I didn't know where to post this so I figure this is as good a place as
any. I need help.... I'm scared. Terrified even. I've been with the same
girl for almost 3 years now. This is her first serious relationship, and
both of ours first serious sexual relationship. We met in drivers
education when she was 15 and became very good friends and then didn't see
eachother for almost a year after I joined the military. Well one night
while I was at my first base attending my training school I got a call from
my brother telling me that Tracy had called looking for me. Come to find
out he had called her house looking for her, but when she got on the phone
all she talked about was me and ased how I was doing. So my wonderful
brother figuring he had no chance with her did the next best thing and
brought us together. I called her the next night and we spent hours on the
phone talking about the few memories we had together and both expressing
that we had a thing for eachother but that we were to blind to see the
other was interested. Anyways, after discussing the hardships of a long
distance relationship we both decided that we would give things a try and
hope they worked out for the best. And they have. I got to go home for 2
weeks during that christmas and another 2 weeks after I finished my
training school. between these first two visits we became very close, and
shared parts of ourselves with eachother that we had never shared before
both emotionaly and physically. This is where it all started. I've created
a monster. I have every mans dream and I don't know if I can handle it.
Honestly my girlfriend is a nymphomaniac.
Main Entry: nym·pho·ma·nia
Pronunciation: "nim(p)-f&-'mA-nE-&, -ny&
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from nymphae inner lips of the vulva (from Latin,
plural of nympha) + Late Latin mania mania
Date: 1775
: excessive sexual desire by a female
Its not like she's out sleeping with every guy in town. The only one she
wants is me. All day... every day... If I didn't HAVE to work or eat I
think she would keep me in bed 24/7 . I don't know if this is possible,
but do you think there is such a thing as too much sex ? I feel burnt out
physically and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up....
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 28/1/2003 at 07:49 PM
Consider yourself one of the luckiest men in the world....
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
Sticupus
Fanatic
Posts: 254 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 28/1/2003 at 08:36 PM
Shut up. Do push ups. Fuck pussy.
I thought that's what you straight guys were programmed to do. Stop
bitching about too much sex, or your alpha male military buddies will think
you're gay. You wouldn't want that would you? O_O
God damn. People complaining about perfectly good sex. That pisses me off.
____________________ The OBOLISK is Divine.
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 28/1/2003 at 08:48 PM
I had one guy back in high school...the guy I went to the prom
with...announce to our little group of friends that I was addicted to sex
and wouldn't leave him alone about it. All that accomplished was to make
his friends jealous and me think he was the only guy his age that didn't
like sex without having to beg for it.
I know it's probably frustrating that you've "created a monster" so to
speak, but seriously you should just look at it like "oh my god I must be
great" for her to want you that much. Cuz believe me, if you were a
disappointment to her, she'd go look elsewhere. So bottom line, just be
proud.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
I am SO just going to assume you were being sarcastic stic.
DO you feel that the sex has sort of eclipsed the part of the relationship
that you liked the most? The emotional aspect? I'd prolly be a little
bothered if michael said to me "less talky, more fucky", because well then
you feel like a proverbial glory hole and nothing more. She could either
just REALLY REALLY like sex, be using it to make herself feel better
(acceptance and all that lovely messed up woman garbage), or for other
reasons.
My suggestion is either talk with her about it, or get a mini fridge next
to the bed, a computer so you can work from bed, and one of those little
things with the adaptors for loooong car rides when you gotta pee.
Just be OH so careful, you think she's crazy now, just wait until those
"gimme it NOW" hormones kick in during the second trimester of pregnancy.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Geist
Member
Posts: 127 Registered: 5/11/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 28/1/2003 at 09:29 PM
I guess its kinda like you said Bettie. I feel like we've lost something
from our relationship. Any phone conversation that last more than 15 mins
turns into phone sex. lol. We've never even been able to go out to a movie
and finish the whole thing. I won't even begin to list the places we've
messed around at. *although it has led to some great stories to tell when
i'm drunk* And don't get me wrong Stic, I'm not complaining about sex. Its
more of the fact that I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep
her happy sexually.... and then what. I can't stand the thought of losing
her. The only thing in my life that makes me happy is seeing her happy. Oh
and as for your other comments Stic, what does my sexual preference have to
do with this ? I'm VERY open minded and willing to give anything a chance.
Blah. And at least one thing we agree about is the whole children thing.
Niether one of us wants children. EVER. Don't get me wtong I love children.
As long as they are not mine. You can spoil them and then send them home.
Monolycus
Fanatic
Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 28/1/2003 at 09:53 PM
Not to be a downer or anything, but I dated a nymphomaniac for a time and
it is NOT every man's dream. Nymphomania is a very self-destructive
mentality in which the woman (for guys it is Satyriasis) seeks sex to make
up for a damaged self esteem. Beyond the fact that it is annoying to be
woken up every twenty minutes ("What are you, some kind of protein
vampire??"), you have to deal with a larger package of issues than just the
symptom of sex. I don't suspect that is what is going on here.
I hope that everything works out for you, Geist, and this is probably a
natural development considering the fact that you have both only very
recently begun exploring the carnal... but I would recommend that you
reassure her that she can bring more to the table of your relationship than
just her body. Best of luck!
~Monolycus.
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 29/1/2003 at 12:09 AM
Okay so now I sorta feel like an asshole. I would have said to seek some
help for her if I'd thought it was truly nymphomania. I took it that you
were just getting a little more sex than you wanted, expected, or actually
needed. If it turns out that it really is nymphomania, then it's a really
serious issue, and can be horribly self-destructive. There are women who've
been found "lodged" on gear shifts, etc. because of their problem. I just
didn't take it as this being the case here.
I know there was a period of time that I was "pestering" my husband a
little more than he was able to deal with. I wasn't working very much at
the time, and he was working two jobs at the time. So I've since reasoned
it out that it was the quickest way to be very close to him very quickly. I
realized that our relationship was not based on sex, it was based on love,
and that sex was just a beautiful expression of that love...when there was
enough time and energy to actually do that.
I think I was influenced somewhat by movies, and talk shows to think that
guys just don't get anything from cuddling. I know better now of course.
Those guys who don't want to cuddle are not in love, and really are just in
a sexual relationship only. Maybe she is just feeling like I used to, that
if you are too tired then she's doing something wrong. Maybe just point out
to her that you still love her and want her and always want her, but that
sometimes you just don't have the time or the physical energy to go through
the whole thing. I know that once I realized that he actually wanted me
even though we weren't constantly nekked and humping, then that greatly
improved my ability to feel secure.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've
never
tried before." ~Mae West
VampCourt
Fanatic
Posts: 293 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 29/1/2003 at 12:14 AM
The best to do would be to discuss it with her. nuff said. and if she loves
you. then she will understand.
____________________ "Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments
Comedian
Fanatic
Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 29/1/2003 at 08:21 AM
I love the words "voracius appetite." It means that maybe, just maybe, the
girl can keep up with me.
____________________ Make way for the bad guy!
AloneSoul
Fanatic
Posts: 522 Registered: 6/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 29/1/2003 at 08:57 AM
This is defiantly something which needs to be discussed for everyman has
his limits. I agree with Court’s advice.
Okay, I'm a little confused on one part. Is this a long distance
relationship right now? Are you at home visitng and feeling a little burned
out on your vacation? Or are you both in one general locality?
If it is indeed still a long distance realtionship, and you are briefly
visiting, you might be able to write it off as cramming as much happy fun
time into a small window of oppurtunity. God knows, I do it all the
time.
If it isn't still a long distance relationship, then I will to echo Court's
advice, because it was exceedingly eloquent in it's simplicity. You need to
sit down and talk to her.
Another thing, do you maybe feel a little down because, due to the fact
that she is constantly trying to get more and more out of you, that you
aren't doing something right and satisfying her the first four times
around?
I hope things work out for both of you.
____________________ Okay, dazzle me.
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 31/1/2003 at 10:42 AM
Geist...you dog, why didn't I hear about this earlier! Sheez...
Is this the same girl? Man...I am missing too much.
My advice, bear down and get to work...or, what I do in the situation is
what the grrls are sayin'...have talk ya' know. I kinda' had a similiar
situation, although not as extreme...I explained it to her, and got a
really sweet and flattering answer...then, well...things went back to how
they were before, but I was happier.
Gesit...I am so having a drink to you tonight... mad props...now all you
need is a good bar-brawl and a beaver sidekick.
And really...honestly man...Nymphomania, and a few weeks of sexual
olympics are two very different things bro.
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/2/2003 at 12:56 AM
"Nymphomania is a very self-destructive mentality in which the woman (for
guys it is Satyriasis) seeks sex to make up for a damaged self esteem."
Um, how do you figure? I'm not saying that thats not a possible cause, just
that its not the only possible cause. Maybe her mom was a nymphomaniac and
she grew up thinking that spending ones spare time on ones back as much as
possible was normal. Maybe shes just a lot less inhibited and expresses
sexual interest alot more easily. Maybe she just really really likes sex.
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Geist
Member
Posts: 127 Registered: 5/11/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/2/2003 at 01:07 AM
WEll its not a long distance relationship any more. We've been in the same
location for about 13 months now. At first I things were fine, because we
had both been without each other for quite a while and had quite a bit of
built up "tension" . Thank you for the advice everyone... we'll see how
things go with the talk tonight. wish me luck.
Monolycus
Fanatic
Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/2/2003 at 05:50 PM
Alugarde, I said very clearly that I did not suspect that this was a case
of nymphomania. Nymphomania is an abnormal psychological condition and it
takes a clinician to diagnose it, not people talking on the internet. If
she's "...just a lot less inhibited and expresses sexual interest alot
(sic) more easily" or "...just really really likes sex", it is not a case
of nymphomania, it's just a woman who likes to have sex. If a person's
attention wanders, they do not suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder and
you do not suffer from dysentery every time you go to the bathroom. It
does not matter how frequently a person is having sex, it is their
motivation for seeking it that determines whether it is or is not a case of
nymphomania. Casual and careless use of terminology leads to hysterical
over-reactions, bad advice and does more harm than good.
(Another mental note made... time for this wolfie to seek new company)
Tschüs.
~Monolycus.
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/2/2003 at 10:13 PM
Ah, crap..didnt see that last line there..
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Closetgothbabe
Member
Posts: 189 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 4/2/2003 at 05:16 PM
Sounds like you got your hands full....LMAO
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 4/2/2003 at 09:21 PM
I think she will be fine if you talk to her and by her a vibrator. Let her
get some of that sexual tension out before she sees you, and maybe you can
spend more time talking and less time on your back. Of course, you could
get crazy and learn to discuss philosphy during sex, it's amazing the kind
of mental gymnastics one can be capable of during physical gymnastics.
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
Geist
Member
Posts: 127 Registered: 5/11/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 4/2/2003 at 09:37 PM
Already got the vibrator... tried that one. As for the talk things didn't
go quite as well as I hoped. She started crying about how I don't want her
any more... *sigh* things will get better.