Relationships Pt. 2 Date Monday, April 15, 2024 - 09:53 PM PST Topic Experiences We've seen the description of how to do it wrong. Of the dissolution and breakup of any committed, monogamous relationship. It’s a pattern we’ve all seen repeat itself over and over and over, perhaps in our own lives, and perhaps sitting outside, laughing at others going through it. The question stands, then, is there a way to do it correctly? I would say yes, although for each person, there are thousands of possible variations. Here’s one, offered for your consideration. Route A- The Roundabout Way Round #1- The friendship. This round begins, as many interactions do, with the basics- name, interests, friends, etc. etc. An attraction is noticed, but ignored. You both go about your lives as before, and see nothing special happening. Round #2- The Gray Zone. Sure, you call them practically every day. Sure, you two have become attached at the hip. Sure, your other friends all give knowing glances when you refer to them, and sure, you can see yourself having hot, steamy, monkey sex with them and being comfortable waking up next to them. BUT IT’S NOT A RELATIONSHIP, as you tell yourself time and time again (usually while cuddling with that person). Round #3- Verification. This is where you verify that you are not in a relationship by breaking every rule known to humanity. You sleep with others. You ask for their help in hooking you up with other people. You ignore them. You dangle yourself in front of them, and never give it up. Yet for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to directly insult them, or to completely cut yourself off from them. Round #4- The Fight. This is the fun part. The knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling, blood-drawing, no-holds-barred fight. It probably happens when at least one, if not both of you, is of an altered state of consciousness—it could be alcohol, lack of sleep, cold medicine, whatever. Everyone cries, every little thing about the “friendship” is put on the chopping block, and neither of you get any sleep for that night. Round #5- The Friendship- Revisited. So you try it again. You agree that you won’t screw up the friendship with a relationship, that it wouldn’t work, but you still want to be friends. So, you give it another try. And within weeks, you spend more time together than you have with anybody else. There are boundaries to your physical relationship, boundaries that you try desperately to keep, but flirt with the line again and again. But it’s not supposed to happen like this. You aren’t dating… right? Round #6- The Breakdown. Whoever was holding out against a relationship breaks down. Suddenly, you’re dating your best friend. And, disturbingly, it works. There are still fights, disagreements, points of contention, but neither of you want to go back to the gray area. So, you work it out. Fifty years later, you are still trying to figure out how, exactly, it worked. This isn't the only way to go about it. But I've seen it happen, and work, more than once. This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=692