Why a toothless hillbilly is better than you Date Friday, April 19, 2024 - 10:31 PM PST Topic Music I’ve been thinking more about culture lately and how and why we’re losing it. The first part of this theory is a reasonable assumption about why a culture survives and why it dies. Cultures survive the same way a species does. The stronger cultural elements are passed on to the next generation while the weaker ones are forgotten. Hillbillies get their cultural elements by learning the songs and the stories. We get our cultural elements from television and shows that are broadcast once, or if they’re lucky – reruns. One of the problems with this is that the stories that are actually true, don’t usually make it into reruns, but the fictional ones do. So the question is, how are we supposed to remember important things if all of the pieces that make up our culture are fictional? (Read my article "Why Hoax Rose Red" for more of this thought). Our songs don’t have the same dual purpose that redneck songs do. Our songs are just for entertainment, not to archive past events. Our past events are taught to us in school. Since by the end of high school, we have 12 times as much education as the average redheck, they have found other ways to learn themselves stuff. Of course, if you’re like me, you slept through most of your history classes. There is no way we’re going to remember stuff that’s presented in this way. It’s like forcing culture down our throats. And it will probably work about as well as it did for the Christian Missionaries, although the results might not be as interesting as Santaria. Why do you suppose hillbilly folk heroes are remembered for hundreds of years, but ours are remembered for fifteen minutes? I’ll get to theirs in a few, but I should give an example of ours first. Does anyone remember that guy that cashed that junk mail check that said he may have just won a hundred and something thousand dollars? It happened ten or so years ago and was all over the news. He just threw that check in with his deposits, and the bank fucked up and cashed it. Then he refused to give it back for a while since the law said the money was his based on the way the check was written and how long it took the bank to catch the fuckup. I don’t know about you, but that guy is one of my heroes. Nobody I know has ever heard of him though, and I’ll admit I don’t remember his name. Here is an example of a song that every hillbilly who’s ever sat on a back porch with a banjo knows by heart. Jesse James was a lad, he killed many a man He robbed the Glendale train He took from the rich and he gave to the poor He'd a hand and a heart and a brain Oh, Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life Three children they were brave But that dirty little coward that shot Mister Howard He laid poor Jesse in his grave It was on a Saturday night and the moon was shining bright They robbed the Glendale train With the agent on his knees, he delivered up the keys To these outlaws Frank and Jesse James The people held their breath when they heard of Jesse's death They wondered how he ever came to fall Robert Ford, it was a fact, shot Jesse in the back While Jesse hung a picture on the wall Oh, Jesse was a man, a friend of the poor He'd never rob a mother or a child He took from the rich and he gave to the poor So they shot Jesse James on the sly Well, this song was made by Billy Gashade As soon as the news did arrive He said there was no man with the law in his hand Who could take Jesse James when alive Ok, now think about it. What person from our culture has a song that everyone knows which tells why they were famous, what they accomplished, how they died, and what people thought about their death? Major Tom maybe? Can you think of anyone who’s not fictional? For those of you who aren’t familiar with the debate over the origins of the word hillbilly, some people think it simply comes from the fact that they’re always singing about some guy named Billy. On closer inspection this Billy seems to be Prince William of Orange who defeated King James II at the Battle of the Boyne, Ireland in 1690. Yep, they’re still singing about a guy who their ancestors thought was cool 300 years ago. Whether or not that is true, musical historians agree that their music definitely has celtic origins – so it’s not much of a stretch to think that the lyrics are as old as the music. Do you think anyone will be singing about you in 300 years? Probably not, but don’t worry – it probably doesn’t have much to do with how cool or uncool you are. This article comes from Shmeng http://www.shmeng.com/ The URL for this story is: http://www.shmeng.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=425