Comedian
Fanatic Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/10/2002 at 05:49 PM |
Ack, jesus creeping shit! My bad! Ignore! Ignore! ____________________ Make way for the bad guy! |
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MorteAscendo
Member Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 2/10/2002 at 04:30 PM |
*ZIPPIDY POO POP SKANK*
You no longer have to write a literature paper ever again. So you stop
learning all together. Your brains starts to atrophy and becomes the size
of a golf ball. The only motor function you have is to blink and even that
is hard. You drool consistantly and dont enjoy sexualy pleasure (if
someone even feels that sorry for you to do it, or he is a marine and
doesnt give a shit if you can breathe".
I wish that i could fly, stay human, land safely, and no one was the wiser.
hee hee ____________________ "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I". |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 2/10/2002 at 05:32 PM |
Congradulations, Morte, yoo can fly! Yoo get so excited about it yoo keep
telling people even though they can never know the truth. Eventually they
have yoo commited to a rubber room and a straitjacket. Are yoo afraid of
ECT? Oh nevermind...
I wish I could tell people to do things, and they would simpl obey. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 2/10/2002 at 05:57 PM |
*Bada-bing with an accompanying bada-boom*
You are the complete dictator of a small third-world nation. Everyone you
see obeys you... until they all drop dead of a virulent disease spurred on
by the appalling poverty and generally poor sanitation... and are those
soldiers from a larger nation demanding that you account for your actions
in a world court...?
I wish I had health, a little wealth, and inner spiritual peace. ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 2/10/2002 at 06:02 PM |
*Bling Bling*
You start by telling someone to get you a sandwhich while barking like a
dog. When they do so, you then say "Well fuck me with a rhinocerose, it
works".
I wish I had the hour and a of my life back that I lost watching the first
part of "Brotherhood of the Wolf"
Please note, the end of the movie rocked and you should go see it, but talk
about you´re slow starting movies... ____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person? |
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MorteAscendo
Member Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/10/2002 at 04:18 PM |
*With ma fo fo, BLING BLING JIGGA*
You now have that one hour back of your life back, but you relive that same
hour, over and over and over for the rest of eternity. (ever see
groundhogs day)
I wish that i could use 100% of my brain. ____________________ "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I". |
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Comedian
Fanatic Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/10/2002 at 06:42 PM |
*Heels of the ruby red slipper clicking three times*
You have access to 100% of your brain. After looking in a mirror, you fall
to the ground trying to claw your own eyes and and screaming about how your
brain is on fire. Welcome to the hell of other´s stupidity. And you
thought it was bad with only 6% of your brain.
I need drugs, and guns. And possibly cars. ____________________ Make way for the bad guy! |
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Alugarde
Member Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 12:03 AM |
*potcha!*
Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a bottle of aspirin, a
super soaker, and a complete set of micro machines.
I wish I could make people see/hear/feel/smell/taste anything i wanted them
to. ____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions. |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 05:00 AM |
Abra-cadaver!
Yoo coincidently meet a mad scientist who has developed a device that will
enable yoo to do just that! He gives yoo a contract to which yoo agree and
before yoo know it yor in the operating room having the device implanted!
Yay!
The bad news is that it´s a rather bulky device and to get it to fit
properly, certain areas of yor brain must be removed (that right hemisphere
is overrated anyway). Since losing the majority of the creative center of
yor brain yoo are capable of making people hallucinate little more than the
equivelant of infantile stick-figure animation for all the senses. (but
it´s okay, the technology is still young, the next guy they implant won´t
have it as bad as yoo). On the plus side yoo made it into the Guiness Book
of World Records!
Oh yeah, yor also now a drooling retarded parapalegic with wires and little
flashing lights sticking out of yor head.
I wish I could make the laws of physics operate under cartoon logic at
will. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 07:28 AM |
POIT!
You decide to make the world work like a cartoon while walking through a
park one day, and unfortunately, a squirrel takes an axe to you´re head,
then a crow drops a rock on top of you, following which a large tentacled
beast begins to, well, lets just say they don´t call japanese cartoons
tentacle porn for nothing...
I wish I was a famous movie star. ____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person? |
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Comedian
Fanatic Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 08:45 AM |
*plop*
Welcome to the glorious life of stardom. After Doing 5 tv-movies and
getting stuck on a regular series on USA Network,you get shot to death for
a fake rolex and your corpse is held under suspicion of drug possession
when the forensics officers search your car and find about 17 kilos os a
white powdery substance.
I wish I could dance. ____________________ Make way for the bad guy! |
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 09:53 AM |
*tapping my foot... looking back at page 5 and wondering if that was a
snub. Another in a long series of mental notes made* ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 10:20 AM |
*Checks page 5 and notices the missed wish things. Thinks to self, ´damn
double replies, better think fast to fix this one´ then uses magic genie
powers to grant two wishes*
Comedian, you step into the best dance school in the universe, are given
some dancing shoes, a tu-tu, and led into a darkened smoke filled room. In
the room is your instructor, Monolycus, who found inner peace and made his
fortune by teaching others how to do all the dance moves in Dirty Dancing.
Unfortunately, he does this while wearing a G-string, covered fire ants,
which he explains is his spirit animal, and is leading him towards a karmic
balance through their biting.
You begin to have doubts about wanting to dance, but you heard the lock
click as the door closed, and they already cashed you´re check...
I really wish I hadn´t formed a mental image of what I just said... ____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
/>
Does that make me a bad person? |
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Monolycus
Fanatic Posts: 580 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 10:45 AM |
*No worries... just been in the habit of dealing with everyone lately with
a combination "You´ve-GOT-to-be-shitting-me/fuck-that-noise" approach.
Nice save, by the way*
*insert Barbara Eden head jiggling noise*
You have no mental image of what you granted, nor any recollection of the
events of today at all. You find the response later in the forums and
become obsessed with finding out who has stolen your identity to write that
entry in your name. You change all your passwords (which you have
difficulty remembering), spend thousands of dollars to investigative
agencies to find the thief, go broke in the ensuing litigation and never do
discover that you wrote that yourself.
I wish that people would actually listen to what I was saying to them. ____________________ "I believe that woman is planning to shoot me again." |
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DarkTigress
Member Posts: 104 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 01:03 PM |
*cha-ching*
People always listen to what you are saying, and get so obsessed by your
words that they start a cult in your name, and commit mass-murders and
mass-suicide in your name, and then there are no people left to listen to
what you say.
I wish I had a pet-tiger that would obey what I said, and never harm me. ____________________ ~The World Can Continue It's Excistence Without Mankind... But What Happens
To The Mankind When The Earth Is Gone?~ |
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Alugarde
Member Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/10/2002 at 09:39 PM |
*Ala-ka-fjord* You now have a completely obedient pet tiger who never harms
you. Your tiger then makes a trip to the zoo, comes back pregnant, and has
several cubs. The tiger never harms you, but before long, her cubs do.
I wish I wasn´t obsessive compulsive. ____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions. |
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DarkTigress
Member Posts: 104 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 5/10/2002 at 08:12 AM |
*poof*
You´re obsessive-compulsive side is gone, when suddenly something
backfires, and you´re spending the rest of your life being obsessed with
not being obsessive-compulsive. Have fun!
I wish I can put things on and out of fire with my mind! ____________________ ~The World Can Continue It's Excistence Without Mankind... But What
Happens
To The Mankind When The Earth Is Gone?~ |
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Comedian
Fanatic Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 5/10/2002 at 08:52 PM |
*dingdingdingdingdingdingdingbling*
Congratulations, pyrokinesis is now within your power. Unfortunately, the
first time you go to the bathroom you die in a horrible, unspeakable
accident.
I wish I could remember all the things I´ve done. Like the wishes I make.
Good lord, I´m sorry Mono. ____________________ Make way for the bad guy! |
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Alugarde
Member Posts: 185 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/10/2002 at 12:43 AM |
*na-na-na-na-na-na gettin jiggy wit it*
You can now remember every last thing you´ve ever done down to the tiniest
of details. Unfortunately, you can also remember any thought you´ve had
down to the tiniest of details, and soon have trouble distinguishing
between things you´ve down and things that actually happened.
I wish. ____________________ l33t is the bastard cousin of contractions. |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/10/2002 at 01:16 AM |
Is this where I´m supposed to fill-in the blank?
Okay so yoo wish for a big yummy delicious sandwich! Mm-mm! Unfortunatly
the moment yoo bite into it springs shoot bolts into the roof of yor mouth!
That´s all just bolts!
I wish people would just be nice to one another. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else
to
/>
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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