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Articles: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
Posted by Schizo on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 02:59 PM PST

This Website
Once again, I take keyboard in hand in my attempt to help uplift and cultivate this wonderful web community. Last time, I focused on healing established but disruptive plants - this time I intend to deal with the introduction of new members to the community.

Joining Shmeng can be a ticklish business. We who have been here for some time are used to seeing floods of trolls and idiots rampaging all across the site. It can tend to make us touchy and suspicious of newcomers. However, we really are eager to see each new seed turn into a beautiful and valuable plant, rather than a poisonous or choking vine, or even just common crabgrass, taking up space and contributing nothing.

I am actually going to break away from the garden analogy for a while, because of late, I have had a picture in my mind of the community of Shmeng, and what happens when a Newbi arrives. This was born in my brain from watching the interaction of two of our most recent Newbis with the rest of the community.

Shmeng is like a club... a club with an open door, but a door that swings both ways. Inside is the noise and bustle of people in conversation, debate, even occasionally dispute... people enjoying themselves in various manners - partying, brawling, dancing, flirting... just all-in-all having a good time communing with each other however the fancy takes them.

From the outside, the bustle and comraderie within looks inviting. Some overhear conversations that sound stimulating to them, others sense the alternative aura that is often mistaken for a goth establishment, and others are just looking for any place where they can hang out among other people. The door is open - there seems to be nothing stopping one from entering, so in traipses the unsuspecting Newbi.

Some Newbis enter quietly, and hang around the edges of the action, assessing their surroundings, learning about the people inside, and how things flow before jumping in and participating. Honestly, this is the wisest course of action. Many of the people in Club Shmeng are extremely private people, and are wary of strangers. Seeing that said Newbi has the courtesy to be sensitive to its environment says a lot in that Newbi's favor. Many of our dearest and most treasured members started that way.

Other Newbis jump right into the action. Occasionally, this happens without issue, mainly because this Newbi just happens to have that mysterious thing called "vibe" (look it up, sweetie) that causes it to have almost instant kinship with the rest of the community. This is a rare occurance. Most Newbis are not capable of acheiving this instant unity. It's just not in them.

Some Newbis blunder in, looking for a fight. When this happens, they find a solidarity of intelligent, blood-lusty people who join together and fight like brothers with a sort of unholy glee... honestly, we kind of enjoy this whole process, and eventually the troublemaker is tossed out on its ear in an ignoble heap. Several of us attained our positions in Club Shmeng for the sheer beauty of our troll-stomping prowess. Let this be a warning...

Still other Newbis come into the Club, blundering blindly, unaware that they are not in just another empty-headed dance bar. They mindlessly giggle, and spread vapid noise, stuff that you are almost forced to read with a valley-girl accent. Also along the same line are those that assume that they are in a goth club... they order Absinthe, and speak dolefully of vampires and darkness, tears streaking their heavy black eyeliner... and then they get pissy when we don't cry along with them, or listen to their poetry... at which point they reach back, give their panties of doom a quick twist, and declare us "not real goths" and storm away to go gloom-and-doom elsewhere. These Newbis are also almost welcomed... briefly... as a distraction from heavier topics... they are generally soundly laughed at until they leave, at which case they are completely forgotten, as the community goes back to their original occupations.

However, there are Newbis that do not fit into any of these categories. These are the betwixt-and-betweeners... people who may have potential... they have perhaps blundered at first... but the verdict is still to be reached. There are many in Club Shmeng who have been here for years who are still betwixt-and-betweeners.

I have noticed a sort of pattern when this sort enters the doors of Shmeng. Allow me to indulge in illustration... just for a little while, pretend you are our new friend the Newbi, walking into the greatroom of Club Shmeng for the first time...

As you walk into the club from the street, it takes a few moments to figure out what is going on around you. You walk tentatively over to the bar, order a drink, take a sip, and then make an off-handed (and unwittingly and ignorantly offensive) comment to the person sitting next to you... unfortunately, this comment happens to fall into a silence in the room...

You feel a presence just outside your range of vision, so you look over your shoulder... and then up... and up... and up...

You have just met Feral... the ragin' Cajun giant, resident troll-stomper and official bouncer of Club Shmeng.

He emits a low growl from his enormous chest... somehow makes himself seem even bigger and more imposing... and speaks in a low, almost gentle voice, that somehow is clearly audible to the entire room.

"Give me one reason why I should not throw you out on the street right now," he says.

Depending on your innate courage, you either start to tremble, or you pull yourself together, desperately defensive...

"I am sorry... I did not mean to offend... please give me another chance," you ask. You like the looks of this club, and you are dismayed that you seem to have angered the inhabitants so quickly.

The giant just looks at you... no... rather, he looks THROUGH you, and if you have any sense at all, you are very nervous by this point.

At this juncture, up steps a curvaceous, vivacious redhead. She is as litte as Feral is tall, but she pushes him back a step with one tiny, white hand.

"Quit scaring the newbis, Feral!" she says. "I think I like this kid." She takes you by the hand and leads you away from the huge bouncer, giving him a rude face over her shoulder as she goes.

You are now thoroughly confused. You stand silently where the redhead brought you, a little afraid to join in the activity in the room. As you stand there, a little dark-haired girl walks up to you. She laughs.

"I see you met Feral, didn't you!" she says. You nod.

"Yeah, he scares the bejesus out of everyone. That's what he's here for. But let me tell you... if you can win him as a friend, he's the best ally you can ask for."

"So..." you gather your courage to ask... "he and the redhead don't get along?"

"The redhead? Oh, you mean Meranda Jade. Oh no, they're great friends. But she is our little mother - it is her job to gather up all the lost souls who blunder into this place, and give them a chance to redeem themselves. Really, if you stick around, you'll see that there is a core group here that are more than friends, we are family... and we would do anything in our power to help another club member in need... even when we seem to differ with each other or even fight. We still have each other's backs. It's really cool. But don't kid yourself about Meranda... she, like all mothers, is really our Mistress of Discipline, and if you show yourself to be a true menace to the pack, she will be right there with Feral to make sure you end up on your ear in the street... and you know what they say about the fierceness of mothers when their children are threatened..."

You inwardly resolve to never give Meranda reason to turn on you. Then you gather the courage once again to ask...

"Who are you?"

She laughs. "Me? I'm just little Schizo. I'm the Mother Confessor. It's my job to see inside your head, and the heads of my pack, and explain you all to each other. It's just a knack I have. It's a good thing I can do this, too, because of all the people in this club, I started out as unlike the others as you can possibly be. Trust me, I was far more of a disjointed Newbi than you are now... it is possible to make your way here - you need courage, and brutal honesty with yourself... having the gift of gab doesn't hurt either... and don't be afraid to laugh at yoursel. Hang in there... believe it or not, we want you to succeed. Now go out there and break a leg!"

With that, the dark-haired girl drifted off to join Feral, Meranda, and a few other interesting-looking people, where they all started laughing their heads off at some joke that you didn't quite catch. You take a long, hard swallow of whatever drink you have in your hand, and go in search of amusement, resolving to think first and speak later the next time...

Good luck to you, Newbi!

Back to the garden analogy... part of gardening is the integration of new plants. These new plants don't necessarily look like much at first, and may need a little cultivationn. And weeding is an unpleasant but necessary chore if both new and established plants are to flourish. But we WANT new growth here... my two cents worth of advice is, keep your mouth shut and your eyes open for a bit... if there is a spot here for you, you will see it when it opens. If not, don't try to force it. Honestly, this may not be the site for you. We are a close-knit bunch who love and trust each other deeply. There are those here who have opened their homes to others when fortune rained hell on their heads... I myself, when going through a period where I didn't not have computer access, was given a computer by a couple at the site. We have had relationships bloom here... we have had face-to-face friendships be born from this online-connection... we have coached each other through birth of children, death of loved ones, marriage, divorce, joy, and catastrophe. You are not going to break into our midst instantaneously... but when someone shows themselves as kin, they will be accepted with an almost alarming openness. And we are eager to find our kin. If you are one of these rare beings, then, welcome home. If not, then we still wish you well, and if you want to hang around, that's fine - just please use courtesy, OK? Or we may have to sic Feral on you...

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Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts | Login/Create an account | 14 Comments
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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Schizo (Aranea@Spidersdance.com)
on Feb 19, 2007 - 04:05 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
Aaaack... I meant DISRUPTED plants in the first paragraph, not disruptive! Sorry... LOL

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by pale-face (-) on Feb 19, 2007 - 08:31 PM
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This was a phenomenal article and genuinely reminded me why I joined this sight. Hopefully I havenít out stayed my welcome and Iím beginning to become a regular at the club so to say. I know Iím hardly able to contribute such intellectual gems such as those supplied by say mono or feral. But hopefully Iím able to cast a polished stone into the pile every now and then.

As far as my advice for those looking to join the site, do your research boys and girls. Iím not going to say anything that hasnít been said but I am going to tell you that they are serious when they say it.

[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Feb 19, 2007 - 09:15 PM
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It's honestly not an intellectual competition. There have been some people here, who, while certainly intelligent... I wouldn't classify as intellectuals.

Hell, just relax and have a good time. Just don't be mean (unless you're witty about it) and don't be stupid (unless you're doing it deliberately for fun).

The pants vs. skirts forums come to mind here. Those were really stupid at times. But a whole lot of fun.

And mean... well... some people can pull off the mean and sound like they're really doing it for your own good. It's the ones who sound like they're throwing a two year old tantrum or being hateful just to show off that they can get away with it that bother me. I was never one for senseless spitefulness.

Anyway, pale_face... you've been here long enough that your name is easily recognized. You're a little quiet and tend to fade into the dark corners a bit, but everyone knows they've seen you around.

You're doing fine.

[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Schizo (Aranea@Spidersdance.com) on Feb 20, 2007 - 01:35 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
and she proves my point about her... *grins*

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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Sardonic-Pain (SarieOwnsGod@hotmail.com)
on Feb 21, 2007 - 12:36 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://myspace.com/sarietastic
I absolutely loved this article Schitzo.....its all true so very true....

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by littlegothgirlthatcould (thelittlegothgirlthatcould@yahoo.com)
on Feb 23, 2007 - 12:41 PM
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Yeah, I already had Feral sicced on me. then again he may have been looking for noisy idiot newbies such as myself... :) Hes great though... Didnt make me run in fear, but he did scare the bejezzus out of me...

Great illistration of what it is like to be a newbie... keep the great ones coming...

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by feralucce (feralucce@wayoutonthecorner.com) on Feb 26, 2007 - 04:30 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.wayoutonthecorner.com/feralucce
or maybe, by the words you chose... even though you were acting the idiot... it was obvious you had potential to be more and I just shook your head to unstick your thought processes

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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on Feb 27, 2007 - 07:13 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
Some things just draw the eyes and get me all interested over again.


Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Schizo (Aranea@Spidersdance.com) on Feb 27, 2007 - 01:18 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
Dolooooooo! *kisses*

please stay and play with us!

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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com) on Feb 28, 2007 - 05:19 PM
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I'll try to be around more often. Kind of started missing this place.

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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Schizo (Aranea@Spidersdance.com) on Feb 28, 2007 - 05:28 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
We kind of started missing you... *mwah!*

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Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by Jesi on Mar 07, 2007 - 10:33 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
I've been here for over two years and haven't contributed shit.
I should get on that.

Re: Watering the Shmeng Garden, part II... Seedlings and Sprouts
by KJT (-) on Mar 11, 2007 - 07:29 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
Much like myself, Jesi. I stop by when I think about it, always finding something to make the visit worthwhile, but always afraid to stick my finger in the pot for more than a taste. Maybe someday.

Great article, BTW.


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Sticking your finger into the pot
by daria_4 (-) on Mar 11, 2007 - 12:08 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
It's worth it. I forget how long I was silent before writing an article. I did, however, post here and there on forums and make comments so as to make my presence known, even if only from the corners of the room.
I tend to write for the experiences column, as I don't delude myself into thinking that just because I love dark and sensual fiction means I can write it.
As they say, write what you know. I'm sure you know you, and we'd like to get to know you, too.

[ No anonymous comments ]

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