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Author: Subject: who would you screw?

Member





Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/9/2002 at 06:26 PM
Right, so heres the game. You think of two scenarios and the next person says who theyd rather screw. But this isnt the normal version of the game. This is the version where you try to think of the most disgusting scenarios possible. Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. And feel free to add extra conditions such as "with the flag of what country?", "with which dead president watching?", or "in what ocean with what form of marine life chewing on you?"

I dont know how well this will work, since I dont expect anyone to actually want to make a choice, but when you do make a choice you get to make the next person make a choice. I guess Ill find out soon enough. That said, its time for me to provide the first scenario. Ill start a little light.

Who would you screw?
a) Richard Simmons in a clown suit tieing you up or
b) Three drunken midget of whichever gender you prefer least who havent bathed in several months and smell of feces.

And with the flag of what country?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 213
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/9/2002 at 06:45 PM
Richard Simmons, with the good old Hammer & Sickle.

Who would you rather screw?
A) Rosie O with her on top,
B) The tin-man, the lion and the scarecrow whom all have latex fetishes?

and with what flag?

 

____________________
Make way for the bad guy!

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 17
Registered: 29/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/10/2002 at 01:06 PM
phew, tough one, see, Im alergic to hay, so my first instinct would be to say rosie O ::shudders:: but with the latex fetish thrown in maybe I wouldnt get poked by nasty hay bits. . . hmmm. . . Ill have to say rosie O with a gay pride flag (that would be appropriately degrading *g*)
alright, given the choice would you:
get gangbanged by the top 3 boy bands or
have some sweet lovin with our own GW

and I guess what flag ::shrugs::

 

____________________
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch

 

Member




Posts: 161
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/10/2002 at 01:18 PM
GW....... he looks like the kind of man who has a foot un the ass fetish .......

The Bat orgy above Devins bed
or
Martha Stewart with gentail warts and a anal fisting fetish :-?

 

____________________
Alot of people have good stories that take place at a lake with friends and boats and noodle salad just not anyone here

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/10/2002 at 01:46 PM
bat orgy....at least when the encounter is over i can poke out my minds eye...with martha stewart id have a constant reminder of what happened

Who would you screw?
a)A giant robotic gorilla thats starting to rust
b)A thorn bush that someone puked in.

And what sort of fantasy wear would the robot be wearing/be placed on top of the bush?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 1/10/2002 at 07:52 PM
I would choose the Robot Gorilla, and it would have to be wearing the outfit the "Lord of the Dance" would wear...ohhhh yeaaaa

Who would you screw:
Loreana Bobbitt with a knife, or
Oprah in 1986 wearing pasties and electrical tape?

now with what kind of tool that you can find in a garage?

:-D :-D

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 17
Registered: 29/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 08:32 AM
alright, Loreana Bobbitt with the knife and Id grab a . . . ::thinks:: . . . well, my brother has this bad ass hatchet/crowbar/hammer/nail puller all in one, Id grab that, then we could have some crazy red sonja/connan sex where wed battle until we were both worn out, do the deed then Id bolt like a rabbit outta there

a) brittney spears in 30 years when she has flabby flesh and pert plastic so she looks like a half melted wax statue and well have her in that school girl outfit thang . . . or
b) the fat boys (the old old old rap group) in a kiddie pool (obviously an oversized kiddie pool) of mud

and what kind of produce would you involve in such a senario

 

____________________
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch

That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch

 

Coward




Posts: 1
Registered: 2/10/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 09:16 AM
Britney Spears.. definitely. And there would have to be plenty of artichokes involved. Just so I could hear that bitch scream "hit me baby one more time" <wink>

Ok:

1. Gary Coleman and Kid Rocks sidekick Joe C after swimming in the sewer under a frat house (nobody said these had to be living!)

or

2. Roseanne Barr while she eats a bag of pork rinds and slathers chicken fat all over her body

And what kind of music would set the tone? :roll:

 

____________________
no food in the house, but do you wanna see my new pocket pc?!

 

Occasional Poster




Posts: 17
Registered: 29/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 09:38 AM
gotta go with roseanne, more cushin for the pushin as they say and damn, maybe Id learn that chicken fat is better than astroglide ;D
as for the music. . . damn, thats a tough one, maybe too dark park, no reason other than I like it though *g*

a) the toxic avenger with oozing sores
or
b) Ron Jermey done up elvis style like in the boondock saints talkin dirty like he does in his death scene

and what kind of sex toys would you involve

 

____________________
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch


That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch

 

Fanatic




Posts: 580
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 01:00 PM
Im going with old Ron here so that I could sell the video to the tabloids afterwards saying that I made it with bigfoot. And I would incorporate the famous rabbit-pearl vibrator... for those who cant decide between watching cartoons, playing marbles or having a wank. Would you rather:

a.) get busy with Dr. Ruth Westheimer in crotchless panties (on both of you), or
b.) have proctological foreplay with the orca who starred in the Free Willy movies in a wastewater treatment facility?

...and at which fast food (sic) establishment would you go to afterwards?

 

____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 04:41 PM
Im going with the Orca, having a sexual escapade with a Killer Whale in vat of sludge...thats romance...and after the night of inter-mammal intercourse, i would take that silly Orca to Jack in the Box and get the SourDough Jack Burger...oh god..im drooling....

Who would screw:
65 year old paper then Dominatrix with a leather clad jump suit and whips covered in Bull Semen

OR

Heather Locklear in 35 years (remember, she is already over 40)


;-)

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 06:08 PM
Ill have to go with the fine miss Locklear. Im sure that shell still be hot in 35 years, and if not, Ill just tape an old magazine cover over her face and wear nose plugs to keep the old woman smell away.

Step in to the way back machine and go back about fifteen years

A) The male cast of full house all in leather G-strings

B) The female cast of Full House (yes, both twins) in a large vat of creamed corn

and Comet the dog, fanciful foreplay, or to lick you clean afterwards??

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/10/2002 at 06:20 PM
Id have to go with the male cast. Best to avoid pedophilia. And comet would lick me clean.

Who would you screw?
a)A mop bucket full of the most stagnant water youve ever seen. The water looks like it has been sitting their for several years, theres a layer of SOMETHING floating on top of the water, theres a pile of year old banana peals at the bottom of the water, and the mop is covered in some sort of slime that burns when you touch it with maggots crawling through the slime.
b)A giant centipede that just ate a bucket of grease and insists on shoving its tongue down your throat

And with what member of the Clinton family watching?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/10/2002 at 02:43 AM
Im gonna have to go with the bucket (feel them maggots squirm!) Besides, I hate pedes. Oh, and Id have to go with Hillary watching, after being married to Bill, I doubt she finds anything shocking and (unlike her husband) probably wouldnt be tempted to join in. (just make sure its not in NY, otherwise shed probably have mee killed)

I know Ive used this one many times before on the website but its so simple its just too good:

Who would yoo rather fuck, yor mom or yor dad?

 

____________________

i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to die so i could watch, and then me die.

-ickgirl

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/10/2002 at 03:52 PM
Fuck i didnt wanna get this one..

I guess i would choose my dad, he is my best friend and at least we could laugh about it later. (shivers)

Who would you screw:
Col. Sanders covered in mud or
Chris Farley dressed as the "Lunch Lady" wearing the Chipindales uniform.

and what Beatle would you have there greaseing you up?

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 

Fanatic




Posts: 213
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/10/2002 at 07:48 PM
Oaugh god creeping shit, man.

Lets go with the colonel covered in mud, and with Ringo in his "Shining Time Station" outfit greasing me up.

Alvin, Simon, or Theodore?

And which of those female chipmunk girls is on the other side rubbing gopher shit all over your body?

 

____________________
Make way for the bad guy!

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 658
Registered: 27/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/10/2002 at 10:55 PM
Okay, the trick to playing this game is to figure out whos name yood rather (or rather not) call out. For example to answer my own question (because thats the one Im accustomed to explaining) I would choose my dad.

The reason is because Id have alot of trouble saying "Oh, Mom! Oh yeah, Mom!" Whereas on the other hand Id enjoy calling out "Come on, daddy! Squeel for mee! Squeel like a pig, daddy! Yoo may be my daddy but whos yor daddy?" and so on.

 

____________________


i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.




-ickgirl

 

Coward




Posts: 10
Registered: 23/8/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 10/10/2002 at 09:27 AM
Yeah whatever. I'd definately do Alvin, hes probably freaky in bed. and whichever ones is the nirdy chick, with the glasses, shes definately freaky. its always the shy ones, i swear to god. so yeah. here goes my little scenario.

Getting done in all orifices buy 5 Fat bikers, clad with massive,(im talkind cucumber sized) packages, who are covered in there own feces. or

Going down on a your grandmother, who has genital warts, and likes to pee on people while she gets oral. (if you understand that you cant get the wart. there just there for effect, not a lifetime horror type thing.)

have fun.....

 

Member




Posts: 185
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 08:07 AM
Bikers....*looks up at the explanations most people are giving with their answers, cant seem to put one into words, just...yea...*

Who would you screw?
A) A serated metal spike that vibrates
B) One of them things from Japanese tentacle porn

And what substance not intended for use as lubrication would you use for lubrication?

 

____________________
l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/10/2002 at 09:19 AM
The tentacle thing, definitely... While it is emotionally disturbing, and may be made into a hentai movie, its a lot better than sharp things ripping everything to shreds...

And I'd probably watch that hentai movie when it was made, too... *shrugs*

Hmmm...
Which would you rather screw...
Your best friend,
or your worst enemy?

(This can be a happy dillema or a bad dillema depending on how you view them...)

 

____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!

 
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