I hate people that wear collars and act all “BDSM” when it is clear that they aren’t, especially the ones that walk up to me and kneel in front of me out of the blue. Get a grip. I didn’t collar you, I am not your wet dream, and, frankly, I have better things to do that sort out the confused and unformed lusts of a newbie that is sooo new that they don’t even know enough to ask first. Just to be really clear here, that is not “flirting” that is being a demanding twit and shows that you have no concern or care about the person that you are attempting to burden with your petty wants and needs.
I hate people that have just found that they get more out of sex when its kinky and want to tell me all about it. Like I care enough to listen, and applaud. I am way more likely to point out where you messed up, left damage (emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual), and why you should shut up and go apologize to your partner. And put the whip down or I will use it on you and you may love me after, but you will hate me during. I can promise you that.
I think it gets to me more when it’s a “goth” person because I expect more from them, like that they have read a book or two in their lives or something.
I LOVE people that ask me “what is it like?” or tell me “ I tried something and wow was it neat! Can I talk to you about it?” or “I am thinking about (insert idea here) a lot and I don’t know what to do about it.” I can work with that. I can be supportive, instructional (giggle), and help them over some of the rough and disorienting bits of changing their own worldview and accepting themselves.
Recently a dear friend of mine called Shade and I her “leather parents” and promised me a mother’s day card. If I ever caught her kneeling to some total stranger, I would kick her. Not just because she is a top (and I darned good one I am proud to say), but because it would mean that her brain had totally deserted her and she needed someone to knock some sense back into her head.
There is a reason that I am the Mistress of Orgies here people. I know what I am talking about. And you don’t. I don’t mean that in a cruel way, it’s just true for a lot of you. You know what YOU mean, but not what anyone else means and you endanger yourself and others with that ignorance. And that makes me want to kick you too. I know you are smart enough to think it through and read something and ask other people. And yet you don’t.
I am assuming that you, the reader, knows what the social meaning of these words mean and that I don’t have to explain sadism or submission to you. If you don’t know, are unsure, or are only working from your own feelings then I strongly recommend reading a few books, websites, and some erotica. Then talking to people about what you have read so that you can see where your meanings are different than those of your peers and support group and, if you are lucky, your dating pool. Ask me and I can send you a list of link, a reading list, and some great sites, If you are over 18/21 (depending on the laws in your area).
