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Preach: Manifesto of Singlehood |
Posted by
tallidaho on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 04:17 AM PST
Others choose to couple, to devote themselves to one another in loving, hopefully faithful, and mutually beneficial relationships. I do not. I have too much love, care, passion, and personality to give it all to one person. I love every human being. This love can be and is care, concern, sexuality, listening, advice, observation, spirituality, silence, screaming, everything, and sometimes, when needed, nothing.
My capacity to love is limited only by the other's willingness to receive this love in whatever form it may take. I am, and attempt to be, what is needed to help those whom I interact with grow and develop. I do not lose myself in this, but rather find in myself only a deeper and more passionate willingness to love others.
I see smiling couples and do not gag. I grin, perhaps chuckle, and try to become enveloped in the happiness and beauty they have found in each other. I see unhappy couples and try to help find the problem, the reason for this sadness and then give them the opportunity to feel the love and acceptance that exist in the world.
I am not free from pain. I have had my heart broken. I have broken hearts. I have been a home-wrecker and have been used. I have done things I wish I had not. This does not mean I regret any of my actions. Regret is only the wish to change what cannot be changed. Rather, I take every experience and use it to help myself grow and understand myself and others.
I am not a slut. I am not a whore. My sexuality is a tool and a gift that I choose to give others to help them along their journey. Sex is fun. Sex is also powerful and dangerous. It must be approached with care, caution, and a sense of joyful reverence. True enjoyment comes only when all individuals involved are open to the pleasure within.
I do not need to "find the right one". I do not need to "find myself". I do not need to be set up with your brother, your sister, your uncle, your mother, or your best friend. I do not need to get a good lay. I do not need a shrink. I do not need your sympathy.
Being single is a way I choose to lead my life. It is not a response to a bad experience. It is not because I don't believe I can find happiness. It is, in fact, the contrary. I find pure joy, happiness, pleasure, and spirituality in sharing myself with all those around me.
I choose to be single. I am in love with everyone around me. Others choose to couple. I do not. And I am better for it.
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Manifesto of Singlehood | Login/Create an account | 11 Comments |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood
by Anya on Nov 12, 2003 - 05:03 PM
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The article is very contrary to what others would give as a reason to being single. Due to that, it is a respectable piece.
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood
by callei on Nov 12, 2003 - 08:57 PM
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"I do not need to "find the right one". I do not need to "find myself". I do not need to be set up with your brother, your sister, your uncle, your mother, or your best friend. I do not need to get a good lay. I do not need a shrink. I do not need your sympathy. "
I think that is the best generalized rebuttal to the social pressure i have ever read. You do a great job of showing that your arent lacking something in yourself and trying to make up for it with someone else and arent going to let yourself get into one of those relationships.
There are oodles of people in "relationships" that would do well to read those words and think about why they are with the person they are with.
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Nov 12, 2003 - 09:05 PM (User info | Send a Message) | Thank you, Callei. I've been trying to think of a way to respond to this, and you echoed my thoughts perfectly. The fact that she isn't lacking something in herself, that she needs to make up for with another person... speaks well for her incredible self-image. The fact that she's so giving of herself, without expecting a response in return... She's a role-model to us all... |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by callei on Nov 12, 2003 - 09:08 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | and she has a better chance of having something meaningful WITH someone else, because she will see them as another person, not something from her daydreams, nightmares, or past. |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by callei on Nov 12, 2003 - 09:12 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://http:// | i mean to say that she will have a relationship with someone because of who they are not who she is, wants to be, or wishes she was. It can be about what they share. Im too sleepy to word that better, but i mean that with this sort of outlook, a person can actually have a relationship with other people that is based in reality, shared things, and goodness. |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com) on Nov 12, 2003 - 09:14 PM (User info | Send a Message) | I agree wholeheartedly. She's much more levelheaded than most of us, who still live in fantasyland. She is what all of us should strive to be... a complete human being. |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood
by tallidaho (jadetater@yahoo.com)
on Nov 13, 2003 - 02:36 PM
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Thank you all. I really appreciate your comments and support... this piece has gotten me into a bit of hot water around here-- so it's nice to know that I have support out there :)
I love you all
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by tallidaho (jadetater@yahoo.com) on Nov 13, 2003 - 06:19 PM (User info | Send a Message) http://www.tinytall.com | Also, just as a comment... I don't know if I'm a "complete human being" quite yet... but I am striving for it, as I thinik we all should be :) |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood by daria_4 (-) on Nov 15, 2003 - 04:33 AM (User info | Send a Message) | And by the sounds of your article, it is apparent that you are going about becoming a "complete human being" in the right way... not to say that there is a solid right and wrong way to do so, but I see so many people who look for completion in others, and I have yet to see that bring them "wholeness." I would rather hear that I compliment someone than to hear that I complete him or her.
It's good to know there are still a few people with their heads on straight in the world, not jumping on the bandwagon for everything in life. Good article. Very well articulated. |
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Re: Manifesto of Singlehood
by Melusine (devilwidow@yahoo.com)
on Nov 22, 2003 - 10:19 AM
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http://Oxomo: Queen of Mictlan
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Your view about singlehood has helped me to think about the true meaning of love. I have also decided to be single, but like you said It doesn't mean I can't love people...In fact it's liberating to care about someone without being possessive...I guess that's love.
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