I'm posting this as a newbie because I have no doubt in my mind that I am
exactly that. I have no delusions of granduer that tell me I'm part of the
inner circle of this site. Or even that my words mean a shit to anyone or
anything that visits these pages. I spend a great amount of time trolling
the forums reading what people say and never adding my two cents. Mostly
because I believe that it is best to speak upon things you have knowledge
in or that you are in involved in. I don't believe in opening my mouth just
to hear something come out. Or in this case, move my fingers just to see
words appear on the screen.
Now I say this from the reality that is my life. I am well known for
pointing out the obvious to people and now I will do exactly that.
Since the site has been down and now back up I have been away mostly.
Specifically because I have spent most of my time working, sleeping and
spending time with two people who have become very very close friends and
have, therefore, taken away all of my extra time to be online or spend with
my boyfriends who are feeling rather jealous. Due to this I have returned
to see the posts recently made and I am honestly scratching my head.
It is a reality of social interraction that not everyone is going to
conform to your idea of tolerable. There are always going to be faults and
dislikes of things that people do or say. Personally, when I come across
someone who hits that certain thread of announce, I ignore them entirely. I
don't read what they write. My eyes do not recognize their words.
So I guess I should get to my point of this post...
What is the point of pointing out what is wrong with everyone here? So
someone posts the obvious over and over again. It is at least the obvious.
Do we hope to replace those who have at least been tolerable with all out
trolls of summer break? Is the point to run off the trolls by making
ourselves look harsh to even our friends?
I'll be the first one to admit my faults. I have a MAJOR self esteem issue.
I like who I am on the inside but not what others see on the outside. I'm
overweight in my eyes. I've been ridden hard and put out to dry in truth.
I've been cut with knives, burned, hurt and I have major trust issues. I
feel unloved most of the time but I know I'm loved so I kick myself harder
for being there.
I guess my point is that this site is not a goth site. This site has
appealed to me because I see people here like me. People who are
alternative but not goth. People who don't fit into any specific group or
cliche. But it does not encourage those of us who are so sick of not
fitting into other groups because of our "inability to be like others" to
see other people who are actually like us ripping each other apart for
being something others don't understand!
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
Monolycus
Fanatic
Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:27 PM
Rayce: We've all got faults. Except for that one guy... and, frankly, I'm
getting pretty sick of his attitude. Anyway, I wouldn't fret too much
about anyone's opinion. I've taken the approach that if I am being a
problem to the operation of the site, then somebody should bring it to my
attention privately and/or cancel my account. Just make sure your password
still works and screw the idea that everyone is going to like you.
If you're looking for reassurance here, you seem savvy enough to me. You
should sleep just fine.
~M.
____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:31 PM
First of all, Rayce, even despite yor relativly short membership here on
Shmeng I think yoo are an excellent example of somebody who fit in
immediatly and I myself never considered yoo a newbie.
Second of all, I think what is currently going on is constructive. And by
this I mean destructive. I see it as a trial by fire for the entire site.
Basicly we're all going to have a brief trip through hell and then
everything will be nice again so I'm going to enjoy it because I doubt
anybody's going to say anything I will take personally. The worst that can
happen to mee is I could miss out on what people actually think about
mee.
I like pretty much everybody here (at least everybody of note) but that
doesn't change that I still have problems with plenty of people here. I
feel We're all adults here (and those of Us who aren't are mature enough)
and we can get past the bullshit.
But then I'll admit this could go horribl wrong. What can I say, I think
it's worth the risk. It's better to burn out than to fade away.
____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic
Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:31 PM
quote:Rayce: We've all got
faults. Except for that one guy... and, frankly, I'm getting pretty sick
of his attitude. Anyway, I wouldn't fret too much about anyone's opinion.
I've taken the approach that if I am being a problem to the operation of
the site, then somebody should bring it to my attention privately and/or
cancel my account. Just make sure your password still works and screw the
idea that everyone is going to like you.
If you're looking for reassurance here, you seem savvy enough to me. You
should sleep just fine.
~M.
I think you misunderstand my point. I'm not pointing out one person at
fault but many. This isn't just this one recent thread that has caused so
much hurt but a long string of them I have seen since the trolls came back
for summer break.
It just seems that everyone gets in this attack mode and keeps going even
when there is no one to attack.
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:36 PM
I can see where both of you are coming from. I was a little surprised to
see the names of the pantheon and non-pantheon but still established mmbers
turn up in Tough Love. I had thought the forum was reserved for rants
counted by the paragraph, not by the sentence.
However, most of what I think you're objecting to, Rayce, IS a few
sentences here and there. The sentence-long ones aren't trolls or twits,
and while I think things might be shaky for a bit, I don't think all the
luvvin everyone is receiving will make a lasting impact on anyone except
the ones who get rants measured in paragraphs.
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
Alugarde
Member
Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 11:37 PM
Eep. I took too long to type my reply. In case the mistiming of my post
made it unclear, by "both of you" I was referring to Rayce and Mono.
[Edited on 7/6/2004 by Alugarde]
____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions.
angel_of_death
Member
Posts: 119 Registered: 4/4/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 12:11 AM
quote:I guess my point is that
this site is not a goth site. This site has appealed to me because I see
people here like me. People who are alternative but not goth. People who
don't fit into any specific group or cliche.
i agree, alternative but not goth, i think you really hit the target with
that one.
____________________ I know whats it like to want to die, how it hurts to smile, how you try to
fit in but you can't, how you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill
the pain in the inside.
rayce: you have proven yourself beyond a newbi... and i know that was not
your point...
the purpose for such a thing was not attack mode, though it may look like
that... the purpose of a forum like that is to remind EVERYONE why we came
her in the first place...
and catharsis... frankly... certain things NEEDED to be said... others did
not... I'll be honest when I say... I am surprised that there was only one
complaint about me... and it was not my behavior that triggered it...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic
Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 01:22 AM
quote:Second of all, I think
what is currently going on is constructive. And by this I mean
destructive. I see it as a trial by fire for the entire
site.
That is a good point there and a very true one. I can see that such a trial
by fire cleans out those who will take offence to constructive advice
pointed at them but the words I have seen have not been visually offered as
constructive advice. It just seems that many are going 'yeah.. this person
annoys the fuck out of me and has no point to their existance'. It just
seems harsh.
But again.. this opinion is coming from a newbie (and yes.. no matter what
everyone says.. I am a newbie in that I do not understand the dynamic of
this site and the interaction of those who have been here much longer than
I). This may have been a long "NEEDED" point for everyone but I just wanted
to point out how it appears to those of us who are not involved in it.The
entire thing just seemed harsh.
And again, as a newbie, I have no idea if this is normal here or not. If
this is normal than I guess I will get used to seeing it over time. I
definately won't have a problem with people pointing out my faults and will
read over these listed faults with true open mindedness. But the
presentation of the faults plus the presentation of responses to those
faults just seemed very harsh to me.
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
rayce... I have seena few purges... and I still am baffled by some
interactions on the site... one thing that you must learn... if you are
told by the oldsters that you are not newbi... you are not... your posts
are of a consitstent ethos, well thought out and you contribute to the site
as a whole... you avoid noisy idiot admirably...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Monolycus
Fanatic
Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:27 AM
Rayce: I think you misunderstand my point. I'm not pointing out one
person at fault but many. This isn't just this one recent thread that has
caused so much hurt but a long string of them I have seen since the trolls
came back for summer break.
It just seems that everyone gets in this attack mode and keeps going even
when there is no one to attack.
Yeah, I probably missed the point. I also haven't figured out where that
icon is that lets me quote people. Anyway... maybe closer to the mark this
time...
I've seen people get their panties bunched here many, many, many times.
Unwarranted attacks against the first thing they see standing, or they pull
you out of a dead sleep and use your screen name in vain when you wait
quietly for them to blow themselves out. It seems pretty harsh to the
untrained observer, but it never amounts to more than a few weeks of
pissiness and low blows followed by a few days when everyone congratulates
themselves on who got to be the nastiest. My first post nearly got me run
off as a troll when I suggested that everyone should try being a little
less vitriolic. Happens.
I've adopted the attitude that, when the majority here start having a heavy
flow month, it's not worth raising your blood pressure over. Either they
are serious, or they are joking/ full of shit/ themselves. There's no
reason to be upset by someone who is joking/full of shit/themselves;
there's also no reason to be upset by someone who is serious, but whose
opinion you never cared about in the first place. If someone cares about
you, they will mention your flaws to you privately and not in a public
shmeng fling. If they don't care, they aren't worth validating by getting
bent out of shape over. Just ride it out.
And, to reiterate, you're doing fine.
~M.
____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again."
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic
Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:36 AM
quote:Yeah, I probably missed
the point. I also haven't figured out where that icon is that lets me
quote people.
There is a little button on the bottom of every reply to a thread that say
"quote". Just remove what you don't want to be seen between the quote and
/quote areas.
quote:And, to reiterate, you're
doing fine.
I prefer to feel humble. If I didn't then I would have a big head from all
the big compliments I have gotten over the years from my photography as
well as the comments from people that I am an "enlightened individual".
Because to be humble to me is to grow. That is my way.
I will probably always consider myself a newbie here. It keeps me in
perspective.
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
that is an enlightened way to view the world... I have my own version of
it... I am like the big bad wolf or the troll uunder teh bridge... it is my
lot in life to grab the morons on hte bridge... and the pigs in houses and
skirts of straw
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 08:05 AM
Racye, if it makes any difference, it IS all harsh and mean. Some of it may
even be cruel and hateful. That is because some things about a person arent
going to change and we have to love them anyways. its good to not pretend
those things that are less loveable to the other person (or people) dont
exist. This purge stuff does happen, and it happens about once a year. the
one time we didt have it, the site almost died completely.
I hate being called names and hated by people that havent even met me. I
hate being taken for granted by people that dont ever say thank you. I hate
being called on to be the bad guy for other peope so they dont have to be
hated for saying the "mean" things that need to be said. and yet i still
come here and i still do it. and sadly everyone that does meet me gets to
hear (at some point) me whining about shmeng and how its become so strange
and how no one ever sends in anything "good"( please keep in mind that "no
one ever" is a total emotionally based exageration)
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic
Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 7/7/2004 at 06:22 AM
I guess it makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. I mean, it is a
great chance for everyone to get things off their chest that have been
driving them crazy about others on the site. I can see were this would be a
good thing. I'll get used to it I'm sure. And I'm sure I'll even become a
target someday. LOL
____________________ Suicide Hotline - Please Hold