I don't usually post email forwards, and most people have probably seen
this - but this one just fits in too well with the vibe of the site, and I
had to post it. If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's
customer service then you will really appreciate this.
------------------------------------------------------------
My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March
for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late
fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00...now
was somewhere around $60.00.
I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."
CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report
her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
CitiBank:"...excuse me .....?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being
dead?"
CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" ...."Are you her lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... )
CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )
( After they get the fax. )
CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."
Me: "Oh..."
CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."
Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep
billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...."
CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"
CitiBank: "That might help."
Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number
given.)
CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"
____________________ So Sayeth Me
Merry_Widow
Fanatic
Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 5/10/2003 at 09:45 AM
*giggle...snicker...snort* Bahahahahahaha!!! Oh, priceless. Das just
funny.
____________________ Okay, dazzle me.
Sardonic-Pain
Fanatic
Posts: 248 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/10/2003 at 10:01 AM
::giggles:: i needed that lol that was great...but that poses a
question...what does he do with dead people on his planet? ::arches one
brow:: dun da dun
____________________ My Life is like a porno-Without the sex-Just the weird music
ariadne
Member
Posts: 107 Registered: 26/9/2003 Status: Offline
posted on 5/10/2003 at 11:42 AM
laughter.
seriously,i know of creditors actually serving dead people ordering them to
appear in court.hehehestop the madness!
This reminds me of a tasteless lawyer joke. Hmmm...I'll tell it anyways.
Q:What the deferance between a hooker and a lawer? A: A hooker will stop
screwing you when your dead.
____________________ co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/10/2003 at 07:17 PM
I don't know if it's appropriate to do so at a time like this, but I did
laugh...
just realized it wasn't YOUR aunt...
[Edited on 10/7/2003 by Xaoswolf]
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 7/10/2003 at 01:44 AM
That reminds me of when my father passed on and I tried to have his phone
disconnected. They kept stating how he would have to call himself to have
it disconnected as it was in his name. So I asked them if they expected him
to come up out of the grave and give them a phone call, and they sort of
giggled and said that it might help. They said that the only way they would
disconnect it without my father calling them, was if the bill was left
unpaid for a long enough period of time, then they would disconnect it for
non-payment.
[Edited on 10/7/2003 by Starlight]
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
Anya
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 8/10/2003 at 06:25 AM
My God...lmfao. That was just bad.
Anything else that happened after that, may I ask?
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 9/10/2003 at 02:26 AM
Well Anya, shortly thereafter I'd moved and moved my mom in with me and the
phone was under my name. So when she moved into her own place again, she
was able to get her phone set up under her name. My dad's bill sits in
oblivion as far as I know.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've
never
tried before." ~Mae West
chameleon
Member
Posts: 83 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 10/10/2003 at 10:46 AM
Billing the dead?... Shocked, appalled, and humoured at this... As George
Carlin once said, "What's this favouritism towards the dead?" They seem to
be the topic of conversation lately; OR, my class could just be finishing
up discussing Hamlet, but anyway... I once heard that a court case was held
in which someone was suing dead people, but because the dead couldn't
respond to questions the case was overturned. (is that the correct term,
overturned?)
____________________ The perfect mind is like a mirror. It grasps nothing. It expects nothing.
It reflects but does not hold. Therefore, the perfect man can act without
effort.
~Chuang Tsu
BlueLinn
Fanatic
Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 13/1/2004 at 03:31 PM
hehehehe....
lovely
____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began?
thefacelessunholy
Occasional Poster
Posts: 21 Registered: 10/1/2004 Status: Offline
posted on 13/1/2004 at 07:39 PM
I had the exact same problem when my great grandmother died back in 2001.
Since my mother was the only one they could reach, they called our home.
She wasn't home, so I picked up. When I talked to the receptionist, I tried
to explain to her that my 92-year-old great grandmother had been dead for
two months, then asked them how they couldn't have figured it out. We had
talked with her lawyer and everything. Damned argument lasted ten fucking
minutes before she just gave up. It's sort of the "hole in the bucket"
effect while you're talking to someone who just doesn't get it
____________________ Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And I am too
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 13/1/2004 at 09:27 PM
That was pretty sweet...
Heh...actually had to share that one around ma house...
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
BlueLinn
Fanatic
Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 15/1/2004 at 01:20 PM
it's ok, apparently some fuck wit collection agencies actually think they
can collect from the afterlife...
and then you get the comercials on tv telling you how "with this life
insurance policy you won't be a burden to your family after your dead"
... If I were british,, this would apply...
Heartless Wankers...
____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began?