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| Articles: Spice in the Vanilla Rack |
Posted by
Devin on Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 04:15 AM PST
Everyone has some kind of vague idea of what kind of relationship would make him or her happy. Some people are even pretty clear on what kind of people they are attracted to. I'm constantly hearing people talking about their soul mate, or saying, "maybe I've found The One". I've found that the best thing to do is to keep my mouth shut and not say a word - but I shouldn't have to.
In this overly politically correct world, why is it still so politically incorrect to prefer to be with more than one person? To keep people from being offended, we've changed the English language to accommodate black folks as African Americans, garbage men as Sanitation Engineers, and midgets as Vertically Challenged. Yet I'm still a fucking weirdo.
Well, I am a very offended fucking weirdo thank you very much. I am offended daily by the media and by conversations I overhear, and even by conversations that I'm a part of. I was even talking to a gay couple once who thought that they should be able to get married, but I shouldn't be able to marry the 2 girls I was seeing at the time if I'd wanted to. They said I should have to pick one.
Watching the latest round of reality TV dating shows has gotten me thinking about this again. The fairy tale ending was obviously designed to appeal to the largest possible audience, but it only succeeded in alienating me. Instead of thinking "Oh how sweet", I was thinking, "Why did they make him pick one, when he obviously would have been happier with both?" I was also thinking "Too bad that could never be me on that show". Nobody would make a show like that where the contestant got to pick 2 people in the end. I personally think it would be fun and amusing as hell, it would put a whole new spin on things - but it would never happen. The politically correct would not allow it for fear of offending someone. This offends me yet again.
Another interesting part of this dilemma which I've noticed for years is that there are quite a few people out there who agree with me in principal. They call themselves polyamourous, and there are some surprisingly large communities of them across America. My impression of the Seattle "Scene" is a bunch of fat bored married people, and a bunch of psycho slutty stripper bimbos who need to eat something besides lithium.
Although technically I am polyamourous, I rejected the term long ago because these communities have rejected me. It seems the vast majority of polyamourous people don't consider you poly if you're single. Apparently you have to be married, or otherwise romantically involved to have a license to use that label. To me, that's like saying you're not gay unless you're currently sleeping with someone of the same sex.
I have had people tell me over and over that committing yourself to just one person is the ultimate in intimacy, so I of course had to try it for myself. I tried repeatedly. In my days of searching for an identity I tried everything. I tried it enough different ways to rule out the possibility that I was doing it wrong. I finally realized that the people who were telling me these things had not tried it my way, and didn't know the difference. (Trying a threesome once with people who don't share well doesn't count). The arguments always seem to come back to tiresome old topics like commitment, loyalty, faithfulness, and cheating. I've pretended to understand, but I never fully have, how these words came to be used to mean monogamous.
Commitment is commitment whether it's to one person or 50. Faithfulness and loyalty don't have any different meaning just because they are applied to more than one person. Cheating is cheating, but if you're not lying to anyone or doing something behind his or her back, and you have the permission of everyone involved, it is not cheating by any stretch of the imagination. All of these thoughts are better discussed elsewhere on the net, so I'll stop here.
I've also noticed that a lot of people try and connect it to the adolescent fantasy of sleeping with two girls to try and understand it. It really doesn't have much to do with the adolescent fantasy at all. There's nothing quite as erotic as 3 way kisses in the shower, but I'm sure everyone agrees that fun sex does not necessarily make a satisfying relationship. The intimacy comes from sharing everything. Sharing sexual partners and romantic interests is pretty much the ultimate in sharing. It also eliminates most of the bigger things that monogamous couples find themselves lying about. The lack of secrets or, more specifically, the lack of reasons to keep secrets makes for a kind of trust that you just can't get in a vanilla relationship.
It's about the conspiratorial whispers and late night giggle sessions where one person is telling the other about a date with a third. It's about hearing details about a date when you know you might get some of the same. It's about the way people listen to your date stories when they know they might get some of the same. It's about having someone to lean on who really does understand and care when a lover leaves. All of these things create intimacy in ways that monogamous people refuse to even contemplate.
Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it. I've heard this over and over, but nobody ever seems to mention that knowing what you want eliminates most of your options. There is no longer any point in continuing to date somebody after I know that they will never share well. I'm not opposed to meeting people and finding new friends, but I'm not even sure I need more friends to tell me I'm a weirdo.
So if you are one of those people who complains about not being able to find "The One", this article is to let you know that people are quietly laughing at you. I know it seems like a tragedy to you that you can't find your other half, but for those of us looking for our other two thirds or more, I'm sure you can see how it would be amusing. Be grateful that you only have to find someone who fits well with you, and don't have to worry about how they get along with another person.
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| Note: This article was written about a year ago and never posted. I just found it and cleaned it up |
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| Spice in the Vanilla Rack | Login/Create an account | 54 Comments |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by MystryssRavynDarque (A1Mandi04@aol.com)
on Mar 10, 2004 - 06:44 AM
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Damn fucking right! A girl in my class the other day said that she would like to get married some day, but she wants to still date other people while married. I said "Well then why don't you?" She told me it is wrong and weird and I am weird for the age of the person I like so I shouldn't be handing out advice. Yep, I guess there are some things the world isn't ready to accept into the mainstream, and what is that quote by George Carlin about the mainstream? Oh yes "The mainstream is reffered to as a stream because of its shallowness."
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Anonymous-Coward on Mar 10, 2004 - 07:59 AM
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I think that if you're mature enough to except that kind of relationship that you should definately do it...But I'm from the otherside of things....I know you're laughing...But I like the idea of manogomy, it seems to work for me.....besides I don't beleive I could handle a "sharing" relationship, guess i'm not ready for that, or maybe that's not what I want at all....but I'm not gonna keep anyone from what they want, that would be selfish. In a "Monogomist" relationship you can share all those secrets and all that...It's just that some people choose not to share themselves with other people, not as a test of love, not because of selfishness...but because that's what they want....Even with my veiw on things I wouldn't call you a weirdo....mainly because you know what you want and you're not willing to settle for less...and it seems to me that as long as everyone involved understands and can handle it, then it's just fine. Hope ur not offended by that.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:29 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/ | | Replies to this comment have been moved because of a stupid and annoying bug in the site. Please reply to this one elsewhere. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 10, 2004 - 08:20 AM
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so as soon as you get a lover, you stop talking to your family and friends? so that you dont "share" yourself with anyone but that lover?
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org) on Mar 10, 2004 - 08:38 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | That's a good point actually, and one thing I never understood about how most people see relationships. To me, relationships are just relationships and sex is just sex, and that a relationship with sex is just a happy coincidence. So many people think that sex makes it more than a relationship, or that you can't just share sex with your friends who are not love interests, but I guess I missed that day in morality 101. They accept that you can love your father and your mother and many other family members, but only one person with whom you are having sex. It also seems like sex is treated as sacrosanct, like it proves love or means some sort of commitment (like a marriage certificate is supposed to do) when it's really just a matter of LAGNAF (pronounced like, and not unlike, lagniappe). I don't get it. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org) on Mar 10, 2004 - 08:41 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Personally, I don't see why people aren't relaxed enough for city busses to turn into giant rolling orgies, since nobody has anything better to do with that time besides try to avoid eye contact. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Zero (-) on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:02 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | That would make this world a better place. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Kira (mod_complex-at-hotmail.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:37 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | Rogue, have you ever seen the people that ride the city busses in Columbus? I think I would go blind!
::: shudders ::: |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Anonymous-Coward on Mar 10, 2004 - 09:50 AM | | Maybe I wasn't so clear....I meant that I wouldn't have sex with anyone else....not that I would cut myself off from everyone but that person. Are talking and sex the same thing? I totaly get that commitment doesn't necessarily mean that you can't commit to multiple people, I'm just saying that I would rather not be in that kind of relatiship right now...or maybe I misunderstood the use of the word "share".....What exactly do you beleive that sex is when you have it with someone that you love and then have it with someone that you don't care to see the next day?? Is it like talking and hanging out with freinds? Personally (and not because it's socially exceptable or anything like that) sex for me isn't something I could do with just anyone. I don't mean to be rude or "holier than thou" or something if I came off that way I'm sorry. Than again I never said that I thought it was wrong....in fact I find it fascinating and I think that anyone who can do that is more well adjusted than I'll ever be....I mean one love tough as it is...but two must be twice as hard. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:13 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/ | Callei and I predicted these kinda comments for her article on "Love" that's about to go up in a few days.
You're illustrating the point by saying "sex with someone you love" - you're implying that there's only one kind of love - black and white - no different kinds. I love everyone I have sex with to some degree. Even the ones I know I'll never see again. I love my friends, whether or not I have sex with them.
Also, sex doesn't mean penetration as you're implying (ask any lesbian). Sex doesn't even need to involve slippery bits (ask BDSM people). And yes, you can have sex by just talking - try it. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org) on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:24 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | Heh, people have wildly different views of what sex actually is, I have found. I knew a girl once who had sex with lots of guys while her husband was at work, but said she wasn't cheating because "it was only anal, and anal doesn't count". I have had experiences that I would classify as sexual that were as simple as an exchanged glance in a gas station or a conversational game. Conversely, I have had experiences that I did not consider sexual that involved intercourse. In the end I think people worry about it too much. Feel how you want to feel about whoever you want, and play/interact/share with whoever you want, that's the only sure thing.
Keeping something locked up doesn't mean it is valuable, and sharing something doesn't mean it is worthless. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:32 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/ | | Heh - reminds me of one of my favorite lovers. Not sure what her name was - I called her EyesexGirl. We were having sex for about 8 months a few years ago. I never talked to her or touched her - but damm that was some good sex. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:04 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com | | Mmmm, brain sex! Now that's the goods. I can boink just about anyone I find attractive, but to have really good brain sex there has to be a connection. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Zero (-)
on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:36 AM
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I never had sex by just talking....I would really love some instructions on how exactly, i would love to try it.....Now words seem to be coming out of my mouth that I didn't even know I was saying.....like penetration = sex...I didn't say that. And i do beleive there's a grey area in "love".....And that just proves my point..."I love everyone I have sex with to some degree." Doesn't that mean that you wont have sex with someone you don't love.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 10, 2004 - 11:12 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | this is where it gets tricky for the hard of thinking. love comes in many sizes and shapes. when dev says that he loves them all to some degree, stop and think about the last part "to some degree".
that degree might be the way their eyes shine, the sway of thier hips, the little noises they make when they are on top, and how sweet they look when they cum. it doesnt imply or mean that he likes or love fuck all else about them.
love isnt about spending the rest of YOUR life with them, its about caring for who they really are. If all you know of them is just a few moments or instances of them, you can love them. and love them deeply, as far as you know them.
You can appriciate who they are and what they do for you and want to do nice things for them. that doesnt make them part of your life or you part of thiers.
and your implied definition of "love' is the stumbling block to this conversation to my mind.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Zero (-) on Mar 10, 2004 - 11:28 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | I thought that was the kind of love that he and I were talking about...I thought we were talking about all those kinds of love....My point was that I didn't think he would have sex with anyone he didn't love or care about to some degree...I talking about some kind rigid love...but I also think that he wouldn't hurt someone that he loved or cared about to some degree....meaning would he have sex with someone knowing it would hurt someone else he loved??? |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:12 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com | I think one of the points being made here was that if someone, for the ease of conversation lets make it female and give her a name. Juliette works. If Julliette, the endlessly romantic type, is the type to get hurt by her lover having intercourse, having sex, sharing love, conversation, or just a movie with someone else, then Julliette isn't going to get into Devin's pants, metaphoric or otherwise.
So, in one way, you could say that no, he wouldn't have sex with someone if it would hurt someone he loved, but to be really clear, that's because he is consciously being aware of his own drives and interests; and as such he isn't going to hook up with, or really, even hang out with someone who is going to be hurt by sharing. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:16 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | it is hard for me to answer if he would have sex with person A knowing that it would hurt person B. I know the answer but its not really my place to say it for him. Let me use me as an example.
In my case the answer is yes, I would have sex with one person even if i knew it would hurt someone else i cared about. but it depends on why they would get hurt.
I have had sex with a new lover even tho I knew my ex-lover still wanted me and would be upset that i had moved on to someone else. We had been over for months but he was feeling sentimental and wanted someone to play romantic games with. I wasnt interested in playing those games with him and i was clear about it with him. he still got his feeling hurt that i was seeing someone else.
I have had sex even tho a parent of mine was hurt to realize that thier child had grown up and was now an adult. And be warned kids out there, you having sex will remind your parents that they are getting old and this will upset them.
I have had sex with person B while dating person A. we hadnt said that it was a monogamous relationship, we were just dating. She got her feelings hurt because she had made assumptions about our relationship and i sorta guessed that she had made them, but there was no reason really for me to behave the way she wanted me to and not have sex with someone else that i really liked and was also dating. She had this idea in her head that we would be the cute, lovely lesbian couple and would move in together. She didnt tell me that, of course, til she was handing me the break up speach.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Zero (-)
on Mar 10, 2004 - 10:49 AM
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there is so much i don't know...How do you eyesex???.....please tell me.....maybe that could be an article topic. THE OTHER WAYS YOU CAN HAVE SEX....AND HOW TO DO THEM ALL by Devin. OK so the title needs work....but pleeeez I'm just dieing to know.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Mar 10, 2004 - 11:00 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | i understand eye sex all too well... *shiver*
There was also a boy I knew in the 9th grade. We never really spoke to each other... just kept giving each other "looks". One day, and I have no idea who started it, we started whispering profanity at each other. That was the most interesting and intense biology class I was ever in... We didn't do anything else either, didn't speak to each other, just went back the next day to giving each other "looks". |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 10, 2004 - 11:05 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | man i remember those sex partners! there was this girl in my physics class. I dont know either of us passed the class. I was soaked thru my pants every day after that class.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:33 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com | | I still remember advanced geography class. This girl sat in front of me and we spent all class every class with our hands slipping and sliding underneath the desks. We never actually spoke outside of that class, but I still think Australia is a small austrian viallage outside Montenegro. Wow, those memories still make me short of breath. Most of the time we didn't even touch, we just tried to get as close to each other's skin as possible without making contact. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by dydxe^6 (elegy6@hotmail.com) on May 02, 2004 - 08:40 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Ah... so many different forms of intercourse! Many of them inherently simple, but none the less absorbing. Case in point; there was a girl in my chemistry class that could take me to the edge simply by running her fingernails up and down the underside of my forearm. I was completely unprepared for college chemistry because of this seemingly inocuous, but undeniably sensuous act. In a world where sex has been turned into a commodity, shoved down our throats a thousand times a day, that seemingly innocent contact is in ways more intimate that many of my other sexual experiences. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by EyeCandyRayce (aesaraymondsdottir@yahoo.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 08:22 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.raycedesign.com/eyecandy/ | | Jealousy is a normal emotion and while most poly people don't feel it, I know many who do. When it happens they find ways of dealing with it that are productive. For instance, my boyfriend's wife only gets jealous if she is in the house alone while he and I are in another part of the house having sex. This bothers her so she goes to her boyfriend's house. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 08:40 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/ | | There's always certain things like that for me too - certain things still make me jealous. The first trick is to figure out what they are. As soon as you know that, it's usually trivial to figure out a way around it. It's way harder to figure out what that specific thing is - since jealousy by nature, blinds you to it's cause. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Kira (mod_complex-at-hotmail.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 11:51 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | Most people can only see jealousy as a bad thing, but really...if it didn't serve some kind of evolutionary function we wouldn't feel it.
I get jealous as hell sometimes, but luckily I know how to make it a productive emotion. Sometimes nothing can make you appreciate the person you're with more than being really jealous of someone! |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 11, 2004 - 12:15 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | | its like a HUGE danger flag warning you that something icky is already underfoot. I get jelous sometimes too, and for the strangest things. but learning to avoid and deal with the stupid jelousy things and to deal with the smart jelousy things are part of growing up. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Gryphon (Gryphon_M@hotmail.com)
on Mar 10, 2004 - 03:45 PM
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That was a good article... well thought and well written.
I find myself in a frustrating situation being poly... I am most definately poly. The notion of only loving THE ONE person for the rest of my life is quite alien to both I and my wife. (BTW, I believe that singles can be just as poly as anyone) Unfortunately, while my wife has no problem finding others to share herself with, I never seem to be able to make that connection. While there are various causes... it mostly boils down to rejection. I have all of the freedom and none of the opportunity. I have become rather frustrated and sometimes depressed about this.
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 11, 2004 - 01:36 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | wow that is rough? do you just work to much or not go places where there are people that you might like or something easy like that?
can you ask for her help to hunt?
as for rejection, that is a toughy. i feel for you. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Gryphon (Gryphon_M@hotmail.com) on Mar 11, 2004 - 02:51 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://mandrakken.homestead.com/index.html | I work an 8am to 4pm M-F job and there are plenty of places that I can and do go to hunt... there is no lack of potential contact, just a lack others being interested in me.
I have asked for her help... but niether she nor I really know what she can do to help.
Being the bystander in a poly relationship all the freakin time is not only getting old, but it is getting painful too. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org) on Mar 12, 2004 - 06:06 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | I can see your point there, and I have gone through a similar thing. For me though, it is my paralysing shyness at clubs and the lack of knowing how to start conversations that keeps me from meeting people. I like going to clubs and have a good time, but often don't talk to anyone unless Meranda introduces us. She approaches people and gets approached by them, because it seems to be the role of women to be approached and the role of men to approach, and cuz she's hot.
I try to not let it bother me though, because I know that it is my doing and that I need to both seem approachable and do some approaching if I want to enjoy the same kind of attention that she does. I have the occasional relationship, every other year or so, but it is almost always somebody that is introduced to me by someone else. That's something I am working on currently, and I actually think that most of the people who go to the clubs where I go are also dealing with the same sorts of things, they just use their clothes to try and lure people into making the first move. Like the guy in black and white that looked like Vanilla Ice at 1470, if you noticed him.
I guess my point is that you never know if people are interested or not unless you find out, and they may be wondering the same thing and not approaching you so you have to approach them. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 06:17 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | What Rogue isn't mentioning, and I think it's because its sometihng he just hasn't thought about, is that in all our years together as a poly couple, he's the only one who has attracted real relationships. I have gotten laid here and there, but I haven't found anyone I'd like to bring home and keep. At least not anyone who's available and/or willing. He goes for quality, and that's going to reduce the number of "hits" he's going to get. I get flirted with, yes, but that's generally about as far as it goes at the club. Or the grocery store. Or the kids' playground. Or anywhere else I go where there are other people. That's just because I talk to everybody and I'm really friendly. When he does talk to someone, they're usually very impressed with him, and want more than a one night stand. And he doesn't even need an eye-catching costume to get that kind of attention... |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Gryphon (Gryphon_M@hotmail.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 08:16 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://mandrakken.homestead.com/index.html | It would be cool to get laid every now and then... it would be even better to find something more lasting. Unfortunately, I have never found iether.
Bleh... I need to stop talking about this crap. I am getting depressed again |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Gryphon (Gryphon_M@hotmail.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 08:13 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://mandrakken.homestead.com/index.html | I suffer a bit from the shyness myself, I flip flop from "who gives a fuck" and "who would want to talk to me?". I think that one of my greatest weeknesses is that I have no idea how to flirt.
Sometimes I can muster the courage to approach and try to start conversation, but, to date, it has not produced any results. I to much prefer being introduced among friends... unfortunately, Ianthe is not like MJ in the aspect of introductions... she is just not comfortable with that. None of my other friends seem to keen on introductions iether... in this aspect I am just fucking screwed. (or not as the case may be)
Every other year or so is still a step up from my situation. I have never connected in this way... not during the time Ianthe and I have been together (5 years) nor before.
I have actively tried to find out if there is interest... there never is any and after so much of that one gets a little gun shy. FACT: the human psyche can only take so much rejection. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 10:04 PM
(User info | Send a Message) | | Babe, if we ever go out and you're there, again... I will do my best to hook you up. You're a good guy, and all it takes is getting someone's attention. I can't make promises, but know that I will do my best for you.... |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by dydxe^6 (elegy6@hotmail.com) on May 02, 2004 - 08:06 AM
(User info | Send a Message) | | I agree, it's difficult to start conversations with strangers without resotrting to cliches and banal small talk. The worst part is that I see it work for other guys every wednesday night, and it makes me wonder whats wrong with me. Then again I wonder if most people are just incredibly shallow, the egotistical part agrees with the latter statement,but that part rarely manifests itself publicly. I see the insecurity you speak of; the overt concern with having the right clothes, listeneing to the right bands, and dancing the same as every one else is blatantly obvious, and as a result the scene around here has stagnated. I don't even go to the club most nights, after all, its going to be the same people, the D.J is going to play the same songs, and I will more than likely sleep alone that night. Is this a common experience, Or am I alone in this? |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Rogue (Rogue@skew.org)
on Mar 11, 2004 - 01:21 PM
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Heheh, you have a good point. The express busses in Denver/Boulder were what I had in mind though, guess I shoulda been specific. Maybe they could have an ugly bus and a fun bus?
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by gothicmorman (litty_klj@hotmail.com)
on Mar 11, 2004 - 10:38 PM
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well, you could become a morman, they belive in and practice poligamy. as long as both girls your dating are alright with it whos really going to stop you? personally i dont think there is anything wrong with a three way relationship, could go for one myself except i dont think my 'ONE' would be too into that, so im perfectly fine where i am just with him.
just to pose an interesting question - wouldent children raised in a poly, gay, lesbian or any other 'weird' type of relationship grow up to be more open to new and different things in life and even be more accepting of 'non-socially correct' kinda stuff? you know just because they have grow up with this type of relationship... that or they hate being different and become totally rebelious and never talk to their family again...
the ruthless
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Schizo (Aranea@spidersdance.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 02:27 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | Actually, Mormonism no longer condones polygamy. Those who continue to do so are not sanctioned, and in fact, are not officially Mormons. They belong to a branch sect whose name I can't think of now. But the Mormon church denies all ties to polygamous couples.
And that still doesn't allow for a girl who wants more than one guy, or a guy who wants girls and guys. Let's be fair here. We aren't living in the Old Testament anymore. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by callei on Mar 12, 2004 - 05:35 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | | I love you schizo! leave it to you to take that one apart bit by bit and expose all the silliness in it. I am so glad you are on again. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Mar 12, 2004 - 03:09 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com | [Quote]
wouldent children raised in a poly, gay, lesbian or any other 'weird' type of relationship grow up to be more open to new[/Quote]
Only if they were raised to be open. A child (especially a girl) raised by feminazi dykes would still grow up intolerant to men and any other ideologies that their parents were against. Granted, any child can rebel, but as a stanndard "the child follows the parents" rule, the only stereotypically open-minded group in the world are the open-minded people of the world. Just because a child is raised by a poly couple doesn't mean that that couple isn't as close minded about everything else as the next person. It's even possible that that poly couple could preach just as heavily for pro-life policies and anti-gay marriage legislation.
As a catchy buzz line to end this: Remember kids, just because your lifestyle is alternative, doesn't mean you are. |
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Re: Oneness is for Half People
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.com)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 09:03 PM
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"I know it seems like a tragedy to you that you can't find your other half..."
That is where I have a problem. Why is it that without a relationship to a single individual a person is only a "half". I'm not a half. I'm a whole person, dammit, and I don't need anyone to be my "one" because I already am "one". Generally what I'm searching for are my "dozen" those who will add significantly to my own "oneness" rather than taking only "half" and throwing the rest back.
I think the problem that I have with the endless search for that one person, is that it really does tend to discount the person you already are.
I think the reason that so many people think you are a weirdo is because they can't understand how you can be a whole person without the contribution of someone else.
I think the reason that mostly 500 lb couples tend to be poly and exclusive with only other couples is because they think that a single person could suddenly make there wholeness, whole+ and who wants that.
Oh wait, I want that, you want that, any self respecting human being that realizes that they are whole wants that.
I'm secretly laughing at everyone who is only "completed" by one other person. If that's really true they were never very much to begin with.
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Re: Oneness is for Half People
by callei on Mar 13, 2004 - 11:14 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | i am sooo with you on this one. I really wonder where people get the sick idea that thier "soul" was torn in have and some sadistic and crazed being hid the other half somewhere in the other 7 billion people on the planet. I mean come on, if you had half a brain... well no that is a bad analogy. most people do act like they only have half a brain.
but really, thinking that you are ripped in half and that fucking someone will somehow make you whole and complete seems so bizarre to me.
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Re: Oneness is for Half People
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Mar 13, 2004 - 02:01 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/ | This brings up the concept of Brainmates. This is where some people only have half a brain and the other half is hidden somewhere in the other 7 billion people on the planet. Their purpose is to find the other half of their brain so they can be complete.
If they'd spend some of the time looking for their brainmate that they do looking for their soulmate - the world would be a much better place. |
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Tiresias (tiresias43athotmail)
on Mar 15, 2004 - 01:56 PM
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Ha...my first thought when I read Rogue's comment was "If you rode the bus long enough in Columbus, you'd probably see someone having sex sooner or later."
...very glad I don't ride the buses there anymore...
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Re: Spice in the Vanilla Rack
by Caressia (-)
on May 13, 2008 - 01:59 AM
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You just said everything I was afraid to. I think its perfectly normal to want to share relationships, sex and all the what not that goes along with that. I hate lies but if your okay with another person involved, then there is really nothing to lie about because its all out in the open anyway. I think people are just too sensitive about these things, afraid to tell their partners what they REALLY like.
I really didn't realize I felt this way until I brought up having a threesome with my boyfriend. Maybe this could be my first article.
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