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< Last Thread   Next Thread ><<  1    2    3  >>Ascending sortDescending sorting  
Author: Subject: NEW GAME: Worst Personals EVER

Extreme Fanatic





Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/10/2004 at 02:40 PM
you post a personal ad... not a real one, but it must be in the format of true personals... it has to be horrible, horrific or terrifying ins SOME way...

i.e. Mongoloid underwear model with an extra limb (you guess where) in search of dolphin lover with own snorkel.

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 478
Registered: 22/9/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/10/2004 at 02:59 PM
shouldn't this be in the games group?

group of students looking for used toilet paper for new 'fatkins-diet' experiment.

 

____________________
fucking classy.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/10/2004 at 07:52 PM
no... because the people that place these ads tend to be "Pseudo-Intellectual Fuckwits"

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/10/2004 at 08:23 PM
S/W/F just released from prison after serving time for killing two-timing good for nothing boyfriend. Seeking a non-smoking loyal man for relationship. I enjoy cooking, bowling and target shooting. Only serious inquiries please. Mailbox #IWILKILUB4LNG.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Fanatic




Posts: 478
Registered: 22/9/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 22/10/2004 at 08:57 PM
petafile looking for young reflexafile. all young bulimic girls interested, you can get in touch with me at your convince by calling 894-542-puke.

 

____________________
fucking classy.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/10/2004 at 05:46 AM
SSM seeks SGM for sugardaddy. Must like sunsets, barbedwire, and rawfoods. Turn offs: big families, cell phones. Turn ons: Lotion, hammers, fishtanks.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 478
Registered: 22/9/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/10/2004 at 10:08 AM
*laughs* good call callei, that one was impressive.

 

____________________
fucking classy.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 23/10/2004 at 03:16 PM
SWF seeks Amish girl for long term relationship. Must enjoy talking, long walks, and buggy rides. Horse whip optional.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 24/10/2004 at 12:00 PM
"Wanted: Ass bandit to hold up this caboose. Dick smoker a plus." ~Margaret Cho

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 24/10/2004 at 08:29 PM
You: at the Cafeteria desert bar, slipping caramels into your brazier. Me: at the buffet table, nonchalantly tossing croutons in the air and catching them in my mouth, just to get your attention - followed by grapes, swedish meatballs, and a leg of lamb. When I came to, you were gone. Call me, I think there was something special there...

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 24/10/2004 at 08:36 PM
swmstosog: Single White Male Siamese Twins, One Straight - One Gay Desperately Seeking swfstosowtugr: Single White Female Siamese Twins One Straight One Willing To Undergo Gender Reassignment - Straight one must be on my right, her left - or willing to stand on her head. Must be baptist

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/10/2004 at 11:48 AM
SWM halfling with THACO of 8, dexterity of 19, and high charisma awaits a single elven princess for long walks on the beach, hitting each other with foam swords, and pickpocket practice. Will you be mine?

Single latin male seeks partner for overthrowing capitalist dictator. Hobbies include wearing army fatigues, smoking cigars, and planning the revolution. First date: Dinner at a nice restaurant, then a romantic movie. Afterward, throwing molotov cocktails at the dictator's hacienda.

 

____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 344
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/10/2004 at 01:13 PM
40yr. old SWM virgin seeks 60yr. old-ish dominatrix for foreplay that includes both of us in poka-dot dresses and gray wigs (if not already gray then just me). Must be liked being called mother during sex, and an interest in taxidermy considered a plus. Currently residing in a large old house on top of a hill w/ over view of motel and desert below.

[Edited on 10/25/2004 by dead-cell]

[Edited on 10/25/2004 by dead-cell]

 

____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)

 

Fanatic




Posts: 478
Registered: 22/9/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/10/2004 at 03:25 PM
there are really getting quite insane.

 

____________________
fucking classy.

 

Member




Posts: 71
Registered: 18/6/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/10/2004 at 09:37 PM
^spam

-----------------------------------------------------------
24 yr old man, looking for a girl who likes to be beaten up.
Recently escaped from prison, is on the run for life, this
person has to able to run as well as scream. Needs to be
able to think abstractly. Must be 22 a women, not had a
sex change, good size breast, nice body. And she must like
sunsets and rain.
----------------------------------------------------------

 

____________________
"It is said that we loose ourselves in rage, I think I find what is missing, when it happens."

"These scars are just for show, it's the ones inside that you have to worry about."

"When I get into a fight, all I think is..."KILL HIM"..."

 

Member




Posts: 98
Registered: 18/10/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/10/2004 at 08:17 AM
Tall, dark, and shady SWM seeks single mom in the suburbs. Must be a heavy sleeper who can overlook slight criminal record and hasn't heard of Megan's Law. Drunken codependents a plus.

[Edited on 10/26/2004 by RedQueen]

 

____________________
Today's liberals are tomorrow's conservatives. When my generation is the conservatives, we'll be fine letting gays get married and creationism vs. evolution in schools will be a laughable issue.

But by god we'll be sticking it to the damn cyborgs!

 

Coward




Posts: 9
Registered: 21/10/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/10/2004 at 08:21 AM
Swm Seeks attractive red head who's a little kinky, older woman who is willing to leave her rich husband and support me with the money she takes from him in the divorce

 

____________________
It's all fun and games till somebidy gets hurt. Than its hillarious

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/10/2004 at 11:31 AM
*topic rule addendum... commentary i.e. spam is welcome

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
/>







Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Member




Posts: 98
Registered: 18/10/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/10/2004 at 11:56 AM
Mmmmm.... spam....

"Spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam and spam."

"I don't like spam!"

Kinky Dominate Married F seeks submissive M/F of whatever relationship status to attend BDSM food fetish con and possibly build long-term obsession with. Must like spam, creamed corn, and chocolate pudding- you'll be eating/wearing/wrestling in it. No foot fetish replies. please. Serious bitches only.

 

____________________
Today's liberals are tomorrow's conservatives. When my generation is the
conservatives, we'll be fine letting gays get married and creationism vs.
evolution in schools will be a laughable issue.



But by god we'll be sticking it to the damn cyborgs!

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 26/10/2004 at 11:59 AM
Big-boned love machine (52) seeks busty young blonde to share and trade venereal diseases.

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 
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