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Re: Revision
by callei on Jul 13, 2003 - 06:31 AM
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Just a few thoughts here: Brookland was never like that, a place where "Aristocrats" lived and played. <a href="http://www.eagle2.american.edu/~dc6367a/brooklandpage.htm"> a bit of history </a>. If one is trying to write a period peice, one shouldn't use modern slang. and as a side note to your side note, lover still often meant "person that you are doinking" in America, but not in Brittan. And we are talking about America here, i think. After all The rates of declared out-of-wedlock pregnancy for white women were the same in 1850 as they were in 1970. Americans wed earlier, and often already with child, than thier British counter-parts in the "Victorian" times. I know there is a romantic perception that people stayed virgins until they married at 25-30 years old and this was sort of true for some segments of the population. In genral though, Americans have, and always have had, more non-married sex at an earlier age that any other "Western" country.
And the fact that you re-wrote it well enough to be almost engaging ( barring the weird and wrong word usages) just speaks of your skill as a writer, not at the value of the notes that you used.
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