Subject: drunken idiot..you know youīve been there...
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 06:45 AM
Ok, hereīs another one about Rob. He was on leave from the military again,
and we decide to go camping. The whole time we have been hearing how much
better it is in Germany, and how the alcohol is so much better, and how
much he drinks. We decided to reintroduce him to good old American Liquer.
Well to make a long story short, one of my other friends keeps egging him
on, making him drink more and more. This made us realize two very
important things. First, never underestimate the drinking power of a frat
boy, because he drank Rob under the table and then some. Second, lawn
chairs are very unstable, especiall when drunk. Everybody who sat in one
fell over. The second time Rob fell out of his chair, he looked up, said"
Iīm gonna pukey", he looked to his left, fell face first onto a large root,
then puked, a lot.
Favorite quotes of the night.
Rob, "teennnnttt......" Right before he was carried to the tent.
Brad(the Frat boy) to the sick people "Itīs ok, let it all come up."
Me to Brad "Dude, you just spent the last five minutes feeling me up"
Brad in response "Shit, really, Iīm sorry" then he tipped the chair over.
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 07:40 AM
quote:My boyfriend and I had a
LARp game we had to be at the next day.. At one point, my now-husband saw
him draw back to punch me..
Is this the boyfriend I think it is? īcause if it is, Iīll kick his ass the
next time I see him.... you never told me he was hitting you...
and no, Mike wasnīt the one who wanted his nipple pierced... but that was
the name of the skate-punk for whom the first birthday party was...
J. Wells was the one who wanted his nipple pierced first, and I canīt even
remember who else was there...
____________________
MorteAscendo
Member
Posts: 190 Registered: 6/5/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 10:06 AM
The only drunk story that i have that is worth telling happened when i was
16. Me and my friend Ladd where driving around drunk as a camel in Afgan,
during the enterlude of stupidity we decided to make the adventure more
fun. So we decide to start tailing this Asian guy in a Silver Camero, so
we are getting on this guys ass honking the horn, he starts to drive into
neighborhoods trying to ditch us. So there i am incoherent to the world
hanging half way out of the truck with a lit road flare (we both worked in
a hardware store mind you) the light of the flare gleaming off my multiple
peircings in my face....the guy swerves into a dead end street. SO
there...facing off Camero facing one way, Dodge Dakota facing the other
way. While our raging hormones where daring us to be stupid, the other guy
in the Camero was promptly calling the authoritys. Ladd gives me the most
insane devilish grin an 18 year old nerd from Alaska could give, floors the
truck and proceeds head on with this guy. The Camero starts to move toward
the truck and misses by inches and i manage to toss the flare into the
passenger seat and Ladd pulls the emergency break and turns really hard and
wicked fast gets out. So there we are parked waiting for time to go by
outside of a school downing more of the nastiest beer on earth, Natty Ice
(natural ice for those who know not) and we decide to move. Not even 5
minutes out we get rolled by the cops. There i am freaking out like kid
with his first erection, and the cop pulls us out of the truck and "Frisks"
us (and not in the good way). The cop asked me 2" inches from my face, "DO
YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER SON!" "No sir" I squeak out. He reaches
into he pocket and pulls out a piece of the flare in a plastic bag. At
that point i start to soil myself. But of course we deny the whole thing
and the cop cannot prove a damn thing so he proceeds to lecture us in
"maturity" and leaves us be. So then Ladd and I in a dead silence all the
way to my house, get out and indulge in more alcohol and call it a night.
:roll:
____________________ "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 10:23 AM
Got another one... I just remembered...
I was at a club with some friends,I was about 19 and they forgot to card
me, so I got a pretty plastic yellow bracelet.... I got completly wasted
that night...
We were on our way to Dennyīs and the cops pulled us over. Turns out that
the girl who was driving didnīt have a liscence, and when everyone in the
car conferred, it turned out that I was the only one in the car with a
valid driverīs liscence. Everyone panicked, because I was so drunk I could
hardly stand on my own, slurring speech, the works... They were making me
smoke menthol cigarettes, and memorize an address on one of them, in case I
was asked (all this while the girl who was driving was talking to the
officer) they came back, and he asked if anyone had a driverīs liscence. I
got out of the car and leaned against it, with my head down... I handed him
my driverīs liscence, still not looking at him... he hands it back to me,
and says, "ok, get in the car and drive"
I drove a little way down the road, he followed, then passed us.. as soon
as he was gone, I pulled into a parking lot and told someone else to
drive... Iīm lucky he didnīt pull us over again as soon as I got behind the
wheel and bust me for drunk driving...
Oh lordy you guys are dangerous! A ROAD FLARE? Maybe i missed it but what
did the guy in the camaro do to you? Ah, road rage ala hormones....
I did get angry once and flip a lit cigarette through an open window of
some mullet wearing asshole in a piece of shit mazda that thought heīd be
able to drive like a dickweed and almost crash into me and get away with
it, but I was sober. I really think Iīm more dangerous when sober.
Some of these stories are down right scary! Iīm glad I get really paranoid
when Iīm drunk and am afriad to get in trouble, and I get pretty happy too,
but the temper is still there lying in wait.
Michael and I DID almost get in a barfight in this nasty little dive on
auburn way called cloud 9...some old man...like a john wayne movie "youīre
in my seat"...
He held his ground and I kept my mouth shut until the guy put his hand on
him in an unfriendly way and I instantly made the impression on this man
that I was a ball busting maniac. Michael calls this "bringing out the
pitbull"....what a nickname for your wife...the pitbull.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 02:45 PM
Jesus Morte...at least it wasnīt a hand grenade...right?
Iīve been in a lot of barfights I think...although Iīd definately know
better than to screw with Bettie on even my most inebriated nights...then
again, dismemberment has itīs plusses.
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
Ianthe99
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 04:09 PM
Yeah.. itīs the same kentucky fried ninja.. He didnīt actually hit me tho..
but Iīm told he drew back like he was going to.
J.Wells.... *shiver* ewwwwwww. No.. How dumb can I be.. Mike M. would
never have asked anyone to pierce his nipple.. heīd do it himself! :lol: I
wonder what ever happened to him?
____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins!
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/5/2002 at 06:59 PM
that anonymous up there, the drunk driving story, thatīs me... Meranda...
for some reason my login didnīt work...
Oh, I can handle it when people mess with ME, but as soon as someone puts
their hands on michael I LOSE IT. I tend to be more friendly when Iīm
inebriated, itīs when Iīm sober that Iīm nasty...īcause the temperīs not
all dull and floating in ether. My temperīs best cooled when thoroughly
pickled, but beware the dry season...*snarl*
I really dontī know where I picked up such a nasty disposition...Iīm not
MEAN, Iīve just got a short ass fuse...okay, I am mean and have a short ass
fuse, but my mother is one of those "kill you with silence" types, and both
my sisters are relatively laid back, and my dadīs got a short temper like
me but it takes a lot to get him mad enough to yell.
They said I came out screaming and havenīt stopped since
Iīve come to grips with having polar opposite personalities....Iīm
generally nice, giving, generous and kind (so Iīve been told) but on the
other hand those that say those same things about me think it suicide to
get on my bad side. Wierd isnīt it? Usually alcohol makes people violent
if theyīve got a bad temper...it seems to even me out a bit (yes, an
alcoholicīs delusional train of reason...but I donīt get stupering drunk
often at all...usually when I DO drink itīs just until I get a nice
buzz)
I actually knew a guy once who actually DROVE better when he was high...iīm
not joking. He was an AWFUL driver unless he had a hit of pot or two
before he got in the car.....
Booze does strange things to people...michael is very hard to tell when
heīs drunk...usually I canīt even tell he is until he pukes. He has to be
REALLY plastered before itīs obvious. Me..three good drinks and Iīm toast
and making friends and and ass out of myself all night.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 9/5/2002 at 12:43 PM
After reading some of these posts I started thinking how much fun it would
be to have a big Shmeng party. We could have all kinds of fun games. We
could have drunk shaving contests, drunk road flare toss, and drunken
boxing matches with Bettie.
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Itīs funny you mentioned boxing, īcause I was watching for when the
toughman competition was coming to the northwest because I wanted to give
it a shot *snicker* I think I could hold my own..not very big but thereīs
the temper thing and I really am a scrapper
I was dissapointed that I missed it
and michael said no
Pass the booze and the mits, Iīm ready to go!
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
bloodyroses
Coward
Posts: 10 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 11/5/2002 at 11:36 AM
I think the stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk is have sex with my ex bf.
I dont even think he was aware I had been drinking all night. Anyway, I
came onto his pretty strong. He said I pinned him to the floor and made
him suck my breasts. And he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to have
sex and I kept saying "yes damnit now just f*ck me". I donīt really
remember much about it. But I do know that my ex thinks I still wanna have
sex with him to he goes for my weak spots and it makes me so hot that I
have sex with him even though I donīt really want to. I think thats the
stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk... it seems pretty lame but it makes a
big deal when you see a hot guy checking you out but he wont try nething
because your walking around with your ex and hez holding your hand and
kissing you. :roll:
____________________ Indulge my darkness but don't corrupt my hate.
Psychopixi
Fanatic
Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 14/5/2002 at 11:20 AM
Drunken Idiot stories...
Hmm, can I share one about my boyfriend?
He and his friends had been on a two day bender (*shudders*) drinking a
mixture of Jack Daniels, Vodka and Cider. He was pretty much trashed and
when Carl suggested it might be a good idea to launch himself into a bush
he, naturally, agreed. Problem was it wasnīt a bush; it was a tree
overhanging a flight of steps to a basement of some house.
*Crash* īBuggerī *Crash* īBollocksī *Crash* īDamnī
When he re-emerged a good 5 to 10 minuted later he looked awful, was
covered in God knows what and smelt like something rather dead. As we were
down by the front he decided to take a quick walk down onto the actual
beach with a change of clothes. He came back wearing his boots. And nothing
else, clutching his balls and complaining that it was cold out.
When everyone stopped and stared at him he got all defensive and pointed
out that it wasnīt like he was running round with his hands in the air
going īWooooī. He decided to illustrate his point, stuck his hands in the
air and danced round the car park.
He hasnīt quite lived it down yet.
____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
man, that is exactly the reason I drink with a chaperone....mainly my
husband
Body guard, atm, chaufer, and dad when I need it
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/5/2002 at 05:48 AM
Unless all the guys at shmeng donīt care for children, I wouldnīt arrange
that boxing match...
____________________ Piggy's got the Conch!
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/5/2002 at 06:30 AM
An important discovery was made a few nights ago. You see, I live in the
middle of nowhere, and before I believed that the closest bar was the 19th
Hole, which is about 6 miles from my house, meaning that we need a DD,
which is getting harder and harder to find these days(damn my alcoholic
friends). Anyways, my old time friend and neighbor pointed out that there
is a bar that is actually within stumbling distance from our houses. Itīs
on the golf course rigt across the field beside my house.
I figure, why not give it a try, I mean, what could be more fun than
getting drunk with people that play golf, then stumbling through a
cornfield drunk off of our asses?
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
/>
Does that make me a bad person?
Ianthe99
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/5/2002 at 11:12 AM
Stubling through fields drunk is tons of fun!
____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins!
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 17/5/2002 at 02:02 PM
Been there, done that... it got even more fun when we started playing
"Children of the Corn" by moonlight...
hah, how did you know my nickname was "castrator"?
I DID play soccer for 10 years....
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.
Ashe
Coward
Posts: 5 Registered: 22/5/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 30/5/2002 at 12:46 PM
I have a great drunken idiot story that actually just happened last night.
I was at my mom & dadīs house drinking Goldschlager with my ex Boy. Iīd had
about 5 shots, when ex-Boy started ragging on me about my new Boy and how I
was going to destroy him like I do with every Boy Iīve ever owned. Well, it
escalated to a point I canīt remember, but I found myself locked in the
bathroom, sobbing like my heart would split open and I was cutting my arm
with a pair of scissors. I called my Boy to come get me and take me home,
but he didnīt arrive fast enough to stop me from cutting about 12 times
into my arm. Blood dripped all over the floor and sprayed the wall when I
ran outside to smoke. My mom saw almost everything and was about damn ready
to call the cops and have my ass thrown in a sanitarium. Boy came and took
me home and bandaged me and put me to bed. God, I acted like such a freak.
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, the rest Đ 2001 by VibeChild.com
Add shmeng_syn to your Live Journal Friends List. If you have a website check the webmasters section - You can get this site on your Palm Pilot using This link - By using this website, you are agreeing to abide by our Terms of Use. If you are a bot thinking of spamming members, get your email addresses here