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Author: Subject: drunken idiot..you know youīve been there...

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Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:15 PM
Iīve just been wondering...what is the STUPIDEST thing youīve ever done when drunk. EVERYONE that drinks has a story of having a little too much, and Iīm not talking just barfing all night long...Iīm talking super sauced trashed ANTICS...
Iīve got one (of course)....
It was shortly after my 21st birthday, and I had been thoroughly enjoying my new freedoms in the land of the inebriated. Michael and I hand enjoyed a night at trax (a local gay bar *WOO*! gay bars are the best!) and we arrived home, and I, not wanting to wake up with that awful boozebingecigarettethroatdeathstink, brushed my teeth in the bathroom (getting toothpaste ALL over) when my drunken eye spied the bathtub. I want a bath! I thought to myself, so started the water, staggered into the bedroom to get my jammies, then hopped gleefully into a nice hot tub.
Left drunk and unattended in the bathroom, the gears in my head began to turn....Iīm gonna shave my LEGS! I do so, without incident miraculously, and as Iīm washing my face I realize I need to pluck my eyebrows, as they were getting unruly. "I hate plucking my fucking eyebrows" I thought angrily...then spied the previously used razor on the tub edge...and I had a marvelous idea.
So I proceeded to shave my eyebrows OFF. Got soap in my eyes, all over my face. Then I had a better idea...if I bend faceforward into the water and blow bubbles, the bubbles will wash the soap off my face and out of my eyes! I proceeded to flop faceforward into the water and blow bubbles....great fun, kids, try this at home.
NEXT thing I know someoneīs got me by the hair and is dragging me out of the tub yelling "what the fuck are you DOING?! Are you okay?!!"
I was sort of irritated to find michael was the man who had my hair and had dragged me SO indignified from the water. I opened one eye and said "washing my face" "NO, " he said "You were drowning...you were under for almost a minute! What the hell happened to your eyebrows?!"
I insisted I was washing my face with bubbles, and said I was SICK of plucking so I shaved my stupid eyebrows OFF. He dried me dressed me and put me to bed, saying I wasnīt allowed in the tub when Iīm drunk anymore, which made me sad. He still insists I was drowning.
AND when my eyebrows started growing back...UGH. Ever had razor stubble on your forehead before? DONīT recommend it, kids.
Thatīs just one of the more eventful conclusions to a night at the bar for me...believe me, there are others....

I wanna know your most ridiculous antics under the influence...cīmon...I know you have SOMETHING youīve not told anyone..YET.

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:43 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

thatīs friggin hilarious :-P

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:51 PM
Omg! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Lemme think.. I *know* I have to have one around here somewhere..*kicks junk around in back of brain*.. Thereīs plenty of oh-my-god-please-kill-me-Iīm-so-sick ones. Hmm...Iīll get back to ya.

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:59 PM
Well the worst thing I ever did(I didnīt actually do it mind you, it was just blamed on me). My one freind was on leave from the Army, so we decided to celebrate. It was this night that I discovered that 2-fingers tequilla is a party and a half going down, but sucks comming up. Anyways, I woke up around 3 A.M. and realised I had to puke, so I stumbeled to the bathroom and proceeded to do my business when Rob comes in. He asks how Iīm doing, then curls up on the floor in front of the door, I promptly go to sleep on the side of the toilet. Later , at 4 A.M., Sumoīs(the guy whoīs house we were at) mom had to get ready for work, and unfortunately we were blocking the bathroom door. I awoke that morning to the sound of Sumo hitting Rob to get him to wake up and move away from the door so his mom can get ready. When we finally got him up, I walked into Sumoīs room and saw the large greenish puddle. Nobody was in the mood to clean at that point in time, so we just kind of curled up into the corners of the room and went back to sleep. In the morning they blamed it on me, and I had to clean it up. We later discovered that it was Robīs mess, he just wouldnīt own up to it.
The only other stupid drunk thing I can remember doing is dancing at clubs. If you ever see me at a club, and Iīm dancing, chances are, Iīm drunk also.

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 03:18 PM
I donīt have any REALLY bad ones, but on my birthday I got pretty drunk and flashed someone... yeah, that was pretty interesting the next day(we go to school together)

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 04:56 PM
Got one... or two.... hell, every time I get drunk, I do something stupid... anyway...

This one time, I was at a party (birthday party for one of the skate punks, at the house of a girl I worked with) and got terribly drunk early on... I was supposed to be spending the night there, so I had a bag with extra clothes and stuff... well, along came my ex boyfriend, with a bunch of his friends... they checked out the scene for a little while, then kidnapped me, bag and all... we went to a friendīs house where there was another party, and I proceeded to get even more wasted. At one point, one of the boys said he wanted his nipple pierced, and I volunteered for the job (why I have no idea, needles creep me out terribly, normally) anyway, I apparantly did a decent job of it, because I spent a good part of the night sticking needles in people after that... ( I know this was a bad idea, and something I wouldnīt even think about doing now, but we were all drunk and being stupid that night) After a while, an old friend, Roy showed up, and I was on the porch when he did, and was so happy to see him, I ran and jumped on him and kissed him... I didnīt see his girlfriend, Nora standing behind him at the time... needless to say she was not pleased... The party went on, though until the wee hours of the morning, during which time, I ended up in bed with my ex-boyfriend, which I felt bad about because I was friends with the girl he was dating at the time, and I damn sure didnīt want him back... I woke up the next morning, had a fight with him about his seduction of me while I was obviously at a disadvantage, and got a ride home... then my other friend ( the girl whoīd had the first party) called and said I was lucky I left when I did, because the redneck next-door-neighbor had gotten his gun out and started shooting, and the cops had been called, and it was a huge mess..nobody was hurt, but itīs still something I was glad to miss, especially since I wasnīt legal to drink at the time... anyway, I think thatīs the worst I ever behaved while drunk... I donīt think I ever got that drunk again after that...

 

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  posted on 3/5/2002 at 10:40 PM
ONE of the stupidest drunk things Iīve done:
getting drunk and naked with my gf on a public beach then photographed by tourists.
:-D

 

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Posts: 1570
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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 12:13 AM
well, there is one more that *I* was not the maniac culprit of the insanity...
Shortly before my best friend got pregnant, we went to the bar for a girls night out of sorts...anyway, we both got pretty shitty, but I quit drinking early to sober up to drive home. We were walking around the corner to my car and past this dark alley, right? Of course...anyway there is this BIIIIG "DO NO ENTER" sign at the entrance on a post in the middle of some of those juniper bushes. Being a scorpio under the influence, she eyeballed the sign, sneered, and said "Do not enter?! Fuck I hate being told what to do...Fuck the man, always telling me not to enter." Then she TOOK OFF down the alley with her arms flung wide yelling "iīm entering Iīm entering what you gonna do about it! Fuck you and your do not enter signs!"
I was chasing her, PLEADING with my luck for a cop to not come by, caught up and led her back to the alley entrance..."Iīm very sorry, I HATE being told what not to do" Then eyeballed the sign again and LEAPED into the bushes and tromped around going "oh fuck Iīm in the bushes" and lost a sandal, which I had to retrieve for her, which was a bad idea...I should have kept it because once it was back on her foot she took off like a SHOT again down the alley laughing maniacally. FINALLY I got her back into my car..>FINALLY....she told me never to tell anyone, but hey, sheīs anonymous here*grin*...mostly because she is SO unlike that in real life...would NEVER do that and I could barely believe my eyes and ears what she was doing! I bought her a chicken sandwich at jack in the box, and took her to my apartment and she passed out halfway through eating it. I put it away, pushed her over on the couch and covered her, and she stayed passed out till 12 the next day (left her there by herself to go to a meeting*snicker* she never even knew) with a monster hangover...
That was probably one of the best nights of my life...we met an angry straight hater butch lesbian named tequila (to whom we lied and said we were together for mere protection) and I bitched out three pushy lesbian bitches and made them kiss our asses the whole night...got free drinks all over the place, I danced with a big flamboyantly G A Y friend of mine named raphael to a destinyīs child song (yes, I was that drunk, and even had a few big ass lesbians try to get up on it and man THATīS FUN..especially when EVERYONEīS loaded), fixed a toilet and puked my guts out.
Then drove home
Then michael and I did it with the door open and poor friend passed out on the couch in the living room, and fell asleep, and went to a meeting on 3 hrs of sleep looking like death warmed over and a big smile about the night before DYING that I couldnīt tell anyone on penalty of scorpio vengence.
Now she has a baby and her partying days are indefinately suspended BUt sheīs a good mommy, and I can find more boozing buddies
NOT to mention the time I vaguely remember coming to in the middle of "love shack" on karaoke night with my friend jamie..and then blank again until the middle of "bohemian rhapsody"....

Dangerous when drunk...

 

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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 07:01 AM
Iīve never gotten drunk but the last punk party I went to, there was this short girl who was really drunk... She had a friend, but nobody at the party knew them... She just staggered around, occassionally wrestled with her friend down the hallway, then wrapped her arms around me and stuck there.... "Iīm Sammy" (name changed to protect the drunk, of course) she said. I said nice to meet you, Iīm Patrick... Then she wandered off... Later I was sitting with a friend talking when she just sits down on my lap and holds me. I hold her, feeling kinda sorry for her. She introduces me to her friend "Sammy" and that her name is Anne... Anyway, we go to my friends bedroom (shush! you perverts!) and she asks me to dial her motherīs phone number, since she canīt seem to do it... She and her friend marvel that Iīm wearing a skirt, which is īso coolī.
Later she goes home... Never saw her again...
Strange, but sheīs so cute...

 

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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 03:08 PM
Hey Meranda... Was the guy who wanted his nipple pierced Mike?

 

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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 04:57 PM
:cry: *cries* Waahhh wahhh, I ha-ha-haaavee no drrr-uunk sssstories to tell... wahhh *runs away and becomes a drunken, drugged down hoe, just so I have stories to tell... since Iīm a proffesional over-doīer*

I must admit you guys have some funny stories to tell though... I guess Iīll get some eventually... um... if thatīs a good or a bad thing...? Hrm... *lol*

 

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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 06:15 PM
well itīs not a good thing if you want to keep your eyebrows the way they are, judging from some of my past experiences
Itīs part of being an "adult" *scoff* (īlegallyī of course) and of NOT in some peopleīs cases. Itīs part of being and "adult" and not acting like it, more often than not. Itīs part of being a teenager and hating it and doing stupid things. Iīm just glad nobody had a "I got drunk and went for a drive and killed a busload of nuns" story. Thereīs nothing wrong with a little boozing once every so often, not to the point of alchoholism, and having stupid harmless fun. Itīs a part of life, some people choose to opt out of the inebriated part and for lots of good reasons. Itīs all about choices, that are good for you and your preferences. Iīm sort of GLAD that you donīt have any stupid drunk stories, to be truthful
Man, this is starting to sound like a "you donīt have to drink to have fun" commercial....
Cīmon, more drunken idiot encounters...

 

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  posted on 4/5/2002 at 06:44 PM
*applauds Battie* *lol* Isnīt being "adult" doing things you enjoy and still act adult? Maybe thatīs what you meant? *bimbo blinks* I think Iīll hold my alcoholic spree until I see some more examples of what might be ahead of me then *grins slightly*
So cīmon, more stories... :grin:

 

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To The Mankind When The Earth Is Gone?~

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 01:54 AM
Oh sweet jesus, I was waiting for a forum like this to pop up...whereīs my lilī dairy? -to be continued-

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 06:26 AM
i donīt have any drunk stories either..

*mutters something inaudible under his breath*

:roll: :roll: :roll:

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 07:27 AM
Donīt worry, I donīt have any stories to tell either.

I usually get drunk alone, or with one friend. I donīt like to drink much in public. Maybe Iīm just chicken!

I tend to reserve the stupid things I do for when Iīm sober! :roll:

 

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"You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 08:49 AM
Alright...here we go. First day in Okinawa I went out with a couple of buddies and proceeded to drink myself stupid with something called Habu Sake, which is a nasty little drink that has a dead snake in the bottle (Bad Omen). After about three hours straight we decided to go to the beach (Bad idea) however, I donīt even get to leave the bar before I run head long into a small potted palm tree, knock myself on my ass and recieve a nifty bleeding head wound (To this day I still hear jokes about getting my ass kicked by a tree)...I try and kick it over, but only end up losing my shoe...the bar was on the second story of a building, and we happened to be on a veranda.
My shoe...which is a steel-toed safety boot, manages to collide with some poor japanese kids head. We run...well, THEY run, I have only one shoe.
After a couple hours of blackness, I finally catch up to them at the beach, and HEY guess what, they went and bought fireworks. Being the genius I am, we start snapping back some basic beers and blowing shit up. Rocks, crabs, Steven you know...just anything we can. Cops show up. And I decide to get REALLY stupid and use a smoke bomb to confuse īem and escape. (Hey it works for the ninjas right?) well...all the smoke bomb did was conceal the fact that I had still, only one shoe.
Fast forward to the next morning, standing in front of the Captain as he chews my ass out for the first time on this base...when asked if I have anything to say for myself, I promptly throw up on his shoes.
I canīt remember most of the things Iīve done, but Iīve heard stories. At least twice Iīve tried to bring about Revelations, worn womenīs clothing, tried to drive when I canīt...at all. Climbed up a tree and couldnīt get back down. Got in fights with bugs, dogs, more trees and in one dismal encounter...a large unstable rock that had the higher ground. Skipper knows my mother on a first name basis, as he called her the second time I was found passed out on his front lawn.
On one disturbing occasion, after an unusually violent bout of nausea, my friends and I found an earring in my vomit. Wheee.
As far as Okinawa goes, my drunken rampages are pretty well known...never dangerous, but usually bizarre. Now if only I could remember the REALLY good ones...oh well.
And Iīm such a boring person sober >sigh<
Lucky Iīm not sober too much then yah? :lol:

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 01:50 PM
Let me see if I can remember this right.. (well.. at least what I was told.)
One night, I was at a friendīs house, 2 hours drive time away from home. My boyfriend and I had a LARp game we had to be at the next day.. but the friends we were visiting had just moved back from Colorado to Ohio and we hadnt seen them for .. mmm...2 years. Out came the tequila. Well, I started doing shots with one friend.. then with anyone who would do it.. then alone.. then skipped the shotglass and started drinking from the bottle. I have been told that I drank 17 actual shots that night. I remember *most* of the night.. being ignored by the boyfriend, (as usual) hanging out and chatting about faeries, sitting on the porch swing, winding up *under* the porch swing and thinking that it was fun..thatīs the last memory I have. Sources say that someone else I know came i and I proptly tried to kiss him.. all along calling him "Fairy Davidson".A time came when my boyfriend decided it was time to go, īcause we had to be up early the next day for the game. I wasnīt at all happy with the decision and started fighting.He started to psysically try to dragg me out to the car, I was punching and hair-pulling. At one point, my now-husband saw him draw back to punch me.. he stopped the boyfriend.. and with everyoneīs help, they loaded my drunk ass into the backseat for the two hour ride home.
I woke up the next morning, alone, in the backseat. It was August.. that God my sense of smell hadnīt kicked in yet. I had gotten sick in my back floorboard.. and all over myself. I walk into the bedroom where asshole-boy is sleeping and ask what hapened? Heīs all pissed at me and talls me that I need to got take a shower. We wound up driving in that car..puke and all.. to the game, me trying to hold on to my stomach and cursing extence. We got there.. and the game was cancelled.. Ha-Ha!
What fun īeh?

 

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  posted on 5/5/2002 at 10:44 PM
this is the best one Iīve heard...and I have sources to back this up...
My ex boss and I were trading drunken idiot stories, and she told me the BEST one I"ve heard to date...even doloīs epic booze binge antics dontī beat this.
SHe was with her ex boyfriend who was in the military in so. california...so they took a train to the border and walked to mexico. WEll, as you know, when you walk across the border right into tiajauna there are nothing but BARS in every direction...and little men outside handing out coupons for buy one get three free margarita specials. SO they gathered several...and made their way up the strip. Now if you order one, and only WANT one, they give you four. SO what do you do with three unwanted strawberry margaritas? Hell, you DRINK them...and she did. All the way down the strip. Finally he left her face down on a picnic table in the pavilion to go look at leather biker stuff for about two hours, in which time she did not move and inch. Then he got her up and they proceeded to walk to the border. SHe does not remember this. The next thing she knows sheīs seeing this man in a funny hat at the end of this loooon purple fuzzy tunnel shouting all fuzzy like "MAīAM STATE YOUR RESIDENCY!" She turns her head and now her boyfriendīs face is at the end of the purple tunnel "JULIE...STATE YOUR FUCKING RESIDENCY!" She turns back to the border patrol and he shouts again "STATE YOUR RESIDENCY, MAīAM!" and she scrunches up and says in a manner only a virgo can hereīs how it goes
Julie: "Iīm a resident of the planet EARTH!"
Border patrol :"maīam, step this way"
~the proceed to check all her I.D. and grill her boyfriend!
Julie: "OH, so THIS is how you treat residents of EARTH, is it, man you WAIT till I get back there and theyīll show YOU"

Finally they let her across...and you guys know that mc donalds at the border that got all shot up by a psycho and they tore it down and built a new one and put a memorial up where the old one was?
Well she made a BEELINE to the new one, straight through the door (her boyfriend got in line for food) and straight into the bathroom, cut in front of four women in line into an empty stall, stood there,and "FWAAHHH" strawberry margaritas ala linda blair. Iīm talking dripping down the stall. ALL OVER HERSELF. Her boyfriend hears of a gross girl in the bathroom that cut and puked all over....they make a run for it. SHe rides a train all the way back to base...the toilet paper she tried to clean herself up with had dried with the tequila barf to turn her shirt into paper mache...she smells. She had to shower in a community bathroom.
She advises against the coupons in tiujuana.
As she told me this I about pissed myself....
I donīt think anything will ever beat that, or serve a better example for children or teenagers headed for mexico
oh man, Iīll never forget that...and Iīm never going to tiajuana...

 

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  posted on 6/5/2002 at 04:36 AM
Yep... While most of the nation has Miami to go for graduation parties or spring break, nearly everyone here heads to TJīs: the land of the free.
If youīre underage, you have the freedom to drink.
If youīre underage, you have the freedom to hire a hooker with seven stds
If youīre underage, you have the freedom to smoke substances not recognized yet by the FDA.

My friends are going to drag me there (or so they say) come graduation... Iīm not sure... Iīm not one for self-abuse... :roll:

 

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