How to get well laid Date Wednesday, April 24, 2024 - 04:16 PM PST Topic Smut Ok here is part two, how to get more than your rocks off with someone else. Now we are going to look at how to complicate sex by adding another person’s needs and wants, and your needs and wants. This is the sort of sex that does lead to relationships. Not always deep relationships or lasting ones, but relationships all the same. When you are mature enough to wake up with someone and want to wake up with them, then you are ready to get well laid. Know your limits I touched on this at the end of the last article, but only briefly and in terms of being ready to have sex with a stranger. Now that you know that what you really want is to get laid, not fill some emotional need left over from childhood or your recent break-up, you are ready to try to get well laid. Know what you want, know what you don't want, and most importantly, remember to communicate these things before you cross the threshold of your/their apartment, the hotel room, the bar bathroom, the back seat, or where ever this deed is going to be done. Although if you want my advice, in terms of well laid, the back seat of the car may not be your best bet. Be sure to trade ground rules before you even start to get down and sexy. If you want a wild (vanilla) ride, and they want to tie you down and pierce your nipples as foreplay, you may not be the right partners for each other. And if this is the case, try to remember that just because you are both horny, this does not bridge all gaps. In the brief scenario I've just laid out, one of you is either going to come out of the experience unfulfilled or rather intensely scarred. And if the shoes are reversed, the same rules apply. Don't think that once you are in bed together you can talk them into it. If they aren't into it, a one-night stand is not the place to introduce them to new things, not if you want to keep things one-night like... Know their limits When people try something new, they are prone to ascribe a level of significance to the first person with whom they try it. This is natural, but do you really want that to be part of a no strings attached night of sex and fun? Instead, aim for compatible partners with whom you can share the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of the kill without the added complication of trying something that you may or may not like. One more point about the dangers of new experiences. It may well be that you can talk them into it once the night has begun to heat up, but if you introduce them to something that they love in the moment, but hate in the morning, they may cry foul and then call the authorities, their muscular buddies, or their parents. And of course, this is about getting well screwed, not well and truly sued. If someone will not tell you what their limits are, you need to find them out. If you can’t, then it’s not going to be good sex. If you don’t know their limits, you STILL have to respect them. Not knowing what they are means you have to assume that you can’t do much more with them than missionary sex. Just get it over with and leave or kick them out (or better yet, kick them out and take a cold shower). Most people will say, “I’ll try anything” – but when you suggest something, their eyes get big and they look scared. Don’t just ask what they’re up for – make sure you know. Be willing to walk away Not every person that you meet will be truly compatible in bed with YOU. This doesn't make them bad people, but it does make them a bad bed partner for you. IF you cant agree to limits, think that they are going to over step the limits that you set, or overstep those limits once you start getting cozy then leave. Put your clothes back on and leave. Same thing goes if you feel that they lied in their limits and don't actually want to do things that they agreed to do. Put your clothes on, kiss them on the cheek and leave. Don't look back. Don't play with icky people This one is self explanatory, or you would think so. Actually its one of the hardest to learn. Knowing what you think/feel is an "icky" person takes time to learn. If your first impulse is to draw away then go with that. If your first impulse is shock, walk away. If your first impulse is "wow my friends would think they are cool!", go home. If you first impulse is to stare, with focused non-verbal thoughts (imagine images of their body dancing before your eyes) then talk to them. Once you are past the first impressions, that is when you start listening closely to what they say and don't say, do and don't do, and imply about themselves. Ask shocking questions, no really shocking ones, not just "so you like sex?". See the article Playing Games for some hints Don't play with drama cases Once they have started talking, LISTEN to what they say. Are they telling you all about their last 3 failed relationships? Their favorite TV show? Can they make complete sentences? What are they telling you about themselves? Things that are hard to believe? That they still live with their parents? That they really like you a lot, no they really mean it? Are they telling you anything happy? Only happy things? Is there some balance in what they are saying? Are they mood swinging right there in front of you? If they tell you good and bad things, can laugh at their own jokes as well as yours, tell you things that sound plausible about their own lives, and don't try to lead the conversation to places you don't want to go, you might have a possibility there. Don't play with the fearful This one is easy to explain, harder to figure out. People wearing a bondage collar, carrying a whip, and being catty because someone else isn't wearing enough clothes are fearful. Trust me on this one. People that talk about sex in detail, but wont touch you are fearful. People that have to get drunk to pick up on other people are fearful. There are lots of other hints that let you know that this person is out here for the wrong reasons and is better avoided. Why shouldn't you play with the fearful? They suck in bed, lie about things that they like and don't like, and are often hard to get rid of later. If they really are a switch, chances are good that they know which side of the whip they want to be on that night, and don't need to advertise it like that. People that are nervous to touch you when you are talking about sex are also going to be nervous touching you when you HAVING sex. People that have to get drunk often get whisky dick (girls and boys), reek of booze, and have no stamina. Don't lie For the same reasons that you don't want them lying to you about what they really want, don't lie to them about what you want, your experiences, desires, and if you think you are going to call them ever again. Don't lie to get someone into bed. It's not worth it unless you are leaving town the next day, are NEVER coming back, and know that they will never leave that town or make friends with people outside of that town. If you lie about what you want, you will get what you ask for and not what you want. What is the point in that? You are screwing yourself out of a good time, and possibly them too. If you lie about what you can or like to do, you may have to do something that you don't like. Again why bother? If you lie about what you know how to do, again you make have to prove it. Embarrassing at best. If you've reached the point where you are talking about these things, you're already going to get laid - impressing them at this point is useless. Impress them later in bed with enjoying it to the utmost. Don't pretend Don't pretend that you like someone more that you do. Don't pretend that you like something someone is doing if you don't. Don't pretend that you are satisfied if you are not. Don't pretend that you are more sober or drunk than you really are. Don't pretend that you do this all the time if you don't. Don't pretend that you like the music if you don't. Be are real as you can in that artificial setting and you attract people that also are trying to be real. Real people are better in bed. If you pretend you are what you think the person wants, the only possible outcome is that they are going to remember you as a big disappointment. If you don't pretend, then you will attract people who will be impressed and think highly of you afterwards. And yes this is like lying, but softer. It's the social niceties that get in your way here. Be polite, by all means, but don't go as far as white lies if you can help it. And you can help it. The more honesty you use, the less there is for them to misunderstand, the less you will have to apologize about later, and the less you will have to put up with things you don't like. Don't leave before morning If its good sex you are after, set aside enough time to have GOOD sex. Remember that the first bit will be more awkward and thrilling than the rest of the night. But one orgasm doesn't good sex make. Once you are both over the initial feverishness, then the fun starts. That is when you get to really explore each other, see what really works for you both, and get some serious sex time in. and if you stay until the morning, you can have morning wake up, move to the shower, pause to eat something, cum screaming sex. This is some of the best sex to be had. Don't make promises Don't promise to call. Don't promise to care or respect them. Don't promise that you will care about them in the morning. Don't promise that you are on the pill, that the condoms are fresh, or that you are over that embarrassing rash. Just do it. Call if you can, respect them and care about them as much as you really do. Be sure you are on the pill, that the condoms and dams are fresh. Be sure you aren't contagious with anything. This includes head colds for those of you that are hard of thinking. Don't do something/someone you don't want to do This is the MOST important thing. Don't do anything that you don't want to do with someone you don't want to be doing. That is where it stops being sex and becomes something else. If you feel uncomfortable with someone that you are chatting up, walk away. If you are in bed with someone and they are pressuring you to do something that you have already said you don't want to do, or have decided that you don't want to do with them, say no. If they wont take no, get up and leave. Don't do it. Its not worth the stress unhappiness, bother, or medications. Now that you have had good sex, sex that fulfilled something more than just a basic urge to cum, you are perhaps ready to start thinking about complicated sex. One of the forms that complicated sex can take, and usually does, is group sex. In the next article I will talk about how to get laid by more than one person at a time. It builds on the stuff in this and the preceding article, and a whole bunch of other articles and forums on this site. Written by (in alphabetic order) callei, Devin, and Shade This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=649