no safe place Date Thursday, April 25, 2024 - 01:44 PM PST Topic Experiences This is my first shmeng article. I write so much to myself, explaining life and my theories. But I feel so much younger than all on this sight, and the older you are, the more you belittle those younger than you. If this article comes out well, I will try to write more articles here and finally express myself completely, and hopefully my articles will become more interesting. If this article does not come out well, I will crawl into a corner and eventually die in the fetal position. Wish me luck. Sometimes I wonder: am I the only one? Am I the only person that feels so dead? So alone? I hallucinate sometimes. Probably not what you're thinking of. I sometimes feel presences where I am, attacking me, following me. Not any type of ghost. It's all in my head but it seems so real. I see walls moving in wavy patterns. Reals walls, not real movements. I see things. I hear things. Half of it is probably not as bad as it seems. Last year, I started taking anti-depressants. That's nothing. Everyone and their mom is depressed. Only, last year, I thought my life was as bad as it could possibly become. I never imagined I might break down (shaking, crying, hallucinating: the whole shebang) only a year later. The point is, I suppose, that the worst possible pain for each person is the worst pain they have felt. If someone has had a perfect life, but one day lost their puppy, they would feel like a mother who lost their daughter. They would feel the same amounts of pain because that would be the worst pain they had felt. They would not know of a greater pain because that would be their greatest pain possible. Of course, this only lasts until something worse happens. Then, the pain seems worse but sometimes really isn't. Of course, I cannot speak for everybody. I am only me. I am not everyone else. And, this is a theory, not a fact. I have no idea where I am going with this. I have no idea where I'm going with myself. I only know that if I continue to write right now I will ramble forever with several points that probably wouldn't connect. So, there it is: my first, pathetic try. I'm sorry. This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=770