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Articles: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time |
Posted by
Geist on Saturday, February 08, 2003 - 04:02 AM PST
Herve Villechaize is best known for his work as the frumpy dwarf 'Tattoo' on the syndicated television series, "Fantasy Island." His character brought levity week after week, as he would repeat the catch phrase, "the plane boss, the plane." America fell in love with this headstrong scamp as they laughed at his TV. land antics. But soon America will be laughing no more…
Now to understand the plight of America, you must first understand midgets. Most are either of the contented, cheery, helpful type. Or dim-witted, loud mouthed, drunkard type. However, Mr. Villechaize (curse his black heart) is a rare breed of intelligent/time traveling midget. Once a low budget Hollywood documentary was made on just this sort of midget, but sadly the American audience did not take heed.
From what we can tell Villechaize has been roaming through time, and tampering with historical events for many years now, but for what ultimate purpose is still unknown. Just recently though several photographs and video stills have surfaced, giving some insight into what this contemptible rat bastard has planned. These pictures date back to 1943, but stop in 1974 where he was last photographed with Richard M. Nixon.
Perhaps in 1974 Villechaize gave up corrupting the timeline with his sinister midget influence. On the other hand he may have just gotten craftier, a master of disguise, obliterating all that America and the world holds dear. Now that I have publicly revealed this shocking information, please take it upon yourself as a good American, Canadian, Englishman, or whatever to put an end to this devious midget's epic reign of malevolence. So if you ever somehow locate Villechaize, let's say walking down a narrow dirt road, do not hesitate to run him down. And if anyone asks about the blood and midget sized dent in your bumper say it was a fat, bulbous-headed dog.
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Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time | Login/Create an account | 10 Comments |
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Re: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time
by MorteAscendo (corpsmanwix@aol.com)
on Feb 08, 2003 - 05:27 AM
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BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! Thats fuckin great. Good job!!!! You made my night!!! LOL!!
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Re: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time
by Merry_Widow on Feb 08, 2003 - 09:37 AM
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Wow. I guess we should be thankful he isn't Irish, too.
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Re: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolfathotmaildotcom)
on Feb 10, 2003 - 10:53 AM
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http://Xaoswolf.tripod.com
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This low budget documentary you speak of, would it perhaps be Time Bandits?
I must say, I have seen that documentary several times. Also, I have a chunk of evil that I keep in the microwave so when anybody breaks into my house, they'll touch it and die.
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Re: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time
by pAris (dparis@columbus.rr.com)
on Feb 22, 2003 - 07:21 PM
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http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/279/unbalanced_load.html
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funny, but I hate to spoil the mood, but I am going to be a stickler for detail: Time Bandits was not a Hollywood movie. It was made by former Monty Python members Terry Gilliam (an American surprisingly) and Michael Palin in England. Normally I would not waste time writing this, but as Terry Gilliam (Brazil, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, The Fisher King and many more) is one of the all time greatest modern film makers, I could not ignore it.
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Re: Beloved "Tattoo" Spreads Evil Through Time
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on Mar 10, 2003 - 05:24 PM
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::Screams weakly and shivers::
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