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Author: Subject: who would you screw?

Member




Posts: 161
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 04:15 PM
my best friend all the way!!!

Monolycus in drag
or
Monolycus the lumberjack

and who would wear the dress and what would it look like?

 

____________________
Alot of people have good stories that take place at a lake with friends and boats and noodle salad just not anyone here

 

Member




Posts: 178
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 04:40 PM
Ohhh, glad you asked!

I'd do Monolycus the lumberjack cause I'd be the one wearing the dress - it would be a ballrom one, all black with lot's of lace, a leather corsette and PVC opera gloves.
But we'd both have to have make-up...

OK:
a) your TV host of choice in a bathtub full of jelly
b) your dead grandmother/father...

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 08:02 PM
Ummmm... I thought these were supposed to be the most disgusting scenarios we can think of. Oh. Oh. All right.
 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 08:11 PM
I'm going to go with Tom Bergeron, the host of America's Funniest Home Videos... and he would have to tape the entire segment to air on his show... in a bathtub full of black currant jam.

a.) The preserved corpse of Josef Stalin in the middle of Red Square, or

b.) The not-so-well preserved body of Ronald Reagan while he yells "Tear down this wall!" every thirty seconds...?

And which flavour of cake would be served afterwards?

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 12/10/2002 at 08:40 PM
Oh God save us all! That is just too disgusting for any person to even think of...but if I had to choose it would be Stalin...if he is well preserved...besides he wouldn't be talking about ignorant alzheimer man stuff the whole time...ugh!

Okay now how about:

A. Your highschool principal dressed in a pvc dominatrix suit over the school's PA system

or

B. The really disgusting clerk at your local grocery store that has two teeth and picks his bum then his nose then bites his cuticles all in one minute

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/10/2002 at 12:44 AM
I'd have to go with my principal, he wasn't a bad looking guy. At least he had all his teeth...

Monolycus is right, I was starting light but its past time to up things a little.

Who would you screw?
A) Bill Clinton in a much too small thorn-covered Barney suit soaked in pickle juice and insisting you shove a wing of chicken up his ass and feed it to him in a vat of vaseline.
B) Your great great grandfather in a tutu covered in nuclear waste who likes to shove his old smelly boot up your ass, and afterwards you discover his boot is stuck up your ass.

And which member of the village people would you be dressed as?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/10/2002 at 05:34 AM
As much as I can't stand Barney...I'd have to go with Bill Clinton in a Barney Suit...oh I suppose the Construction Worker could watch...

Who Would you rather screw?
A)Oprah Winfrey...while she pulled pretzel sticks out of her ass and then fed them to you..still covered with a little of her ass yum yums
B)Darth Vader...but not with his man-thing...he'd be using his light saber to set your holes ablaze with his lovin'

Which newscaster would you have announcing the play by play action?

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 13/10/2002 at 06:26 AM
Who would yoo rather have giving it to yoo from behind?

(A)someone with an advanced stage of leporasy who is quite literally falling apart and hung like a rhino

or

(B)a hardcore tweaker who is bleeding and dripping semi-chunky snot out of every oriface, ALSO hung like a rhino

and would rather use wasabi or rock salt as lube?

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/10/2002 at 12:44 PM
Well, I guess I'd end up having a threesome with Darth Vader and the tweaker.....I just hope they don't get their schwartzes tangled when they're both trying to give it to me. And Dan Rathers would be announcing all the wasabi-lubed action.

Who would you screw?
A)The entire US Congress gang banging you inside your mothers womb while pouring molten steel over you, which solidifies and encases all but your eyes, nose, and genitals afterwards so the Congress can dress you up and turn you into their rent-a-bitch.
B) Mr. Burns in a dominatrix outfit tieing you to a nuclear reactor while Smithers squeezes assorted tubes of snot, badger semen, and bile on you for lubrication and Homer gets drunk off his ass wearing a grass skirt and decides to join in.

And type of insect would SOMEHOW end up having its eggs laid inside you?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Coward




Posts: 10
Registered: 23/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 29/10/2002 at 01:58 PM
Congress!!!!! Afterwards they can teach me about campaign finance reform. I never understood that. Oooooh and a chicada, those 16 year type ones, so i wouldnt have to worry about it for a while.

Ok an Aids infested chicken while on fire, or your mom, in a vat of shit, screaming out "thats mommies little boy, Thats mommies little boy!"

enjoy.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/10/2002 at 10:30 AM
Definitley the aids infested chicken that is on fire. I have a chance of surviving that, even if I contract the disease I could still live for a while longer, but with my mom, definitley have to go and kill myself. How horrid is that?!

Okay, a large fat man covered in spiders and guano that is screaming out, "Get it, get it little one before I roll on top of you and crush you!" or Brittany Spears drenched in cow saliva and cum while singing Hit Me Baby One More Time?

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 17
Registered: 29/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/10/2002 at 11:25 AM
alright, I'm gonna have to go with britany here, first because I'm a skinny guy and the fat guy might break me, plus, if I do britany I'd have a chance to do the "zombie" and damn, I need too

alright, lt dan from forest gump, after a week out on the fishing boat in a bed of half rotted tuna
or
ricky martin, after a long bout with leperacy which reduced him to a half rotted husk

 

____________________
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/10/2002 at 11:42 AM
The rotted disease ridden husk of Ricky Martin without a doubt, I've always wanted leprosy and Military men are such "sniff" ungiving lovers...

Alrighty,
A: An Oompa Loompa with an unusual orange anal discharge
B: A pop-goth...

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/10/2002 at 12:56 PM
By pop-goth do you mean those "goths" that are brought up from the main stream culture, if so, then I'd do them, I mean, those chick in orgy are just damn hot...

If you mean something else, then the oompa loompa, I hear that they squeal funny when you do it right.

who would you do
Large Marge from PeeWee's big Adventure while doing the scary face in the cab of her big smelly truck
or
Pee Wee, and the secret flavor is, *whispers* "Horse Ejaculate", and you all know what to do when you tast the secret flavor...

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Fanatic




Posts: 246
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/1/2004 at 08:05 AM
definately Large Marge, I don't think I could deal with the child hood drama of Pee wee, Besides, he's probably too small.

Now next scenerio.

a.) Johnny 5 from the 1980s film Short Circuit 2 after he had gone psycho and leaking battery fluid everywhere and ready to chop some people into little bits ... or

b.) Your overweight Redneck brother stinking of beer, cat piss, and vomit, while humping the seat cusion emmulating the sounds of a cow with only 2 teeth in his entire head.

Which doll would you have watching from the redneck barbie series?

 

____________________
When the world is over, will we wonder how it began?

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 648
Registered: 24/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/1/2004 at 10:51 AM
Okay, I would fuck Johnny 5. At least I would get to die afterwards. Redneck Barbie Series?

 

____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't />
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is
the

experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/4/2004 at 05:54 AM
Sorry, but I just had to resurect this forum.

Would yoo rather:

give head to an enormous Brazilian centipede made entirely out of cat turd

OR

be dominated by a dozen ebola-infected midgits?

and which brand of wine would yoo have it/them lick out of yor ass-crack?

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/4/2004 at 02:17 PM
The enormous Brazilian centipede...cat turd must taste okay...I mean dogs eat them.

The wine...nothing too fancy...Blue Nun will be good enough to keep the centipede occupied so it doesn't bite me.








Would you rather:

(a)Have your pecker in a hornet's nest while Mike Tyson gives you a good reaming from behind?

or

(b)A threesome with Mr. & Mrs. Bush?


What casino game should be played in the background?

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West




 

Moderator




Posts: 37
Registered: 1/8/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/4/2004 at 11:23 PM
Threesome with the Bushes definitely. Fucking people of opposing political ideologies is hot hot hot! And I have to say, Laura fills out a pantsuit nicely. Wait... unles you meant the elder Bushes.... but still... beats Tyson and the hornet's nest. Plus, I've always found the sound of a spinning roulette wheel erotic.

So, do you fuck:

a) Yoda

or

b) E.T.

 

Member




Posts: 119
Registered: 4/4/2004
Status: Offline

  posted on 25/4/2004 at 11:46 PM
yoda, i mean come on, did you SEE how that little guy could move!!!

ok, let me think....

peter pan with the lots boys watching and tinkerbell as a bondage mistress

or

ur patner/randome person (if u have no patner) in the middle of the city you live closest to, in the middle of a work day

(i know these are not exactelly gross, but hay, i am so tiard, its all i can come up with)



 

____________________
I know whats it like to want to die, how it hurts to smile, how you try to fit in but you can't, how you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the pain in the inside.

 
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