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Author: Subject: YOU ARE NOT A POET!

Member





Posts: 99
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 11:57 AM
Do NOT submit poetry

Do NOT submit something that is really poetry but you've disguised it

how much more clear can we be about this?

yes, someone submitted a POEM. a POEM!

I blinked a few times, astounded that people are STILL submitting poetry.

There is a poetry shooting gallery. go ahead and stick your poetry there if you want us to make fun of you

(mono wrote a lovely tribute to his toaster that still chokes me up)



[Edited on 7/11/2003 by ickgirl]

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 12:04 PM
yee gawds i thought i hit delete on that one already! that person just doesnt get it and refuses to get it. I have toss oodles of thier poems. But at least its not virgin porn.... of old bald men in diapers.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires away.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 522
Registered: 6/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 05:36 PM
Hey, I keep my crap in pathetic. heh. I gotta write a "Ode to bad poetry."

I remember the FIRST time I signed on to shmeng I saw this message from Devin on the main page which went something like this:

*thud thud thud*
Stop submitting poetry!
*continues slamming head against the table*

 

____________________
but at least you know, just how much pain there is in living
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 06:48 PM
Sometimes my writing style has minor rhymes, but nothing to the extent that it's all poetry disguised as paragraphs. Been curious - what really made the site get to the point where poetry could not be submitted? Hehe.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 293
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 07:01 PM
bad poetry makes my eyes ache. and half the time when i do see it online i skim past it. i imagine everyone else does this as well.

So why post it. DUH.

 

____________________
"Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 759
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 07:37 PM
that and everyone thinks they are the next Poe. Or trys to make some sordid high school fling out to be the romance of the ages. or thinks that a suicide note in iambic pentameter is "cool".
Well ok if i got one of those i might post it.

 

____________________
Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 07:40 PM
I understand being depressed, but I never understood the logic of thinking that suicide is cool. *eyebrow*
 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 11:42 PM
God I know, if there is one thing I can't stand is bad poetry. I am not much for poetry to begin with, but when it's bad, it's WAY bad. I've never written a poem that I'd let anyone see, and never for any reason than I HAD TO (ie: highschool) and even when I did I knew what a joke it'd be for me to try, so they were absurd in every way. And you will NEVER find anyone more rabidly defensive of their "work" than a BAD poet, let alone a BAD TEENAGE poet. Their defense is that they are merely far too deep for the common person and that they are ahead of their time. If they're ahead of anything they better be far ahead of me as possible because I've got my shotgun loaded.

The only poems I have been able to stomach in my life are ones by Jim Morrison (and those are more stories than poems), whoever the hell wrote "the book of counted sorrows" ( I think Dean Koontz makes them up for his books or just uses them liberally between chapters) and Shell Silverstein (who coincidentally wrote the songs for a hillbilly band called Dr. Hook).

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/7/2003 at 11:56 PM
I have little, if any, problems with dark and/or morbid poetry. In fact, I'll even settle for lovey-dovey poetry. However, some poems I seen out there can go from just outright "feel sorry for me" (there's quite a difference between expressing concerns and this) and whiney to outright having a curse word for every other word in the poem. Those poems are the ones that make me wince.

My mom theorizes that people who tend to outright abuse curse words just lack a better word. Sometimes I think she's right concerning some of these people. Nothing wrong with cursing, but outright abusing it, especially in a poem, is just far. @[email protected]

 

Administrator




Posts: 317
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Online

  posted on 12/7/2003 at 01:58 AM
There are only two poems that didn't get deleted in that mess. If the other stuff submitted were like them, we wouldn't have to declare this a poetry free zone.

Since one the poems was written by me, you might think it is here because of my ego. That's partly true, but at the time, it was posted as an example of poetry that would be acceptable.

1) It's different.

2) It's about something REAL. Even if you can write well, it's really hard to paint a poetic picture of something you haven't experienced.

3) It's in my own voice. It doesn't use words that I don't use when i'm talking to friends. I don't rhyme words like rain and pain in my everyday conversation - but I do rhyme words like months and once, so it's ok to use them (as long as it's not in couplets).

4) It's universal. Even though it's about something (someone) very personal, it's something that most people can relate to on some level.

5) It's not cliche. Illustrating the beauty of innocence and the ways it changes is a lot less trite than trying and failing to find another way to say "being a teenager sucks"

6) It has detail. There are images that you can picture when you read it. They are described in enough detail that you can see them.

The other poem that survived did so mostly because it was presented as a dream. It was submitted to the Dream Analysis column, it reads like a dream, and whether or not it was actually dreampt, it could have been.

1) It's different

2) It's about something that's not real, but not presented as being real. It's presented believably as a dream.

3) It is in a unique voice. The short sentances and simple statements give it a breathless feel that actually contributes to the feel as much as the storyline does.

4) It's universal. While you may not think about the subject normally, it probably wouldn't surprise you to have a similar dream.

5) It's not cliche. Although it has a cliche theme, it is actually presented in a fresh way - this is unusual.

6) It has detail. It paints a picture that you can see.

Both of these have another quality that the others lack. They're not whimpy. They don't use euphimisms or hide parts that don't need to be hidden (they both use the word "cums").

I don't want to give the impression that we hate poetry. I love poetry when it follows those rules. We never did get a submission that followed them though. When those rules aren't followed, poetry becomes painful - and I was being conditioned by that pain to just gloss over when something was submitted that was shaped like a poem. I'd whine to the other editors to save me from it like I was an estrogen girl and it was a spider. It took a lot of reading and listening to Nicole Blackman to get over all of that.

 

____________________
So Sayeth Me

 

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Posts: 598
Registered: 24/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/7/2003 at 09:31 PM
Nuts, and here I was going to submit my poem that I wrote about the baby-blue pothole that is my soul...

 

____________________
Okay, dazzle me.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/7/2003 at 11:20 PM
Baby blue pothoule! I thought I was the only one with a baby blue pothole soul!! NOOOO!!!

I've decided since I can't write poetry I'll settle for doing really thick and horrible makeup in the middle of the night and making face prints in a notebook.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 07:52 AM
Hehe, I write depressing teen angst poetry when I get drunk. Then I put it in my lockable box and hide the key so no-one can see how low I actually managed to sink.

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 02:15 PM
No need to get choked up, Ick. It ended happily. It turned out that I just needed to fiddle with the settings.

~M.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 03:42 PM
I believe that I speak on behalf of Erisians everywhere where haiku about the golden assed monkey lord from exrossica 7 might just be acceptible, but since that is hard to fit intot he syllable scheme, it should be left alone...

Feral

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/7/2003 at 07:46 PM
Ye gods, all this talk of poetry and all makes me think of a horrid little piece I wrote for a drama/speech class in high school. We were supposed to pick out a bit of poetry and prose and recite it in front of the class. Showing off, I wrote my own. Someday, if I feel like being heckled to death, I may post my poor high-school attempts at writing here. Maybe. I did get an A out of it and accolades like I couldn't believe out of several teachers, but I still to this day think it's shit...

 

____________________

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/7/2003 at 04:21 PM
Hmmm...Well, I find if funny when everytime i come in there is always an issue with stupid people. Maybe the fact that I am gone creates a void where these people missing half a brain seem to get drawn into this page and post poems. nah......


But hello all! I will be transfering to a new job pretty soon and have a hell of alot more time on my hands so I will be able to post more. See ya.

-Mort

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 

Fanatic




Posts: 522
Registered: 6/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/7/2003 at 12:43 AM
MORTE! It's been TOO LONG!

heh, I wrote plenty of bad poetry back a few years.
"Why do I hurt?
I'm as blue as a smurf."

 

____________________
SRC="http://www.rpgclassics.com/shrines/snes/ff6/images/characters/kefka.gi
f"> size=1> but at least you know, just how much pain there is in living

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/7/2003 at 09:41 AM
*Poetry police* HEY! That doesn't rhyme! *hauls Alone off to jail*

 

____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 656
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/7/2003 at 11:14 AM
LMFAO.
 
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