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Fiction: I Want One |
Posted by
Merry_Widow on Friday, January 03, 2003 - 06:04 PM PST
David let himself into the apartment and stopped in the threshold. What the hell was that smell? It smelled like bleach and copper. No, that was. . . blood, wasn't it? David groaned and muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his short, spiky hair. "Christ, what did she do now?"
He crept cautiously into the front rooms, glancing over the partition that separated the living room from the kitchen. Nothing there. "Marie, babe, where are you?"
"I'm in the bathroom, sweetheart. I'm just finishing cleaning up this mess I made."
The smells grew more pungent as he neared the bathroom attached to their master bedroom. The bleach burned his nose and the blood, yes, he was sure now that it was definitely blood, made him want a hamburger. As he peeked into the bathroom, he was greeted by the sight of Marie's back as she bent over the sink, scrubbing under her fingernails, humming to herself quietly. As he stepped fully into the bathroom, he was nearly blinded by the brightness of the freshly scrubbed tile. The darkness of the black garbage bag sitting in front of the tub was relief to his eyes.
Marie caught his eye in the mirrors reflection and smiled. "How was work? Did you get to bounce anybody out of the bar?"
David wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. "A couple of people . . . Can I ask you something, babe?"
"Sure!"
"What's in the bag?"
Marie tilted her head back over her shoulder and grinned brightly up at David. "Don't worry, sweetheart. It was just a practice round. I wasn't too serious about it this time."
Turning back to the sink, Marie once again began to scrub her nails, softly humming.
"Well, that's a start. But what weren't you too serious about this time?"
"Well, you know how when we go out together, and I see people with their kids, and I always tell you I want one?"
David narrowed his eyes a bit. "Yeah . . ."
"And you know how you always point at the baby that's caught my attention and say ‘There it is, go take it?'"
Aw, shit, David thought to himself, I know where this is going. . .I do not like where this is going.
"Yeah, Marie, that is a funny little joke, huh? You know, babe, ha ha?"
"Well, I was in a toy store today, and I saw his little boy just wandering by himself, with nobody around, and I said to myself, "now there is a cute child," so I took your advice, and brought him home!"
"I see. . . "
"But after awhile he started screaming. Which really wasn't too bad at first. But he wouldn't stop. He was yelling for his momma and I couldn't get him to stop. He just kept screeching and yelling, and nothing I tried worked. He just wouldn't shut up!"
David stroked Marie's hair. "Yeah, kids do that."
"I just couldn't take it anymore. So I took care of it."
David walked over to the trash bag and stared down at it. He was tired dammit, and now he was looking at a long drive over into the next county. He cautiously nudged the bag with a toe. Not too squishy, but still. . .
"Did you double bag this?"
"Of course I did sweetheart. I'm not a total flake." Marie walked over and kissed the dragon tattoo on his bicep.
"As much as this needs to be taken care of, I'm tired and I'm starving. So lets have dinner first, and then we'll finish up, okay?"
"Sure, David, that's fine. And since you're such a swell guy, I'll even throw in a back rub at no extra charge." Marie kissed his cheek and walked out of the bathroom. "What do you want to eat?"
David nudged the bag again. "I would absolutely kill for a hamburger."
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Average Rating : 4.0
Total ratings : 1
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I Want One | Login/Create an account | 10 Comments |
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Re: I Want One
by Geist on Jan 06, 2003 - 01:56 AM
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Wonderful story Merry. I'd really like to see this one elaborated on. Delightfully twisted characters .
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Re: I Want One
by Squire-of-Gothos (Brian0049@hotmail.com)
on Jan 06, 2003 - 10:03 AM
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Oh how I love those twisted little tales. It was amazing. I was up at like 4 in the morning, bored as hell, and I said what the hell I'll read the story and go to bed. After the first 2 paragraphs, I was hooked. This stuff woke me up. Very kickass. Keep up the good work!
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Re: I Want One
by Sardonic-Pain (Lilgothicchicka@yahoo.com)
on Jan 06, 2003 - 12:24 PM
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i am in class bored as hell so it was delightful to read something that made my day brighter and oddly enough i have a craving for a hamburger.....
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The Other White Meat
by Monolycus on Jan 06, 2003 - 11:22 PM
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M_W, that was sick, twisted and amazingly well executed (no pun intended). I kept waiting for the catch... and it was only when I was nearly finished reading that I realised that the catch is that there isn't one. The natural flow of dialogue imposed over such an absurd event added tremendously to the surrealism. Very well done!
~Monolycus
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Re: I Want One
by xavriella on Jan 07, 2003 - 02:37 AM
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Hee hee... that's pretty f*cking twisted, but I mean that in the best possible way :) It's one of those stories that makes you feel bad for getting amusement from it! Hope to read more from you!
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Re: I Want One
by schmitty on Jan 11, 2003 - 12:15 PM
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i love the story...
very dark and twisted. great characters.
i luv the mental battle
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Re: I Want One
by PoeticChaos on Jan 16, 2003 - 10:05 AM
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twisted, but i'm picking up soemthign under the surface, like a hidden meaning or moral. but then again maybe it's cause school has cancelled i'm just bored to fucking death.
very nice, can't wait to read more
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