|
|
| Normal Rooms | | General | 4 users
AntiStaticCleaningWi, melinda_halliwell_tu, Mistress_SinisterLov, littlegothgirlthatco |
|
|
|
|
|
Currently no members online:)
You are an anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here |
We have 41 guests online !
|
|
|
 |
 |
Forums
You are not logged in | | |
|
|
|
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic   Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 16/11/2005 at 02:39 AM |
I've been doing tech support for some time now and I tend to pick up
technology pretty quick. I also have years of experience in dealing with
individuals over the phone and being able to determine their knowledge
level quickly and adjust my instructions or questions according to that
level of knowledge.
But you know what.. some people are just dumb as dirt!
You know all those web sites that are dedicated to dumb customers and dumb
tech support agents. Well, that is no bull shit. People don't make that
stuff up! It is real on both ends.
I've had to train new employees for tech support jobs and was often going
to my boss going "get this person out of here now!" just to be ignored.
They would get on the phone and there I was getting calls from the same
people and cleaning up their mistakes. Over and over.
But today I was on the tech end of the mockery. I swear I got a call from
every grandma in Washington State with cable internet and no knowledge what
so ever of their computer.
Me: So what seems to be the problem?
Customer: I just bought this computer and your people came and installed
the modem. After they left your service stopped working!
Me: Ok. Can you tell me what part of the service stopped work?
Customer: All of it!
Me: What lights are showing on the modem?
Customer: Well there were 4 lights before and now there are 3!
Me: Which light is now off?
Customer: The PC light. Your service is broken!
after years of learning it is not worth argueing with them, just fix
it...
Also, at this point I had sent a signal to her modem and it was online with
good speeds but I got no mac address on what is was connected to.
Me: Ok. What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: I don't know!
Me: Is it a PC or a Mac?
Customer: I don't know!
Me: Ok. Is there a start in the bottom left of the screen or an apple
symbol in the top left?
Customer: I don't know!
Me: Is there one or two buttons on your mouse? (I know some macs have two
but this woman isn't smart enough to have rigged that up)
Customer: I don't know!
Me: *blink*
Me: Ok. What does your screen show?
Customer: A bunch of clouds and an arrow pointing up in the corner.
Me: *giving up* Ok ma'am. The PC light is the connection to your computer.
Your computer does not seem to be working. I suggest you take it back to
where you bought it and ask them for assistance.
Customer: What does my computer have to do with your service!!
Me: *bangs head on keyboard*
So do you have similar stupid customer or even stupid tech support stories?
Post them!
[Edited on 11/16/05 by EyeCandyRayce] ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 17/11/2005 at 11:53 AM |
Here is another one. My boyfriend works as a maintenance manager and got a
call one day from someone saying their washing machine wasn't working. He
sent over one of his techs and the tech came back shortly laughing
hysterically.
Seems the individuals had turned off all the water in the apartment because
they were worried about leaks and they had also turned off all the
electricity from the breaker because they were worried about the apartment
catching on fire. Then they couldn't figure out why their washing machine
wouldn't work. ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic   Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 18/11/2005 at 12:28 PM |
It's hard to believe there are people that stupid in the world who are able
to survive. We baby these people too much. It's time for natural selection
to take care of them.
We need Charles Darwin and the Chainsaw of Natural Selection.
http://queenofwands.net/d/20050929.html ____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
|
| |
gothicmorman
Fanatic  Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 19/11/2005 at 02:16 PM |
or we could just sterilize all the babies of really stupid people right
away so they will not be able to have more babies!
or feed them to lygers. "Look its a cat ,here you go, go play" rawr and the
stupid person i eaten.
|
| |
Merry_Widow
Fanatic  Posts: 598 Registered: 24/8/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 22/11/2005 at 09:32 AM |
Now, as awesome as the chainsaw of natural selection is, I would also like
to point out the tech support strips, which start here:
http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20051108.html
and continue on for a few days. Very amusing, all based on actual calls. ____________________
Okay, dazzle me.
|
| |
MystryssRavynDarque
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 648 Registered: 24/9/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 22/11/2005 at 11:32 PM |
| I love that comic, and the tech support ones are really funny. I like the
one where she gets all flowery and lovey dovey looking. It cracks me up. ____________________
"People always say what we are looking for is a meaning for life…I don't
think that's what we're looking for. I think what we're looking for is
the
experience of being alive." -Joseph Campbell
|
| |
Psychopixi
Fanatic  Posts: 376 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 23/11/2005 at 07:09 AM |
I've just finished reading the whole of Queen of Wands, and my Gods! I
loved it! I followed the link to Friendly Hostility too, and totally fell
in love with it.  ____________________
Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
|
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 23/11/2005 at 11:13 AM |
New story and this is not a joke.
One of the techs here at work got a call...
Tech: Ok Ms. ____, I need you to open a new window.
Customer: Ok. Hold on.
*Long pause*
Customer: Ok. It's open but now it's cold in here.
Tech: *uses mute button to laugh*
Yes folks.. she opened a window.. literally.
[Edited on 11/23/05 by EyeCandyRayce] ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 23/11/2005 at 02:23 PM |
| OMG! I love queen of wands!! I work for a cable company doing tv and inet
support so that specific link is very amusing. hehe ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
dead-cell
Fanatic  Posts: 344 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 23/11/2005 at 03:12 PM |
Side Note:
Hey, if you like Friendly Hostility, then you will probably like Boy Meets
Boy too. Friendly Hostility is a spin off of B.M.B.
http://boymeetsboy.keenspot.com/
[Edited on 11/23/2005 by dead-cell] ____________________
co-worker: "Your gay!?"
myself: "Didn't you see my rainbow pin?"
co-worker: "I just thought you liked skettles."
-(yes, it actually happened to me)
|
| |
gothicmorman
Fanatic Posts: 233 Registered: 11/7/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 29/11/2005 at 05:38 AM |
quote:
New story and this is not
a joke.
One of the techs here at work got a call...
Tech: Ok Ms. ____, I need you to open a new window.
Customer: Ok. Hold on.
*Long pause*
Customer: Ok. It's open but now it's cold in here.
Tech: *uses mute button to laugh*
Yes folks.. she opened a window.. literally.
This one is brilliant! *laughter ensues*
there was a good comic posted on another forum I go to where this guy
phones to order a pizza and it goes about like this:
"I would like a large pizza with everything please"
...
"Yes, I want anchovies... and all four cheeses"
...
"Look I don't think you understnad, i want to see EVERYTHING on this pizza,
i want to see the phone you are holding on this pizza!"
...
"Yes I want ot see your ass on this pizza"
I like that one because it is a different way of seeing it. It seems like
in cartoons it is usually the customer who is the smart one and the service
person who is the moron. Or at least the main character is less moronic
than the person he or she is talking to and the main character is usually
(though not always) the customer in comics. In real life on the other hand
it seems to nearly always be that the customer is a total moron.
|
| |
Tiresias
Occasional Poster   Posts: 12 Registered: 24/7/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 1/12/2005 at 06:26 PM |
God...that brings back memories.
I worked tech support a few years ago and it was quite an experience. This
place had an insanely high turnover rate because the job sucked and
management was horrible. Of my training class of 30, I think I was one of
the last 3 or 4 people to leave, and I wasn't there real long.
The sheer level of idiocy was astounding. My favorite call that occurred
while I worked there (though I did not take this call):
Caller: The darn thing won't take.
Tech: Are you trying to install the software?
Caller: Yep, and the darn thing won't take.
Tech: What error message is coming on the screen when you try to install
the software?
Caller: The darn thing won't take.
Tech: When you put in the CD, a message comes up on the screen and says
"the darn thing won't take?"
Caller: That's what I've been telling you.
Tech: I'm sorry...your operating system seems to be currupt...you'll have
to call Microsoft.
The tech who helped this guy told me he wondered if the guy had somehow
purchased Windows 98: Southern Edition.
Even though I hated working there, they had me training people (including
on the day they made me tender a letter of resignation to prove I wouldn't
work there unless they changed my hours as promised when they hired me). I
used this opportunity to amuse myself by talking my trainees into quitting.
I think of all the people I trained, only one didn't quit before training
ended.
The only job I've ever quit without giving two weeks' notice. I just woke
up one day I thought "you know what...I can't go in to work anymore."
Fun times, fun times. The money was decent though. ____________________
"If you scratch a cynic, you find a disappointed idealist"
|
| |
feralucce
Extreme Fanatic  Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 2/12/2005 at 11:44 AM |
Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
me: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
me: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this
computer talk, ok?"
me: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in
front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
me: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
me: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
me: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
me: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
me: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out
of it."
me: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."
Then it took me fifteen minutes to convince him that he had a Mac. Even
after showing him "About this Macintosh." I spent another fifteen minutes
trying to convince him that Windows 98 wouldn't work on his Mac. He said it
should work because Windows 98 is for PCs, and he had a PowerPC. I think
he's still trying to get it to read that CD, because I never could convince
him.
____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
|
| |
crash
Occasional Poster  Posts: 37 Registered: 27/11/2005 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 01:55 AM |
I don't work tech support, however I do work at a catalog call center where
I take the orders of rich senior citizens and young yuppie mothers. It's a
fun time, you know, if you enjoy shoving your thumbs through your eye
sockets. I can certainly identify with the stories that have been shared
thus far.
Me: Alright, I'm ready for your first item number.
Cust: Okay, it's on page 34. It's a comforter set... Queen size. It's on
sale for 29.99.
Me: *long pause* And the item number is?
Oh, this one annoyed me.
Me: May I have your zip code?
Cust: How about my address? *starts in with street number*
Me: Uhm, actually if I could just get your zip code...
Cust: OH! Okay!
Orr...
Me: And the zip code?
Cust: Roanoke, Virginia.
Me: *long pause* Could I have the zip code?
And I really love it when customers make up random free shipping offers and
then get pissed off when I say they need a code for the offer.
Cust: Do I get free shipping on this order?
Me: No, unfortunately you'll need to pay shipping and handling.
Cust: Well, that's just ridiculous! No other catalog has shipping.
I'd like to see these catalogs.
____________________
|
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 02:07 AM |
LOL.. That reminds me of a time that I worked in Tech support for a major
cell phone company. Some guy called in with a two year old PDA and said I
should replace it for free even though his 1 year manufacturer warrenty was
expired. He wanted me to ship him a brand new $800 PDA in trade for his
ancient one.
Me: "Well Sir. If you go buy a printer and two years later it breaks,
neither the printer manufacturer or the company that sold it to you will
just give you a new printer fresh out in replacement. Most warranties only
cover repairs and for a limited time. It is in your terms of purchase.."
Customer: "The place where I buy my printers would!"
Me: "Really, would you give me their company name and address because they
are the only ones in the world who would and I should go buy a printer. I
have a two year old broken printer at home right now and I'm having to buy
a brand new one."
Customer: "......................" *click*
[Edited on 12/6/05 by EyeCandyRayce] ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
crash
Occasional Poster Posts: 37 Registered: 27/11/2005 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 02:48 AM |
Hahah! That reminds me of another situation. A woman called in to ask if
she could return a set of sheets because she was shipped the wrong color.
Now, we have a 90 day return policy, no exception, regardless of any
situation, which this woman was aware of. I pull up her order and what's
this? The items shipped out two years ago, which I brought to the
woman's attention.
Cust: Well, I never opened the package! I didn't even open the box!
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's been far too long. Perhaps if it were only a
few days past the 90 days then I could do something, but it's been two
years.
Cust: I want you to take my name off your mailing list.
____________________
|
| |
Anonymous
Posts: 116 Registered: 14/4/2002 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 03:05 AM |
*laughs*
Just proves that stupid people should be shot!
Oh wait.. did I say that in my out loud voice?
|
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 03:06 AM |
| Sorry.. that anonymous was me. Timed out due to distractions. ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
feralucce
Extreme Fanatic Posts: 1810 Registered: 31/12/1969 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 06:27 AM |
| not shot... cause that is not guarenteed to kill em... euthanized and used
for a clean, cheap source of food ____________________
The earth turns on a tilted axis - just doing the best it can.
Hohenheim of Light~Full Metal Alchemist
|
| |
EyeCandyRayce
Fanatic Posts: 247 Registered: 19/1/2004 Status: Offline
|
posted on 6/12/2005 at 07:39 AM |
Just ask Devin and MRD, if I shoot them, they will definately stay down...
forever. Sorry it takes you multiple shots. *Evil Grin*
[Edited on 12/6/05 by EyeCandyRayce] ____________________
Suicide Hotline - Please Hold
|
| |
|
|
|
