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Author: Subject: Fashion Designers

Fanatic





Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/11/2006 at 11:50 AM
It should first be noted that I'm not gay.

Not that theres anything wrong with it, but it isn't for me.

That being said, this all started when I asked my girlfriend to wear something sexy. She promptly told me to stop being so horny. I then asked her if I made her something sexy to wear, if she would actually wear it. To this she said yes, she would, as long as it wasn't ugly. She then promptly told me that I would at that point be rather gay, because, as we all know, people who design clothing are either over tanned old women or flamboyantly gay men. I told her that this was not the case, as I was designing lingerie to be worn by a woman in prelude to my doing her.

She still told me it was gay. She also told me that she expected me to just bundle up the fabrick and wrap it in duct tape and tell her that I sewed it up. Little does she know that I can sew. And by that, I mean manly sewing, like when a soldier get's his arm blown off and sews it and the merit badge that he got for lumberjacking back on with his teeth on the battle field while killing nazi's with his other good hand...

Anyways, this leads me to the next day when I am in Wal-Mart looking for shiny pink silky fabric, and guns. I really felt a need to buy a big shotgun that day...

A big shotgun, and some pink thread...

Now I have to work up the blue prints (not patterns, I will sew using manly blue prints like those that helped erect the empire state building) and sew the thing up...

If this works, and she wears it, and subsequently I get some, I may wind up sewing a lot more, and maybe getting a big manly truck. With a lift kit, and big mud tires...

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. Does that make me a bad person?

 
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Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/11/2006 at 01:07 PM
I think guys who can sew are sexy. Damned if I would complain if I had a guy to sew sexy garments for me... I can't sew AT ALL. I damned near flunked home ec. when I was in middle school because of my deplorable lack of sewing skills. I'm a girl, and every time I get near a sewing machine, I break it. This does not mean that I am a failure as a woman or that I am unfeminine. It means that I cannot sew.

Because you know how to sew does not mean you are gay, or unmanly. It means you have a valuable skill. You don't need all the redneck manly accoutrements to offset this. There is nothing wrong with having a penis and knowing your way around a sewing machine.


Excuse me now, I have to go kill dinner. With my big, manly machete.

 

____________________

 

Member




Posts: 96
Registered: 29/7/2003
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/11/2006 at 01:59 PM
I agree with everything Meranda said... and I laughed out loud at all the mention of manly accoutrements in both posts.


I can sew buttons onto things. I am pretty good at cross-stitch, too. Different though, I know.

 

____________________
"I've told you before, I don't comprehend religion, although conviction is a concept I'm beginning to get. In any case, a person with a real religious conviction is, I propose, a religious convict, and deserves locking up."

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/11/2006 at 05:50 PM
Two things...firstly, never EVER use the word penis and sewing machine in the same sentence, no matter the context. Gah.

secondly, yeah sewing and all that stuff doesn't inherently turn you gay, you need to explain to your gf that the only possible way you can become gay is by being exposed to the gays, and thus falling into their gay radiation circle...once irradiated you may attempt to fight it off, but eventually you'll go clay aiken. Other possible ways to get the gay are by drinking from the same soda, accidentally looking at a gays rear end and not going to church.

I can sew, I can even do that sew a guys arm back on thing, though it doesn't really work too well, and as a prank we once narc'ed a guy up and sewed his butt crack up like a football, in retrospect that MIGHT have been a little gay, regardless it was fucking hilarious.

I also suggest when you get that truck, get the mudflaps that have nekked chicks on em, thats a sure fire de-gayifier roight thar.

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 618
Registered: 27/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 2/11/2006 at 08:50 PM
I have now laughed myself into a state in which I have just wet my pants a little.

I remember that I did once know how to sew, although I haven't done it in years...other than the odd mending or sewing on of a button. If I do still have a sewing machine anywhere, it must be off gathering dust in a hidden corner. Perhaps Meranda can machete her way through my spare room and find it for me.

 

____________________
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." ~Mae West


 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/11/2006 at 02:54 AM
Oh man. Okay, as a seamstress myself I must say Xaowolf, you are going to have to measure your girlfriend. Because what you don't want to do is make a nice slinky pink garment out of the fabric you made and then find out that the bust is big enough for two basketballs put together and that the waist is made for a barbie doll. Trust me it happens.

I will mention that sewing is not gay, but it is very dyke. Extremely dyke. There is no faster way to undress a girl then by inviting her over to your apartment where the sewing machine is set up and offering to make some clothes. "Sure" she says "Take of your shirt" I say. Fantastic. Aside from that you get the fun of measuring your naked girlfriend for this outfit, which is very mainly. Nothing like putting a tape measure around boobs to separate the men from the gays. This is one of the reasons why so many models are stick thin. What self respecting queer designer wants to have to measure a naked boobie, see. Very masculine that is. FYI do not ever reveal said measurements to your gf, or if you must subtract at least six inches. This is not, I repeat, this is not like measuring the penis, bigger is not better!

Okay, other then the measurements and the modeling which are both very masculine you also have the stitching. Come on putting that long thing piercing needle in and out and in out of out of that slinky soft opening pink fabric. What could be more male empowering then that, really?

No, my friend you are on to a fantastically masculine new trend. And as such, I am completely against it. While I would argue that sewing could certainly be very het, as it might reduce the number of straight girls I get to see naked I am totally against it. Unless of course you'd like some help sewing for you girlfriend, I can give you all kinds of pointers.

rambling rambling....

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Fanatic




Posts: 233
Registered: 11/7/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/11/2006 at 04:21 AM
Sewing something sexy especially for your girlfriend is one of the most heterosexual things you could do for her.

She probably just said that so that you wouldn't do it because she is such a woman that she doesn't like your manly fashion sense, simply because it is too manly. So really she is just afraid of your manlyness.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 3/11/2006 at 07:48 AM
I think you're on to something with her not liking my manly fashion sense gothicmorman, she's all like, "and if you want me to wear it more than once, it better not be crotchless."

I mean, come on...

Who doesn't like crotchless?

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?

 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/11/2006 at 12:04 PM
Brilliant thread! *laughs*

I think sewing is only girly when you're sewing ruffles onto something. Or your fabric is pink, and has twee little flowers or birdies on it. Sewing sexy lingerie for your girlfriend is possibly the manliest thing I could think of to sew. Except perhaps for a football shirt, or something like that.

I can kinda sew. I can sort out the hems on my clothes, and take them in a bit if they're too big. And I made a top once. But it wasn't fitted - just a vest top kinda thing. It's not too hard once you've got your 'blue prints' figured out.

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/11/2006 at 03:41 PM
Okay, so I'm curious, how is that the sewing of the pretty in pink frilly outfit coming along. I mean, the uh, mainly sewing of the sexy very hetro love gear meant to be worn for only five seconds before it is torn off in a fit of rage and lust. Either way. And are we perverts going to get pictures of this thing? Ooooohh...you could wear it an model it for us. That would rock!

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/11/2006 at 06:46 PM
sooo...anyone willing to help me with a project? I cannot sew...I tried and tried, but I jsut make a mess...and the feral wants a Zoot suit

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.

Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/11/2006 at 09:42 PM
Wow, that would give all kinds of new meaning to "Zoot Suit Riot" seriously.

I would help, but I think the distance might be a problem. I'd really need measurements to do it properly and since I don't usually sew for boys I might be out o luck on it.

However, since Xaoswolf has taken up the namby pamby art (stick out tongue at Xao) maybe he could do it.

However, you should be able to find a tailor in the states who can do it for a not unreasonable price...maybe....

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/11/2006 at 10:39 PM
grins* OOOORRRR>..I could find a tailor to measure me accurately... AND THEN>... I could have my KOREAN Zoot Suit

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.



Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 

Fanatic




Posts: 470
Registered: 23/9/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 15/11/2006 at 09:28 PM
Yeah, well you could do that, but I always look forward to measuring the in-seam. Doesn't seem quite hardly the same.

 

____________________
It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1810
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/11/2006 at 02:38 AM
*grins* welll.. next time you visit home....you can inspect it personally

 

____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.





Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist

 
 


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