- Cynical Indulgence - (Shmeng is not a Gothic site)Mar 29, 2024 - 05:30 AM  
Welcome to  Shmeng
 Home | Articles | Galleries | Forums | Site Info | Web Links | Reviews | Register 
Articles Section

Eye Candy

Who's Online
Currently no members online:)

You are an anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here
We have 49 guests online !

   User ID:  Pass:        Forgot Password? click here or  Join here
Mistress Manners: No i wont fuck you
Posted by callei on Friday, August 22, 2003 - 12:02 AM PST

Rant
I hate people that wear collars and act all “BDSM” when it is clear that they aren’t, especially the ones that walk up to me and kneel in front of me out of the blue. Get a grip. I didn’t collar you, I am not your wet dream, and, frankly, I have better things to do that sort out the confused and unformed lusts of a newbie that is sooo new that they don’t even know enough to ask first. Just to be really clear here, that is not “flirting” that is being a demanding twit and shows that you have no concern or care about the person that you are attempting to burden with your petty wants and needs.

I hate people that have just found that they get more out of sex when its kinky and want to tell me all about it. Like I care enough to listen, and applaud. I am way more likely to point out where you messed up, left damage (emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual), and why you should shut up and go apologize to your partner. And put the whip down or I will use it on you and you may love me after, but you will hate me during. I can promise you that.

I think it gets to me more when it’s a “goth” person because I expect more from them, like that they have read a book or two in their lives or something.

I LOVE people that ask me “what is it like?” or tell me “ I tried something and wow was it neat! Can I talk to you about it?” or “I am thinking about (insert idea here) a lot and I don’t know what to do about it.” I can work with that. I can be supportive, instructional (giggle), and help them over some of the rough and disorienting bits of changing their own worldview and accepting themselves.

Recently a dear friend of mine called Shade and I her “leather parents” and promised me a mother’s day card. If I ever caught her kneeling to some total stranger, I would kick her.  Not just because she is a top (and I darned good one I am proud to say), but because it would mean that her brain had totally deserted her and she needed someone to knock some sense back into her head.

There is a reason that I am the Mistress of Orgies here people. I know what I am talking about. And you don’t. I don’t mean that in a cruel way, it’s just true for a lot of you. You know what YOU mean, but not what anyone else means and you endanger yourself and others with that ignorance. And that makes me want to kick you too. I know you are smart enough to think it through and read something and ask other people. And yet you don’t.

I am assuming that you, the reader, knows what the social meaning of these words mean and that I don’t have to explain sadism or submission to you. If you don’t know, are unsure, or are only working from your own feelings then I strongly recommend reading a few books, websites, and some erotica. Then talking to people about what you have read so that you can see where your meanings are different than those of your peers and support group and, if you are lucky, your dating pool. Ask me and I can send you a list of link, a reading list, and some great sites, If you are over 18/21 (depending on the laws in your area).




Related links
· More about Rant
· News by callei


Most read story in Rant:
Barely Legal....


Rate article
Average Rating : 4.6
Total ratings : 9

5 star


No i wont fuck you | Login/Create an account | 46 Comments
Threshold
Comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.
Re: No i wont fuck you
by Psychopixi (psyche.at.psychopixi.dot.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 04:02 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://psychopixi.com
How come here in the UK we have to be sixteen to have sex, but 18 to read about it? *sighs* Things will be so much better come october (my birthday). Those sites that say "Click here if you are eighteen" expect you to lie anyway, right?



Re: No i wont fuck you
by MystryssRavynDarque (A1Mandi04@aol.com) on Aug 22, 2003 - 10:11 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://kauai.vibechild.com/~amanda/
Here in the United States, we have to be 18 to do either, except in Hawaii, which is not really a part of the United States (it was stolen by some business men), but that would be something to talk to Devin about, and that is another story.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by ickgirl on Aug 22, 2003 - 10:47 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
Actually, MRD, that isn't entirely true.

the "age of consent" varies by state.

In some states, if you're under 18, as long as there are fewer than "X" number of years between you and your partner, then you're legal.  For example, in some states it's ok for an 18 year old to have sex with a 16 year old because there are only 2 years between them.

...unless things have changed and I haven't been paying attention

-ick


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 23, 2003 - 07:07 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
I *think* you are right for mixed-sex cotius style sex with few "Accessories". As far as i know tho, anything that can count as "sodomy", "violence", or "same-sex" is still against the law until you are at least 18 and in many states, 21.

Ok its not legal in most states at all, except for "educational purposes" or something.


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by feralucce (Iwouldliketokillyou@gofuckyourself.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 07:51 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://feralucce.vibechild.com

*chuckles* once again you frame the thoughts beautifully... I think the real question, at least in my mind, is why these peopel actually are attracted to the lifestyle... I personally think it's because it is a taboo... I believe they'd do it no matter what it was if it were taboo...

Feral




Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 27, 2003 - 08:38 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
I like to think that it is because they are starting to question the role of sex and love and friendship in thier lives and how they want to relate to themselves and others, but i bet its because they think they will get laid and people will think they are cool.
*sigh*


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by daria_4 (-)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 08:26 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
I really liked the way you transitioned from talking about others to addressing the reader at the end--even if you were only using the collective you versus the personal, the use of the word at all made for a very effective bit of reading. I suppose it would be particularly powerful for anyone who should be taking it personally--hope you got through to someone. ;)


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 09:54 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
*Feverishly takes notes for the parts he has left out of Toy Dolls*


Re: No i wont fuck you
by VampCourt (Morbidchic@hotmail.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 10:04 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/vampcourt/index.html?1017202482720
you know something too, Im sick of the people who think because they are all vinyl clad, it automatically means they are all hardcore s&m and bondage freaks. I know a couple people who DONT wear things such as that, they have that lifestyle in thier bedroom. -shakes head- tell em to read a friggen book.



Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 22, 2003 - 11:55 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
I like to hit them with the book, that way you can tell just how much is a so called fashion statement, and how much is real.
and they do squeal....


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by VampCourt (Morbidchic@hotmail.com) on Aug 22, 2003 - 03:55 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/vampcourt/index.html?1017202482720
indeed. i personally would like to throw a lite match on thier head. tho the smell of burning hair is kind of gross. ah the sacrefices we all make. heh.


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by Merry_Widow on Aug 22, 2003 - 10:39 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
And Lo, for the Mistress of Orgies laid out a smackdown, and verily it was a righteous one...
I hate it when you see a little fifteen year old girl leading her pimple laden boyfriend around the mall on the leash. It irritates me to no end. Especially when you're in the bookstore, and they wander their way over to the sex book section, and loadly go through several books, saying they have already tried all of whatever is in there. It's right about then the tic in my right eye starts up.



Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 22, 2003 - 10:48 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
That is about when i go over and tell them how rude and stupid they are being. or start hitting them with the books. or pointing and laughing at them really loudly and saying things about thier so-called sex life.
Im not good with kids....


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Merry_Widow on Aug 22, 2003 - 11:12 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
This is why I want to teach high school kids. It is going to be my duty into scaring the everloving crap out of them with my red pen of doom. I love taking kids that age down a few nothces. In public. In front of all their peers.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by VampCourt (Morbidchic@hotmail.com) on Aug 22, 2003 - 11:05 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.geocities.com/vampcourt/index.html?1017202482720
You know whats bad is when you see adults act like that.

-shudders-

one time i went to a movie with a group of friends and we watched this couple walk with a leash and coller and it was totally for shock factor. I wanted to rip my boot off and bounce it off thier heads.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Arthegarn on Aug 23, 2003 - 01:39 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
Whoa? You're serious or just kidding? You really see those things in the US? Boy, boy, boy...


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by ragabash99 on Dec 10, 2003 - 01:50 AM
(User info | Send a Message)
no I'm sure that Court is serious... I see stupid shit like that all of the time in the wilds of Albuquerque... you see them running around the malls all of the time.. It's so very sad


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 05:02 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://bettie_x.tripod.com/
Thank you thank you thank you for this.  I can't stand it either, and I swear to god if  I see another kid leading their stupid "boyfriend/girlfriend" around the MALL on a leash I'm going to tie them to a bench outside and SHOW them what S&M really is.  Yes, tie them up with the conveniently removable "bondage straps" on their pants, and flog them raw with their $5 Pet Co. leash until they cry for mommy.
You wanna know the really sick thing I saw once?  There was this girl always coming in with her stupid friends or a boyfriend on a leash, but then she came in with her LITTLE SISTER on a leash (who was proably about 10 or 12) and was telling her how she looked like NORMALS and how normals suck and that they'll make a freak out of her yet blah blah blah.  I walked over and unclipped the leash and booted her ass out of my store.  I mean jesus christ, her SISTER.  I feel for that poor child having to grow up looking up to such a retarded diluded douchebag for the rest of her life.  I'd like to give her a taste of domination for about 5 min (that doesn't involve furry plastic handcuffs from Spencer Gifts) and she'd probably never be able to even put a leash on her DOG again, let alone another human.



Re: No i wont fuck you
by Arthegarn on Aug 23, 2003 - 01:53 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
So it wasn't a joke... Well, you know, some teens just have to draw attention to themselves. All of them, actually. When I was a teenager I wore a tie everywhere... and nowadays I don't precisely "meld in the crowd"... These teenies are harmless, O Bettie, by flogging them you are just playing into their hand and giving them the attention they want and not deserve. Ignore them, have mercy on them, and if you feel like flogging someone... Well, it's been a long time since I last mortified my flesh by its sins and I am just about to need it... Just some more sinning before it, to reach the adequate penitence level? ;-)


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolfatvzavenuedotnet)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 07:41 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://Xaoswolf.tripod.com
I was at a club a while back when a rather attractive little thing came up to me and said, "I've got a present for you."

Now, here I am thinking to my self. hmmm.... I wonder what it could me, maybe crack, maybe some kind of sexual favor. Only one way to find out! "And what would that be?" I ask. "Here." she said as she handed me a leash and walked off. I follow the leash and lo and behold, I was suddenly attached to some beast of lovecraftian lore! With a physical geometry that made the mind boggle and a face to inspire madness in all but those with a hefty bonus to their saving throws. A most unwelcomed gift indeed.




Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 23, 2003 - 07:03 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
oooo see that is just what i am talking about! that is so disrespectful of you. Whatever she and her lovers do with each other is of course thier biz, but to drag someone in with no negotiation, no consent, and no informed choice is so "against the rules.".
I personally have never seen it go well.
And what about that poor monster on the end of the leash? How did it feel when it saw the look on your face?
the bit of attactive fluff that pulled a bait and switch on you needs a good spanking! (evil grin). and then someone to force her think about why she has been stupid and thoughtless and lame.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Arthegarn on Aug 23, 2003 - 02:00 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
I HAVE TO GO TO AN AMERICAN GOTH CLUB

Definiltely

With my priest's collar et. al.



[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 27, 2003 - 08:43 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
i am soo not going to make ANY jokes about you coming over "pre-collared". Its hard, but i will restrain myself.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Devin (devin-at-vibechild-dot-com) on Aug 27, 2003 - 09:35 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://devin.vibechild.com/
Restrain yourself?


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 27, 2003 - 10:59 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Im more talented than you think *wink*


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Aug 27, 2003 - 10:09 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
Fraught, fraught, fraught


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by Squire-of-Gothos (Brian0049@hotmail.com)
on Aug 22, 2003 - 09:00 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
I see this display all the time at my local theater every Saturday night. Rocky Horror Night.... This is, aparently, when all the retards and show-offs feel that the enviroment is cool enough for them to do this without hurting their street credit. So the run around with their leashes and spiked collars, talking about how much dirty things they plan on doing during the show etc etc. Utterly sad. I took the time to explain to one group that it was childish, sad, completely pointless, and that Rocky is not the do all tell all dictionary of S&M lore, its not even that great a movie, its not even really about S&M. The replies generally centered around, "What do you mean Rocky isn't cool. Dude you better not be bashing RHPS!" Sigh, Sigh, mother-flogging sigh.

Oh well. What are you going to do. Today, "extreme" sex acts aren't just pleasurable things, they're also things to flaunt so you can look cool and interesting. Bah! Double bah! Stupid fucking kids. I don't pretend to know much about S&M or Domination, but I do know that a leash and a collar doesn't mean shit. Not when its just to look cool. Carrying around a cat-o-nine tails doesn't mean you're a dominatrix, and it sure as shit doesn't mean you know how to use it. I wish, in my heart of hearts, people could just sit down, shut up, and listen every once and a while. I don't know who said it, but, "It is better not to speak and let people think you are ignorant, then to speak, and prove it"

BTW, while we're on the subject of doing reading and learning instead of just acting like some big butch master before you know shit, my girl friend is interested in being a sub, and want me to be her master, and I don't want it to be a bad experience, or to fuck her up, so is their any good reading, (book, internet, etc) I could check out before steaming full ahead. Just thought I'd ask.



Re: No i wont fuck you
by chameleon on Aug 22, 2003 - 09:43 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
This is a response to the Rocky Horror comment made a the beginning of the comment...

I am not a Rocky Horror virgin anymore, lost it around this time last year I think, and I know where you're coming from with the notes about stupid cultists.  It is really sad, and you're right, Rocky Horror is not really a quality movie.  The only reason I go to midnight showings (on Fridays over here, not Saturdays) is to make stupid comments about a weird movie, which no-one has found a logical meaning to.  That'll be my two cents worth for the night...


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Aug 23, 2003 - 05:50 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
There are lots of books (SM 10, Different Loving, Screw the Roses etc) and there are even more websites ( Dominant Views, Sexuality.org, Consent.co.nz etc)
I will drop you a note in email to ask, if you want, some questions that may help the two of you figure out what you want to do.

That said, the last RHPS i went to was a strange mix of fetish, bubble gum, and corsettes. I did notice that there was a large amount of people claiming to be "alternatively sexed". I say claiming because i never went to bed with any of them so I really dont know. I just wish more of them bathed or shaved properly before the show....


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Aug 23, 2003 - 06:37 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
Oops, that should be SM 101.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by daria_4 (-) on Aug 25, 2003 - 02:47 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
My bf and I are reading SM 101. It's my first bit of reading on the subject and I'm not as far into it as I should be by now (bought it a while ago), but I like it thusfar. It's a pretty straightfoward read, and while I can't compare it to other books just yet, I highly suggest it.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 25, 2003 - 03:07 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://

that is THE text book, so to speak, of safe sane and consentual. He has written some other stuff too.
Good luck making it thru the whole thing.



[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Squire-of-Gothos (Brian0049@hotmail.com) on Aug 23, 2003 - 07:58 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://
Thank you. I could go for some email if its no trouble. And I plan on devouring some of the books and sites you mentioned with my girl friend. I'm always a fan of learning.

But I think their is one underlying question here: Why is their no Squire in Toy Dolls? After all the years of faithful Shmeng service, not a single reference, nairy even a name drop? I, sir, am apalled. One would hope such a prolific member such as I would have some positive invovlement. BUT NO! Well I don't want to be in it, so there!

Ah, is fun to vent, no? I don't have to tell you I was kidding, but to be on the safe side, yeah. Anywho, thak you for the help, good luck on Toy Dolls, and I think the Lake House needs a caretaker; tall, skinny fellow, short brown hair, goes by the name of squ......

lol.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Arthegarn on Aug 23, 2003 - 02:05 PM
(User info | Send a Message)
Rocky is cool. Specially after he beat Ivan Drago

:P


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Aug 23, 2003 - 07:12 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Maybe the idea of BDSM just bothers me because I'm horribly prudish.  Do what thou whilst.  In the mean time, anyone want to eat babies with me and Mike Tyson?  Today we're going to try seeing what ethnicity the tiger enjoys eating most.


Re: When walking....
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.com)
on Aug 24, 2003 - 01:06 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.saradevil.com

This is a fun little story so I'll share because your reminded me of much this particular person, from what I understand this is a true story as it was related to me...

It involved this man who was paying a great deal of money for a proffesional Domme, who did all the proffesional Domme things he expected, and then dressed him in a humiliating, small, and obvious leather outfit, put a leash on him, and took him out. Apparently she was going to take him to an S&M club in L.A.

While driving to said club she had to stop to ask directions, as she conviently forgot. So she took him out of the car and tied him to a pole in front of a restraunt and across the street from a park where he was making quite a scene even though he wasn't doing anything. She went in to make a phone call.

After a minute or so the police suddenly pulled up and of course, where amused and slightly peeved and asked him what he was doing there. He explained, I'm sure leaving out some detail, and waited for his Domme to return from the restaruant. As they waited they discussed what they might be able to arrest him for and if he were violating any laws.

When she did emerge she also explained that this was all between consenting adults and etc. and they were allowed to leave.  In the car as they drove away the Domme asked if the police had said anything, to which he replied "they said they didn't think there was anything illegal, except that I might be violating some leash laws."

To which she replied, "Only in L.A."




Re: When walking....
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolfatvzavenuedotnet) on Aug 24, 2003 - 11:24 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://Xaoswolf.tripod.com
I think I would have paid to see that.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: When walking....
by Psychopixi (psyche.at.psychopixi.dot.com) on Aug 25, 2003 - 03:31 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://psychopixi.com
I think the guy probably got it thrown in for free...


[ No anonymous comments ]

Re: No i wont fuck you
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Aug 25, 2003 - 09:19 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Now here's what quirks my eyebrow: Is BDSM a sexual role-market(i.e., cosplay, furries, and other grotesque roleplayers) or is it a sexual psychosomatic market(i.e., interracial, faesces, moon ravers, and other miscreants)?



Re: No i wont fuck you
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com) on Aug 25, 2003 - 11:20 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://www.hotelshade.com
Oh dear. OK Comedian. BDSM (Bondage/Discipline; Dominance/submission;Sadism/Masochism) Is not a market as you so caually put it. And the reference to "grotesque roleplayers", and "miscreants" is falling back on the uninformed closed-minded bigotry that has, throughout history, branded those who are different in any way as "bad". First off, the only categories you named off that even remotely fall into the BDSM scene are roleplayers and perhaps cosplay (Costume play I'm assuming?) the rest are unique fetishes that may be present in members of the scene, but are not a part of the scene in and of themselves.  

BDSM in and of itself is a combination of roles (as opposed to roleplay), psychological interaction, acts, emotions, and quite a bit more. On the surface, there is very little between the interaction of these and any other consensual adult interactions. Roles are defined (Who is going to be on top?), Rules are set (If the condom breaks, stop and get a fresh one) and boundaries are set(I will/won't do X). It's only when you dig deeper that you find out the members of this scene actually do negotiate before hand, they have healthier communication than most WASP couples, they are not afraid to discuss sex or relationships. Many of the members of the BDSM scene are the nicest people you will ever meet, and the coolest as well, even if you never find out about their kinkiness.

The wording of your question looks a lot more like not-so-subtle aggression than an actual curiosity. If you are that angry about the mere existence of peolpe who are living the good life, maybe you should look at why?


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Aug 25, 2003 - 01:56 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Aw shade, you should know I harbor no aggression.  I'm just curious about it, as from what I have seen it's a psychosomatic denial of personhood thing.  All the acts contained within(collars, whips, etc.) carry almost as much cultural stigma as any words I take to bear could.  I mean, is it bad to use the word miscreant(meaning deviant or troubled angsty persona) to describe a person who uses a whip(a toll designed to beat slaves to within an inch of their lives without causing excessive blood loss or internal injury) as a toy for sexual stimulation?

As for good life, I have to wonder about the sntiment behind that phrasiology as well, old chum; how good is any life?  Fraught with comparison hypocrasy is no way to flame a post about the curiousity of motivation behind whatever lavish perversions people harbour within the depths of their filthy, filthy souls. ;)


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Psychopixi (psyche.at.psychopixi.dot.com) on Aug 25, 2003 - 03:37 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://psychopixi.com
Why would you assume that a person involved in BDSM had a troubled angsty persona though? As far as I am aware in BDSM the person on bottom will have more control than the person on top - if they say stop, it means STOP! Play is generally frowned upon if either partner is under the influence of any drugs, or in an emotionally fraught state (such as a troubled angsty person might be). In my opinion, BDSM is just as normal as vanilla, it's just more fun because you have more toys!


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 25, 2003 - 07:30 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
And as we all know, she who dies with the most toys wins.


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Aug 25, 2003 - 11:45 PM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
What motivates a person to enter into a BDSM subculture in the first place though?  A fetish?  A 'Sexual identity'?  A psychological deficiency seems the most natural reason for this- as there is no such thing as an addiction to pain, just limited threshholds people can function normally under. Thus it is a psychological compulsion, by default, that drives people into a roleplay enviroment-- what differentiates BDSm from cosplay or furries? The style?  You're still in costume, or pretending to be something you're not and would take offense to be if accused of it in any real sense of the phrasiology employed by the deviants within.

Anyway.  The fact remains: I don't give a real shit about what people do to get off.  All I care about is schlumping vast categories of people into the psychological profiles they can be pushed into.  Is there anything besides a psychological compulsion for denial of personhood or humiliation on a sociological level that makes people flock to bondage, or is it just their way of standing out against what they perceive as a magazine of gray-plastered sexuality?


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by callei on Aug 26, 2003 - 06:09 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
"What motivates a person to enter into a BDSM subculture in the first place though?  A fetish?  A 'Sexual identity'?  A psychological deficiency..."
Im turning that last one into a question as well for the purposes of answering this post.

What motivates people to enter the BDSM subculture is the same as what motives tehm to join a dog lovers group, a gun club, or the PTA; a sense of community with people who like the same things they do.
What motivates people to try a little BDSM in thier own bedroom is a very different question, partially because of the hazy line between "vanilla" sex and "non vanilla" sex. For example:
missionary possition: gives all the "power and control" to the person on top. the person on the bottom cant just stand up and leave, they are restrained by the other person. How vanilla is that really?
Sensous massage: One person is in doing it, one is receiving it. If the receiver wants that yummy massage to go on, they have to relax, lay back and let the other person have "control".
Oral sex: most often (but not always) this is one person doing to another. one person has the control over the others most delicate bits and is, to some extent (ok if they are any good) "controling" the other person's orgasm or arousal.
Those are three very "normal" sexual situation/acts and they already have elements of power exchange. so what motivates peope to make it more interesting and talk about that power dynamic? the desire to have MORE fun, be more intimate with thier partner, and know themselves better.

Fetishes are a different thing, psychologically speaking, dispite the social usage of the word to mean "non usual sex". A fetish is something that (in many cases) divorces the sex drive from a human source and focuses sexual desire (ability to orgasm) onto a thing. that person is unable to cum with people or themselves, only with that thing whatever it maybe. (yes this is way simplified, im not a shrink and i dont play one on tv)

Sexual Identity can be so many things to so many people that i cant speak about it in a meaningful way. It can be political, social, or sexual. It can be hidden, out, or ignored. It can be something that you care about or soemthing that you dont. But, it doesnt lead you around and make you do things, it is (generally) a declaration of what you already want and do.

A psychological deficiency is the last one here. And this is one that is commonly (tho wrongly) attributed to the so-called BDSM crowd. That idea that ALL people that play this way to any degree are survivors of abuse, have some mental unballance, or are strak raving loony is sort of bizarre when you look at what it really says. If normal is "what most people do" then bonadge is normal (last sex census says that 90% of people try bondage at least once in thier lives), power games are normal (again some 85% KNOWINGLY play cops and robbers, doctor and nurse, Knight and Damsel in Distress etc at least once in thier lives), and costumes are normal (98% of all women over the age of 18 own lingerie, 83% of all men own "sexy" underwear).
So how is it deviant to do what it normal? Because over all the BDSM crowd TALKS about it, thinks about the ramifications of thier acts and wants, and then decided to try it again.  Because they think date rape is wrong and evil, not normal. Because they dont sleep with people that have to get drunk before they can have sex. Because they face thier sex drive and say "hmm what happens when i do this?" not hide from themselves and thier partners what they like.
I am sooo not judging here and saying that BDSM is "better" than "normal" sex. I am saying that thinking about what you really like is the best way to get more of what you like, whatever that maybe.

On a final note... that "romantic" ideal of sex with wine and roses and satin sheets is rather kinky if you think about it. all that costuming, roleplaying, mood setting, toys and accessories, and the "surrender". I mean jeeze, its too k

Read the rest of this comment...


[ No anonymous comments ]


Re: No i wont fuck you
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com) on Aug 26, 2003 - 07:47 AM
(User info | Send a Message) http://http://
Thank you for a concise report on that topic, Callei.  But, unlike others, you know more about the animal drive of the brain, and can justly admit that the advent of the pleasure of the 'sex drive' is merely a survival mechanism, since humans are very ineffectual breeders, and the numerous downfalls of child birth thanks to some of the interesting 'imprintable' affectsof the fetus can create a mass of defectual babies before an actual, viable one is produced.  'Vanilla' sex is merely just an attempt to breed or get ouf ot the way what we concieve of as pleasure; the only difference between a heroin addict and a nymphomaniac is that the junkie usually pays more for the vice.


[ No anonymous comments ]

 Home | Articles | Galleries | Forums | Site Info | Web Links | Reviews | Register 
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, the rest © 2001 by VibeChild.com Add shmeng_syn to your Live Journal Friends List. If you have a website check the webmasters section - You can get this site on your Palm Pilot using This link - By using this website, you are agreeing to abide by our Terms of Use. If you are a bot thinking of spamming members, get your email addresses here
Buy Viagra Without Prescription
Buy Vigra Without Prescription
Buy Viarga Without Prescription
Buy Cialis Without Prescription
Buy Clomid Without Prescription
Buy Levitra Without Prescription
Buy Propecia Without Prescription
Buy Kamagra Without Prescription
Buy Accutane Without Prescription
Buy Zithromax Without Prescription
Buy Amoxil Without Prescription
Buy Zovirax Without Prescription
Buy Deltasone Without Prescription
Buy Topamax Without Prescription
Buy Lexapro Without Prescription
Buy Flomax Without Prescription
Buy Flagyl Without Prescription
Buy Synthroid Without Prescription
Buy Inderal Without Prescription
Buy Tenormin Without Prescription
Buy Keflex Without Prescription
Buy Diflucan Without Prescription
Buy Lasix Without Prescription
Buy Celebrex Without Prescription
Buy Doxycycline Without Prescription
Buy Zocor Without Prescription
Buy Premarin Without Prescription
Buy Celexa Without Prescription
Buy Norvasc Without Prescription
Buy Hydrochlorothiazide Without Prescription
Buy Nexium Without Prescription
Buy Cytotec Without Prescription
Buy Misoprostol Without Prescription
Buy Neurontin Without Prescription
Buy Levaquin Without Prescription
Buy Zyprexa Without Prescription
Buy Astelin Without Prescription
Buy Zetia Without Prescription
Buy Diclofenac Without Prescription
Buy Antabuse Without Prescription
Buy Arimidex Without Prescription
Buy Phenergan Without Prescription
Buy Paxil Without Prescription
Buy Differin Without Prescription
Buy Nizoral Without Prescription
Buy Valtrex Without Prescription
Buy Plan B Without Prescription
Buy Fosamax Without Prescription
Buy Diovan Without Prescription
Buy Betapace Without Prescription
Buy Reglan Without Prescription
Buy Rhinocort Without Prescription
Buy Cozaar Without Prescription
Buy Accupril Without Prescription
Buy Septilin Without Prescription
Buy Zyrtec Without Prescription
Buy Aldactone Without Prescription
Buy Benicar Without Prescription
Buy Flonase Without Prescription
Buy Atacand Without Prescription
Buy Hytrin Without Prescription
Buy Ditropan Without Prescription
Buy Rumalaya Without Prescription
Buy Prinivil Without Prescription
Buy Medrol Without Prescription
Buy Revia Without Prescription
Buy Naltrexone Without Prescription
Buy Parlodel Without Prescription
Buy Atrovent Without Prescription
Buy Aciphex Without Prescription
Buy Zelnorm Without Prescription
Buy Motrin Without Prescription
Buy Avandia Without Prescription
Buy Tetracycline Without Prescription
Buy Epivir Without Prescription
Buy Lamisil Without Prescription
Buy Sinequan Without Prescription
Buy Levlen Without Prescription
Buy Levonorgestrel Without Prescription
Buy Anafranil Without Prescription
Buy Seroquel Without Prescription
Buy Acai Without Prescription
Buy Micardis Without Prescription
Buy Aleve Without Prescription
Buy Claritin Without Prescription
Buy Nimotop Without Prescription
Buy Toprol Without Prescription
Buy Colchicine Without Prescription
Buy Cipro Without Prescription
Buy Tofranil Without Prescription
Buy Zanaflex Without Prescription
Buy Tizanidine Without Prescription
Buy Remeron Without Prescription
Buy Cardura Without Prescription
Buy Femara Without Prescription
Buy Provera Without Prescription
Buy Desyrel Without Prescription
Buy Imitrex Without Prescription
Buy Famvir Without Prescription
Buy Clarinex Without Prescription
Buy Buspar Without Prescription
Buy Lotensin Without Prescription
Buy Exelon Without Prescription
Buy Combivent Without Prescription
Buy Ventolin Without Prescription
Buy Diabecon Without Prescription
Buy Cymbalta Without Prescription
Buy Prilosec Without Prescription
Buy Omeprazole Without Prescription
Buy Flovent Without Prescription
Buy Noroxin Without Prescription
Buy Glucotrol Without Prescription
Buy Plavix Without Prescription
Buy Glucophage Without Prescription
Buy Bactrim Without Prescription
Buy Myambutol Without Prescription
Buy Dostinex Without Prescription
Buy Aricept Without Prescription
Buy Actos Without Prescription
Buy Lukol Without Prescription
Buy Rogaine Without Prescription
Buy Ampicillin Without Prescription
Buy Lamictal Without Prescription
Buy Retin Without Prescription
Buy Lipitor Without Prescription
Buy Chloroquine Without Prescription
Buy Arava Without Prescription
Buy Adalat Without Prescription
Buy Strattera Without Prescription
Buy Cleocin Without Prescription
Buy Relafen Without Prescription
Buy Crestor Without Prescription
Buy Maxalt Without Prescription
Buy Singulair Without Prescription
Buy Allegra Without Prescription
Buy Protonix Without Prescription
Buy Vermox Without Prescription
Buy Estrace Without Prescription
Buy Coumadin Without Prescription
Buy Advair Without Prescription
Buy Diamox Without Prescription
Buy Coreg Without Prescription
Buy Avapro Without Prescription
Buy Leukeran Without Prescription
Buy Prevacid Without Prescription
Buy Requip Without Prescription
Buy Zantac Without Prescription
Buy Erythromycin Without Prescription
Buy Zyvox Without Prescription
Buy Prednisolone Without Prescription
Buy Amaryl Without Prescription
Buy Actonel Without Prescription
Buy Evista Without Prescription
Buy Vantin Without Prescription
Buy Starlix Without Prescription
Buy Luvox Without Prescription
Buy Abilify Without Prescription
Buy Depakote Without Prescription
Buy Lozol Without Prescription
Buy Xenical Without Prescription
Buy Lotrisone Without Prescription
Buy Betnovate Without Prescription
Buy Risperdal Without Prescription
Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription
Buy Wellbutrin Without Prescription
Buy Mobic Without Prescription
Buy Altace Without Prescription
Buy Augmentin Without Prescription
Buy Effexor Without Prescription
Buy Nolvadex Without Prescription
Buy Biaxin Without Prescription
Buy Detrol Without Prescription
Buy Zyban Without Prescription
Buy Elavil Without Prescription
Buy Lioresal Without Prescription
Buy Allopurinol Without Prescription
Buy Lanoxin Without Prescription
Viagra pills canadian
Buy cheap viagra online now
Buy viagra usa
Buy viagra online no prescription
Canada viagra generic
Canadian women viagra
Viagra online without a prescription
Overnight viagra
Cheap viagra usa
Cheap viagra 100mg
Cheap viagra onaline
Viagra 50 mg
Cheap viagra no prescription
Best price viagra
Buy cheap online viagra
Viagra canada
Cheapest prices viagra
Generic viagra online
Viagra pfizer online
Viagra pills
Lowest price viagra
Viagra for sale
Canada no prescription viagra
Buy viagra in usa
Viagra generic
How can i buy viagra online
Buy viagra in canada
Buy viagra no prescription
Canadian viagra online
Overnight canadian viagra
Buy viagra online
Female viagra pills
Discount viagra online
Canadian generic viagra
Generic viagra canada
Cheap canadian viagra
Viagra low price
Viagra canada online pharmacy
Buy viagra online now
Viagra price comparison dosage
How get viagra
Generic viagra overnight
Viagra buy online
Generic viagra price
Viagra how fast does it work
Buy discount viagra
Viagra buy viagra online order viagra
Viagra online
Cost viagra online
Viagra in canada
Viagra online deals
Purchase viagra
Purchase viagra overnight delivery
Viagra for women
Cheap viagra now
Buy viagra
Viagra price
Cost of daily viagra
Viagra brand online
Viagra tablet weight
Viagra buy
Buy viagra on line
Viagra paypal
Viagra no prescriptions
Buy viagra online canada
Viagra online canada
Cheap viagra without a prescription
Buy cheap viagra
Viagra delivered overnight
Buy viagra online usa
Viagra soft tabs online
Buy viagra uk
Cheap viagra pills
Viagra drug
Viagra online no prescription
Generic viagra professional
Order generic viagra
Natural viagra
Buy viagra online wthout prescription
original brand viagra
Buy viagra professional
Low price viagra
Best viagra price
Buy cheap canadian viagra
Next day viagra
What is viagra professional
Viagra from canada
Levitra vs viagra
Buy cheap viagra usa
Viagra lowest price
Generic cialis canada
Cialis generic
Cheap canadian cialis
Cialis 100 mg
Cialis low price
Canadian generic cialis
Cialis pills
Best price cialis
Cialis canada online pharmacy
Cheap cialis usa
Buy cialis 20mg
Buy cialis online now
Cialis price comparison dosage
Canadian women cialis
How get cialis
Generic cialis overnight
Cialis buy online
Generic cialis price
Cialis how fast does it work
Buy discount cialis
Cialis buy cialis online order cialis
Cialis online
Cost cialis online
Cialis in canada
Cialis online deals
Buy cialis online no prescription
Purchase cialis
Purchase cialis overnight delivery
Cialis for women
Cheap cialis now
Discount cialis online
Buy cialis
Cialis 5 mg
Cialis 50 mg
Cialis price
Cost of daily cialis
Cialis brand online
Cialis tablet weight
Cialis buy
Buy cialis on line
Cialis paypal
Cialis no prescriptions
Buy cialis online canada
Cialis online canada
Cheap cialis without a prescription
Buy cheap cialis
Cialis delivered overnight
Buy cialis online usa
Cialis soft tabs online
Buy cialis uk
Cheap cialis pills
cialis drug
Cialis online no prescription
Generic cialis professional
Order generic cialis
Natural cialis
Buy cialis online wthout prescription
Buy cheap online cialis
original brand cialis
Buy cialis professional
Low price cialis
Best cialis price
Buy cheap canadian cialis
Next day cialis
What is cialis professional
Cialis from canada
Levitra vs cialis
Buy cheap cialis usa
cialis lowest price
Buy cialis online
Cialis pills canadian
Buy cheap cialis online now
Buy cialis usa
Canada cialis generic
Cialis online without a prescription
Overnight cialis
Cheap cialis onaline
Cheap cialis no prescription
Cialis canada
Cheapest prices cialis
Generic cialis online
Cialis pfizer online
Lowest price cialis
Cialis for sale
Canada no prescription cialis
Buy cialis in usa
How can i buy cialis online
Buy cialis in canada
Buy cialis no prescription
Canadian cialis online
Overnight canadian cialis
Female cialis pills