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Mistress Manners: GothScouts(tm) |
Posted by
callei on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 04:41 AM PST
Recently a friend told me that they had been hit on by a Goth boy in a Boy Scout uniform. No really, I thought she was fooling too at first. After a good laugh, I got to wondering: what if there was a GothScout ™ association and what would the kids learn? Most importantly, what would their badges and pins look like?
So here is my plan for the Goth Scouts™, a multinational gender-nonspecific association of black-clad geeks, freaks, and pretty kids. (aka, a wet dream wrapped in leather). It’s a plan to help our young men and women learn the ropes (and the whips and chains) of life as a free thinking adult open to the panoply of experiences that life offers.
Oh and den mothers (they will all be called den mothers, no matter if they are an “innie” or and “outie”) must be able to prove that they have had at least one homosexual experience. Oh and a group would be called a cozen, like a coven, but more snuggly.
My GothScouts™ will be mixed gender, mixed orientation groups. After all, in the words of our famous webmaster, or at least to paraphrase badly, “never have sex with a man with no lesbian friends”. I am still not sure if he meant “make sure there is at least 3 people in the bed” or “people are more balanced if they have a wide range of friends and experiences to call on”. Probably some of both.
In that other discriminatory organization there are 7 levels of scout. My first thought was to have 13, but I ran out of names. So here is what I came up with for the levels of scout. And yes, I sure hope you all will help out.
1. Boi: a leatheman term that I plan to reuse here to be the most junior level of scout, for kids that show up to meeting and participate. No uniform necessary.
2. Grrl: for kids that show up and start to wear some part of the uniform on a weekly basis.
3. Gothen: the first level of real scoutdom. Must wear uniform, or some part of it to school at least 2 days a week.
4. Viper: What else should we call 14.8 when they really are 14 years old?
5. Lifer: the designation for someone that has been a Goth scout for 3 years.
6. Guppie: a cute, diminutive of goth urban professional that here means “old enough to get a job”
7. Uber: I had too.
I think camping trips should be optional, but sleep-overs mandatory. And trips to museums, inner city parks, and *sigh* cemeteries.
I think the uniform should include a kilt style skirt for all involved be they male, female, or somewhere in between. Obviously it would have to be black, or mostly black. I am thinking a sedate pinstripe indicating the “level” of scout. I think the uber level ought to have a lime green pinstripe, in memory of me. The goal is to have the uniform be easy to wear, comfortable, and silly looking. I am thinking here fishnet sashes with badges sewn to it, really silly hats, and possibly button up shirts with French cuffs and that priest style collar.
I have oodles of ideas about the things they can do for tasks…. After all, my bathtub could use a good scrub.
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Average Rating : 4.3
Total ratings : 3
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GothScouts(tm) | Login/Create an account | 13 Comments |
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Re: GothScouts(tm)
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Mar 16, 2006 - 05:35 AM
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Badges and Pins:
A circle with a quill pen and piece of parchment: To earn this, one would have to develop a portfolio of bad poetry. This is the first stage in the creative writing bages. One would eventually work up to interesting little short stories and witty observations about life.
A circle with an artist's brush and palette: This is for the art portfolio. There must be at least one representation of a scantily clad person in a fantasy/supernatural setting.
A circle with a camera: One set of cemetary pictures is mandatory.
A circle with an eyeliner pencil: to show that you have practiced enough with this to be able to wear eyeliner gracefully and well.
A circle with a depiction of a large, difficult, leather-bound book on it: to earn this badge, you must read at least five classic books in their original, unabridged form. Without cliff's notes.
A circle with a tombstone: you must have spent a good bit of a day and part of the night in a graveyard. Possibly with a picnic. This is also when you can take your graveyard pictures for your photography badge.
A circle with a musical note: You have listened to, and enjoyed, a wide variety of music, not just the loud, nerve-jangling stuff that irritates your parents. Special bonus points if an enjoyment of classical music develops.
That's all for now, maybe more later. I just woke up.
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Re: GothScouts(tm)
by dead-cell (freaksworth01@netscape.net)
on Mar 16, 2006 - 12:38 PM
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No! You must absolutely have mandatory camping trips on Friday the 13(s).
Ghost stories must be acted out on neighboring scout groups (with out their foreknowledge).
Instead of snipe hunts there would be werewolf hunts, or other horror creature hunts.
Just imagine them going back to school on Monday.
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Re: GothScouts(tm) Frosting?
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.net)
on Mar 16, 2006 - 07:45 PM
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As with any group I think there should be some sort of inductive hazing. Although in this scenario I think it should be called "frosting". Frosting would consist of covering new scouts in frosting and then removal of said frosting by all the members of the troup. Preferablly strawberry frosting. It will be like a rebirth, a renewal, to be covered in pink frosting and then have it licked, eaten, sucked, insert adjective here, off of the new recruit so they can be reborn as a fresh young GothScout.
Also, the pink my lead to perkiness, and goodness knows we could use some more perky goths (ala psychopixi).
Mmmmmmm.....frosting........
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Re: GothScouts(tm)
by Starlight on Mar 17, 2006 - 03:06 AM
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Shiny Boots Badge: A badge with a shiny pair of boots on it. That one is earned when they've mastered the art of lacing, buckling, shining and walking in an expensive pair of boots. However, that alone is not enough to fully earn the badge. They must, also, be witnessed to have attempted to pick up another person (extra points if of the same sex) with the line, "Nice boots; wanna fuck?"
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