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| How To: Blow-job Jedi mind tricks |
Posted by
callei on Monday, December 11, 2006 - 09:43 AM PST
I want to talk about blow jobs, not the “spit or swallow” question or the mechanics of them, because those aspects are covered in other articles and books. I want to talk about why give one. Ok I will talk about those two points, but just a bit. The “spit or swallow” question shouldn’t even come up unless you are fluid bonded with that person. You don’t have to choose if you use a condom, like you all are, being smart people. And the mechanics to giving good head vary from person to person and day to day.
Seeing your lover’s eyes roll back in their head in pleasure is, perhaps, the best reason. But there is also letting them just lay back and enjoy, learning your way around their body and what makes them go “oooo”, and because it can be damned sexy. There is the trust issue (I mean teeth can hurt and egos can get VERY bruised) as well as the d/s power exchange issue. There is also the “that time of the month” issue and the “medical reason” issue (I am using medical reason as a euphemism for things like just has a baby, have a yeast infection, just got a new piercing, and whatever else can means hands, and other things off ).
Men worry about getting blow jobs more than women seem to worry about giving them. Men have issues about sticking their dicks in dangerous places. They have issues about “degrading” someone that they really like. They worry that they will cum to soon or take to long. They have issues about not being in charge, not being the one giving pleasure, and not knowing if they are supposed to pull out or not or how to handle the spit or swallow question as well. Their issues about cum can be everything from “I don’t want to kiss her afterwards and I don’t want to hurt her feelings because I don’t want to kiss her when she might possibly still have cum in her mouth” to “if she spits that mean she doesn’t really like me and that she doesn’t trust me and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore”. Some others I have heard cover such various things as wanting to kiss her after and fearing that she will then think they are homosexual and wanting to just lay there and enjoy the after-glow but feeling obligated to praise the giver and cuddle and generally loose the after-glow.
Some men LOVE to talk about what they like and some HATE it. Some are worried that you will think that they are sluts or are inexperienced if they tell you the truth. All I can say to you guys is “hey we are trying to blow you here, you could be a little honest with us so that we aren’t wasting our time and yours.” A LOT of men, especially younger men or men that haven’t had pushy, experimental lovers, don’t really know what they really like, just what they have had. Some men like all kinds of sensations but are used to one motion to orgasm.
Don’t assume that he wants to cum in your mouth. He may just want the blow-job as foreplay. He may not feel comfortable about it for one of the aforementioned reasons, or some other reason. Don’t assume that he will instantly get hard again and rock your world. Don’t assume he will even stay awake.
Men feel more pressure during intimacy than women do. Let me rephrase that… men worry and fret about the act more than women do in a "black/white right/wrong best/worst" kind of way, but women worry and fret more about other aspects of sex more than men do. It’s a sticky (giggle) point for both sexes, be they gay, straight, or bi.
So what can we, the givers, do to take some of the worry out of blow-jobs? How about using your mouth to stimulate his big brain before you use it on his little head? Be upfront with him about your experience level and your reasons for wanting to go down on him.
“I haven’t done this before and am nervous, but you are so hot and I want to be a hot sexy thing like you”.
“I love to feel a man’s stomach quiver and his hips move. It really gets me hot and bothered”.
“Can I try to get you hard again so that we can do it again"?
“I love you and I want to do something to show it.”
“My best friend just told me about a new trick she tried and I want to see how it works”.
“This one is cherry flavored and the other two are mint. I like the taste of cherry and I think it’s funny to smell like mint.”.
“I am having girl troubles with my plumbing, but I want to still have sex with you right now so let’s get creative.”
“ I want to see you cum.”
Whatever your reasons are, let him know. If he is uncomfortable with your intent, or what you want to give is not what he wants to receive, back off and do something else.
Listen to what he has to say, not just with his words but also with his body.
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| Blow-job Jedi mind tricks | Login/Create an account | 5 Comments |
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Re: Blow-job Jedi mind tricks
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.net)
on Dec 11, 2006 - 10:11 PM
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This is such an odd angle to come at it from (really really really no pun intended). While I do agree with most of your statements I'm disturbed by the fact that this puts most of the responsibility for a good blow job slowly in the hands of the blower (man it just gets worse, i give up on trying to not make sexual innuendos).
It feels like this needs more input on what gets a good blow job going from the blowee perspective. Perhaps a serious on the advanced discussion of head. I don't know.
I probably don't have the best advice to offer on the entire phenomenon I'll admit, but really, aside from the blower being willing and fun, doesn't it take a certain amount of communication from the blowee to really make it all come off okay?
Either way, cheers, callei, very fun read.
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Re: Blow-job Jedi mind tricks
by Psychopixi (psychopixi.at.hotmail.com)
on Dec 12, 2006 - 03:50 AM
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?I haven?t done this before and am nervous, but you are so hot and I want to be a hot sexy thing like you?.
Gawd, if I said that the whole thing'd be off because I'd be creased up laughing!
Good article and a fun read, nonetheless, although I'm more comfortable just having a laugh about any awkward situation like that, because... well firstly you should be able to laugh about it anyway; it's not a life or death, serious kinda situation, and just having a giggle relaxes you and take the pressure off, and secondly I'd just feel even more awkward saying any of those things!
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