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Drama: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read |
Posted by
callei on Friday, September 27, 2002 - 04:01 AM PST
It is my great joy and my terrible misfortune to be adequately educated in my mother tongue and to enjoy the written word. The ambivalence that I experience when I approach the Internet is therefore, at times, quite severe. I have an ordered mind, logical and methodical as a rule, and I do not enjoy the chaotic, unordered and inefficient language employed by other native English speakers, or in this case writers, but like a train wreck, I do slow down to view the carnage.
If we define language as the symbols that a human mind uses to relate, understand, and communicate the stimuli that it perceives and the emotions that it feels, then the logical assumption is that the Internet is being overrun with monkey. These monkeys with keyboards, in conjunction with a supercomputer to read the resulting scripts there by produced, are producing the majority personal web pages, 30% of corporate web sites, and the vast majority of consumer sites. No rational, cogent human would use a phrase like " I am a combination of a few beers (although I cut my drinking down anywhere to drinking from 1-4 times a month), and lifting a few weights." to mean that he has recently lost some weight due to cutting back on his drinking and getting more exercise. Do I need to elaborate?
In majority, my job is to correct these little lapses, to add some order to the disorder of language, in short to be a grammar nazi. I delight in my job. It is entertaining, enriching, and offers many opportunities to expand my horizons. But then, for the most part, I edit scholarly works; text books, educational websites, research documentation, and the occasional fiction book.
In the course of my mental labors, I turn to the Internet for reference material frequently. When I need to find the exact date of the end of the 100 years war, when I need the exact spelling of Freud's wife's family name, when some article or other is referenced from some magazine or journal, when I need that name of the captain of the first ship on which Darwin traveled I turn to the Internet. As I spend so much time looking for such pages, I invariably find all sorts of other pages on the way. I amuse myself while the tortoise like pages of academia load by reading whatever other page may catch my eye, or as is more often the case, to pick between the worse excesses that catch my attention. I quantify these pages into categories like "insane monkey", "rabid, snail-brained mouth breather", and "should have their computer confiscated immediately and with extreme prejudice".
I am an avid reader, truly avid. I read, on average over the last 20 years, four books a week, some thousand pages of fiction and often a thousand of non-fiction as well. My job is also to read and I consume nearly an entire textbook a week, including the majority of articles and books (in synopsis or abstract form) as well. Add to that my frequent and copious visits to Shmeng, my own site, and correspondence to my family, friends, business associates, and clients, and you have a day replete in the written word.
I am also a published writer, having produced both fiction and non-fiction, and have been quoted in newspapers and journals. I write rants at Shmeng and my own site, I write reviews of texts and educational sites, business proposals, and grant applications. I write research papers for my own sociological research as well, but that is, as yet, unpublished. These are my credentials for critique of others.
Literature, like other art forms, requires study to appreciate it's splendor and it nuances to its fullest, and like other arts, it can be distained by even the least educated dullard. Our education system do not teach the appreciation of this art any more than they teach the love of any other art, barring perhaps the art of war. This is, to me, indicative of the decay in both our empire and our social system.
This may not strike some of you as shmeng, but I assure you that, to me, it is very shmengy. To be assaulted by badly written, inarticulate, hatemongering or febrile, insensate 'views' is almost intolerable on the best of days. On my less forgiving days, I copy the text from these personal sites, correct it, and send it to the author with my condolences and a plea to attend an English class at their local college.
The few members that have met me face to face or with whom I have had long online correspondences, will, I am sure be able to confirm that not only do I write copiously, albeit that that the words are infested with amusing typos, but that I am often stenatorial in manner and tone; that in fact, I am didactive and long winded.
This ignorance bothers me as much as mall rats bother bettie_x, drama bothers Devin, or agnostics bother Bible thumpers. I am frustrated that schools refuse to teach the one most important life skill, that parents are hindered by their illiteracy and thereby restrict their progeny with their example, and that the well-written word is shunned in business. And like bettie_x, Devin, and the Bible thumpers, I am dependant on it for my amusement and paycheck.
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Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read | Login/Create an account | 37 Comments |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read
by Ironboots on Sep 27, 2002 - 12:31 PM
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I heartily agree. People should learn grammar... and USE it. The occasional typo is not a grievous offense, yes, but when I visit a chat room, and every line is a verbal beating to the imaginary person who made English, it is wrong.
Of course, no politician/educator/administrator would make this their hallmark, because such a goal seems very small. The people want to hear about math and science scores, not writing... Who gives a rats ass about writing.
But reading and writing are key to learning other subjects. How are you going to dissect an intense physics book without a solid vocabulary? It'd take you an hour to get through the first paragraph. How are you going to prove that you're a hot shot mathmatician if you can't even write out a decent resume?
Oui... tv killed the book...
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read
by Merry_Widow on Sep 27, 2002 - 01:00 PM
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And in this room, we have 1000 monkeys working away at 1000 typewriters, soon to create the best novel known to man...
It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?!!
You stupid monkey!!!!
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Sep 27, 2002 - 06:47 PM
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The funny thing is, I have a friend that is from the slovak republic (exchange student that married one of my best friends! yay!) speaks FOUR languages...his native, english, german, and french.
And tho I can't understand the other three, I can understand english (most of the time, depending on who it's coming from) and he speaks it WAY better than anybody I know, myself included. He doesn't use sloppy conjunctions, he doesn't slur his words or speak "slang". And it irritates HIM that people that speak ONLY english can't even speak it correctly! He has an accent of course, but you can clearly understand him...and it just makes it that much funnier when he says "fuck".
I will go on a killing spree myself the day they make ebonics a legitimate "language" and have it taught in schools.
Excuse me, stewardess, *I* speak jive....
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Multilingual by KatB on Oct 02, 2002 - 02:59 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://www.magicka.net | Hah, I speak thai. And in two minutes you do to. Repeat after me:
Meaow mai mau.
That's all you'll ever need. It means the cat is not drunk. |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read
by Celria on Sep 28, 2002 - 02:04 AM
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I'm one of those people who makes no sence <--- note the bad spelling I try but I never try hard enough. people tell me that I speak beautifully, but I just can't write for crap *sigh* and i'm an avid reader! I mean I don't go through four books a week ( but I used to) but I read at phenominal rates and then can't get a thing down on paper or as it may be, computer.... well..... *sigh* if we are going to do simpsons quotes heres an appropriate one
me fail english?
thats umpossible!
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by MorteAscendo (corpsmanwix@aol.com) on Sep 29, 2002 - 07:41 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | Quoting the Simpsons? Tis a nice gesture, but you could have given the proper respects. Now your just unoriginal too... |
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this her is 'da 2 pennys i got
by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net)
on Sep 28, 2002 - 03:11 AM
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Where's the...um...metal dealy...yoo use to...dig...*motions with hand*...food?
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Re: this her is 'da 2 pennys i got by Merry_Widow on Sep 28, 2002 - 11:16 AM (User info | Send a Message) | You mean a spoon?
Yuh, yuh! |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Sep 29, 2002 - 09:04 PM
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I am a failure of America's modern system of education. But that is not important. What is important is:
Tommys from Yee Olde Engalonde should not say "mother fucker." This is only for Americans.
All the assorted wogs from America should not say "bloody." This is only for the English.
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Sep 30, 2002 - 04:34 AM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | BS!
"Bloody," "bugger," "piss-off," "felch," and "bollucks" are part of my daily vocabulary. That's right, I'm as American as Mom and Apple Pie and I cuss like a Brit. Got a problem with that? |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by KatB on Sep 30, 2002 - 04:51 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://www.magicka.net | As long as you keep that bleedin' PUMPKIN PIE outta my face, be all the friggin' apple pie you want ;-P |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Sep 30, 2002 - 08:27 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Mother fuckin lime eating pommy wannabe! I've got your reeboks and your colonies right here, Tommy! Wellington had you pegged from the get-go, cannon fumper! |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by AloneSoul (AloneSoul@hurting.com) on Sep 30, 2002 - 02:17 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | I say "ack" and "aye" alot...I'm Puerto Rican, makes no difference to me. I have a slight "Jyrsey" accent...yes, it is different from the New York accent.
Just also long as "u gyz hr dnt strt tu talk lik diz" then I'll be happy enough with our grammer. |
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Re: Words Words Everywhere and Not a Thing to Read by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 01, 2002 - 03:13 AM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | Yeah? SNARF MY YANKEE DOODLE yoo motherfucking, inbred, capitalist, carpet-bagging, eagle-worshiping, donkey-felching, rectal-faced, colour with no "u" spelling, banjo-playing, slave-owning, dual-action-monkey-dildo-asshole-wanker! |
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Geshuganah by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 01, 2002 - 03:18 AM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | And don't kvelch about my Yiddish either, yoo schnook. I'm about as Jewish as I am Brittish and I'll throw-out "oi" as much as I damn-well please! |
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Re: Geshuganah by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Oct 01, 2002 - 09:38 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Pfft! It's like sure, people don't want to be Jewish and still get their kids ritually mutilated and stunt their penile growth.
But what do I care? For I am a clean and natural man, a man with no regrets and even less ethics. I own slaves, oppress their former homelands after strip mining them, abuse drugs from impovershed nations to keep THousand-year-old monarchistic Spanish political systems in place, and do horrible, unnamable things to aniumals, pre-sexual humans, and certain vegetable groups.
But I am no damn Yank. I am no damn Mic. I am no damn Tommy. I am no damn Frog. I am no damn Nip. I am no damn Wog. I am no damn Whop. I am no damn Kraut. I am no damn Towlie. I am no damn Fauzzie. And, in the great final use of my amazing vocbulary of racist world war 2 defecations, I am no damn Frause. I am as far from Jewish as you can get, surgery included.
So go suck on an egg and port, imperialistic scum-dipper! Go build a f*ing colony! |
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Re: Geshuganah by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 01, 2002 - 11:43 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | Not a Yankee? Where are yoo from again? Nevada? The most American of all 50 states? Call me a "tourist" because I enjoy the one place in NV that isn't tugging on yor shlong to get yoo to cum dollars!
Bugger-off, Yankee! |
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Re: Geshuganah by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Oct 01, 2002 - 11:59 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Yeah, the most American. All the other states are for the people you mentioned earlier-- yankies. Who is the only state with enough balls to host all the Hell's Angels events, Street Thunder, Burning Man, and all those local festivals which you would get in the newsletter and need the guns and the drugs for if you actually lived here instead of were some Tommy wannabe from nowhere near the across the pond land-- The only state where you can carry a silenced, fully automatic concealed weapon. The only state with legalized prostitution(only in the counties under 20,000, h0 h0!). The state spearheading the movement to legalize Marijuana. And finally, the state that has to take the Nuclear waste from the rest of you irresonsible, energy-hogging states who can't seem to deal with your own problems and now have created a 3 billion dollar sotrage facility because we can't out-vote a wholly corrupt congress.
And if you think for a minute that Las Vegas is Nevada, that just goes to prove further that you are not only disrespectful but also innattentive. |
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Piss-Off by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 02, 2002 - 04:35 AM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | Just like a yankee, never knows when to shut up. A yankee who loves his guns, none the less.
I don't use drugs, yoo shmuck, if yoo think Burning Man is a drug festival that just shows what a shallow bastard yoo are. Oh, as long were talking about drugs, what cow anus were yoo reaching up to fish out the legalizing marijuana bullshit. Any amount of marijuana in Nevada is a felony! In MN, the cops don't even stop to look if yor puffing away while they walk by.
So show mee a state that talks about legalizing gambling and prostitution and I'll how yoo a state that's a friggin wallet vampire! That's right, suck them lower-class people dry, it's the American way!
Now why are they taking all the waste? Hmm, is it because of the relativly low population given the area, maybe it's because it's a hop skip and a go from the air force base, could it be because the DOE is turning it into enriched plutonium, or is it because the state is getting additional funding?
This is the crap I'm talking about, all yoo Yankees do is shoot and oppress people for their money! How is NV not the perfect illustration of that? And I've never even been to Vegas, but every gas station I went to housed a casino at least the same size as the convience-store part of it, so I think I can make that generalization! |
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Re: Piss-Off by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Oct 02, 2002 - 07:13 AM (User info | Send a Message) | Um... sorry Squid, but Nevada really is trying to legalize marijuana. They have a television ad campaign and everything...
http://www.reconsider.org/tidbits/2002-08-08_Big%20doings%20in%20Nevada%20!.htm
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Re: Piss-Off by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Oct 02, 2002 - 09:40 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Squid, you ignorant Yiddish-abusing wart. You have no idea about Nevada.
Nevada has no state income tax. Thanks to the Casinos, lower-class people can live here without the gov taxing their income dry, the only real wallet vampires there are.
Nevada, specifcally, Reno, started a campaign to help struggling artists by giving them quality housing at a discount. Yes, wallet vampires.
Now, sucking tourists like yourself-- who house outright ignorant and angry opinions of Nevada-- is not wrong, in my humble opnion. You ignorant fools who come out for burning man and shit in our backyard all you want and then ditch the mess the next day.
The other thing you fail to realize is for a short time before all the other states voted on it Nevada was in support of turning all that empty space in the desert into a massive solar power plant. For a little less than the same price of creating a nuclear waste storage facility-- You could create roughly a 13 gigawatt field of solar power plants. This idea was suggested but shot down by the other states because they only wanted to pay Nevada to irradiate the desert, not put filthy energy barons out of business who really run the show.
But you, squid, are an angry, ignorant, quite possibly extremely ugly person not only on the exterior but in personality. A gun is just a tool. I've given talks to this about people long enough to drain them of resistance and finally get them out to the firing range where they have fun. But I cannot help a person who has a prejudice against gun owners themselves and stereotypes them.
I will say this one last time-- praying that it catches somewhere in the back of that mind of yours-- Nevada is a good state. What you see in that "Push, Navahda" show and films about gambling addictions are simply not true. Very few casinos have any mob roots any more. We are not rednecks because we own guns. While you will generalize that opinion because we are "yanks," you should go bug the Swiss. Mandatory arms training at 15. Oh wait, I forgot, our High School ROTC programs do give mandatory arms and shooting training. I guess it's just because we're in America. Silly me.
Now go do that voodoo that you do so well. |
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Re: Piss-Off by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 02, 2002 - 05:06 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | A gun is not a tool, it is a weapon! Or are yoo the type that uses yor gun to open beer? The only tool in this conversation is yoo.
Sure I can go to the range and have fun but I'd also have fun rolling a tank down the middle of the street and firing the gun at whoever I please. Should we legalize tanks as well?
I've trained in martial arts to gain control over myself and to be able to survive despite all odds but all it takes is some paranoid bastard with an NRA sticker on his car to fuck everything-up.
I actually like NV quite a bit! I am simply trying to illustate that in NV more than any other state the "American Dream" can be seen for what it really is, selfishness!
I'm finnished with yoo, have the last word if yoo like. |
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Re: Piss-Off by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Oct 03, 2002 - 07:43 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | I'd love a fucking tank! Nothing gives me a hard-on like loading a 20mm shell and watching some honda civic on the road disintegrate a few seconds after the end passes through the front from the impact. |
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Re: Geshuganah by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com) on Oct 02, 2002 - 09:16 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://www.plynlymon.com | just a few facts here...
nevada only hosts a few hells angles events (http://www.hells-angels.com/events.htm) compared to other states. Its where the california gangs go when the coast gets to foggy.
"Street Thunder" is a name brand and "Street Vibrations" is the name of the quaint local bike fest. for information about the big fest go here (http://www.sturgismotorcyclerally.com/)
Burning Man (http://www.burningman.com/) has its headquarters in san fran. started there and potentially would still be there if they hadnt been doing something toxic to protected lands. in other words they are dumping thier shit there, the same as the Yucca mountain plan.
And speaking of Yucca mountain... It is on the border of california and is disputed reservation land. If Nevada would join forces with the people that had lived there longer, they might have a better chance of fighting it off.
Oh and about the CCW issue, 40 states still allow silenced, fully automatic concealed weapon. check to see if your state is one!(http://www.packing.org/states.jsp)
As for the legalization of pot, that movement has been going on for years and years, with other states already legalizing it for "medicinal" purposes while nevada lags behind and has only recently gotten the tv ads that other states have had for as long as 10 years. It is not a spearhead of the movement, merely phase 3 or 4 of the roll out.
just to interject some small amount of reality into this incipid "debate" |
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Re: Geshuganah by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Oct 02, 2002 - 09:51 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Oh here we go, reservations.
Street Vibrations, my bad.
I just recently complained that the burning manf estival just dumps their shit in the desert and barely cleans up-
They lost the war.
The tone of "still allow" always makes me feel eerily like calling the FBI down on you for a little investigation, but I hold off until better things and more opportune times arrive.
And the phase of that Nevada is in is true legalization-- technically, cocaine, morphine, most barbituates and all the goodies of steroids are illegal without a doctor's prescription. How many of those 10 states have been lobbying for those 10 years to allow private use in home by non-prescription owners? |
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Re: Geshuganah by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 02, 2002 - 04:54 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | Burning Man has a strict "leave no trace" policy. This means that Burners are asked to clean-up after themselves, the Black Rock DPW cleans-up afterwards, and then the NV DNR comes-in and inspects (at which point the 80 Acres crew may have to clean-up yet again).
For Burning Man 2001, there was an average of 3 milliliters of waste found per square meter in the busiest parts of the festival. What does this mean? It means, Burning Man is actually less polluted than the rest of the country! |
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Re: Geshuganah by MorteAscendo (corpsmanwix@aol.com) on Oct 02, 2002 - 06:45 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | I really hope that you guys arent fighting for real...i mean its a good arguement and it was cool to read...but for real...dont start calling names...Its just for shits and giggles.... |
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Re: Geshuganah by IamSquid (AAA@sockmonkeys.net) on Oct 02, 2002 - 11:25 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | He's enlisted and he wants peace? Most impresive.
I'll level with yoo, Morte, I don't really take Comedian that seriously because I understand how he operates. He knows that when I get started on politics, things can get out of hand. I realized he was pushing my buttons and I fell for it. Hardy har har!
If we were actually fighting I wouldn't have backed-out unless I got bored with the argument or if I knew was defeated (that'll be the day, in the unlikely event that I would be defeated I'd probably still think I'm right). |
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Re: Geshuganah by MorteAscendo (corpsmanwix@aol.com) on Oct 01, 2002 - 08:17 PM (User info | Send a Message) http:// | BRAVO!!!!! BRAVO!!!!! That was the best display of curse words that ive ever seen in my entire life.... |
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Re: Geshuganah by KatB on Oct 02, 2002 - 02:41 AM (User info | Send a Message) http://www.magicka.net | Hah, that is only because you a) haven't seen/heard me after a bottle of scotch and b) probably don't understand Norwegian ;-P |
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