Subject: Whine here about the LOVE you are getting, not in Tough Love
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 10:15 AM
I mean it. I can and will cancel your account if you litter up the Tough
Love forum bitching that someone is being mean to you.
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 01:30 PM
I must say, what Shade said hurt, bad. That doesn't mean it may not be
true - I'll have to come back and think about it harder. I must admit that
right now I'm flinching pretty badly.
But I admire his courage to come out and say the truth as he saw it. He
certainly spared no one.
Perhaps what will separate "Us" from "Them" is how this criticism is taken.
This may be the ultimate trial by fire.
Thankyou, Shade.
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
callei
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 01:36 PM
I know what you mean. I suddenly feel all well guilty might be the word for
letting down the people here by not fighting harder more often to make the
fluff go away. And i am all defensive about it too.
____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away.
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 02:54 PM
Just to be totally and completely clear, what I said, I said to hurt. With
of course the exception of what Callei said about me, and conversely, that
was pretty pointed and painful as well. To some of you, I said what I said
in the hopes that you would see the difference between what I believe you
held true at one point and what you are doing now. Others I just want to
see gone, Abaddon falls into this second camp. The rest of you are
completely capable of sorting out which ones you are.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me
Devin
Administrator
Posts: 317 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Online
posted on 5/7/2004 at 02:55 PM
whine whine bitch moan fuck i hate when people are right like that.
although i am pretty damm lucky to have survived eating callei's last
cookie
[Edited on 7/6/2004 by Devin]
____________________ So Sayeth Me
IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 04:42 PM
As a matter of fact, Schizo, I disagreed with what Shade said about yoo
more than anythng else. I am always impressed by someone who can examine
their own method of thought for many years (or in yor case yor entire
life), recognise the faults in it, openly decllare that they were mistaken,
and stil remain strong. This is why Malcolm X has always been my favorite
ploitical activist.
What Shade said about mee on the other hand, had it's points, but get the
hell over it, if I was going to stop I would have stopped years ago.
____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl
MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 05:34 PM
Shade, some of your comments truly hit me hard. The reason I have not set
a fixed personality for myself is because I have never truly had the
opportunity. I grew up where I could not, around people who I could not be
who I am around. I feel sometimes like I lost who I was supposed to be, or
who I am to be with time. I had many shells which I pulled out of the
"shoe box" to wear around the different people in my life. I may now have
the opportunity to discover the person I am, the opportunity to destroy the
shells I once wore. I now truly need the help of those around me to
dispose of the shells and to find me. I have always felt my ability to
make friends in any group of people was nice, but over the last year I have
noticed that I do not like this. I have decided to be me. Mainly my
coming out was the reason for this thinking. I will always be blonde
though, and I will always have a cuteness about me because I love to make
people smile and laugh.
____________________ "People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
no offense... I make people smile and laugh, but I am not cute...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 06:22 PM
Ouch. Although I must say, I agree wholeheartedly with what Shade said
about me. I've recognized the disturbing growth of a sinister fluff-bunny
in me for a while now, but have no idea just how to exorcize it. There's
something deep inside me that really doesn't want to see anyone get hurt,
even if they richly deserve it. I try to fix things too much, try to
mediate too much, and most of the time what really needs to be done with
any unreasonable person is for them to be taken aside and be told in no
uncertain terms to cut it out or fuck the hell off. Thanks for bringing
that one out into the open for me so I could give it a really close
looking-over.
____________________
Schizo
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 06:29 PM
"Schizo
You are just as guilty as Meranda, Devin pretty clearly said the time for
diplomacy was not now, and within 26 hours you are in there preaching
diplomacy. And when you get right down to it, you have gone from being very
intelligent and holding to a belief structure you believed in to following
and preaching a party line. There was a time when your religious belief was
something we all believed in, be nice to those that deserve it, follow your
own convictions, avoid those who spread nothing but drama, things like
that. Now you have begun to speak the party line with one hand while asking
for black magic with the other. The Schiz that used to exist was the type
of person who would never have let things get to the point where she needed
the local witches help, the Xian pod person who has taken over, apparently
is."
Well, I read this, and I had to run, because I was going out with a friend
who I thought was getting married next week and moving to Japan, but it
turns out that she just broke it off with her Japanese fiance because she
has fallen in love with her girlfriend. We went down to the lake and drank
some beer and talked about it. Oh, and my car overheated, badly, since the
thermostat is broken so I didn't know it was getting hot, so it's stuck at
her house. But I'm back, and ready to face the music.
Shade, I really don't want to brush this all off if there is something I
need to learn here, but I also refuse to grovel and pretend I'm wrong when
I'm not.
About the whole diplomacy bit, where on earth did you get that? I read and
re-read my post, and it was not diplomatic, unless you call saying that I
don't know what to think about certain people was diplomatic. Personally,
I call it truthful, and was in the process of researching these guys posts
so I could tell if my gut feeling was based on fact before I flamed without
thinking. But unfortunately, I had to leave for work before I could
finish, and when I got back, I found that somehow I had been mistaken for
being some kind of peacemaker, as if I had gotten too chicken to finish
what I had started. Forgive me for doing my research.
And what on earth is so great about holding to a belief structure? Do you
even know where I was coming from when I came here? I had just barely
started letting go of a religion that I had always had suspicious feelings
about, supressed just under the surface. I had done my thinking, and
gathered up my courage, and taken the first few steps away from the only
way of life I had ever known. I was taking it slowly, because it's scary
to do something that you've been told since birth you would burn in hell
for.
So I changed. What the fuck did you expect? Do you really want me to
cling to beliefs that I don't believe in, just for consistency's sake? Do
you really think that I would stay forever the same? I'm sorry if you
think it a change for the worse. I'm sorry, but frankly that won't stop
me. The transformation from believing what I've been told to believing
what I've found for myself has lost me closer friends than you.
And what do you mean by a party line? You mean I sound like everyone else
here? I won't deny that Shmeng has been a huge influence on the way I view
the world. But what else would you expect? I'm not a college student. I
can't travel. I really don't have many opportunities to challenge my
status quo, and get me thinking about things I"ve never thought about
before - except Shmeng. Shmeng has opened my eyes to many things, but I
have never just bought it hook, line, and sinker. I take what I learn
here, and think about it, and mull it over, and compare it to what I
already know, and discover new things.
Hell, if I were just trying to be like everyone else in Shmeng, do you
think I'd still be in a monogamous relationship? How un-vibey of me. Tons
of what I find in Shmeng makes a lot of sense to me, and I've assimilated a
lot of it, but I'm still the one who picks and chooses and does my own
thinking.
And once again, if you don't like the mix, oh well. Even if you
represented the opinions of all the worthwhile members of Shmeng, oh well.
I've lived without Shmeng, I can do it again. I'll always find new
opportunities to learn, and I will probably change more in the next three
years. It's part of who I am.
As for the whole "black magic" thing, I apologize on my fucking knees for
it. Hell, isn't that such a horrible thing, that Schizo the Great should
actually get sick and tired of fighting a long, drawn out battle on her
own, and actually ask for some help from her friends. I mean, it's not
like I have anything else to do with my energy than keep fighting some
leprous bitch who quite literally lives to try to make me miserable. God
forbid that I actually make use of the resources at my disposal, namely
some good friends who know their shit, and have some of them actually
offered to help.
And what the fuck do you know about this mythical "old Schiz" who would
NEEEEVER do a thing like that? Hate to break it to you, but it's an old
pattern for me, and I would have thought you would have noticed it by now,
seeing you know so much about me. I am, and always have been, a patient
person up to a point, but once that point is reached, I snap, and I snap
hard. Once I decide that a person no longer deserves patience, and that
patience no longer serves me, I have no qualms about taking whatever
drastic measures seem to suit the situation at hand.
You know, I hate to whine, and really I am generally pretty good at taking
constructive criticism, but I really don't know what to do with this whole
mess. To be perfectly honest, I think it's a load of bull. I don't claim
to be perfect by any means. I am most definitely a work in progress, and I
am in a kind of betwixt-and-between phase where I have torn down the old
house, but the new house is far from finished. If that makes me seem a
little shaky, maybe it's because I am. I've never done this before, and
I'm doing it all by feel. And some things I will certainly do wrong, and
have to take apart and redo.
And you know what, I'm pretty pissed off, now that I've come to the
conclusion that this constructive criticism bit really hasn't done anything
to help my construction. I don't know why the hell you suddenly had to
come out of your woodwork and lay this upon us. As if you've ever
contributed much beyond Toy Dolls, which, by the way, is magnificent, but
still doesn't leave you very vulnerable to anyone being able to put the
glaring spotlight on YOUR faults. Except your wife, who you already know
loves you.
This is NOT what this whole thing is about! Do you want a Shmeng filled
with perfect people? Well you can have an empty Shmeng then, because it
ain't gonna happen. THIS is what I wanted to remind people in my
oh-so-horribly diplomatic post. The purpose of the forum is not to
nit-pick everyone's little issues, but to weed out the useless, dead-weight
members from our midst. Yes, let's flame some trolls and twits, and get
them the hell out of here, but let's not just start a wildfire that will
rush along and burn out everything valuable along with the trash.
Anyway, I really don't care much. Hell, I survived twenty-odd years of
fundamentalists picking apart everything anyone did wrong. I'm used to it.
Didn't think I'd find it in Shmeng, but oh well. I guess people are much
the same everywhere, no matter what they believe.
____________________ "You can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the
dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that I'm not the carefullest
of
girls." - Dresden Dolls, "Girl Anachronism"
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 5/7/2004 at 08:05 PM
You know if I'm so fucking hateful than why can't i think of hateful things
to say about people.
And frankly if I have been taking on the voice of the people, which I think
is a flagrant misreading of most of the things I've said, then where the
fuck have you been, Shade? Sitting off in some lonely corner lurking
around, as bad as a troll, but never coming on to say anything about
anything until you feel like you have court sanction from on high. Fuck
that, fuck you.
Being mean, and bitchy because you think you should, or have some kind of
right to is one thing, but being mean and bitchy to people who generally
respect you and think of you as someone of note just makes you mean bitch.
For most of my faults, and I have oh so fucking many, that you would accuse
me of hatred really pisses me the fuck off. I'd ask you to show me, but I
doubt you'd take the time anyway because your to busy hiding in your little
corner of hell to do so, and frankly I don't care. I don't see the need
for it anyway, regardless it's your opinion (and hear I go talking out the
other side of my mouth) your entitled to it.
What makes me the most irate though, is your need to pick on people who
generally don’t deserve picking on, which includes Shciz, Mono, MJ, and
even Callei. Whether you like it or not, regardless of whether you like
their opinions, their actions, or their inactions, at least they are taking
time out of their lives to be here at all. And please, don’t misconstrue
this as putting words in their mouth, it’s simply my opinion of the
situation.
That’s my whining. Enjoy.
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
Aluguarde... in my life time... i have been many things... but little is
not one of them... I was 6'1" 220 in 6th grade...*winks* you're lucky i
only drew a little blood... you could have lost a hand
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 07:42 AM
quote:
angel_of_death: I have learned not to talk much on Shmeng because I will
always piss someone off.
And this is why we have these little moments of bile and explosion. Well,
its one of the hundreds of reasons, but two that are well illustrated here
are the fact that some people talk about how they have stopped speaking
because they are afraid of pissing someone off, in the wrong forum mind
you, instead of asking why they piss people off. It's this vicious
cycle.
In the harshest light of reality though, if you look at the site stats and
watch the action going on today and yesterday, this site has suddenly
reached a level of activity that it lacked for a long time. Many of you are
experiencing heartbeats like you were looking at porn, and everyone is
watching the site like a hawk to see what happens next.
With the exception of Schizo, with whom I may have gone too far, and
Abbadon who I really do just want gone, everyone else's criticism was of
the type that we like to call constructive. Let me clue a lot of you in.
The only difference between constructive criticism and bullshit criticism
is that constructive criticism hurts because it hits home, and bullshit
criticism hurts because the one who criticized didn't care enough to
try.
So far, all of the criticism that has been aimed at me, including that
which came out of the retaliations has been pretty close to the mark, a
little emotional at parts, but that is a huuuuge part of the idea. If we
don't get some kind of emotional kick out of things, what goood are they?
At this point in the 'relationship', we have hit the point where a lot of
us have a pretty good idea who we can and can't sleep with, so we are no
longer suffering through hours of trying to see the nipple in that picture
in the gallery. These days a lot of the well established members are
getting more of a kick from watching the newbies try to screw each other.
And so we come to serious scorched earth troll bait criticism, quite
honestly, no one has ever made the claim that this community is a fluffy
one, true if we were at a Shmeng meet and we saw some fucktwit beating
Abbadon up in the middle of the street, we would stop them and beat the
shit out of the interloper. That doesn't mean we wouldn't then take the
opportunity to get in a few kicks ourselves.
I have been accused of being emotionally unreachable and distant to the
extreme that I leave nothing open to attack, damn skippy, if I've got a
tragic flaw collection, that goes at the top of the list. In this though I
will at least take the risk of speaking for the group when I say that we
love with a fierceness that burns hotter because we can survive this shit.
We love stronger because we do try to express the things that most
friendships and families could never withstand.
And DomKitten: I challenge you to have said this in fewer words. You're
right about me getting overly verbose though
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 10:52 AM
Ouch Feral, talk about hitting straight to the bone. You are right of
course, I have always been emotionally aloof and hard to reach. It means I
miss out on much that life has to offer and that my friends get used to
feeling a little (or a lot at times) alienated all the time. I've always
been obsessed with being perfect, that's not to say I have been, just that
I have always tried to be. I am actually truly aware that it is a lot
easier to hang with someone who is human, I just haven't managed to drop
this particular facade in all these years.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
Shade man... it may have been true... but I was speaking out of pain... it
was a realization that I cam to last night... and as usual... it took me a
while to forge the words from my initial reaction to hurt... I lash out...
as you have seen... but... it needed to be said... I don't care for you any
less... but I desire to know one of my best friends...
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
/>
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 01:42 PM
Challenge Accepted,
What Shade said, as Haiku:
no listeners here
hurtful truth said to all near
growth lies behind pain
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
Shade
Fanatic
Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:27 PM
Cute, generally ineffective when trying t impart knowledge to a non haiku
oriented audience, but point made.
____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for
an
/>
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness
with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of
religion.
/>
-Me
Anya
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 656 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/7/2004 at 02:37 PM
I actually agree with what everyone says, for the most part. I am a bit
too political. At times I will also be wrong about my points. I've tried
to admit my wrongs and apologize when I am wrong, but if I am not doing it
enough, then I suppose I should be trying harder.
On the "flip-flopping" part *maybe I misread*, I sometimes act like I am
supporting another issue just for the sake of controversy. As far as the
friends comment that Schizo made, I do try to get along with people if I
can, despite differences in opinion, but eh...I've been quiet (as you
noticed) for a while mainly because I figured that I was being annoying as
Hells when it comes to politics.
As far as trying to "suck up", that was never my intent. Yes, I try to be
nice, but it isn't me trying to get petted. If it seemed that way, that
was not my intent.
I was getting the vibe that I was getting annoying, but I was waiting for
someone to cut the leash. No, it was not my intent, but I also have a
paranoid nature and therefore, have to wait for someone to tell me
sometimes.
Anyway, I'll obey everyone right now and shut the Hells up.