"May this serve as an embrace" Date Tuesday, April 23, 2024 - 12:02 PM PST Topic Experiences Squire and I have been delving into the Master/slave lifestyle recently. We took it seriously, but didn't realize how deep it went, I suppose. I'm new at this, that is to say we are new at this, together, and being the novices we are, we (foolishly) plunged head first into the lifestyle, eagerly. one. It started out calm, obeying simple commands. “You can sit, slave” or “Come to me, love” or “Do you need anything, slave?”. It was all very sensual and caring, with him paying every bit of attention to me. The comfort of his bedroom helped these soothing, placid demands lull me into “sub-space” lovingly. I hadn't been so familiar with the term sub-space as I am now. I didn't even realize when I was in it. I couldn't shake myself from it. It seemed to almost consume my entire being in ways I've never felt before. Such was trust and love I'd cloaked myself in that it seemed I hadn't the faintest where I was, or what I was doing. I was utterly helpless and reliant on my lover. I had let myself slip into a place from which I wanted no escape. Squire didn't see such responsibility coming, I fear, and Squire himself was in “dom-space”, completely assured that I was at his service due to his total control of me earlier. He also became more and more unaware of the need of any attendance to me. He was riding a high of self-confidence and trust. He too was blind. We drank, and sat with friends, subtly remaining in our world with whispered commands and furtive subservience. In hindsight, this decision was an undeniably clear mistake on our part. Every now and then I'd tempt him with a caress of his thigh or silently plead with him through body language to take notice of a need unfulfilled, but he'd have none of it. Choosing to, instead, focus on another submissive female we both knew and had an innocent crush on. I got the occasional grin in my direction but felt ignored, left alone in a place I thought we both wanted to share. Alas, drunk and accustomed to my submissive role, I said nothing. I knew none of his actions were intentionally meant to hurt me and understood he loved me. Those thoughts alone kept me quiet and obedient even though I was hurting and should've spoken up. Hours went by, sex was attempted and finally tears forced their way out of every timid word I spoke. I felt like I could hardly breathe, but the sudden, warm cradle he threw me into as he wrapped his arms around me calmed my panic. We then realized how hazy our mindset was and worriedly he began to talk me back into self-control. We were both very scared of ourselves and struggled to describe exactly how we felt about everything, laying new and clearer ground rules as we held each other. The whole night had been very turbulent and the patient understanding that rest within our embrace was more than comfort. It was love, and we felt it, warm like no other. We held it humbly and more respectfully than ever before in those moments. Tonight was intense; it was chaotic. I felt left behind as my thoughts and emotions playfully danced ahead of me...Now that I read that sentence it seems far too misleading. This night has been intense, indeed, and not without consequence. I feel terrible, I feel shredded mentally, and I can hardly grasp what kind of emotion I should feel, really...but I know enough to say it's not what I want this to feel like. All in all I feel as though this night was a necessary learning experience albeit a terrifying This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=670