW00d] ____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world. |
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KittyGoesMrow
Fanatic Posts: 218 Registered: 30/4/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/1/2005 at 08:23 PM |
This topic made me think of the time when me and my friend were at the 7-11
on Halloween and this real old guy staggers up to us and goes "Ohhh Is that
your costume? Or do you always dress like that?" I almost started crying
and i clung to my friend and we overheard him go up to the counter to the
7-11 person and say "Must be some of them satanists" ____________________ Anata ga sabishii toki, bokumo sabishii n da yo |
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Gothic_Beauty
Coward Posts: 2 Registered: 18/1/2005 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/1/2005 at 12:48 AM |
Pfft
Who knew being gothic would take up so much work....
*Sighs. Goes away ____________________ This is a disturbing place. |
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anayansi
Occasional Poster Posts: 17 Registered: 18/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 18/1/2004 at 06:15 PM |
hmm...i got 14.5 on the first set, but i apparently have a lot of work to
do! that's okay...i can and do laugh at myself on a regular basis, and i've
gotten over the being fake part of growing up, those are the most important
bits. post the tao of goth, please, if it was half as amusing as this it'll
be worth a read and a half. |
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BlueLinn
Fanatic Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 16/1/2004 at 04:04 PM |
:nods: :holds up a peace sign: :walks in another march for peace: ____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began? |
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dead-cell
Fanatic Posts: 344 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 15/1/2004 at 09:11 PM |
The bell tolls for thee MRD
I'm with you Blue Linn. I think I am more of a Beatnik.
[Edited on 1/16/2004 by dead-cell] ____________________ co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me) |
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MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 15/1/2004 at 03:54 PM |
Oh no! I have broken so many of the goth commandments. This site also
has...uh oh. The Devinity is in trouble. ____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell |
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BlueLinn
Fanatic Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 15/1/2004 at 01:25 PM |
I think I'm a hippie.... ____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began? |
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BlueLinn
Fanatic Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/8/2003 at 09:56 AM |
Thou shalt be yourself/completely unique and not give a flying fruck about
what anyone else says.... ____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began? |
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VampCourt
Fanatic Posts: 293 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/8/2003 at 11:02 AM |
oh i have not... post it! that would be kick ass.. ____________________ "Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 25/8/2003 at 07:04 AM |
did you ever see the Tao of Goth? that was a great one too. I think i have
a copy of the site around here somewhere.. ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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VampCourt
Fanatic Posts: 293 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/8/2003 at 10:57 AM |
arent those funny as fuck? I found those one day and i died. it was just
toooo much sillyness..
I love the thou art scarey and mean... heheh ____________________ "Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor
the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments
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Psychopixi
Fanatic Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/8/2003 at 04:27 AM |
I've never read them before, and that was one hell of a laugh! I can claim
Celtic, witch and pirate heritage, and I have proof of all of them because
my mother went on a family history rampage! ____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 21/8/2003 at 07:13 PM |
I fucking love that...been a while since I"ve read through them and I swear
it never gets old!
I especially like "...and thou shall LIKE it." under several directives.
Thanks court, I needed that! ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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VampCourt
Fanatic Posts: 293 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 21/8/2003 at 06:58 PM |
These are the Goth comandments... enjoy... or thou art a fucking poser...
heheh
Thou shalt wear black. Thou shalt wear black and thou shalt fucking dye thy
hair and shine thy boots and wear heavy makeup. This law is immutable.
Thou shalt like Bauhaus, Alien Sex Fiend, Sex Gang Children, Cinema
Strange, Sisters of Mercy and the Cure's first three or four albums, or
thou art a fucking poser.
Thou shalt fight like a motherfucker when confronted, for thou art scarey
and mean.
Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean.
Thou shalt read Byron, Poe and Poppy Z. Brite. Thou shalt not just buy the
books because they look good on thy bookshelf, thou shalt fucking well read
them.
Thou shalt not pretend to be a vampire, particularly when thou art in
highschool, for that is fucking gheye.
Thou shalt seek an 'alternative religion', no matter how wacky, and thou
shalt practise it. Thou shalt not give two shits if another bad-mouths said
'alternative religion' for thou art not just scary and mean, but thou art
fucked-in-the-head as well.
Thou shalt not wear pink nor yellow, except as accents or in a sarcastic
fashion.
Thou shalt wear fishnet. This law is immutable.
Thou shalt not wear off-the-rack outfits or thou art a fucking poser.
Thou shalt not nitpick over "types" of goth nor waste webspace defining
said, or thou art a fucking loser.
Thou shalt support thy local scene and contribute to thy subculture or thou
shalt not fucking whinge about it.
Thou shalt aquaint thyself with the history of the modern gothic
subculture.
Thou shalt eschew 80s cock-rock hair bands. Though shalt not wear clothing
by Lip-Service because Lip-Service designed clothing for shitty hair-metal
bands like Poison and is therefore not a goth label.
Thou shalt eschew crappy glam-metal bands from the 1980s and anything that
ever had anything to do with them, like Lip-Service. Guns N' Roses, on the
other hand, art technically a punk band and therefore OK.
Thou shalt not complain about thy local scene and then proceed to neither
do anything about it nor move to another. Thou shalt not move to a
different local scene and then bitch about how "it was so much better over
there" and then proceed to not do something better where thou livest.
Thou shalt not confuse the Victorian Neo-Gothic fashion movement with the
Gothic Subculture or thou shalt be deemed "a dumbass."
Thou shalt not whinge about how much goth sucks, or thou canst fucking
start thine own subculture & get the fuck out of ours.
Thou shalt smoke kretek -- not 'clove cigarettes', but kretek. Thou shalt
call said smokey-treats 'kretek' and thou shalt like it. If thou hasn't the
lungs to smoke kretek, thou shalt smoke Marlboros because Nik Fiend does or
Lucky Strikes for the Poppy Z Brite reference.
Thou shalt not appear to all intents and purposes to be a goth and then
claim not to be.
Thou shalt be a cat-person, or at least pretend to be. Thou shalt not,
however, pretend to be a were-cat, for that is fucking gheye.
Thou shalt watch cheesy horror-movies from the 1950s and thou shalt like
it. Thou shalt watch silent horror-films and thou shalt like this too.
Thou shalt not feign Transylvanian accents, nor British ones, nor Irish.
Thou shalt not claim to be decended from Gypsies, nor from Visigoths, nor
from Celts nor Picts nor Romanians unless thou art, in fact, descended from
such.
Thou shalt take bad photos of thinself and loved-ones goofing-off in the
local cemetery. Thou shalt post these photographs on thy web-page and not
give a shit about what the others say. Thou shalt also, occasionally, take
*good* photos of thyeself and loved-ones in the cemetery and thou shalt be
very proud of these photos.
Thou shalt play regularly in abandoned buildings, especially abandoned
churches and cathedrals and thou shalt like it. Thou shalt also recognise
the difference between a church and a cathedral or thou art a poseur.
Thou shalt recognise the historical importance, to the scene, the names
"Johnny Slut", "Rozz Williams", "Nik Fiend", "Peter Murphy", "Siouxsie
Sioux", "Robert smith" & "sexbat". Failure to recognise historical
importance of these names or thou shall admit ignorance of the scene and
proceed to do some research.
Thou shalt drink things which taste like aniseed, and thou shalt like it,
or thou shalt drink whiskey. If thou drinkest whiskey thou shalt drink it
straight and aquiant thyself with the history and particulars of whiskey.
Thou shalt also be able to tell the differences, by taste, between
American, Scotch and Irish whiskeys, or between Ouzo, Absinthe and
Sambuca.
Thou shalt know what the Batcave and Slimelight were.
Thou shalt feel a deep connection with Ministry's "Every Day is Halloween".
Thou shalt also not be ignorant of Ministry's roots, nor of their
development.
Thou shalt recognise "Gothic Lolita"s a Japanese fashion-movement having no
real connections to Goth as a subculture. Thou shalt recognise Japanese
visual-rock or "visual kei" as being musical performance art and thou shalt
not confuse it with something remotely connected to Goth, as a
subculture.
Thou shalt not be mopey, nor sucicidal, nor shalt thou murder thy
classmates, or thou art a jerk.
Thou shalt recognise the difference between a "movement" and a "subculture"
and be able to explain these fine-points if confronted.
Thou shalt understand the finer points of backcombing, and thou shalt
backcomb.
Thou shalt not mistake 80s pop-culture for goth, nor shall thou confuse 80s
pop music with goth. Thou shalt, on the other hand, like all the gay '80s
synth-pop thou pleases, AS LONG AS thou doest NOT claim it to be goth!
Thou shalt never never never NEVER claim Synth-Pop to be the be-all and
end-all of goth, nor shall you consider it such, nor shall you even believe
it to be goth, and thou shalt differentiate between Synth-Pop &
Goth.
Thou shalt recognise the difference between being bisexual and merely
claiming bisexuality as a means of getting attention. Thou shalt also
recognise the differences between being a slut and merely acting slutty for
purposes of getting attention.
Thou shalt summarily execute any so-called DJ who can not/will not play
Bauhaus at a goth club.
Thou shalt run or work for goth clubs only because thou lovest thy scene
passionately, not because thou wishest to be popular. This applies also to
stores, magazines, radio programmes, etc.
Thou shalt not claim Sarah Brightman to be a "Goth."
Thou shalt be insular & cliquey towards normals, but thou shalt refrain
from backbiting & bitchery within the scene.
Thou shalt not claim to be oldschool if thou art not. Thou shalt not claim
to have been a goth longer than thou hast. Thou shalt not claim to have met
Trent Reznor unless thou hast, in fact, met Trent Reznor. Thou shalt not
claim or pretend to know who Trent Reznor is if thou doest not, and if thou
does not, thou art a poser.
Thou shalt recognise the differences between Wicca, neo-paganism, Druidism,
Thelema, Qabbalah, Satanism and other occult religions past and present and
never shall thou treat these terms as interchangable.
Thou shalt do thy research before thou openest thy gob and speaking about
anything. Taking thy friend's word does not count as research.
Thou shalt not bitch and moan about labels such as Lip Service, Cleopatra
and Hot Topic and then buy their products anyway.
Thou shalt have a sense of humour about thyself and thy subculture, for
really, thou doest looketh like a bit of a dick. Thou shalt know when thou
lookest like a dick, and thou shalt laugh about it, for if thou doest not,
someone else will.
Thou shalt not claim to suffer from chronic insomnia or other
sleep-disorders unless thou truly doest. Thou shalt not claim to suffer
from bipolar disorder or another mental illness unless thou truly doest.
Thou shalt not claim to be prescribed any medications, past or present,
unless thou actually hast been. If thou doest so, very very lame art
thee.
Thou shalt not claim to be sensitive to sunlight unless thou truly art.
Thou shalt not get thy prescription glasses UV-tinted unless thy was urged
to do so by thine optometrist.
Thou shalt not feign disorders, traumas, or angst. Thou shalt not feign
nihilism, existentialism, or fatalism. Thou shalt not pretend to be, to
have, or to have done anything which thou art not, hast not, or hast never
done, or thou art one hell of a poser.
Thou shalt not use "poser" as an insult without genuine grounds to do so. ____________________ "Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor
the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 21/8/2003 at 04:00 PM |
eww you are sooo right. *gets the bulldoser instead* ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 21/8/2003 at 03:40 PM |
make sure they're the EXTRA extra long handle. I don't know where they've
been (but I can imagine and that's almost as frightening as reality could
be) ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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