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posted on 22/6/2002 at 05:37 PM |
Read this once before a very VERY long time ago... here is My version of
things.
How would Superman be able to have his race continue? Now We all know that
superman has exceptional strength don’t we? We know they he had this
squeeze Lois Lane (will use LL for short)
Now. Superman wanting to have a little kiddy of his own has some serious
obstacles he needs to overcome. Now...suppose LL agrees to this...and they
do end up fucking We all know SM (superman) is known to bend metal at
will... and an orgasm resembles a mild pleasurable epileptic attack just
imagine what he would do to LL during an orgasm. Not to mention the
velocity his semen would eject from his cock! He might just blow the top of
her head right off. During this orgasm, he would need to show EXTREME
control, because also, during orgasm, the man has an instinct to go for
more deeper penetration imagine if you will...superman during his orgasm,
unable to control himself...Mmm? He would gut her from vagina to nasal
cavity. Ok ok ok..suppose he was able to launch his tiny missiles...without
blowing the top of her head off....those tiny little superstrength sperm
need to hunt for the ovum..but..they arent no ordinary sperm..they will
HUNT..and when they find that ovum it would be like some giant gang
rape..totally annihilating the ovum. *sighs* so this aint right...ok
ok..suppose the ovum gets fertilized then baby starts growing..but this is
SM´s kid....what the hell will happen when this baby starts Kicking??????
it would tear up her insides! Ok so we use kryptonite..right?But too much
would kill the baby and too little would kill LL Ok..then there is
supergirl But incest would look real bad on his rapor...and plus..she would
get kicked out of school. He is a role model for kids....they think..hey SM
fucks his sister..so can I! ok...so what to do? Shit..we are in modern age
right??? we would probably find a way to impregnate Superman himself!
Ok...so...first we need to get his sperm.... asking SM to jerk off on earth
would be hard anyways..same as before..the velocity of the sperm hitting
the air around him would either A: disintegrate immediately ..ORRRRRR there
would be tiny sperms finding their way to female Ovums everywhere causing
an Epidemic to those not on the pill if the pill works against superhuman
sperm so. to find a spot..the moon perhaps....its quiet, he can do it in
private..then fly frantically after his jism then its a matter of science
to impregnate him..*thinking of Arnold Shwartznegger and danny devito in
Twins* he would need to shrug off the taunting and shit..but the race would
be saved
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MorteAscendo
Member   Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/6/2002 at 06:07 PM |
| Someone has watched "MallRats" to many times. :lol: ____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
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Unregistered
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posted on 22/6/2002 at 06:19 PM |
Actually..Ive never seen it
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MorteAscendo
Member Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/6/2002 at 11:26 PM |
That kind of odd that you would quote a movie, or come up with the same
idea from one of the best Kevin Smith Films.....now that is Tradgic.  ____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
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MorteAscendo
Member Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/6/2002 at 11:26 PM |
| That kind of odd that you would quote a movie, or come up with the same
idea from one of the best Kevin Smith Films.....now that is Tradgic. ____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
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Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/6/2002 at 07:51 AM |
Damn...I wish I was superman...
Being Aquaman just sucks... :lol: ____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
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Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/6/2002 at 12:43 PM |
Who says Superman even has human-style sex? What if his race merely touches
elbow with another person and -boom- there´s an egg in eachother´s armpits?
So that fateful night, Superman would be acting like an idiot, touching
elbows, while Lois wonders what he´s doing. Then the pants come off, and
she´s shocked, since she thinks he´s a enuch. He´s wondering why there´s a
hole between her legs.
Lois likes the idea that he´s a enuch, and puts a little collar around his
neck and keeps him as her personal servant for the rest of her life.
Don´t you just love these sort of conversations?
____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!
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Unregistered
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posted on 23/6/2002 at 05:18 PM |
| Honest truth. Ive never seen the film, Ive read something like this over 9
years ago in a penthouse comix. First issue hence the allias hericane. I
tried as hell the remember how it went, but couldnt for the life of Me
could do verbatim. I found it very insightfull tho *smirks*. One of My
favourite stories, that an the mating habbits of the bonobo. ____________________
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic   Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/6/2002 at 06:58 AM |
| I heard this on the radio one time before the movie came out also. It´s
actually quite old. ____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
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Beast
Occasional Poster   Posts: 43 Registered: 19/6/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 8/7/2002 at 08:04 AM |
| What is keeping scientist from making superman a test tube baby :-D ____________________
In the heart of every warrior there is a mouse
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Monolycus
Fanatic  Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 8/7/2002 at 07:07 PM |
| Sadly, I have neither seen Mallrats and had also heard this one years and
years ago. I told my dad to stay the hell out of my comics afterwards. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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darkness_of_shadows
Occasional Poster  Posts: 49 Registered: 9/6/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 9/7/2002 at 02:12 PM |
haha your dad came up with that one?
woah..
dont wanna know how THAT one went..
i would think that they would do the test tube thing.. and find aREAL good
serogate mother (sp sorry)
anyways i really dont want to think about sm having sex right now.. no...
no i dont.. ____________________
if you want idiocy you've come to the right place
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 9/7/2002 at 05:00 PM |
I´m not sure why anyone thinks that Kryptonians and Homo sapiens would even
be capable of viable reproduction in the first place. How many chromosomes
does an alien being from Krypton have anyway? I am pretty sure that
Kryptonians must sexually reproduce (as opposed to budding or giving off
spores) because they are obviously sexually dimorphic (hence, Supergirl),
but they are an entirely different species no matter how many physical
similarities they coincidentally have with humans.
For the record, I could not have said the above in any other voice than the
overweight comic-book geek from the Simpsons. This entire topic makes me
want to throw together a handmade costume and go to a science fiction
convention where I can guarantee that I will never get the opportunity to
reproduce with anyone from any planet. ____________________
"I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
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VampCourt
Fanatic  Posts: 293 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/7/2002 at 10:47 AM |
reading the first paragraph.. it really does sound like he watched mallrats
over and over and then wrote the paragraph. But anyways.. thats one of the
funniest of kevins flicks.  ____________________
"Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the
devil, for thou art scarey and mean." -The Goth commandments
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Anonymous
 Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 23/9/2002 at 03:27 AM |
i´ve been perusing the site for some months and after reading this I
figured I´d post an answer . Going beyond genetics . In the comic books
there is a type of Kryptonite that simply removes the powers of kryptonians
when in there presence . In an elseworlds edition , Superman wore a
necklace of this when consumating marriage with LL . And during the
pregnancy LL had to wear it as well to protect from the fetus accidently
harming her .
yeah I read way to many comic books . :roll: ____________________
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Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/10/2005 at 06:24 PM |
quote:
I´m not sure why anyone
thinks that Kryptonians and Homo sapiens would even be capable of viable
reproduction in the first place. How many chromosomes does an alien being
from Krypton have anyway? I am pretty sure that Kryptonians must sexually
reproduce (as opposed to budding or giving off spores) because they are
obviously sexually dimorphic (hence, Supergirl), but they are an entirely
different species no matter how many physical similarities they
coincidentally have with humans.
For the record, I could not have said the above in any other voice than the
overweight comic-book geek from the Simpsons. This entire topic makes me
want to throw together a handmade costume and go to a science fiction
convention where I can guarantee that I will never get the opportunity to
reproduce with anyone from any planet.
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