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Author: Subject: Who the word Schmuck was invented for

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 11:33 AM
MRD
Hey, don't mind me, I'm a total random, from NZ actually. I just found that "Condemned to Eternal Hellfire" article you did at schmeng.com randomly off google and I was like "!!!!!". Tried to register quick so i could comment on it, but couldn't be bothered waiting. Point is, someone has to tell you, its the kind of thing one ought to know:

You are in SO MUCH DANGER.

Hell is REAL. How do I know this? I've BEEN THERE. It SUCKS. Like, HARD. Its the kind of thing that makes me go wide eyed thinking about, and start telling my mates that they're screwed without Jesus despite their giving me shit. Its really, really, scary. Like no pain you can possibly imagine, and like a horror movie no director could create.

You see, the universe is an ecosystem that rejects what is unhealthy to it. Like humans defecating. Like antibodies. And what is unhealthier to the planet than humans? What is the most dangerous animal on the planet? What is the core reason our planet is currently falling apart? Humans! We're living in 'sin'.

Theres this story in the Bible of Lazarus and the rich prat, you might have heard it. The rich prat was mean to Lazarus, a beggar - Lazarus ate the crumbs that fell from his table and the rich prat knocked him around. Then one week they died, the two of them. While Lazarus was in heaven cos he knew God (through Jesus) while he was alive, the rich prat didn't, and he was burning up. So the rich prat was like "Lord!! Please, let me go back to my mates and tell them about this horrible, horrible place!!!" and God was like "let me think... mmm, nah, they've got my prophets - if they ignore them thats their problem". So the rich prat was pretty guttered, and his mates and family joined him later.

BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!!! I'm not going back either!!! I'm going to the New Jerusalem to hang out with Jesus!! But not yet I'm not, I've still got some time to do what that poor old rich prat could never do - spread the gospel. I got another chance!! I'm back!! Praise God.

So if you've read down to here, and still taken me seriously, you might want to know that going to church doesn't do shit if you're not saved. You gotta be born again. You know why god is so hidden? He's spirit (John 4:24). And mankind is spiritually dead because of sin - so the one way that we might contact God is gone, because your spirit isn't working! You can't smell if you have no nose, so too you can't sense God without your God-organ, your spirit. You need to ask Jesus to fix that up.

This is the only thing that ever did or ever will matter in your life. Hell is real, I can almost still smell the sulphur. Just take my word for it, theres nothing to lose by praying this little thing here - nothing to lose, everything to gain.

"Whoa God - don't wanna burn Lord - thats some scary stuff. But hey, you died on my behalf, you love me that much? Well I can't turn down that offer Lord, I need your eternal life, Lord. Please, Jesus I need you, you're totally my only hope down here. Please come into me Jesus, heal my spirit Lord so I can know You proper! Oh thank you SO MUCH Lord, I'm so grateful!!"

Its quite a relief I gotta tell you. You won't regret it at all.

So email me back whether or not you just prayed that. Tell me to "fuck off you Jesus freak" if you want, I get that a lot, but I pray that I'll see you in heaven - if I see you there I'll buy you a beer, or do the heaven equivalent

K God Bless my friend,
Brad Mason

[email protected]

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 248
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 11:41 AM
Wow thats scary....I'm sorry.... He really thinks he's been to hell? WOW! The only think I could do was laugh the entire time.....JHC some people....So MRD what did you say to him in response?!

 

____________________
My Life is like a porno-Without the sex-Just the weird music

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 11:52 AM
Remember kiddies, hell sucks, like hard...

Feral

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 248
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 12:00 PM
lol that can be a good thing right?

 

____________________
My Life is like a porno-Without the sex-Just the weird music

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 12:49 PM
I had no idea what to say back. Callei came up with something good for me.

"Thank you for taking the time to visit Shmeng. We know this site isn’t for everyone, so we thank you for not cluttering up our members list with your information. We are of course sorry to hear that you aren’t secure enough in your views to post them publicly, but we do understand. Not everyone has that much faith in themselves or their beliefs. Our best wishes to you in your life's journey.

The Shmeng"

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 02:05 PM
Sounds like a good response...if you're going to dignify the email with a response that is.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 05:21 PM
I used that response and got this in return:


?

Uh, I can't decide whether to sign up and post that email on your site to prove a point or stay well away cos im insulted. Im pretty firm in my 'beliefs' - I KNOW hell is real, I've been there, I said. You're calling me a liar - all I want to do is get the message across. I'm Chicken Little and the sky is fucking falling.

I was trying to do you a favour, thats all. But I've done my bit - you can't whinge on Judgement Day and say nobody warned you.

Why don't you take my email and post it on your site. Which by the way has still not sent me the register details. I tried to register, I did.

Anyways, God bless you Amanda,

Brad

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't />
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is
the

experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/4/2005 at 11:13 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....eeeeeeAHA! :wheeze: HAHAHA...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >snort< :cough cough: aaaaaah...heh heh...hehehe...>snerk< BAHAHAHAHAHA...


oh man...man oh man...

see? THIS is why I saved up and bought a chain saw.

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/4/2005 at 08:29 PM
How is he sure he's still not in Hell?

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 27/4/2005 at 10:53 PM
I'm totally gonna whinge on judgement day. I hope it is something nifty and loud that mangles saints and crazy xian youths, instead of just a spelling error. I'm gonna go invent it, and whinge the fuck out of people all day long.

I'm sure his outpouring of concern and like doods and for reals is well meant, but what I wanna know is all that really matters; does that schtick get him laid. I bet it works great on youth group girls. Even better he can get a guitar and some tattoos and rock out for jesus on Flicker Records....he'll get so much holy poon he'll be seeing plaid skirts and knee socks for years. He can tour with creed, totally dood!

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 218
Registered: 30/4/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 28/4/2005 at 03:44 PM
Oh geez. That is compltely INSANE. I feel really bad for that kid. Maybe he should sign up so we can talk some sense into him. Or maybe just have his parents put him in a sanitarium. =\ I mean if he is really gonig around and e-mailing everyone with that then he must either a) really belive it or b) he is just doing it for shits and giggles.

 

____________________
Anata ga sabishii toki, bokumo sabishii n da yo

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 28/4/2005 at 10:20 PM
...Or we could kill him.

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 28/4/2005 at 11:22 PM
no no no. The education box. It's under the trap door in my closet.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 248
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/4/2005 at 10:48 AM
gezzuz...Thats sad so very very sad. I think I'm with Dolo but another one of him would just pop up...They never seem to go away....Maybe he will be a new cult leader or something and start a new sect of xianity of believers who go down to hell and visit with Satan or something or he throws his believers into an oven for a taste of hell and yea I dunno lol!

 

____________________
My Life is like a porno-Without the sex-Just the weird music

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/4/2005 at 11:09 PM
*sigh* I'll get the nikes and the kool aid....

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/4/2005 at 11:13 PM
See, idiots like this are the reason I started my own personal sterilization program. It's quick, easy, and cheap. It's essentially me. With a shotgun. Enough said.

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/4/2005 at 11:47 PM
You know... we've needed a Bill Gates for some time now. I'm kinda sorry he didn't show up. It's always fun to tear into the psychotically deluded...

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/4/2005 at 09:04 PM
I ahve a question... why is it bad that he has a passionate set of beliefs? he knows what he feels, and sticks by his guns... mayhaps, his intentions were simply pure...

Feral

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/4/2005 at 10:02 PM
His beliefs aren't bad and his passion isn't bad, and sticking to his guns isn't bad, it's how he comes off, which is slightly nutty or zealous. I have strong beliefs, I stick to my guns, but I'm not in the habit of randomly emailing people to tell them I've "seen the light" or some other analogy (can't think of any that really fit). If he genuinely wants to "save her soul" and has concern for her well being, that is all well and good, but obviously he's got the 'crackpot' response more than once, and either enjoys coming off like a crackpot or assumes all who think he's a crackpot or a little overzealous are ignorant. It's like if I randomly started emailing people online about saving their souls through veganism, instead of arguing it in a discussion forum. Then *I* would be a spaz. Fair nuff.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 897
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/5/2005 at 05:33 AM
More than slightly nutty. You know, if he had left out that part about having actually been to hell, it wouldn't have been so bad. Irritating, yes, with that obviously desperate attempt to make the gospel sound hip and up-to-date, with the "screwed without Jesus", and the "rich prat".

Unfortunately, many sects of Christianity teach their impressionable young followers that it is acceptable to go up to random people that they know nothing about, and tell them that you know more about their lives and what they should do then the person, or the person's friends. And they don't teach them that it's necessary to produce proof to have intelligent people take them seriously. So they end up sounding like pushy, arrogant nutcases without knowing it, and get their feelings hurt when people treat them that way. It's sad.

 

____________________
"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 
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