MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 18/1/2006 at 09:10 PM |
Post your unix jokes here (or other computer related jokes):
$ man woman
No manual entry for woman ____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/1/2006 at 05:45 AM |
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.
% (-
(-: Command not found.
% sh
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/1/2006 at 06:05 AM |
UNIX is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are. ____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 19/1/2006 at 06:53 AM |
Most people don't even get this one.
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/1/2006 at 04:44 AM |
Thats funnier than I expected it to be
10 Ha
20 Goto 10
____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world. |
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Devin
Administrator Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
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posted on 12/2/2006 at 01:26 AM |
http://www.jestsandjokes.com/show.php3?joke=133
http://elvis.rowan.edu/~kilroy/Other/unixjokes.shtml
E Pluribus Unix ____________________ So Sayeth Me |
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/2/2006 at 11:46 AM |
Here is something that amused me, just because it is such a simple, fun
thing. A poem using a selection of symbols used in unix.
' "...a poem we think is about the lowly wahka. Maybe. Well,
perhaps---we're really not sure what the poem actually is
about. Here it goes:"
<>!*''#
^@`$$-
!*'$_
%*<>#4
&../
|{~~SYSTEM HALTED
Transliterated:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret at back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat tick dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka number four,
Ampersand right-paren dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket tilde tilde CRASH.' ____________________ Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world. |
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gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 27/2/2006 at 01:00 PM |
that is so cool - it sounds like something Dennis Lee would write |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/2/2006 at 12:02 AM |
that's denis leary... and it doesn't sound like anything he would write... ____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/2/2006 at 01:59 PM |
No, its Dennis Lee. and it does sound like sometihng he would write. Though
it definitly doesn't sound like something Dennis Leary would write.
This one especially is what that poem reminded me of - he
writes fun bouncy type rhyming childrens stuff though he has an amazing and
vast serious side.
and he isn't anything like Dennis Leary.
::Edit:: and when i say Dennis Leary, I mean Denis Leary. They arn't even
spelled the same way. This is a pretty dumb mistake for you to make Feral.
Normally I would have expected at least a tiny bit more research out of
you.
[Edited on 2/28/2006 by gothicmorman] |
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14mw6014m
Coward Posts: 3 Registered: 14/2/2006 Status: Offline
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posted on 9/3/2006 at 08:02 PM |
When in doubt GREP it...
In the UNIX API about creating 'children' is a bit messed up.
Fork() call will make children proccess and there will be a parent.
When the child process is 'idle' it must be removed.
So Fork()ing leads to Children. When they are idle they are killed.
In Windows these are threads. ____________________ ~ I am who I am~ |
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Rogue
Member Posts: 199 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/3/2006 at 10:10 PM |
Okay, not so much a joke I hope. I was preparing for the new production
update of http://www.53.com, where I work these days, and I suggested that
we back up all previous files to /dev/null (since it has plenty of space)
in case we have to roll back the changes. Everybody, including my boss,
agreed that was a good idea. ____________________ Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time. |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 18/3/2006 at 10:35 PM |
okayy... well... I REACENTLY heard someone say DENNIS LEE that guy that
wrote teh asshole song... sorry for assuming that the same thing had
happened here ____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 20/3/2006 at 04:50 PM |
Need a little UNIX help?
Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code
of a program ?
UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.
Customer: No, what is it ?
UNIX consul: Yes.
Customer: So, which is the one ?
UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo'
to get information about yoo'.
Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX consul: Use 'what'.
Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?
UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer: Which one ?
UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program?
How do I find it?
UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.
Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Customer: I want to find the revision code.
UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'
Customer: Which command will do what I need?
UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on
your system.
Customer: Write what?
UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer: Cut that out!
UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.
Don't forget the options.
Customer: Do you always do this ?
UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer: HELP!
UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Customer: You make me angry.
UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname'
when I was upset once.
Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'.
Every system has 'more'.
Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not
allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is
a file name.
Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.
Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team. |
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Devin
Administrator Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
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posted on 22/3/2006 at 02:30 PM |
MystryssRavynDarque: 5 is 101
Devin: yay - you are now nerdier than 01100011 % of the population
MystryssRavynDarque: 6 is 110
MystryssRavynDarque: 7 is 111
MystryssRavynDarque: 8 is 1000
MystryssRavynDarque: 9 is 1001
MystryssRavynDarque: 10 i 1010
Devin: yep - lookit you - counting on your bits ____________________ So Sayeth Me |
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