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Author: Subject: drunken idiot..you know youīve been there...

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 06:45 AM
Ok, hereīs another one about Rob. He was on leave from the military again, and we decide to go camping. The whole time we have been hearing how much better it is in Germany, and how the alcohol is so much better, and how much he drinks. We decided to reintroduce him to good old American Liquer. Well to make a long story short, one of my other friends keeps egging him on, making him drink more and more. This made us realize two very important things. First, never underestimate the drinking power of a frat boy, because he drank Rob under the table and then some. Second, lawn chairs are very unstable, especiall when drunk. Everybody who sat in one fell over. The second time Rob fell out of his chair, he looked up, said" Iīm gonna pukey", he looked to his left, fell face first onto a large root, then puked, a lot.

Favorite quotes of the night.
Rob, "teennnnttt......" Right before he was carried to the tent.
Brad(the Frat boy) to the sick people "Itīs ok, let it all come up."
Me to Brad "Dude, you just spent the last five minutes feeling me up"
Brad in response "Shit, really, Iīm sorry" then he tipped the chair over.

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 07:40 AM
quote:
My boyfriend and I had a LARp game we had to be at the next day.. At one point, my now-husband saw him draw back to punch me..


Is this the boyfriend I think it is? īcause if it is, Iīll kick his ass the next time I see him.... you never told me he was hitting you...

and no, Mike wasnīt the one who wanted his nipple pierced... but that was the name of the skate-punk for whom the first birthday party was...
J. Wells was the one who wanted his nipple pierced first, and I canīt even remember who else was there...

 

____________________

 

Member




Posts: 190
Registered: 6/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 10:06 AM
The only drunk story that i have that is worth telling happened when i was 16. Me and my friend Ladd where driving around drunk as a camel in Afgan, during the enterlude of stupidity we decided to make the adventure more fun. So we decide to start tailing this Asian guy in a Silver Camero, so we are getting on this guys ass honking the horn, he starts to drive into neighborhoods trying to ditch us. So there i am incoherent to the world hanging half way out of the truck with a lit road flare (we both worked in a hardware store mind you) the light of the flare gleaming off my multiple peircings in my face....the guy swerves into a dead end street. SO there...facing off Camero facing one way, Dodge Dakota facing the other way. While our raging hormones where daring us to be stupid, the other guy in the Camero was promptly calling the authoritys. Ladd gives me the most insane devilish grin an 18 year old nerd from Alaska could give, floors the truck and proceeds head on with this guy. The Camero starts to move toward the truck and misses by inches and i manage to toss the flare into the passenger seat and Ladd pulls the emergency break and turns really hard and wicked fast gets out. So there we are parked waiting for time to go by outside of a school downing more of the nastiest beer on earth, Natty Ice (natural ice for those who know not) and we decide to move. Not even 5 minutes out we get rolled by the cops. There i am freaking out like kid with his first erection, and the cop pulls us out of the truck and "Frisks" us (and not in the good way). The cop asked me 2" inches from my face, "DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER SON!" "No sir" I squeak out. He reaches into he pocket and pulls out a piece of the flare in a plastic bag. At that point i start to soil myself. But of course we deny the whole thing and the cop cannot prove a damn thing so he proceeds to lecture us in "maturity" and leaves us be. So then Ladd and I in a dead silence all the way to my house, get out and indulge in more alcohol and call it a night. :roll:

 

____________________
"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I".

 





Posts: 116
Registered: 14/4/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 10:23 AM
Got another one... I just remembered...

I was at a club with some friends,I was about 19 and they forgot to card me, so I got a pretty plastic yellow bracelet.... I got completly wasted that night...

We were on our way to Dennyīs and the cops pulled us over. Turns out that the girl who was driving didnīt have a liscence, and when everyone in the car conferred, it turned out that I was the only one in the car with a valid driverīs liscence. Everyone panicked, because I was so drunk I could hardly stand on my own, slurring speech, the works... They were making me smoke menthol cigarettes, and memorize an address on one of them, in case I was asked (all this while the girl who was driving was talking to the officer) they came back, and he asked if anyone had a driverīs liscence. I got out of the car and leaned against it, with my head down... I handed him my driverīs liscence, still not looking at him... he hands it back to me, and says, "ok, get in the car and drive"
I drove a little way down the road, he followed, then passed us.. as soon as he was gone, I pulled into a parking lot and told someone else to drive... Iīm lucky he didnīt pull us over again as soon as I got behind the wheel and bust me for drunk driving...

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 01:52 PM
Oh lordy you guys are dangerous! A ROAD FLARE? Maybe i missed it but what did the guy in the camaro do to you? Ah, road rage ala hormones....
I did get angry once and flip a lit cigarette through an open window of some mullet wearing asshole in a piece of shit mazda that thought heīd be able to drive like a dickweed and almost crash into me and get away with it, but I was sober. I really think Iīm more dangerous when sober.
Some of these stories are down right scary! Iīm glad I get really paranoid when Iīm drunk and am afriad to get in trouble, and I get pretty happy too, but the temper is still there lying in wait.
Michael and I DID almost get in a barfight in this nasty little dive on auburn way called cloud 9...some old man...like a john wayne movie "youīre in my seat"...
He held his ground and I kept my mouth shut until the guy put his hand on him in an unfriendly way and I instantly made the impression on this man that I was a ball busting maniac. Michael calls this "bringing out the pitbull"....what a nickname for your wife...the pitbull.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 856
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 02:45 PM
Jesus Morte...at least it wasnīt a hand grenade...right?
Iīve been in a lot of barfights I think...although Iīd definately know better than to screw with Bettie on even my most inebriated nights...then again, dismemberment has itīs plusses.

 

____________________
In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King

 

Member




Posts: 96
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 04:09 PM
Yeah.. itīs the same kentucky fried ninja.. He didnīt actually hit me tho.. but Iīm told he drew back like he was going to.
J.Wells.... *shiver* ewwwwwww. No.. How dumb can I be.. Mike M. would never have asked anyone to pierce his nipple.. heīd do it himself! :lol: I wonder what ever happened to him?

 

____________________
She who dies with the most toys wins!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 6/5/2002 at 06:59 PM
that anonymous up there, the drunk driving story, thatīs me... Meranda... for some reason my login didnīt work...

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 7/5/2002 at 07:52 PM
Oh, I can handle it when people mess with ME, but as soon as someone puts their hands on michael I LOSE IT. I tend to be more friendly when Iīm inebriated, itīs when Iīm sober that Iīm nasty...īcause the temperīs not all dull and floating in ether. My temperīs best cooled when thoroughly pickled, but beware the dry season...*snarl*
I really dontī know where I picked up such a nasty disposition...Iīm not MEAN, Iīve just got a short ass fuse...okay, I am mean and have a short ass fuse, but my mother is one of those "kill you with silence" types, and both my sisters are relatively laid back, and my dadīs got a short temper like me but it takes a lot to get him mad enough to yell.
They said I came out screaming and havenīt stopped since
Iīve come to grips with having polar opposite personalities....Iīm generally nice, giving, generous and kind (so Iīve been told) but on the other hand those that say those same things about me think it suicide to get on my bad side. Wierd isnīt it? Usually alcohol makes people violent if theyīve got a bad temper...it seems to even me out a bit (yes, an alcoholicīs delusional train of reason...but I donīt get stupering drunk often at all...usually when I DO drink itīs just until I get a nice buzz)
I actually knew a guy once who actually DROVE better when he was high...iīm not joking. He was an AWFUL driver unless he had a hit of pot or two before he got in the car.....
Booze does strange things to people...michael is very hard to tell when heīs drunk...usually I canīt even tell he is until he pukes. He has to be REALLY plastered before itīs obvious. Me..three good drinks and Iīm toast and making friends and and ass out of myself all night.

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 9/5/2002 at 12:43 PM
After reading some of these posts I started thinking how much fun it would be to have a big Shmeng party. We could have all kinds of fun games. We could have drunk shaving contests, drunk road flare toss, and drunken boxing matches with Bettie.

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 9/5/2002 at 11:36 PM
Itīs funny you mentioned boxing, īcause I was watching for when the toughman competition was coming to the northwest because I wanted to give it a shot *snicker* I think I could hold my own..not very big but thereīs the temper thing and I really am a scrapper
I was dissapointed that I missed it
and michael said no
Pass the booze and the mits, Iīm ready to go!

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Coward




Posts: 10
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 11/5/2002 at 11:36 AM
I think the stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk is have sex with my ex bf. I dont even think he was aware I had been drinking all night. Anyway, I came onto his pretty strong. He said I pinned him to the floor and made him suck my breasts. And he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to have sex and I kept saying "yes damnit now just f*ck me". I donīt really remember much about it. But I do know that my ex thinks I still wanna have sex with him to he goes for my weak spots and it makes me so hot that I have sex with him even though I donīt really want to. I think thats the stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk... it seems pretty lame but it makes a big deal when you see a hot guy checking you out but he wont try nething because your walking around with your ex and hez holding your hand and kissing you. :roll:

 

____________________
Indulge my darkness but don't corrupt my hate.

 

Fanatic




Posts: 376
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 14/5/2002 at 11:20 AM
Drunken Idiot stories...
Hmm, can I share one about my boyfriend?
He and his friends had been on a two day bender (*shudders*) drinking a mixture of Jack Daniels, Vodka and Cider. He was pretty much trashed and when Carl suggested it might be a good idea to launch himself into a bush he, naturally, agreed. Problem was it wasnīt a bush; it was a tree overhanging a flight of steps to a basement of some house.
*Crash* īBuggerī *Crash* īBollocksī *Crash* īDamnī
When he re-emerged a good 5 to 10 minuted later he looked awful, was covered in God knows what and smelt like something rather dead. As we were down by the front he decided to take a quick walk down onto the actual beach with a change of clothes. He came back wearing his boots. And nothing else, clutching his balls and complaining that it was cold out.
When everyone stopped and stared at him he got all defensive and pointed out that it wasnīt like he was running round with his hands in the air going īWooooī. He decided to illustrate his point, stuck his hands in the air and danced round the car park.
He hasnīt quite lived it down yet.

 

____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 16/5/2002 at 12:01 PM
man, that is exactly the reason I drink with a chaperone....mainly my husband
Body guard, atm, chaufer, and dad when I need it

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 893
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/5/2002 at 05:48 AM
Unless all the guys at shmeng donīt care for children, I wouldnīt arrange that boxing match...

 

____________________
Piggy's got the Conch!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 463
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/5/2002 at 06:30 AM
An important discovery was made a few nights ago. You see, I live in the middle of nowhere, and before I believed that the closest bar was the 19th Hole, which is about 6 miles from my house, meaning that we need a DD, which is getting harder and harder to find these days(damn my alcoholic friends). Anyways, my old time friend and neighbor pointed out that there is a bar that is actually within stumbling distance from our houses. Itīs on the golf course rigt across the field beside my house.
I figure, why not give it a try, I mean, what could be more fun than getting drunk with people that play golf, then stumbling through a cornfield drunk off of our asses?

 

____________________
Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap. />
Does that make me a bad person?

 

Member




Posts: 96
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/5/2002 at 11:12 AM
Stubling through fields drunk is tons of fun!

 

____________________
She who dies with the most toys wins!

 

Fanatic




Posts: 511
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/5/2002 at 02:02 PM
Been there, done that... it got even more fun when we started playing "Children of the Corn" by moonlight...

 

____________________

 

Extreme Fanatic




Posts: 1570
Registered: 31/12/1969
Status: Offline

  posted on 17/5/2002 at 06:43 PM
hah, how did you know my nickname was "castrator"?
I DID play soccer for 10 years....

 

____________________
Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas.

 

Coward




Posts: 5
Registered: 22/5/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 30/5/2002 at 12:46 PM
I have a great drunken idiot story that actually just happened last night. I was at my mom & dadīs house drinking Goldschlager with my ex Boy. Iīd had about 5 shots, when ex-Boy started ragging on me about my new Boy and how I was going to destroy him like I do with every Boy Iīve ever owned. Well, it escalated to a point I canīt remember, but I found myself locked in the bathroom, sobbing like my heart would split open and I was cutting my arm with a pair of scissors. I called my Boy to come get me and take me home, but he didnīt arrive fast enough to stop me from cutting about 12 times into my arm. Blood dripped all over the floor and sprayed the wall when I ran outside to smoke. My mom saw almost everything and was about damn ready to call the cops and have my ass thrown in a sanitarium. Boy came and took me home and bandaged me and put me to bed. God, I acted like such a freak.

 

____________________

 
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