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| Illustrations: Security Display Hawaiian |
Posted by
Devin on Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 05:53 AM PST
Dear Sirs,
It has come to my attention that the random searches being performed at boarding gates is not in fact random. Given that the planes I usually fly on hold 210 people, and there are usually 6 people searched for each flight, I should be searched about 2% of the times I fly, or 4% of the round trips. Since September ’01, I have been searched 50% of the times I’ve flown, or 100% of the round trips. After asking a gate agent a few times, he told me that the selections were not random but computer generated.
Given your computers propensity for selecting me for display, I can assume that your computer finds some value in displaying a Hawaiian being searched to the other passengers as they enter the plane. I realize that a Hawaiian does not have as much value as someone of Middle Eastern descent, but clearly I am brown enough to be of some value.
While I have been happy to perform this service free of charge in the past, I regret to inform you that I will begin charging a fee of $50 per performance. I believe my rates are reasonable, and my brown skin will provide an excellent value at a very low risk, even with my lack of Middle Eastern appearance.
I will accept payment in the form of discounted tickets, or by check or money order at the time of search. If payment is not received at this time, I will invoice you for the services you requested, but will charge an interest rate of 7% monthly.
I hope to do business with you in the future,
Devin,
Security Display Hawaiian
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Average Rating : 5.0
Total ratings : 3
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| Security Display Hawaiian | Login/Create an account | 15 Comments |
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| | Comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content. |
Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by Monolycus on Oct 27, 2004 - 08:19 AM
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Ugh. I just returned to the USA after a prolonged absence myself and sweated the "inevitable" security check at US Immigration and customs. In the old days (the only days that I am used to, really), I was invariably singled out for some poking and prodding en route to the gate, even for a domestic flight or when I was only seeing somebody else off. I recall one occasion when a security guard demanded that I surrender an imaginary knife to them since their search yielded nothing. Why? I don't look like your run-of-the-mill upper middle class wage slave. Needless to say, I did not in my wildest imaginings think I would escape this time without some kind of hold up.
I walked right through and got a "welcome back" from the customs official in lieu of the ransacking I had expected.
What happened? What was different this time around? I looked at the line for (white) US citizens walking through and I looked at the unbelievably long and stationary line of people being "spot checked". Not a fair complected one in the lot.
Now I have shaken my head in the past at people who have cried about racial discrimination, thinking that it was largely in their own minds or at least not as profound a problem as they made it out be. I was mistaken. Now that priorities in the USA have changed, I have gone from being one of "them" (free-thinkers and social deviants, mostly) to one of "us" (white people in need of protection from those vile swarthy types) as far as security personnel are concerned. I have no preference about this. I think both situations stink to high heaven and await a day when the land of my birth will come to its collective senses.
~M.
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Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by Ironboots on Oct 27, 2004 - 08:23 AM
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Man... bein' a minority gets you all the business opportunities...
I wonder if security people in Northern Ireland are looking for Irish-resembling people to search?
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Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by IamSquid (undisclosed)
on Oct 27, 2004 - 11:32 AM
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http://www.goodandevilgoround.com
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I have been specificly picked out for an extra search EVERY SINGLE time I have taken an airplane since Sept 11th, 2001 with the exception of the one time I took out my labret, spikes, was wearing glasses instead of contacts, etc.
Going through customs was even worse. I actually got strip-searched in Norway and US customs wasn't too friendly either.
A friend of my sister's is a well-built Hispanic guy with teardrops tattooed under his eyes and has always been searched over with a fine tooth comb every single time he has flown since 9/11 (and alot before that as well).
Of course this isn't random. And this whole frequent flyer thing is even stupider!
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Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by Merry_Widow on Oct 27, 2004 - 12:40 PM
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The only time I didn't get stopped was when I flew home for summer break. I wore a pink shirt that made sure people could tell I was pregnant.
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Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by Kira (mod_complex-at-hotmail.com)
on Oct 28, 2004 - 12:51 AM
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I've had the same problem every single time I've flown since 9/11, both round trip and one way. My checked luggage gets swabbed, my carry on gets searched, they run the paddle over me, etc. Leaving Seattle the woman wanted me to go to a room to take my shirt off because I had a fucking underwire in my bra. I convinced her I was about to miss my flight (I really was) and she let it go. Give me a break.
I should also add, I'm white as a sheet...and when I fly I hide all tattoos, dress nice, etc.
So you're brown, but I must be on a list somewhere?
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Re: Security Display Hawaiian
by Tiresias (tiresias43athotmaildotcom)
on Oct 29, 2004 - 06:36 PM
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My first time flying after 9/11 I was searched 4 times between two flights and clearing customs. On my next trip overseas after that, I was searched four times before boarding the first flight. During the fourth search (right before boarding the plane), they made me undo my pants in the terminal, in front of all the other passengers, and the guy searching me flipped out because of my money belt, which he insisted I wasn't allowed to have. Considering the State Department's travel website advises travelers to use them I thought that was more than a little silly. I also didn't appreciate having the location of my important documents and money revelaed for all to see (I heard some of the passengers talking about it after). By this point, the people who had been repeatedly singled out (there were several of us) were all pretty annoyed.
Truly random searches would probably be much more effective than repeatedly searching the same people. I and two others I spoke to had each been searched repeatedly (I four times, they three times each), so if the powers-that-be had done things properly, they could have searched ten people instead of three. In all fairness though, I was flying with a one-way international ticket, which I'm told is a red flag.
Oddly enough, after a couple of years of being searched at every opportunity on every flight, I now don't get searched at all. Apparently I am now off whatever list I was on, or I no longer set off whatever computerized system they have in place. At least they don't mark the tickets of people to be harassed with an "X" in the corner. I got real used to seeing those but apparently they are no longer in use.
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