What do you get when you cross Lee Iococca with a vampire?
AUTOEXEC.BAT
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
KatB
Fanatic
Posts: 241 Registered: 16/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 11/12/2002 at 03:27 AM
OK - this is definatly NOT a goth joke, but I think it is so goddamn funny
(in a very very sad way...) I just had to post it! Some of you must have
seen it before - it is in "everybody's" mailboxes here, it is even posted
on our largest newspaper's web-page.
(Europeans aren't too impressed with your president either...)
Subject: George Hu?
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader
of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of
milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe
we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can
you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
(HU'S ON FIRST - By James Sherman)
____________________ All stressed out and no one to choke...
KatB
Fanatic
Posts: 241 Registered: 16/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 21/3/2003 at 02:33 AM
Inner peace
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked
for me.
By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have
finally found inner peace ... It read:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things
you have started."
So, today I have finished my bottle of vodka, my bottle of
red wine, my old bottle of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a
small box of chocolates, and a quart of Rocky Road ice
cream.
You have no idea how good I feel.
Pass this on to all those in need of Inner Peace
____________________ All stressed out and no one to choke...
/>
ariadne
Member
Posts: 107 Registered: 26/9/2003 Status: Offline
posted on 2/10/2003 at 06:04 PM
stop me if you have heard this one.
goth girl dies and goes to heaven and she meets peter at the pearly gates.
beyond the gate she sees a figure, she cries and asks peter,"is thaT ANDREW
ELDRITCH? oh no, he can't be dead. " peter replies,"no that's just god
pretending to be andrew eldritch"
____________________
BlueLinn
Fanatic
Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 18/1/2004 at 08:51 AM
:snicker:
____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began?