bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 3/5/2002 at 12:15 PM |
Iīve just been wondering...what is the STUPIDEST thing youīve ever done
when drunk. EVERYONE that drinks has a story of having a little too much,
and Iīm not talking just barfing all night long...Iīm talking super sauced
trashed ANTICS...
Iīve got one (of course)....
It was shortly after my 21st birthday, and I had been thoroughly enjoying
my new freedoms in the land of the inebriated. Michael and I hand enjoyed
a night at trax (a local gay bar *WOO*! gay bars are the best!) and we
arrived home, and I, not wanting to wake up with that awful
boozebingecigarettethroatdeathstink, brushed my teeth in the bathroom
(getting toothpaste ALL over) when my drunken eye spied the bathtub. I
want a bath! I thought to myself, so started the water, staggered into the
bedroom to get my jammies, then hopped gleefully into a nice hot tub.
Left drunk and unattended in the bathroom, the gears in my head began to
turn....Iīm gonna shave my LEGS! I do so, without incident miraculously,
and as Iīm washing my face I realize I need to pluck my eyebrows, as they
were getting unruly. "I hate plucking my fucking eyebrows" I thought
angrily...then spied the previously used razor on the tub edge...and I had
a marvelous idea.
So I proceeded to shave my eyebrows OFF. Got soap in my eyes, all over my
face. Then I had a better idea...if I bend faceforward into the water and
blow bubbles, the bubbles will wash the soap off my face and out of my
eyes! I proceeded to flop faceforward into the water and blow
bubbles....great fun, kids, try this at home.
NEXT thing I know someoneīs got me by the hair and is dragging me out of
the tub yelling "what the fuck are you DOING?! Are you okay?!!"
I was sort of irritated to find michael was the man who had my hair and had
dragged me SO indignified from the water. I opened one eye and said
"washing my face" "NO, " he said "You were drowning...you were under for
almost a minute! What the hell happened to your eyebrows?!"
I insisted I was washing my face with bubbles, and said I was SICK of
plucking so I shaved my stupid eyebrows OFF. He dried me dressed me and
put me to bed, saying I wasnīt allowed in the tub when Iīm drunk anymore,
which made me sad. He still insists I was drowning.
AND when my eyebrows started growing back...UGH. Ever had razor stubble on
your forehead before? DONīT recommend it, kids.
Thatīs just one of the more eventful conclusions to a night at the bar for
me...believe me, there are others....
I wanna know your most ridiculous antics under the influence...cīmon...I
know you have SOMETHING youīve not told anyone..YET. ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/6/2002 at 01:23 PM |
Ack! ____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King |
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Shade
Fanatic Posts: 289 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 1/6/2002 at 12:32 PM |
I still think the worst for me was when I woke at a friends house with a
bar tab for 200 dollars worth of Long Island Iced Teas in my pocket, no
memory of the night before and my friend asking what i and the bartender
had been doing in the phone booth all night. The worst part was he couldnīt
remember which bartender. ____________________ It is only through the lack of sex that humanity derives the need for an
all encompassing blind love. And in that moment of extreme horniness with
no relief in sight, in that moment can be found the birth of religion.
-Me |
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 31/5/2002 at 06:55 AM |
eek! dont you hate it when you tell the truth? ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 31/5/2002 at 06:06 AM |
Christ Callei! I need to go drinking with you one of these days.
I had a recent encounter not too long ago, I donīt remember it much, but
apparently I got drunk and started reading someoneīs palm...apparently I
told them I saw a spider-looking thing in their lungs.
Yesterday the girl told me she has recently been diagnosed with the
beginning stages of lung cancer...
Iīm thinking about curbing my alcohol intake for a little while. ____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King |
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callei
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 759 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 31/5/2002 at 05:51 AM |
one of my favorites features a friend of mine. It was halloween and we
didnt know that she was hypoglycenic. we went to a friends studio to make
some noise (it was supposed to be music, but we were drinking wine coolers
with shots of vodka and eating candy).
Well she ate oodles of red hots and cinamon bears and was drinking the
redwine style wine coolers.
Ok half way through brutalizing "I did it my way" i noticed that i wasnt
seeing three of her on the couch so i went to look for her...
I found her on the roof of the studio, one of those rounded corrigated tin
buildings. I called up to her and she said she didnt feel very good....
Fortunatly for me i got my back turned before i got covered in redwine,
redhots, and cinamon bears. she even got my shoes.
Another favorite is when we got looped on some decent champagne and climbed
up on my friends roof to wtch the sunset. keep in mind we were in a built
up neighborhood with zero lot lines.
We decided that it was wrong to be dressed when the sun went down,
naturally enough. But it make sense to us that our clothes couldnt be on
the roof with us, so we through them down, about half landing in the hot
tub or pool.
That is when the neighbors called the cops....
I was really shy when i was younger and usually stayed shy no matter how
drunk i was. but one night at a club that i was way to young to go to, i
decided to be as brave as my bestfriend and go meet the guy i was lusting
after. she had a very unique way of meeting guys. she would run up to them,
throw her arms around thier neck, and give them a deep, wet kiss, then pull
back and say "oops! i thought you were someone else! but you are a way
better kisser" It is not a good idea to run in a club (uneven floors and
flashing lights), in high heel boots that are a size or two too big, or
think that you are as daring as a drunk aries (unless you are a drunk
aries).
i fell into his lap head first, bruising us both and knocking him out of
his chair. fortunatly he was looped too and while i was being mortified,
embarassed and in pain, he was realizing that a woman had literally just
thrown herself at him...
I have alot of those "get drunk and wake in a strange house/town/state next
to a person that i dont recognize" stories but they are all rather tame. I
woke up next to someone elses best friend(fully dressed) or at a best
friends boyfrinds house sharing a bed with the little sister(fully dressed)
or in san diego(this happens if you live in california) in someones car
(bestfriendīs older brotherīs girl friend) iīll leave them out.
There is one story about a punk bar and vodka, quite a few with hot tubs,
showers, and beach bon fires but many of the people here are under 21/18
and its not legal for them to read that sort of thing. ____________________ Real goths wear silver and crosses to keep the werewolves and vampires
away. |
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Ashe
Coward Posts: 5 Registered: 22/5/2002 Status: Offline
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posted on 30/5/2002 at 12:46 PM |
I have a great drunken idiot story that actually just happened last night.
I was at my mom & dadīs house drinking Goldschlager with my ex Boy. Iīd had
about 5 shots, when ex-Boy started ragging on me about my new Boy and how I
was going to destroy him like I do with every Boy Iīve ever owned. Well, it
escalated to a point I canīt remember, but I found myself locked in the
bathroom, sobbing like my heart would split open and I was cutting my arm
with a pair of scissors. I called my Boy to come get me and take me home,
but he didnīt arrive fast enough to stop me from cutting about 12 times
into my arm. Blood dripped all over the floor and sprayed the wall when I
ran outside to smoke. My mom saw almost everything and was about damn ready
to call the cops and have my ass thrown in a sanitarium. Boy came and took
me home and bandaged me and put me to bed. God, I acted like such a freak. ____________________
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/5/2002 at 06:43 PM |
hah, how did you know my nickname was "castrator"?
I DID play soccer for 10 years.... ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/5/2002 at 02:02 PM |
Been there, done that... it got even more fun when we started playing
"Children of the Corn" by moonlight... ____________________
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Ianthe99
Member Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/5/2002 at 11:12 AM |
Stubling through fields drunk is tons of fun! ____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins! |
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/5/2002 at 06:30 AM |
An important discovery was made a few nights ago. You see, I live in the
middle of nowhere, and before I believed that the closest bar was the 19th
Hole, which is about 6 miles from my house, meaning that we need a DD,
which is getting harder and harder to find these days(damn my alcoholic
friends). Anyways, my old time friend and neighbor pointed out that there
is a bar that is actually within stumbling distance from our houses. Itīs
on the golf course rigt across the field beside my house.
I figure, why not give it a try, I mean, what could be more fun than
getting drunk with people that play golf, then stumbling through a
cornfield drunk off of our asses? ____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person? |
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Ironboots
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 893 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 17/5/2002 at 05:48 AM |
Unless all the guys at shmeng donīt care for children, I wouldnīt arrange
that boxing match... ____________________ Piggy's got the Conch! |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 16/5/2002 at 12:01 PM |
man, that is exactly the reason I drink with a chaperone....mainly my
husband
Body guard, atm, chaufer, and dad when I need it
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Psychopixi
Fanatic Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 14/5/2002 at 11:20 AM |
Drunken Idiot stories...
Hmm, can I share one about my boyfriend?
He and his friends had been on a two day bender (*shudders*) drinking a
mixture of Jack Daniels, Vodka and Cider. He was pretty much trashed and
when Carl suggested it might be a good idea to launch himself into a bush
he, naturally, agreed. Problem was it wasnīt a bush; it was a tree
overhanging a flight of steps to a basement of some house.
*Crash* īBuggerī *Crash* īBollocksī *Crash* īDamnī
When he re-emerged a good 5 to 10 minuted later he looked awful, was
covered in God knows what and smelt like something rather dead. As we were
down by the front he decided to take a quick walk down onto the actual
beach with a change of clothes. He came back wearing his boots. And nothing
else, clutching his balls and complaining that it was cold out.
When everyone stopped and stared at him he got all defensive and pointed
out that it wasnīt like he was running round with his hands in the air
going īWooooī. He decided to illustrate his point, stuck his hands in the
air and danced round the car park.
He hasnīt quite lived it down yet. ____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. |
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bloodyroses
Coward Posts: 10 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 11/5/2002 at 11:36 AM |
I think the stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk is have sex with my ex bf.
I dont even think he was aware I had been drinking all night. Anyway, I
came onto his pretty strong. He said I pinned him to the floor and made
him suck my breasts. And he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to have
sex and I kept saying "yes damnit now just f*ck me". I donīt really
remember much about it. But I do know that my ex thinks I still wanna have
sex with him to he goes for my weak spots and it makes me so hot that I
have sex with him even though I donīt really want to. I think thats the
stupidest thing Iīve ever done drunk... it seems pretty lame but it makes a
big deal when you see a hot guy checking you out but he wont try nething
because your walking around with your ex and hez holding your hand and
kissing you. :roll: ____________________ Indulge my darkness but don't corrupt my hate. |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 9/5/2002 at 11:36 PM |
Itīs funny you mentioned boxing, īcause I was watching for when the
toughman competition was coming to the northwest because I wanted to give
it a shot *snicker* I think I could hold my own..not very big but thereīs
the temper thing and I really am a scrapper
I was dissapointed that I missed it
and michael said no
Pass the booze and the mits, Iīm ready to go! ____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Xaoswolf
Fanatic Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 9/5/2002 at 12:43 PM |
After reading some of these posts I started thinking how much fun it would
be to have a big Shmeng party. We could have all kinds of fun games. We
could have drunk shaving contests, drunk road flare toss, and drunken
boxing matches with Bettie. ____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person? |
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bettie_x
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1570 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 7/5/2002 at 07:52 PM |
Oh, I can handle it when people mess with ME, but as soon as someone puts
their hands on michael I LOSE IT. I tend to be more friendly when Iīm
inebriated, itīs when Iīm sober that Iīm nasty...īcause the temperīs not
all dull and floating in ether. My temperīs best cooled when thoroughly
pickled, but beware the dry season...*snarl*
I really dontī know where I picked up such a nasty disposition...Iīm not
MEAN, Iīve just got a short ass fuse...okay, I am mean and have a short ass
fuse, but my mother is one of those "kill you with silence" types, and both
my sisters are relatively laid back, and my dadīs got a short temper like
me but it takes a lot to get him mad enough to yell.
They said I came out screaming and havenīt stopped since
Iīve come to grips with having polar opposite personalities....Iīm
generally nice, giving, generous and kind (so Iīve been told) but on the
other hand those that say those same things about me think it suicide to
get on my bad side. Wierd isnīt it? Usually alcohol makes people violent
if theyīve got a bad temper...it seems to even me out a bit (yes, an
alcoholicīs delusional train of reason...but I donīt get stupering drunk
often at all...usually when I DO drink itīs just until I get a nice
buzz)
I actually knew a guy once who actually DROVE better when he was high...iīm
not joking. He was an AWFUL driver unless he had a hit of pot or two
before he got in the car.....
Booze does strange things to people...michael is very hard to tell when
heīs drunk...usually I canīt even tell he is until he pukes. He has to be
REALLY plastered before itīs obvious. Me..three good drinks and Iīm toast
and making friends and and ass out of myself all night.
____________________ Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. |
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Meranda_Jade
Fanatic Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/5/2002 at 06:59 PM |
that anonymous up there, the drunk driving story, thatīs me... Meranda...
for some reason my login didnīt work... ____________________
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Ianthe99
Member Posts: 96 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
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posted on 6/5/2002 at 04:09 PM |
Yeah.. itīs the same kentucky fried ninja.. He didnīt actually hit me tho..
but Iīm told he drew back like he was going to.
J.Wells.... *shiver* ewwwwwww. No.. How dumb can I be.. Mike M. would
never have asked anyone to pierce his nipple.. heīd do it himself! :lol: I
wonder what ever happened to him? ____________________ She who dies with the most toys wins! |
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