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Shade
Fanatic   Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 8/8/2004 at 09:32 AM |
| I'm starting this thread because Shmooths last post fucked up the last one
and right now I so need to scream. ____________________
It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic  Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/1/2005 at 07:20 PM |
OK, so maybe im in the wrong, I have been in the past, and probably will be
in the future. But I do NOT fucking think so this time.
I moved from a nice roomy room with a window big enough to see out of, a
wardrobe big enough to live in and enough floorspace to walk across. I
moved out for a mere £35 a month rent cut and some double glazing (which is
draughty, by the way). Its a lot of money over the year but then again Im
lucky enough that until I leave uni my father is paying my rent. I moved
from this room to no gain for myself. Into what is essentially a cupboard
with a bed in it. As a favour to a friend. ON ONE CONDITION. That I got my
room tidied. Not every week, not every day, not every month, not even
twice. ONCE. One time I asked for my room to be tidied in exchange for
doing a favour. It wouldn't be so bad if I even got that.
Now, when this friend moved in she almost instantly started acting the
bitch. She threw away my ashtrays because 'they looked ugly' not thinking
about how a shitload of cigarette butts must look, she threw away a frying
pan of mine because it was on the hob in her way. She was rude, and
standoffish, for no reason that I could see.
But I was in the wrong. Obviously, thats why she has 'plans' to kill me,
several if what I overheard was correct. Now Im pretty sure that that wasnt
entirely serious, but its not something I want to hear someone for whom I
have severely put myself out to say to her sister.
Theres more but I haven't the time or space really. That was just a
preamble to the rant. Now she wants to move out to shack up with her
boyfriend who used to be a good friend of all of our house before she moved
in and started going out with him, at which point he started to ignore us
all. I am fucking ecstatic as you may imagine, but since the 'friend' for
whom I moved from my nice room is moving out I feel that it is not
unreasonable for me to want my room back. Small problem: It is unlikely
that she will find a taker for the room I now inhabit due to its small size
and she knows it. Therefore she is trying to go behind my back as much as
possible. In fact she did not even have the simple common courtesy to tell
me that she was moving out. And she has scheduled someone to come around
when she knew that I would be out of the house, in fact out of the fucking
city, just to be safe. When I found out she was moving out I immediately
spoke to her to tell her that I wanted my old room back, the terms of my
agreement with her being complete after all, I stick to my word you see.
She SINCE advertised my old room and now claims that if I want that room
back I should be the one to do the legwork to find someone to move in in
her place (as she is contractually obliged to do). This is something that I
am simply not prepared to do. If she had had any decency towards me since
moving in, or perhaps even any decency in the matter at hand I may have
been willing to do her work for her, but not now. Is this unreasonable? I
don't think so. I suppose time will tell. In the meantime: FUCK YOU, YOU
UNGRATEFUL, CONNIVING DUPLICITOUS BITCH. I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU BUT BE
NICE AND GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE A KNIFE AND
STAB ME IN THE BACK WHILE YOU ARE BACK THERE FUCKWAD. I WILL NOT DO YOUR
WORK FOR YOU.
Wow, you know typing that didn't make me feel even remotely better. I guess
I shall have to stop taking the moral highground and say it to her face.
Thoughts anyone? ____________________
Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
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Sailor_Sadist
Coward   Posts: 10 Registered: 10/10/2004 Status: Offline
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 posted on 1/1/2005 at 05:24 PM |
Thanks Meranda. Seems like we've had similar experiences, and thats a bit
comforting. Unfortunately my week continued to turn to shit after that
arguement, but I won't go into detail. Now however, my mother seems to be
thinking that if my problems can't be solved by hugs, or sitting up and
drinking wine, than I must be over reacting. lol.. I can't help but laugh,
and semi enjoy the time we're spending together.
Happy New Years to everyone all the same, woo woo! ____________________
- The post count is slowly rising!
Sailor Moon still rocks.
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic  Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 31/12/2004 at 07:54 AM |
| Sailor, I know exactly what you're going through. I had exactly the same
kind of upbringing... knowing that no matter what I had to nod and agree or
get the shit beaten out of me... and maybe get the shit beaten out of me
anyway. Well, one day... I exploded. I started screaming "I hate you!"
over and over again at my stepdad. He was standing in front of me, laying
down punishments, taking away all priveleges that I had left, and I hadn't
even done anything all that bad. I was almost 13 when that happened. Still
small and vulnerable but old enough to know what was right and what was
wrong with the ways I was being raised. The explosion startled him, I
think... I wasn't punished for screaming at him... (I thought I was writing
my death sentence at the time) instead, he nodded and backed off me. After
that, I was still expected to behave in certain ways, but I wasn't singled
out for random punishment anymore, and I wasn't beaten. I think after a
child stands up and makes it known that they are aware of how they're being
treated and are firm about not taking it anymore, things change between the
child and the parent. The parent sees the child as more of an autonomous
human being, with the rights to make their own choices in life, and back
off on the ultra-controlling parenting a bit. I think you're right. If you
stand your ground and behave like an adult, they will start listening to
you instead of just speaking at you. Oh yeah... don't start spazzing all
the time... that just drives them up a wall. Once is usually enough to get
your point across. ____________________
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2004 at 10:11 PM |
ok... my department (delivery) NEVER WORKS THURSDAYS... it is after eleven
pm... "why didn't you guys prepare the paperwork for tomorrow's
deliveries?"
Because we were off work today...
WHAT THE FUCK???!!! ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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Sailor_Sadist
Coward Posts: 10 Registered: 10/10/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2004 at 07:34 PM |
Too bad I don't feel confident enough to post more. I'm a shmeng stalker, I
read everyone elses shit.
I always knew how my fathers actions had effected me once he left, but
yesterday, everything shone through far too clearly. I got in a SMALL
confrontation with my stepdad, and I bawled. I bawled my eyes out, threw
things, and tried to yell in between sobs. I thought he was interrogating
me, yelling at me, hassling me, about to punish me.
I tried to regain my thoughts afterwards, and today I'm still trying to
figure myself out (without spending the money for a shrink). Without making
this really cheesey, or turning it into a pity post, I'm just going to say
that the 7 years I spent growing up with my dad was rough. Things were
strict, and I knew right away what I was to do and say, and what I wasn't.
The most prominent memory I have is the idea that "No matter what, you
never, EVER talk back to me, Michelle. Never. Because if you do... etc etc"
So, here I am now. 17 years old - supposedly in my rebellious years, and I
can hardly even raise my voice in objection to my mom and stepdad. Even
when I know I am right, even when the fight is so asinine that if I don't
voice my opinion I'm going to be walked all over - I can't do it. That is,
I couldn't do it until last night.
I think it's wonderful that children can have the upmost respect for their
parents and not be little shit disturbers, but they still need to be their
own persons. I would expect my child to show me respect in knowing I am an
authority figure, but if they ever had any objection to what I was saying,
I'd want them to say it, or scream it, or sob trying to do either. That
doesn't mean they'll get their way, but at least they're learning to
communicate what they want, and how they feel.
But, in my case, all I can think is "Hey, it's almost New Years, why not
start anew?" I did throw my mom and my stepdad for a loop last night. Both
with my spaziness and the emotional upheaval, so I think that if I just
stand my ground, but not turn into a bitch of a daughter, I will be okay. I
need to show my adult side, and I think this might be a good time, and way,
to start.
[Edited on 31/12/2004 by Sailor_Sadist] ____________________
- The post count is slowly rising!
Sailor Moon still rocks.
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EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic  Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2004 at 06:18 PM |
Yeah. That's one of the things I worry about with my daughter growing up in
Bellevue. I'm worried that we will always be too broke to afford nice stuff
for her and she will be picked on in school for not wearing the "latest
fashions".
There's nothing wrong with you hun. They just haven't grown up yet. ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
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MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2004 at 03:07 PM |
Yes, we are aware of the rules. It is the screaming chamber and yes you
are allowed to rant. Rant to your heart is quite content.
The mall steals souls and makes me tweeky. They didn't do this in Florida.
There must be something definitley wrong with the Bellevue mall. Why do
the teenagers with their perfectly dyed hair and their pretty little make
up, stare at me so oddly. I'm not wearing big baggy black jeans, I'm not
wearing a Manson t-shirt, I'm not wearing a long flowing black gown of
lace. I'm just wearing jeans and a nice blouse with my leather and suede
jacket. I don't wear make up because I don't feel I should have to. I
don't have perfectly dyed hair because I can't afford to get my root/dye
line fixed. I don't wear the latest fashions. I don't wear sweaters the
come just under my boobs and stop over the top of another sweater. I don't
walk around with an attitude of "I am so much better than you are". Why do
girls near my age look at me like they hate everything about me?
I try to smile at them, or pay no attention to them, but both get me the
same reaction. I see them look at me and it is as if I am disgusting or
hideous or a mega bitch. I don't think I am any of the above. None of my
friends seem to think so.
I say it is the girls in the mall who have the problem. I don't think
there is necessarily anything wrong with me. I think they have an issue
with people outside of their "cliques" and outside of their social or
financial status. Hell, I have some clothes from Nordstrom, but they still
seem to know that I am poor as dirt.
WELL FUCK YOU BELLEVUE BIMBOS! FUCK YOU! ____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
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pale-face
Fanatic  Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 29/12/2004 at 09:59 PM |
| ha ha. Charlie brown. i got a snoopy's story of Christmas on vinyl. sorry
that jusr reminded me of that. ____________________
fucking classy.
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gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 29/12/2004 at 12:13 AM |
FUCK! of all the stupid god dammed shit sniffing lousy things that could go
wrong in one week, or one day, or one life, why? i dont want to start this
downward spiral again i dont want to get depressed i dont want to get into
a huge terrifying situation right when im trying to get on the right track,
i dont want whatever is inevidable going to happen next because bad luck
comes in threes! i dont want my entire personal little universe to shift
under my feet, not right now! in the words of charlie brown: AUG!
this is the screaming chamber, i am allowed to rant!
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 24/12/2004 at 02:26 AM |
| You can dance to my synthesizers, electronic world for every boy and every
girl, you can dance to my synthisizers, but you can't ignore my techno. ____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 21/12/2004 at 04:40 PM |
| word... reminds me of synthesizers. ____________________
fucking classy.
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EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 20/12/2004 at 04:17 PM |
| Nope.. can't have it ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
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W0rmW00d
Fanatic Posts: 355 Registered: 5/8/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 12/12/2004 at 08:44 AM |
| Dammit, I want the last word. ____________________
Eritis sicut Deus scientes bonum et malum.
And the third angel sounded, and a troll army did descend upon the world.
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/12/2004 at 08:36 PM |
| word, kiddo. ____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
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Abbadon
Fanatic  Posts: 499 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/12/2004 at 10:19 AM |
| Well, you got the last word. Well done. ____________________
Light is changing to shadow, and casting a shroud over all we have known.
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EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/12/2004 at 04:06 AM |
You know.. I avoided the entire flame war that happened on this site. I
avoided being drawn in by everyone telling people on this site what they
thought of them. Now I can somewhat understand why some of these people
were pissed at other people on the site. Not entirely though because I only
dispise people who directly cause trouble in my REAL life and not my online
life.
But awhile back I had someone actually effect my real life. Someone from
this site. I hate to bring up an old forum that died but I kept quiet
through the "shmeng purge" and damnit... now I won't be quiet.
Litho.. what the fuck crawled up your ass and died. I met you just a few
times and you were extremely distant to me. That was fine as I understand
that not everyone is going to get along but then I find out that you were
so curious about me that you asked someone who knew personal shit about me.
And that same person (who is now so on my shit list) told you something
about me that only my VERY close friends know.
So you go running to Devin and Amanda about it and start talking shit about
me. 1. Devin was aware of it but Amanda wasn't as I had yet to find myself
in a situation to need to tell her after telling Devin. and 2. WHAT FUCKING
BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS and 3. They didn't care! They are my friends but
you seem to think we are something more than that.
After such a show of 12 year old behavior I trust you about as far as I
could throw my entire apartment building. And for me to say that is alot.
But I guess you will never know how much of a loyal person I am. You will
never find out because you not only never gave me a chance but you showed
yourself to be a total psycho bitch by talking shit about me through
hearsay that you know nothing about to people we both know in hopes of
seperating us.
Let's be honest here.. what other hope would you have for sharing such
information? And then you talked shit about Devin too! To his own
girlfriend! And while he may be willing to be nice to you afterwards. I'm
not.. Because I don't tolerate people talking shit about people I love. And
it doesn't matter if you understand that or not.. I love Devin and Amanda.
I have never had sex with either of them and they are probably the best
friends I have EVER have. They have honestly taught me what TRUE friendship
is. And you the more pathic person for making them and I not trust you.
Truly pathetic. I'm surprised they even speak to you because I definately
wouldn't after the shit you said to them.
Just pathetic.
The curse I wish to say is "may you be alone for the remainder of your
existance" but I have to be true to myself. May you find someday a true
friendship and realize all the things you have lost in your past. That is
the worst curse of all. ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
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feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/11/2004 at 06:28 PM |
Trolls... not on the internet... but today... I... realised... there are
real time fucking trolls... people that steal my time... they are fucking
killing me with a knife that is only 1/8th of an inch long... and the agony
of dealing with these stupid fuckers is driving me insane!!!!
FUck off stupid people... quit fucking up my life... you may be a
manager... but you have no idea what we drivers ACTUALLY do... go back to
the sales floor and go fuck yourself!!! ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
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pale-face
Fanatic Posts: 478 Registered: 22/9/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 22/11/2004 at 04:36 PM |
Life if fun when you don’t have to do anything. just lie stagnant in a sea
of insanity waiting for the wave to carry you back into the crowd. but when
you think about it. you don’t want to. you are happy sitting in your
nothingness. you don’t want responsibilities of meeting a quota or handing
in work. life is fun when you don’t have to do anything. so don’t. Ahhhh
sweet nothing abyss. take me into your arms and let me be alone to be
myself.
I think I’m going to become a hermit. ____________________
fucking classy.
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RedQueen
Member   Posts: 98 Registered: 18/10/2004 Status: Offline
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posted on 18/11/2004 at 12:22 PM |
"Brittney, you stupid whore, get the fuck down here and take what's coming
to you, bitch! If you're not sucking my dick in five minutes I'm coming up
there to beat your ass!"
Ah, good times. ____________________
Today's liberals are tomorrow's conservatives. When my generation is the
conservatives, we'll be fine letting gays get married and creationism vs.
evolution in schools will be a laughable issue.
But by god we'll be sticking it to the damn cyborgs!
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