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| Shmeng of the Week: Jesus in the span of a cigarette |
Posted by
bettie_x on Friday, September 13, 2002 - 08:02 AM PST
Let me begin by reminding everyone of my stance on religion: I have the UTMOST respect for people beliefs and ways of life...granted, that is, that they respect mine as well. I don't like being reminded that I'm going to hell as they don't like being reminded that they worship the greatest black magician in the history of man. Anyhoo, here's what happened.
There is a janitor at the mall I work at named John. John is a lovely man, very friendly, happy with his job, and kind to everyone.
He also, on his days off, comes to the mall in solid color wild suits with a matching fedora. I'm talking solid powder pink, solid purple, solid canary yellow, baby blue, with bible in hand, and stands outside the Bon Marche preaching gospel like a rabid southern holy roller. Well, if nobody minds him that's fine with me as I never go to that end of the mall, so if nobody complains and I'm not subject to it big whoop.
The most I heard of his "gospel" was when I asked him how his day was, and he'd reply "the lord has blessed me with a BEAUTIFUL day ma'am, BEAUTIFUL day in His eyes, yes he did. That bright blue sky up there is His LOVE ma'am, VERY BLESSED". I always thought it was nice he was so happy with everything in his life. Usually he didn't turn his religious fervor on me, which was great.
But he did turn it on me, during a much needed cigarette break. It was the anniversary of the terrorist attack last September 11th.
Shortly after the attacks last year, he began in on it, how Islam was a religion of hate, that they don't worship the REAL god, that they all hate us and god will have his vengeance. Usually I don't bother him over his little "blessed" outbursts,
but I wasn't going to let him fly with this one. I told him flat out "no, you're wrong."
He looked BAFFLED "Why no ma'am, I'm NOT!"
"Islam isn't a religion of hate, it's a beautiful religion that focus' on charity, prayer, service to your neighbors. They worship the SAME god as you, just differently."
"NO MA'AM! They worship ALLAH, not God"
I took a deep breath and explained that ALLAH is their language's word for god. That until he's read the Koran, he's no right to talk about it, and that the terrorists were merely using God's name to achieve their own agenda, JUST LIKE NEARLY EVERY MAJOR RELIGION IN HISTORY, JUST LIKE HIM. I then excused myself and left it at that.
*sigh*
Now to the issue that sparked this post.
I was out on another cigarette break after spending all day without one so I could finish up a hellish merchandising task. It was the anniversary of the attack, and John was again in rare form.
He was POSSESSED. It was like my turn to be the snowball in hell for 15 goddamned minutes.
He was going on how there was NO mention of Mohammed before the bible (because Islam and Christianity came from the roots of Judaism! I interjected desperately) and how it's not about them it's about HIM (i.e.: Christianity's God) and how they're all faulty and shall be punished because they refuse to see the way and the light our lord Jesus Christ amen!
It's not about history, he raved, it's about HIS story, HIS story and HIS coming and the LORD ALMIGHTY and they attacked the country because they HATE US and because they don't believe in the REAL ONE TRUE KING, because there IS only ONE TRUE KING he reminded me, blah blah blah blah.
I tried SEVERAL TIMES to tactfully change the subject, to derail his heavenly tantrum, TO EASE MY SUFFERING...but alas to no avail.
He had stopped sweeping. He had stopped replacing garbage bags. He was gaining looks of concern from people entering and exiting the doorways. He was putting me on the verge of a satanic fit the likes of which mankind has never seen nor will ever see again. I wanted to jump from my seat and fling my cigarette and scream! Scream that he was ignorant, scream that he was preposterous, scream that if he had the slightest clue as to what the world was really about and the things his own religion have done to the world that he's CONVENIENTLY forgotten would CRUSH him, scream that I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
Luckily another mall employee came out mid "sermon" and John busied himself long enough to catch some scurrying trash on the ground.
I had escaped, barely, the other employee giving me a look of "what the fuck was going on?"
I bid them goodbye and RAN inside.
IS there a tactful way to get OUT of these situations?! I tried SEVERAL times to rebuff his words or change the subject, and all in vain. It sent him into a more frenzied fervor, a more crazy line of religious ranting. I have never in my life been so TRAPPED!!!! (Hence the urge to explode and be done with him once and for all).
I always liked john because he was kind, but my respect for him and tolerance for him is GONE.
I fear next time I'll be unable to control myself.
The man is goddamned LUCKY I'm not the type to fling my beliefs around and hurt feelings and deflate egos at random. Next time he won't be so goddamned lucky.
Do I just get up and walk away in mid sentence?
Do I simply tell him to shut the fuck up?
Do I talk to a supervisor about him?
Do I fight fire with fire and argue him to the bitter end?
Do I shoot him?
Got any ideas so I won't end up in jail?
I'd be real thankful and stuff.
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| Jesus in the span of a cigarette | Login/Create an account | 44 Comments |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 09:39 AM
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Nothing is too tightly coiled these days.
Fervor protects weakness-- the main defense of any religious sect.
Muhammad had a 6 year old wife.
Jesus was an incestuous communist.
King Solomon(Sun and Moon) was a completely fictional character.
The more you point out is wrong, the mor efervently they have to defend it-- because all the religions knew that they would become under attack because they're about as airtight as half-built house of legos.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:10 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | exactamundo...but you know what, informing him of his cracks and leaks in his almightyness would be disasterous.
I should try it.
Maybe his head will explode.
I've probably read more religious texts than he even knows exist...I'm well armed, I just don't have time (15 or 30 min breaks) and I'm not up for trecking down to the mall and finding him and picking a fight.
I think I'll just rat him out.
I'm a tattletale when I can't make people shut up. |
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In general
by Arthegarn on Sep 16, 2002 - 04:11 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | I always loved your generalizations. Comedian. They are so logical, so... scientific
(I was trying to be sarcastic, by the way)
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Re: In general
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Sep 16, 2002 - 05:08 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Oh, here we go.
And I always loved the Bibble, Arthy. It's so full of wonderful generalizations. Goddamn accuracy out the wazzoo. Such logical processes, and historical recordings. I mean, damn. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Monolycus on Sep 13, 2002 - 09:40 AM
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I feel your pain, Bettie... and the short answer is that there is nothing, nada, zip, zilch, that is going to get through to the man or make him stop his hounding of not only yourself, but every soul that passes his way. Sadly, his fervor has nothing, nada, zip, zilch to do with religion. When someone goes off the rails that way and feels the need to spread the good word (whatever word) in as socially awkward a way as it is possible to spread it, their display is an externalization of some very, very serious internal disquiet. Arguing with him is not going to help (C'mon, do you REALLY think for an instant that there is some turn of phrase or logical exercise you can perform that is going to make a lightbulb go off in the man's head and suddenly he will realise that maybe, just maybe, his answers aren't the only ones?) The sad truth is that the volume of his "preaching" is an attempt on his part to drown out those nagging little doubts in the first place. *sigh* Thankfully he is only a janitor. The Bushes and Sharons of the world drown out those nagging little voices with SCUD missiles. I am. I was, I will
a very sympathetic,
~Monolycus.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:08 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | No, I don't think there is a damned thing I could say that would make the lightbulb go on....not only because that magical word doesn't exist, but if it did, and I knew it, he wouldn't be able to hear me over himself!
But knowing me, you will know how hard it is to keep my big mouth shut against someone flying off the handle like that. I even blurted out loudly several times "JOHN, I WON'T discuss religion, it has NOTHING to do with anything that happened" and whoosh RIGHT over his head.
If you could only...ONLY have HEARD it and SEEN it. I can't even properly put into words the sheer MAGNITUDE of it. THose crazy "end is near" street preachers pale in comparison. Southern baptist holy rollers look like heavenly clowns next to his tirade. It was one non stop, not even for BREATH 15 goddamned minute fucking SERMON.
I am thinking I'm going to talk to the mall management about it. I don't wanna get him fired, I just want him to shut the fuck up about it.
I wish the world had a remote control with a mute button....and a delete button.
My life would be SO much easier then. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Arthegarn on Sep 16, 2002 - 04:13 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Completely agreed. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Alugarde (SoulCiphyr@aol.com)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 10:11 AM
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Earlier today (or maybe last night) I saw a paper posted on the wall talking about a religous group here on campus. Suddenly I had the mental image of them preaching to me and me interupting with "I worship cheese. I have an alter to cheese in my room, and I sacrifice toast to it every night."
I don't think that would be very effective in a real life situation, but if all else fails...
As for your ideas, walking away and/or saying you don't care would be the best I think...
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:11 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | Hey, acting balls out fucking crazy is THE best way to get out of a pinch.
Try that scene from "fear and loathing in las vegas"
Grab a fly swatter.
Swat wildly at the air.
"We can't stop here man! This here's BAT COUNTRY!" |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Keltin (lanthanein@earthlink.net)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 12:37 PM
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It always shocks me to find those who profess to be of a christian belief, yet have such a devote hatred to those "not of their faith". Being a religious man myself, I understand that most religions out there do profess a lifestyle of peace and harmony with mankind and nature. Far too many take their beliefs to the extreme, and feel they must force their religion on others.. Sheesh.
Sadly Bettie, there's not much you can do. What I would be prone to do (basically making the person think that I'm completely evil and dark), would only drive them to try to "convert" you even more. Perhaps you could delightfully tell him that the more he talks to you, the more you are driven towards one of these other religions? Drop the subtle hint that he's not helping his own purpose?
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Arthegarn on Sep 16, 2002 - 04:14 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | That might work if he was trying to convert her, or anyone else for all that matters. but I don’t think he is, he’s too busy listening to the sound of his own voice as to care fot the result he is getting. Typical case of mistaking the means with the end |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Tiresias on Sep 13, 2002 - 12:38 PM
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A long time ago (well, not that long, actually...a few years, I guess), I used to engage these sorts of people in religious debates (at least, the ones who would stop preaching long enough to listen to you). Twice I argued with Christians until they simply said "It's a matter of faith" and bowed out of the conversation after I started making points they couldn't refute (this is actually how I decided I wasn't a Christian...I had considered myself one before this and simply used the debates as an intellectual exercise to flesh out questions). I also discovered that there is absolutely nothing you can say to shake their beliefs - if you do, they will simply consider you one of the evil ones sent to fill them with doubt and discount you out of hand. In essence, there was not really any debate going on - it was them trying to convert me, and nothing else. I quit participating in discussions like this because they are ultimately self-defeating and pointless, and I got tired of intellectual masturbation.
The only time I indulge myself anymore is in situations like yours, where someone is trying to shove their beliefs down my throat. And by "indulge," I don't mean intellectual debate. I just like to lay into people and freak them out. I absolutely love it when the Mormons (or whoever) come to my house. Once, I invented a religion off the top of my head based on "Slaughterhouse Five" and "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut and told them that was what I practiced (I thought I'd overplayed my hand but nope...they bought it hook, line, and sinker).
Another time, the Mormons showed up at a friend's house. I regaled them with tales of drugs and booze, while one friend chased another around the house with a light-up vibrator. They couldn't leave fast enough...which was a pity because I kept trying to invite them in for cocktails.
The point being, if someone is disrespectful enough to try to convert you, go on ahead and vent a bit. Their beliefs are ultimately irrational, so feel free to be as bizarre as you want in response. I bet he'll leave you alone then, and you'll get a good chuckle out of it at least.
Don't get mad, get wierd
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:18 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | The thing is, I wasn't trying to shake his beliefs, or change his mind, just shut him the fuck up.
I did say several times "it's a matter of faith" or "to you, perhaps, but it's not THEIR way of life" and "well I guess we'll all see when we're dead".
I swear to hell he didn't even pause for breath.
I discuss religion when it has a reason to be discussed or when I know it will be a discussion or debate and not an argument or "you WILL see things MY way". I don't wanna discuss it with him. I don't wanna listen to it. I don't have time and frankly I don't care enough about the human race to try to change it's mind. My beliefs are my own, and obviously HE doesn't see things that way.
I think next time I shall scream.
That always fixes things.
Usually. At least it's fun. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 02:27 PM
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I know yor a Satanist and not a Devil Worshiper but I do tend to like the Devil Worshiper's way of handling things (ala Harlot). Either masquerade as a Xian and slowly disillusion them to Church brainwashing or (if yoo don't have that kind of time or effort) just study the Bible very hard and when arguing, quote scripture and back what yoo have to say up with their Bible and then challenge them to find a passage that backs what they have to say up.
The problem with all organized religions (especially those with one central holy text) is that individuals are brought up with it in such a casual way that they hide behind it with no real comprehension of what it stands for.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:22 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | Yeah, devil worshipers are fun. If anything I just like to watch them either freak out or people freak out on them. They're mischevious little guys :)
The thing is, I don't have the time or want to expend the effort. I really really really just don't CARE enough to enlighten the world on something as silly as someone's religion. I dont' have the right answers, and neither do I. We'll ALL find out when we kick the bucket and I"m okay with that.
I've read several religious books.
I can back up what they say and what I say.
I just wanna be left alone!
Like I said before, I think next time I shall just scream. It makes me feel good.
And harlot is a fucking hoot! |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Sep 15, 2002 - 12:51 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http:// | I know what yoo mean. One time a woman came up to mee at work (she was dressed in flowing white gown like she was supposed to be an angel...either that or just came from a wedding or something) and she told mee in a very concerned and struggling to be empathic manner that I needed to find Jesus.
Her basis for thinking I was not with Jesus being that I was wearing a spike in my labret. Piercings, she said were against God. I respectfully asked her where in the Bible does it say anything that resembles even remotely that piercings were against God and she just kept arguing (albeit respectfully) without answering the question.
It's a shame that people can be so into what they believe that when they have nothing to back it up with they ignore the conflict rather than take it into consideration. |
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Holy Bodymods!
by Monolycus on Sep 15, 2002 - 02:19 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | That's peculiar. Seems to me that Jesus was fairly significantly pierced.
~M. |
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Re: Holy Bodymods!
by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Sep 16, 2002 - 11:35 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http:// | Oh my, that was delightfully tasteless!
I actually was trying to get into performance art in which several mythological scenes would be portrayed as acts of SM (in paticular the legend of Osiris) and I wanted to pierce my palms with spikes but I am by no means a fakir (yet!) so the idea never made it. Oi. |
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Holiest of Holies.
by Monolycus on Sep 16, 2002 - 03:10 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Oh, you great pansy of a cephalopod! There is a performance artist in Mexico that has himself crucified to a Volkswagen Beetle (I assume he has someone else do it, I can't work out how one might get that last nail in by themselves) just about annually. I am not a big fan of performance art as a rule, but your idea of interpreting the Osiris myth into a SM context sounds like it has potential. I could see it as a pay-per-view event with Maplethorpe narrating the action.
"Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a bullwhip out of my ass!"
"Again? That trick never works!"
~excerpt from the Rocky and Maplethorpe Show... one of the funniest comics I have ever seen. |
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Re: Holiest of Holies.
by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Sep 17, 2002 - 09:18 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http:// | | PANSY? Shove a spike through yor face and then call mee a pansy! Actually, I wanted to tour with Jim Rose for a while, I want to remain underground enough so I'm never on Pay-per-View but I can't say I'd turn down a guest appearance on the X-Files if I was so offered. I first became interested in performance art when I learned about Bob Flanagan (I may be a masochist but I'm not a Super-Masochist) and tried to get an apprenticeship with Fakir Musafar (didn't happen). I wanted to integrate classical and contemporary ritual such as the grade rituals of the GD and the Ancient Egyptian dramas. |
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Re: Holiest of Holies.
by Monolycus on Sep 18, 2002 - 11:43 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | Okay, okay, okay... you're not a pansy. I've not forced spikes through myself (intentionally), but I have bikini waxed a few times. Anyway, it's not a competition. We're all rough-and-tumble macho sorts 'round these parts.
I can see performing the Osiris Risen ritual with the aid of fluffer on the sidelines, but I am having trouble working out the details of the Mourning Isis in a live context (Isis: "Ew... is that what I think that is!?"). Best of luck with the project.
~Monolycus. |
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Re: Holy Bodymods!
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 19, 2002 - 07:49 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | BAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!
Exactly!
Ever seen the website "jesus is gother than you"?
It's soooo funny....
jesus is gother than you because:
he hung out with prostitues
had more hardcore piercings
convinced others to drink his blood and eat his body
there was always plenty of wine
etc |
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Re: Holy Bodymods!
by Monolycus on Sep 19, 2002 - 08:48 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | | I actually haven't seen it... but I'm going to track it down now! Danke! |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 19, 2002 - 07:47 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | Well when that happens, study them and look for makeup, ear piercings, and wether or not their hair is done up. Usually when you ask "WHY is it against god" they say that it's because he doesn't want you to desecrate your body, that he wants you to be as he made you (i have had this happen to me as well)
Then either scream SINNER! (if they're wearing makeup or the above physical "alterations") or just ask them politely that if god wanted us to not change our bodies and be as we made them, then by proxy that person is desecrating their "holy vessel" with makeup (if god wanted our eyelids blue we'd have been born with it) with pierced ears (if god wanted holes in our earlobes he'd have made us born like that) and hairdye (if god wanted you to be blonde he'd have made you blonde when you were born).
Usually takes the wind out of their sales.
Especially if they're wearing glasses....god meant for you to be blind, who are you to overpower his mighty rule? Or EVEN better CONTACTS...overpowering god's will AND vanity...*tisk tisk* sinner sinners! |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Arthegarn on Sep 16, 2002 - 04:15 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | “Most of the time” in the second paragraph would have made this my opinion, as well. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Merry_Widow on Sep 13, 2002 - 03:07 PM
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For Pete's sake, don't these people ever quit?
Anytime I run into one of these people, they are always "born agian christians." That statement in and of itself is contradictory to christian belief/dogma/whatever.
The best way I have found in dealing with them is to drop little remarks and statements in between all the nodding that will gradually work their way under the offending parties skin, leaving them confused and doubting their own self-righteousness.
At least, that's how I deal with the little God-cult on campus. On second thought, you might as well just shoot him so he can find out what's really up.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:25 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | Oh that would be great.
I just read a short horror story about everyone having a "right to One" which is you get to kill ONE person and get off scott free. Kill anyone else and you're executed. Sounds fun. In my imagination.
Then I think of all the people itching to off me and well, I like being alive.
I guess "deliverance" would be the ultimate enlightenment, huh? *giggle* I should tell him that sometime. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Merry_Widow on Sep 15, 2002 - 01:54 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | No, I've got it! Next time, should there be a next time, just look real surprised and point to something behind the guy yelling, "Holy Shit! It's Jesus driving a Pinto!"
Then when he turns around and tries to look busy, run like hell.
Now if that's not a plan, I don't know what is. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 04:29 PM
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Sweetie print out one of the "Suicide is for you!" handouts and give him one. Say it is a flyer from your church. See how long it takes him to read it.
i also sometimes sing nursery rhymes while they rant. It amused me but it doesnt change what they do at all.
Point at him and laugh. Hoot with laughter and lean on walls. He is probably deranged(had too much fun in the 60's or too much napalm in the 70's or soemthing) so there isnt much brain there for him to process information.
Tell him there are devil whorshippers handing out bibles at the other end of the mall. Tell him the mormons are setting up a booth giving away thier bibles to teenagers and pregnant women....
see if he buys it.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:27 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | I think he's just a plain old crazy wad of southern holly rollin fun.
I like the idea of telling him there's devil worshippers handing out bibles at the other end of the mall...hmmm.
I could always dress up in a matching ensemble and scream satanic literature right next to him in front of the bon....that sounds like GOOD TIMES! |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Sticupus (sticupus@hotmail.com)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 06:52 PM
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Poor Bettie, But have no fear, I have infinite knowledge on this subject. For many years I was in the realm of satanic communities in MSN chat rooms (shudders at the memories). The all knowing supreme ruler was a big satanic bull dyke named PoisonDemon666, and I was her right hand minion. The Satanists consisted of Modern Satanism (They do not worship Satan!), from the Church of Satan founded by LeVey, as I am sure you know. I am elaborating so you know these are the decent, gothy, and sane Satanists. They weren't Traditional Satanists, who consist mainly of bored rich white people who enjoy killing animals, traumatizing children, having crude blood orgies and making witchcraft seem like something out of Rosemary‘s Baby. (very trite)
Every single day we would get Christians by the vat, pouring into our room not understanding the difference between Traditional and Modern Satanism, much less anything about ANY other religion. We would ask them to leave, they would harass us in our own domain. We would try to correct them, mainly using scripture and history, they would ignore us and taunt us. They would get overly dramatic, preaching, crying, unable to understand that other people weren't Christian, and we would rather go to hell (if we were wrong and they were “right”) than see it their way. They could not comprehend their religion being wrong at anytime, nor could they comprehend their religion being equal to others. Also they felt since their religion as “right” then they could never be wrong as long as they were Christian. To top it off they would show us the bright blinding light of their ignorance with comments like "But Buddha isn't my god..."
We would argue endlessly. Every time we had a logical rebuttal, they would simply deny it (VERY FUCKING ANNOYING). Most of the time we would just throw digital rocks, be lude and crude to disgust them into going away, or ban them forever if they were really bad. 100's of Christians have argued with me; 1000's of rebuttals and pages written; All of then not listening to a word. They all had questions like “Why can‘t you accept Christ as your lord and savior?” We would reply and not one of them have ever stopped to THINK about what we were saying. We would logically answer them and they simply continued with their opinions and their bitching/preaching.
Now that you know of my years of experience, you can trust my answers to your questions.
Do I just get up and walk away in mid sentence?
-Yes, that stops it, however, what makes him not approach you ever again? Ignoring him can only be a temporary solution, Christians are relentless and prolific in their urge to express their manufactured ideas.
Do I simply tell him to shut the fuck up?
-It depends on the person. A few will take a hint and go away. MOST will get all tight assed and use your rudeness as a sign of your obvious immorality and feel the urge to preach their ideas more so they can save you from “fire and brimstone“.
Do I talk to a supervisor about him?
-That would work. Nothing shuts up a Christian like an authority figure: Unless he starts in with crap like "Only god can tell me what to do!" Then it is useless, I then suggest suicide or a restraining order to ease your suffering from his ignorance.
Do I fight fire with fire and argue him to the bitter end?
- That never works... they again get all righteous on you for making them feel shmengy and try to “save you“. Although this was the method the Satanist usually used to combat and destroy the Christians online. We would get pleasure on bashing all the Christians as they can into OUR chat room to tell us how terrible we are and how much we deserve to rot in hell (also that we are "ignorant fools" and can't understand why we would throw away paradise. -blah). It starts to get annoying after the 300th or so time they insult you and your own thoughts and facts, thus you feel an urge to destroy, consider that perfectly natural.
Do I shoot him?
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:32 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | If I ever go into a yahoo chat room it's satan's chambers, and people have set up bots to repeatedly enter "jesus saves" and other crap. Bugs the hell out of me. You should see my ignore list.
I know shooting him would get me into prison, but it'd be fun. Let a girl dream, will ya?
Mom said NEVER give up on your dreams.
I don't wanna argue with him.
I don't wanna change minds.
I just want him to shut up, which is probably why I'm gonna act like a spoiled brat and rat him out.
I'm gonna squeal on him.
Get him yelled at.
*bwahahhahah* I'm a TATTLETAIL!!!! |
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Re: mmmmmm, tasty Jesus!
by AloneSoul (AloneSoul@hurting.com)
on Sep 13, 2002 - 10:53 PM
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Oh how I do love the religious zealot. Absolute expansionist when it comes to his or her religion. This person believes that their choice religion is right, the world is wrong, and we MUST be saved...kinda like those anti-tobacco idiots. We MUST be saved, we MUST live the maximum amount of years we can live! God they piss me off.
I’ve dealt with this people before in a few different manners, on the phone, at the door, in school...everywhere! Usually though, I say/do the following things to people who I don’t know...in slight variations. Now, since you know this guy, it’s up to you if you want to piss him off or try to be nice for as long as possible. You can be serious, humorous, blunt, creative or tricky with this people but they will come back for more.
Well, here are some suggestions for you Bettie to say to this man, come next time he tries to give you another sermon.
1) *insert name here* I (used to) (respect you, enjoyed talking to you, thought you were a nice man) but now you’re (becoming a annoyance to me, annoying me, pissing me off). I am telling you this now, as a (friend, co-worker, friend and co-worker, *insert title of relation here*) to please stop.
You can also add:
If you continue to pursue me with your religious (drivel, sermons, haggles) then I will be forced to report you to (the boss, our superior, our supervisor, *insert his/her name here*).
2) You can continue to combat this man and try to convince him that he is wrong and in this case, will last for a long time. You will not beable to enjoy your cigarette break without hearing his continuing sermons.
3) Be blunt.
Please STOP bothering me about this, I do not (care anymore, want to hear this, listen to your fucking mouth).
OR: Be blunt and humorous. {in a twisted way}
Please STOP bothering me about this. *insert name here*, this is my break and I really need to relax. I am asking you nicely to (shut the fuck up, stop auguring with me about this, stop talking about this, vomit into a cup and drink it).
OR:
Please STOP bothering me about this you stupid janitor.
See step one for adding the threat.
4) Be humorous. Next time he begins to rant, drop you your knees, form a inverted cross with your index fingers and cry out “Oh Satan, I beggeth of thee to vanquish my foes!” Try to recite it in Pig Latin if you can.
He may never speak to you again and may try to perform a exorcism afterwards.
5) Shoot him.
You have instant results but you will be jailed for attempted/murder. I STRONGLY disagree with this one for your sake.
6) Do nothing and hope he goes away.
This may or may not work. In my case, they won’t stop bothering me.
Bettie, whatever you decide to say or do, I wish you the best of luck. Really, I do. These people make me want to run head first into a stone wall when they start blabbering about how “Marilyn Manson is evil for tearing up a *they always forget to add that it’s not a Christian* bible” or “Columbine would have been prevented if children were allowed to pray in school.
Religion should ENHANCE your life, not CONTROL it!
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Re: mmmmmm, tasty Jesus!
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 13, 2002 - 11:34 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | you forgot to add "and it shouldn't control those around you".
VERY helpful.
I'll decide what my course of action is and let you guys know. I'm not going to push it, just lie in wait for another onslaught of the jesus enema.
*shudder* |
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Re: mmmmmm, tasty Jesus!
by AloneSoul (AloneSoul@hurting.com) on Sep 14, 2002 - 03:20 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http:// | Why not bring some head phones and block him out with some tunes?
Converge, Gorgasm, The Berserker, 6 Feet Under, they all work just fine when trying to block out those annoying voices. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Alugarde (SoulCiphyr@aol.com)
on Sep 14, 2002 - 11:45 AM
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Hmmmm, its a cigarette break you say? Have you tried blowing smoke in his face every time he opens his mouth?
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by AloneSoul (AloneSoul@hurting.com) on Sep 14, 2002 - 03:15 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http:// | | Unless he smokes too...then that may empower him...like what spinnage does for Pop Eye. |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by MorteAscendo (corpsmanwix@aol.com)
on Sep 15, 2002 - 09:00 PM
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Me and a friend of mine where sitting at a train station in Great Lakes IL. waiting for the train to take us to Chicago. It was a nice Satu morning and this nice guy walks up to us and starts. "Nice Morning isnt it". Now this guy was, how should i say it nicely, "slow". So i was polite and responded: "Yes it is." So he starts to go off on how a beautiful morning it was and how "god" made such a day. So i smiled politly and noded (smoking mind you =) ) And then here it comes....
"Have you boys dedicated your life to the lord and savior Jesus?"
I nearly gagged on the smoke i had just inhaled and just stared at him. Now the guy i was with, was a country boy from Indiana, and he said yes, while i stayed quiet. Then the guy looks at me and says, "What about you son, have you chosen the path of the righteous (spelled wrong?)? I looked up and said: "I'm agnostic." The guy nearly keeled over...thinking i was some satan loving weirdo... He had no idea what an Agnostic was, called me a Satan worshipper and started on his "Jesus loving speech" I sat there and chained smoked another Cig and just watched in amazment how someone that is nice and kind as a button, can pull a 180 and be god fearing holy christ pushing S.O.B.!! But then came some other Sailors who where just punks and he started on them. But where does he get off on trying to trash me on what i belive if he has no idea about it. So i know where your commin from Bettie. Not alot of people know what being an Agnostic means. Here is a qupte from a fellow agnostic writer ROBERT G. INGERSOLL:
"Let us be true to ourselves -- true to the facts we know, and let us, above all things, preserve the veracity of our souls."
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Jesus wouldn't like preachers
by Arthegarn on Sep 16, 2002 - 04:11 AM
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Whoa, religion post! Did someone say "Arthegarn"?
Let me begin by reminding everyone of my stance on religion: I have the UTMOST respect for people beliefs and ways of life...granted, that is, that they respect mine as well. But to me, and to people who have a defined religion and believe in it (REALLY believe), it is that it is extremely complicated to talk to some "heathens" who mistake respect with lack of conviction. So, you see, I am a Catholic and I am convinced of my views. That means and implies that I believe that the rest of you are wrong and worshipping a false god (or whatever). I respect it but I think you’re wrong. It goes with religion, there is nothing one can do, otherwise I wouldn’t believe what I believe. The important point is not believing that you are in any way superior to your brother just because you are right. Contradictory as it might be I understand pretty well those who spend their lives telling everyone that they’re going to hell. I do not share it because I don’t believe it, but I understand it. It’s the Inquisition: if I am to save your immortal Soul of spending eternity in hell just by burning your body some minutes, I am morally forced to do so, am not I?
You know how much I hate fanaticism.
Well, back to the point I understand John. I understand what it is having a faith that compels you to dress like a Miro and preach it around. I will never understand that tele-preacher thing, perhaps because I just can’t imagine the Pope saying "the lord has blessed me with a BEAUTIFUL day ma'am, BEAUTIFUL day in His eyes, yes he did” or anything remotely resembling that but well... When not in Rome do as the non-Romans do...
What I can’t share as Christian are the contents of the preach. God’s vengeance? John’s God is so petty He commits such acts? Well, that man’s God is not mine. And just by the same token I don’t agree that Allah is. Our Gods are different ones, it’s not just a matter of how we worship them. For instance, I agree Schizo’s God is my own no matter how much a Protestant she might be. Same God, just a different church and series of practices. But Allah has too many fundamental differences, according to the mainstream Muslim confessions at least (there are as many self-appointed Christians who worship something that would do Jesus’ stomach turn as there are self-appointed Muslims that worship something that would make Mohammed behave likewise...) with my God to be the same. Yes, yes, I know the multi-facet theory of Unification but most of the time different facets are actually from different diamonds.
But let’s get back to Earth and our little Johnny here. The man needs an urgent lesson in geopolitics if he thinks 11-S had anything to do with the fact that most Americans are Christian. It has much more to do with the fact most Americans are rich. If it was about God why not crash against the Vatican which is a symbol of Chistianism, for instance, instead of against the WTC which was a symbol of money? C’mon, man, do wake up.
Screaming about the past of his religion would have served no purpose really. He is too busy with his own inner light as to care about other people. My advice would be: if you can’t talk to him talk to someone you can talk to. His supervisor is a good idea. It will not solve his problem but it will solve or ease yours. I suggest you find out which church does he attend and then speak to the priest so he can speak to him. There are many reasons he could give John to stop his behaviour including: polluting his soul and the people’s Soul with hatred, which never comes from God; going against your country’s very foundations by not respecting other people’s freedom to be a Muslim (a condemnation to hell is hardly a show of respect); earning
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Re: Jesus wouldn't like preachers
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com) on Sep 16, 2002 - 01:21 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/ | see? Even if you think someone is wrong, you can still respect their stance and way of life. It's a big difference between you and lots of others out there. *I* don't want to change anybody's mind. *I* just want to be left the hell alone.
Perhaps I just have the look of someone who needs to be saved...dunno, this happens to me a lot.
ANyway....
Islam, Judiaism (spelled?) and Christianity have the same roots. Their God is one and the same, only with different characteristics and their ways of worship. Mohammed is in their way, a sort of christ figure, only for them to call him the son of god is blasphemous, as to them god is higher than man. The accept Christ not as a savior in the flesh, but just as another GREAT and important prophet in God's history. And conversely, Jesus was a Jew. A main difference in the split between jews and xians (besides that other half of the bible) is that xians already had their messiah and are waiting for a second time, whilst jews still wait. Christianity started as a "cult" devoted to God's SON. God, Yawey (spelled?) and Allah all have the same root, the same ideals, but are worshipped and treated differently. Perhaps not all the "same" but all sharing the same roots and principles.
And with all major religions, conflict arises BECAUSE of these cultural perceptions.
Even something as simple as which branch of that religion you follow.
Remember Ireland in the 80's. The catholics in northern Ireland versus the Protestants.
SAME god, slightly DIFFERNT worship, but enough for them to kill each other for years over it.
It's messy, and to me it's positively stupid. I never assume I'm right in the matter. *I* dont' know any more than they do. They can BELIEVE, they can feel within them that it is GOOD and RIGHT for THEM, but NONE of us will know until our heart stops beating and our last firing synapses flicker out. I can accept that I may be wrong...but I can FEEL that I"m right. But that doesn't make me want to run about convincing everyone else, unless they ask.
I had a friend once start in on religion, and that she felt she's lost her way and kept going on and on until I finally just said "honey, do you realise who you're talking to? I am the LAST person in the world to bring you back to Jesus. Find your way back yourself, if it's meant to be, as I've heard that God is internal. If it's there for you, you'll find it."
I could have told her that her eyes were just finally opening after years of brainwashing. I could have told her that she was finally seeing herself as a human animal and not a devine creation under the laws of an unseen puppetmaster. I could have told her I was happy she wasn't going to church anymore and was seeing things through unclouded eyes.
But I didn't because her faith is none of my business, because her life is not mine, and her mind is her own, and her beliefs are not mine to change.
I told her either she would find her way back to her god or she would find another path.
She had a tendency to bring god up quite a bit, which was irritating, and thankfully she's gotten so into herself and into "the scene" that I don't talk to her anymore....she's twice as irritating now as the scenester, the gothster, the drama queen and the ubersnob than she ever was as a lamb of god that used unsuccesfully "subtle" dogma to bring me to god. I could shut her up then. You can't shut up a scenester.
Oh well. I haven't seen him in days, but I'm sure to get stuck with him again. I'm going to wait it out and see if it happens again and either stop it myself or talk to his boss.
This got a lot more attention than I though it would...hmmm.
Oh hell who could resist something that would turn into a religious debate?
*snicker* |
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by BlueVampyress on Sep 23, 2002 - 02:39 PM
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I would have just done what you said.He needs to do some research before he goes around saying what is wrong or what is right.Maybe you should just talk to him a bit more,say exactly what you think,and tell him to do some fucking research.If it doesn't work,talk to a supervisor about him.
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Celria on Sep 27, 2002 - 02:07 AM
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one day at our school one of these bible groups came now I thought why not listen to them? after all I've been wanting to learn about different religeons and so I did. The jesus guy wasn't that bad but after the talk a whole bunch of people including me decided to talk about our beleifs. when I told one boy that I didn't know what to beleive in yet and that i was still deciding he got angry and started telling me I had to beleive in god. He started telling me that the devil created all other religeons and that christianity was the only way.
I told him that christianity was created after most religeons and that they were the original people to create the "devil" he told me I would burn in hell... *sigh* I can't beleive the kid was so ignorant after all... it was his first year of highschool and in my mind thats just too young to be a zealot...
and another time I was condemed to hell for saying I didn't beleive in deamons! I said I beleived in angels but not deamons and well that argument went for awhile, but never mind my petty experience you have a problem here
bettie the thing I always do is ask them one of two questions
1. if god created humans in seven days and the humans on the seventh how come the dinosaurs were around so long before us?
(this is a tricky one because quite often the will claim that the scientists are wrong and that they don't beleive in carbon dating)
2. is god so powerfull that he can make a rock that he himself can't lift?
(this one is good they will
a. look at you blankly
b. act superior and think you are ignorant - it tends to shut them up
c. ask you what you think)
if that doesn't work I suggest telling a supervisor
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Re: Jesus in the span of a cigarette
by Dense on Jul 18, 2003 - 08:58 PM
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Yes I agree with you that his zest for god is out of line. I am a christin, but a defrerent type. I consider my self a "neo-christin". The reason why is that every one that worships a one-god worships the same one as me. Christanity is just the way i choose to do so. I encounter the same situation as you do many of times. The best solution to prove my self is this:
The translation of Allah and Abah is father. Abah is what the christain god was called in the old testiment. There for a rose is a rose by any other name.
So the answer as to what you should do is out smart him.
What pisses me off about people like him is that he probally just repeats what his church leader told him. Now he is just repeating it with out thinking about it for him self. This gives ture christins a bad name. It also allows for raceism, hatered, and ignorace to enter the heart.
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