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Alugarde
Member Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 8/7/2004 at 03:34 PM |
Ok, in the past year my theatre has started writing down stupid thing
customers have said in what we call the quotebook. We're at about
two-sixty-something right now. Not too long ago, I added the book's first
page and a half quote, followed by a half page of comments on how this
woman is the bane of all theatre employees and how I have received massive
brain damage from speaking with her. It went something like this.
Woman: What movies have no one in them? (What? Do you want to have sex in a
theatre? I check and see that no theatres are empty. When I tell her this,
she says..)
Woman: Oh, well then Soul Plane will come on again in time right?
Me: What?
Woman: It'll come on again right? The 11:20?
(Oh. She's referring to what is, despite the name, a midnight movie. I
spend a good three to four minutes explaining and repeatedly re-explaining
to this woman and her husband the concept of midnight movies, explaining
that we only play midnight movies on friday and saturday nights, and
reassuring them that the existance of midnight movies in no way keeps the
regular movies from playing on the correct times or dates.)
Woman: Well what movies are left?
Me: All of our movies are in their last showing.
Woman: Oh, then why am I here talking to you then? You just want me to keep
you company, don't you? (I force a smile. At about that time, she looks
down, and sees the quotebook, sitting open on top of my Japanese book)
Woman: What's that you're reading (I try to think of something to say to
keep from explaining to her that it's a book filled with things idiots like
her have said, but I've never been good at coming up with lies under
pressure, so, while my mouth opens, I don't say anything.)
Woman: Something for school?
Me: (Yea! That's it! I slide the quotebook away and show her my Japanese
book.) Japanese.
Woman: Oh! Say something! Tell me how to say "cherry".
(She puts a weird inflection on it that hints at what I fear she has on her
mind. I can't quite remember how t say cherry, so I make something up. She
meanders off to her husband to look at the posters a bit, and while she
does this, another couple comes up and buys tickets. When they do this, I
hear this woman exclaim "I thought all the movies were in the last
showing!" I'm not sure if she thought she couldn't purchase tickets for
movies after they had started, or if she needed to have me explain midnight
movies to her again, but she soon comes back and asks)
Woman: How long has Lady Killers been on? (Nevermind the fact that all
starting times are listed above the relevant movie posters. Seriously, you
managed to find the times when you asked about Soul Plane, can't you do it
again?)
Me: About eight minutes ago.
(She meanders back to her husband and a friend I hadn't seen until now,
wanders around in a circle for a while looking at the posters, at one point
trying to get a decision out of her group. She comes back and buys three
tickets for Lady Killers, paying for the $6.00 worth of tickets with a $20,
and in the process asking)
Woman: Do you think I could get him (whoever she thought "him" was) to show
us the first fifteen minutes of the movie? I'm sure we could.
Me: Sorry, we can't do that.
(At this she doesn't really say anything but goes inside. A few minutes
later, after closing up the box office for the night, I come out of box to
overhear the same woman asking a coworker to ask the manager to rewind Lady
Killers. Um, no. After she goes back into her movie, I start talking to
said coworker and find out that this woman would not shut up about her
cousin who she claimed works at the theatre, but she wouldn't give her
cousin's name.)
This may not seem like a great deal, but this woman did just about every
small thing that the customers as a whole do that annoy us. Gah. ____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions. |
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BlueLinn
Fanatic Posts: 246 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/11/2004 at 02:49 AM |
I work at a movie store in the mall, and you can only imagine the wierdos
we get in there. The porn freaks, the annoying children, the really
annoying children, and the annoying children who just happen to work for
us.
Now, in our store the tv is always playing and it will play commercials
or movies that we have to bring customers to the store. We also are told
not to watch the t.v. and to help the customers first. Last Christmas we
had a fellow who I SWEAR had never seen a t.v. before in his life, every
five seconds he would slowly turn his head up to the t.v. and then his
voice would fade off and he would get this glassy look. He would do this
even when he began talking and helping customers. It wouldn’t have been so
bad if it was spontaneous, but it was a gradual thing. As if no one would
notice that he was constantly watching the magical flickering box.
And Alugarde,,, I understand your distaste for running children.
… There was also a few months ago where some children were running through
the store like mad little demons and one of them tripped and fell, breaking
his jaw in 3 places.
We all still laugh about that one when we look at the bleach spot where
the blood used to be. Our manager told them to stop running.
…. And what is really great about running children is when they don’t pay
attention to you when you tell them to stop running… they just smile and
think that you’re in on the game.. then when you are forced to stand as a
blockade against their running shout. “STOP RUNNING I’m SERIOUS THIS IS NOT
A FREAKING GAME” then they pause, you grab the movie from their hands that
they are running from their respective parent or godparent of the day in
order to try and keep it. Then the parent just walks them around to another
part of the store. FUCKING IDIOTS>
Oh and by the way, Starlight, as referring to your post on piercings,,, I
got lucky. Last Friday I had both my nipples pierced and they are
completely healed. No crusties. … though that is probably mostly because
Aaron is a good piercer and has a licence.. but…. YAY. And so far I have
managed to show only my close friends… who then got to play with them…..
but that is beside the point.
Also … squire of gothos,,, triple bagging isn’t so bad, it’s when they ask
for bubble wrap for a plastic bottle of organic peanut butter that you have
to worry… that happened to me when I worked at Clover’s Natural Foods.
And by the way, Alugarde, what level of Japanese did you get to?, or how
many years did you take, and was it college or highschool.
____________________ When the world is over, will we wonder how it began? |
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Lestat
Occasional Poster Posts: 28 Registered: 23/11/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 10/11/2004 at 07:46 AM |
Betty all of your posts are damn cool! hahahha You rock!!!! ____________________ I belong to no one. no organization confines me,no community,no society, no
nation. |
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Merry_Widow
Fanatic Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/11/2004 at 01:35 AM |
Man I am so glad I got to quit my job. Especially since I don't have to put
up with Daniel anymore. He thought he was a prophet sent by God, to AMC, to
save us all from hell. This guy would walk through Brown's edition at
night, saying he had no fear, because he had a large group of gaurdian
angels watching over him. I always wondered whether those angles would save
him from my foot up his ass.
My question is, why AMC? It was founded by those idiots in the Bible Belt.
Now Regal...there's a load of heathens if I ever saw one. ____________________ Okay, dazzle me. |
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/11/2004 at 05:59 AM |
Never deliver appliances or electronics, if you can avoid it... The only
thing I can honestly say is... take the annoying fuckheads... and then go
to their house... I swear to fucking god... the next one who tells me that
the salesperson told them we could move their old shit without paying a fee
is going to die... I KNOW for a FACT that our sales people do not do
that... lying cock monkeys... ____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist |
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/11/2004 at 04:43 PM |
you seem a bit angry about this subject, do you have a story to tell us
feral? ____________________ fucking classy. |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/11/2004 at 10:28 PM |
speaking of children, I had goddamn hannibal lechter jr almost take my head
off the other day. We got this thing in that shoots little glowie foam
disks, makes ray gun sounds it's LOTSA fun, so I was pelting customers with
it, letting kids play with it, havin fun and dickin around. Then this kid
comes in with his family, and so I shoot at his knees like I'm playin with
him. I've done this ALL night and had nothing but good response from it,
because against popular belief kids ADORE me because I'm an adult, but a
massive douchebag so I'm on their level. So, I shoot this kid in the
knees, he's maybe 4, and he's laughing, throwing them back having fun, but
then he starts to get crazy. His parents are somewhere off in the store,
and he starts getting full on NUTS. He picks up all the disks I shot, and
hands them to me, we shoot more people, and he picks them up and then
THROWS them in my face, laughing wildly. SO I grab his hand and tell him
that he can't do that, and that if he's playing mean, he's not playing at
all and to go find his parents. So he stops playing WITH me and starts
playing AGAINST me. I'm ignoring him, shooting people, thinking "christ,
it's a little hannibal lechter"when I see him gathering all the little
disks again. This time I stop him and say he cannot play with me, and to
find his parents, and he gets this INSANE MOTHERFUCKING EAR to ear grin and
is SCREAMING laughter and rushes out towards me with his hands like he is
gonna strangle me. It was like when you see the axe murderer in a movie
laughing and grinning when he is chopping someone up, just wild "I've
snapped my last gear" laughter. So I knock him back and yell for him to
get off me, when his dad sees his demon strangler idiot seed and says
nonchalantly "hey, cut it out". Then they leave, and I feel like I just
had a brush with the future Gary Ridgeway. This wasn't chemical imbalance,
kids, I've seen the difference, this was mental psychosis caused from lack
of FUCKING PARENTING. I've never seen a kid go after a stranger like that
and not have their parents immediately stop them and let the person know
what's up with their kid. So to all the parents of psychotic goddamned
kids, KEEP YOUR LITTLE GOODAMNED IDIOT MENTAL "I CAN'T CONTROL HIM" FREAK
ASS CANNIBAL OFFSPRING AWAY FROM ME! I have never had the urge to knock a
kid down in my LIFE, but that kid stirred something in me better left
ALONE. Control your fucking kids. Or I WILL. ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/11/2004 at 07:28 AM |
BlueLinn: Nipples are usually one of the piercings that takes a bit longer
than most to heal completely. However, I won't discount the possibility
that you have mutated genes that allow you to heal abnormally fast...or
that you could be a vampire. ____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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Psyche
Coward Posts: 4 Registered: 5/3/2003 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/11/2004 at 02:11 PM |
I'm new to the site, but if no one minds, could I vent for a minute? I have
worked in retail for almost ten years. I actually like retail when it goes
well; ie: when we all know our roles and don't overstep our boundaries. But
I have been abused by more fucking cunts who want a personal assistant and
can't afford one.
As the hollidays quickly approach, I find I have less time to spend with
the customers who have some idea what they want and value my time and
input. Why? Because there has been a wave of these twats who walk in, hand
me little Sierra and Connor's shopping list (what the hell happened to
Becky and Tommy, anyway?) and basically tell me to fetch. Or, alternately,
because I am cursed, tell me their life story before they ask me to help
them find a copy of a video game. Now, this would not be so bad, but this
will be the same woman who called yesterday and asked if we had this video
game and I told her "No, we don't carry that one, but we'll have the new
one for the DS in February. Would little Chandler like a gift certificate?"
No, he has to have this game, today. The girl she spoke to yesterday said
we had it.
For those of you keeping score, "the girl" was me. I was there. I told her
no such thing. But little Moonunit's mommy is deaf to anything she doesn't
want to hear. I explain, very patiently, that I am the girl. She has enough
grace to apologize for her misunderstanding. She asks to pre-order the DS.
I explain we aren't doing pre-orders; it's first come, first served. She
now loses it because little Blade is actually going to get leukemia and
fucking die if he doesn't get one of these new gadgets for Xmas.
I fight down the urge to tell her to go home and tell her little fucking
terrorist to reprioritize his values. I also don't tell her that we have
been playing with the demo all day and new does not equal better, but I'm a
retail whore. It's my job to smile pretty, pretend to be interested in
them, give them what they want, take their money and get them out. I really
think the goddamn registers should look more like dressers if I'm going to
prostitute myself. That way, I can just tell them to "leave the money on
the dresser on your way out, sugar."
One more anecdote and I'll shut up. This little girl came up to me the
other day and violated me. I like corporate retail because the rules say we
don't touch the customers and they don't touch us. I am not a fan of
strangers touching me. So, I'm helping a woman find a video for her husband
(they're both in their fifties, at least) when what I had ignorantly
assumed was her granddaughter came up and asked mommy (how suburban can I
be?) if she can play hide and seek. Her mother tells her no, stay with her.
So, the child informs me her name is JoJo. I say that's nice and go back to
addressing the one with the wallet. I look down a moment later to find the
change of life baby attached to my fucking leg like a horny schnauser. Her
mom thinks this is adorable. I am counting to ten to keep from punting her
across the store.
Eventually, the leach drops off only to return moments later with a stack
as big as her of TV collector sets and begins handing them to me one at a
time, telling me which members of my family these are for. Now, do I
explain that I don't celebrate Xmas and don't hang with my family much. No,
I look at the simpering expression on the mother's face as she looks at her
"little miracle" who, she tells me, cost more than a modest house to have
at her age and bite my tongue. Because I am a whore and I want her money. I
also restrain myself from asking if the little simian is so important to
her, why is she calling it after a dog faced boy and allowing it to run
wild in a chain store, molesting innocent wage slaves?
Anyway, this is my first rant. Thank you for this site. It's nice to know I
am not alone. ____________________ Sanity is both highly subjective and highly overrated. |
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