Not that theres anything wrong with it, but it isn't for me.
That being said, this all started when I asked my girlfriend to wear
something sexy. She promptly told me to stop being so horny. I then
asked her if I made her something sexy to wear, if she would actually wear
it. To this she said yes, she would, as long as it wasn't ugly. She then
promptly told me that I would at that point be rather gay, because, as we
all know, people who design clothing are either over tanned old women or
flamboyantly gay men. I told her that this was not the case, as I was
designing lingerie to be worn by a woman in prelude to my doing her.
She still told me it was gay. She also told me that she expected me to
just bundle up the fabrick and wrap it in duct tape and tell her that I
sewed it up. Little does she know that I can sew. And by that, I mean
manly sewing, like when a soldier get's his arm blown off and sews it and
the merit badge that he got for lumberjacking back on with his teeth on the
battle field while killing nazi's with his other good hand...
Anyways, this leads me to the next day when I am in Wal-Mart looking for
shiny pink silky fabric, and guns. I really felt a need to buy a big
shotgun that day...
A big shotgun, and some pink thread...
Now I have to work up the blue prints (not patterns, I will sew using manly
blue prints like those that helped erect the empire state building) and sew
the thing up...
If this works, and she wears it, and subsequently I get some, I may wind up
sewing a lot more, and maybe getting a big manly truck. With a lift kit,
and big mud tires...
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Meranda_Jade
Fanatic
Posts: 511 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 2/11/2006 at 01:07 PM
I think guys who can sew are sexy. Damned if I would complain if I had a
guy to sew sexy garments for me... I can't sew AT ALL. I damned near
flunked home ec. when I was in middle school because of my deplorable lack
of sewing skills. I'm a girl, and every time I get near a sewing machine, I
break it. This does not mean that I am a failure as a woman or that I am
unfeminine. It means that I cannot sew.
Because you know how to sew does not mean you are gay, or unmanly. It
means you have a valuable skill. You don't need all the redneck manly
accoutrements to offset this. There is nothing wrong with having a penis
and knowing your way around a sewing machine.
Excuse me now, I have to go kill dinner. With my big, manly machete.
____________________
daria_4
Member
Posts: 96 Registered: 29/7/2003 Status: Offline
posted on 2/11/2006 at 01:59 PM
I agree with everything Meranda said... and I laughed out loud at all the
mention of manly accoutrements in both posts.
I can sew buttons onto things. I am pretty good at cross-stitch, too.
Different though, I know.
____________________ "I've told you before, I don't comprehend religion, although
conviction is a concept I'm beginning to get. In any case, a person
with a real religious conviction is, I propose, a religious convict,
and deserves locking up."
Dolorosa
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 856 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 2/11/2006 at 05:50 PM
Two things...firstly, never EVER use the word penis and sewing machine in
the same sentence, no matter the context. Gah.
secondly, yeah sewing and all that stuff doesn't inherently turn you gay,
you need to explain to your gf that the only possible way you can become
gay is by being exposed to the gays, and thus falling into their gay
radiation circle...once irradiated you may attempt to fight it off, but
eventually you'll go clay aiken. Other possible ways to get the gay are by
drinking from the same soda, accidentally looking at a gays rear end and
not going to church.
I can sew, I can even do that sew a guys arm back on thing, though it
doesn't really work too well, and as a prank we once narc'ed a guy up and
sewed his butt crack up like a football, in retrospect that MIGHT have been
a little gay, regardless it was fucking hilarious.
I also suggest when you get that truck, get the mudflaps that have nekked
chicks on em, thats a sure fire de-gayifier roight thar.
____________________ In the valley of the Goats, the Goat Fucker is King
Starlight
Extreme Fanatic
Posts: 618 Registered: 27/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 2/11/2006 at 08:50 PM
I have now laughed myself into a state in which I have just wet my pants a
little.
I remember that I did once know how to sew, although I haven't done it in
years...other than the odd mending or sewing on of a button. If I do still
have a sewing machine anywhere, it must be off gathering dust in a hidden
corner. Perhaps Meranda can machete her way through my spare room and find
it for me.
____________________ "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
tried before." ~Mae West
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/11/2006 at 02:54 AM
Oh man. Okay, as a seamstress myself I must say Xaowolf, you are going to
have to measure your girlfriend. Because what you don't want to do is make
a nice slinky pink garment out of the fabric you made and then find out
that the bust is big enough for two basketballs put together and that the
waist is made for a barbie doll. Trust me it happens.
I will mention that sewing is not gay, but it is very dyke. Extremely dyke.
There is no faster way to undress a girl then by inviting her over to your
apartment where the sewing machine is set up and offering to make some
clothes. "Sure" she says "Take of your shirt" I say. Fantastic. Aside from
that you get the fun of measuring your naked girlfriend for this outfit,
which is very mainly. Nothing like putting a tape measure around boobs to
separate the men from the gays. This is one of the reasons why so many
models are stick thin. What self respecting queer designer wants to have to
measure a naked boobie, see. Very masculine that is. FYI do not ever reveal
said measurements to your gf, or if you must subtract at least six inches.
This is not, I repeat, this is not like measuring the penis, bigger is not
better!
Okay, other then the measurements and the modeling which are both very
masculine you also have the stitching. Come on putting that long thing
piercing needle in and out and in out of out of that slinky soft opening
pink fabric. What could be more male empowering then that, really?
No, my friend you are on to a fantastically masculine new trend. And as
such, I am completely against it. While I would argue that sewing could
certainly be very het, as it might reduce the number of straight girls I
get to see naked I am totally against it. Unless of course you'd like some
help sewing for you girlfriend, I can give you all kinds of pointers.
rambling rambling....
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
gothicmorman
Fanatic
Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 3/11/2006 at 04:21 AM
Sewing something sexy especially for your girlfriend is one of the most
heterosexual things you could do for her.
She probably just said that so that you wouldn't do it because she is such
a woman that she doesn't like your manly fashion sense, simply because it
is too manly. So really she is just afraid of your manlyness.
Xaoswolf
Fanatic
Posts: 463 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 3/11/2006 at 07:48 AM
I think you're on to something with her not liking my manly fashion sense
gothicmorman, she's all like, "and if you want me to wear it more than
once, it better not be crotchless."
I mean, come on...
Who doesn't like crotchless?
____________________ Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs shopping for cargo shorts at the Gap.
Does that make me a bad person?
Psychopixi
Fanatic
Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
posted on 6/11/2006 at 12:04 PM
Brilliant thread! *laughs*
I think sewing is only girly when you're sewing ruffles onto something. Or
your fabric is pink, and has twee little flowers or birdies on it. Sewing
sexy lingerie for your girlfriend is possibly the manliest thing I could
think of to sew. Except perhaps for a football shirt, or something like
that.
I can kinda sew. I can sort out the hems on my clothes, and take them in a
bit if they're too big. And I made a top once. But it wasn't fitted - just
a vest top kinda thing. It's not too hard once you've got your 'blue
prints' figured out.
____________________ Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 14/11/2006 at 03:41 PM
Okay, so I'm curious, how is that the sewing of the pretty in pink frilly
outfit coming along. I mean, the uh, mainly sewing of the sexy very hetro
love gear meant to be worn for only five seconds before it is torn off in a
fit of rage and lust. Either way. And are we perverts going to get pictures
of this thing? Ooooohh...you could wear it an model it for us. That would
rock!
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus
sooo...anyone willing to help me with a project? I cannot sew...I tried and
tried, but I jsut make a mess...and the feral wants a Zoot suit
____________________ The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
Domkitten
Fanatic
Posts: 470 Registered: 23/9/2002 Status: Offline
posted on 14/11/2006 at 09:42 PM
Wow, that would give all kinds of new meaning to "Zoot Suit Riot"
seriously.
I would help, but I think the distance might be a problem. I'd really need
measurements to do it properly and since I don't usually sew for boys I
might be out o luck on it.
However, since Xaoswolf has taken up the namby pamby art (stick out tongue
at Xao) maybe he could do it.
However, you should be able to find a tailor in the states who can do it
for a not unreasonable price...maybe....
____________________ It's like kegel exercises for your throat.~Monolycus