IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 26/9/2002 at 12:44 AM |
How about this for a new game: We get to make a wish, ANY wish, and the
next person has to grant it so that they can make a wish of their own. The
catch is, yoo have to grant the wish in the classic genie style where it
invariably goes wrong or is taken too literally or something the wisher
didn´t intend. It´s Shmeng´s version of the Make a Wish Foundation except
we´re being total bastards to the sick little kids which is okay because we
ARE the sick little kids.
I´ll go first: I wish I had breasts. Big breasts, cup size C will do
nicely. That way I can wear sexy braziers so I can hang a handgrenade from
the clasp so that when I take off my bra, someone gets one split second of
pleasure and then a face full of shrapnel! ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 4/1/2003 at 11:37 AM |
Bingo!
God never existed to anyone.
Unfortunately, someone has always wanted to kill you, but didn't because he
thought God would bitch-slap him for it. You better watch out for those
dark alleyways now, and maybe hire a food-taster!
I wish that snow would never again fall on my car, or any road on which I
have to drive! |
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shadow_in_the_darkness
Occasional Poster Posts: 15 Registered: 4/11/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/1/2003 at 08:40 PM |
Poppa Johns!
Your wish is granted, and you're now a fish......a very big fish. You're so
big you can't fit in the water. Since you're gills require water, you die
of asphyxiation within minutes....
I wish that God never existed to anyone....
Hmm.. this will be interesting... ____________________ I have one big yellow furry monkey ball.....yellow furry monkey
ball.........yellow...*slaps self* oh forget it, its useless, they'll never
understand..... |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/1/2003 at 04:12 AM |
Hubba-Hubba
You're hair now grows so fast that within 24 seconds you have beautiful
long, flowing hair that reaches down to your feet. Alas, it's all pubic
hair....
I wish I wish I wish that I could be a fish.
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Starlight
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/1/2003 at 03:58 AM |
*kooglemoogleearwax*
You now have wings. Unfortunately you no longer have arms or legs;just the
wings. Which make flying in any given direction really hard, and landing
always ends up on your ass or your face.
I wish I could speed up my hair growth.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/1/2003 at 09:17 PM |
*OOOOossamaBiiinnLadennnnnnn*
You don't have to go back to work tommorrow. Actually you never have to go
back to work again. You are magically unqualified to do anything rendering
you completely unemployable, which is great, cause you don't have to work,
but which unfortunately sucks because you will never again be employable.
You end up in a dark hole in hell's kitchen dreaming about the all the jobs
you ever had before, and why you'd do them again.
I wish I had wings. ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/1/2003 at 10:22 AM |
Scooby-Doo!
You now have more harumph. In fact, you are ALL harumph! You can say
nothing but harumph, harumph, harumph! This makes it very difficult for
you to communicate.
I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow. |
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Comedian
Fanatic Posts: 213 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 31/12/2002 at 10:27 PM |
D to the O to tha double b-S!
You're in the best shape you could ever be. Your eyesight is magnificent,
your blood feels fresher and you can do a minute mile.
Unfortunately, the computer end-user lifestyle quickly atrophies your
muscles back to nothing, and labouring under the delusional confidence of
strenght you pick a bar fight and get knifed in the gizzard.
I wish I had more harumph. ____________________ Make way for the bad guy! |
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Psychopixi
Fanatic Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 03:54 PM |
*Flibble - blibble*
You get to see Devin in all his godly nakedness, unfortunately that
glorious sight is just too much for a human to deal with and you pass out,
never to regain consciousness.
I wish I was more healthy. ____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 09:19 AM |
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
Your parents become worldy. They in fact become so wordly that one
Christmas dinner while sitting with your parents and their best friends
Marge and Will, your parents confess to you that they have secretely been
switching partners for years and that they are nudist. You learn that your
father is actually Will and the man raising you was actually your Uncle.
They then stand up, strip bucknaked, and invite you to call a friend and
join their wild, turkey fueled orgy....
I wish I could see Devin naked.... ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 07:01 AM |
Hinky-Dinky-Parlay-Voo!
You can now pick up any weapon and use it brilliantly! Unfortunately, you
can't put them down! Try explaining that to the cops when you go to the
bank!
I wish my parents would become "worldly", instead of being fanatically
conservative Christians. |
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Psychopixi
Fanatic Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 06:19 AM |
Izzza-pow~*~
You find your true self and love it... but manage to lose it down the back
of the sofa, never to be found again.
I wish that I could pick up any weapon and be brilliant at using it!!! ____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 04:31 AM |
Al-a-bama
You are no longer a lawyer, enjoy.
I wish to find my true self, and like what I find. ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Arthegarn
Member Posts: 79 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/12/2002 at 01:10 AM |
Your wish is my command, o shadow_in_the_darkness.
*Poof* You become a male. After getting severly depressed because all your
picking up techniques do not work, you get in a dark alley and force the
first girl that comes around. Then youn return to your own body. Next day,
when you are minding your own business, suddendly someone drags you into a
dark alley and forces you. Ooops, seems you travelled in time and forced
yourself... And the worst thing is, as a guy, you had a huge tool you
couldn't use without hurting her... I mena you... you, not to mention a
nice ghonorrea. Hey, you might even be pregnant!
I know, lawyers are the worst
I want to be happy each single second of my life while retaining my
intelligence, my realistic perception of the world and connection to it, my
moral values, basic personality triats and characteristics, religion and
total loathing of the use of chemical products to increase happiness.
Let's see how you deal with that.
Arthegarn |
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shadow_in_the_darkness
Occasional Poster Posts: 15 Registered: 4/11/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 29/12/2002 at 11:52 PM |
*Bamn shicka nicka wicka wugga dugga boom!*
You have your rayguun! Unfortunately, the first time you use it, you have
it backwards......
I wish I was a guy for a day, fucked a girl, went back to being a girl, and
lived out the rest of my life.....
Muwahahaha!! ____________________ I have one big yellow furry monkey ball.....yellow furry monkey
ball.........yellow...*slaps self* oh forget it, its useless, they'll
never
understand..... |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 29/12/2002 at 02:58 PM |
Analle Nathrach Uthvas Bethud Dotyell Dyenve
He stops playing the stupid trailer park song by eminem. Instead he plays
the happy hardcore rendition of Fraggle Rock done by Spritney Beers, jumps
out of the booth and holds yoo down as he sings along at the top of his
lungs (and my, does his breath stink).
I wish I had a raygun! Yoo know, like they had in cheese 1950s sci-fi
B-movies. It shoots a beam out like a light instead of straight like a
lazer and anyone caught inside the beam truns into a skeletons and falls to
ground smoking! Also when yoo want it to it can do other stuff like shoot
holes in walls and make farm equipment disappear. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else to
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 29/12/2002 at 07:51 AM |
"Sdik Rof Era Skcirt Tibbar Yllis"
All of you bills have been paid my an anonymous donor. Alas in this the
information age the FBI have no problem in tracking down the anonymous
donor and finding out that he is no other than Osama Bin Laden himself who
has apparently grown fond of you for his own mysterious reasons. You are
quickly imprisoned and spend the next several months trying to see a lawyer
without success. Something about National Security...
I wish the korean in the booth next to me would stop playing the stupid
trailer park girl song by mnm.... ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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Schizo
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 897 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/12/2002 at 08:22 AM |
Mele Kaliki Maka!
Instantly, the entire female population of the universe, flora and fauna,
disappears into oblivion! No more girls, no more girl problems!
I wish that all my bills and rent would be mysteriously paid by an
anonymous person. |
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IamSquid
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 658 Registered: 27/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 28/12/2002 at 05:41 AM |
Oh yeah, I remember this game! Cool!
Yor request has been submitted. Yoo should get yor burrito in 6-8 weeks by
which time maggots will have already made it their home (but yoo won't know
that until biting into it). Also the salsa is so hot yor head explodes!
I wish all my problems with girls (as well as any other possible girl
problems) vanished and never returned. ____________________
i wanted to die, and then it progressed into wanting everyone else
to
/>
die so i could watch, and then me die.
-ickgirl |
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Domkitten
Fanatic Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 27/12/2002 at 10:06 PM |
"B-I-N-G-O"
Your boyfriends ex is now as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside.
Unfortunately this forces her to develop a wonderful personality, and one
fatal night your Boyfriend runs into her. Although she is ugly as sin, she
is more interesting now than ever before and he runs off with her, safely
knowing that no other man will ever try to steal her away.
I wish I had a giant bean burrito, topped with guacamolo and homemade West
Side of Chicago salsa, with floutas and sour cream..... ____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus |
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