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Articles: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell |
Posted by
Schizo on Tuesday, August 24, 2004 - 04:10 AM PST
On Friday the Thirteenth, at 5:00 PM, I got married. Just a handful of friends, the kids, and us at the JP's house, with a small party afterwards. Just about as simple as it gets while still being special. It could have been a little bigger, but last month my car finally died, and getting a replacement ate up all our extra funds, so modesty was the name of the game. That's OK, though, because the less there is happening, the less can go wrong. And the wedding went just right.
So did our miniscule reception. From the yummy barbeque to the spiderweb wedding cake (which of course, ended up duely smeared all over each other's faces), a good time was had by all. Around 8:30, we took off, leaving the kindergoth with our friends to give us some much needed space. Only one thing remained to be done - dropping off my step-kids with their grandmother. This was accomplished around 9:00, and our honeymoon officially began.
You know, I would have thought it would go without saying that we would want to be left alone on our honeymoon, but apparently we should have made a point of mentioning it.
We had one full day alone, with no disturbances. We spent it doing... well, it's none of your damn business what we spent it doing, so there! Suffice it to say, it was fun, low to no budget, and we were happy. That was Saturday.
Along comes Sunday. We had talked earlier about maybe going down to Foxwoods, a casino a couple of hours away, to blow some cash in the slot machines, just for the heck of it. Of course, cash is just what we didn't have, so we raided the change jar, and managed to come up with about $85 dollars in quarters! So we went down to the corner store to get cigarettes, and started to back out of the parking spot to be on our way. Of course, who walks around the building but Michael's ex and their kids. Encounter one, and the only one that I don't blame her for. Of course, we couldn't just drive away from the kids when they are running over to talk to us. So we talked to them for a minute or two, then left. No harm done.
Anyway, we went to Foxwoods, blew the quarters (oh, that elusive 20,000 quarter jackpot!), stopped for munchies, and headed home. I'd say we got back around 11:00 or so, maybe 10. As we walked in the door, one of the first things we noticed was that little light flashing on the answering machine. Sure enough, the ex. Or rather, my six-year-old step-daughter, which amounts to the same thing, since the only thing you can understand out of her mumbled message was the part her mother prompted her towards (we could hear her in the background), begging her Daddy to pick up the phone. We dialed *69 to discover the time of the call. 6:45 PM, less than 48 hours after the beginning of our honeymoon. Needless to say, we were a trifle irritated. But no worry. A few drinks later, and we had forgotten all about it. Big mistake.
Monday. We get up late. We're puttering about the house in our jammies, playing video games and whatnot, when the phone goes ding-a-ling-a-ling. "Hello, heeellllooooooo, hellohellohello, Michael, pick up the phone, pick up the phone, hello, Michael, I need to talk to you, Michael, pick up the phone, OK, talk to you later."
Hooray.
A few minutes later, the phone rings again. This time, it's my step-daughter again. "Daddy, pick up the phone. We're at Grammie's house (less than five minutes away). If you don't pick up the phone, we'll be over in a few minutes."
We hunkered down. We knew what was going on. Less than 36 hours into the honeymoon, and the ex was already trying to angle for free baby-sitting services. We shut and locked the doors, turned off the lights, and pulled the shades, peering out of the cracks aprehensively. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the ex's car drives by, and a few minutes after that, pulls into the driveway. We move away from the window and hold our breaths. She sends the children up to the door, where they bang for five minutes or so, trying the doorknob and yelling for us. Eventually they give up and go away. We feel like jerks, but remind ourselves that it is not our fault that the kids are going through this, but Michael's ex's fault for once again using the kids as pawns in her little power plays. After all, our own daughter is still at the babysitters. If we aren't even seeing our 2-year-old, why would we need to see the 6 and 8 year olds? Surely they can handle a few days without their father?
Just when we start to relax after the near encounter, the ex returns. We turn off the TV, and scuttle for the bedroom, where we again wait with bated breath. We hear Michael's son call out to his mother "Don't leave without me!" More banging, more yelling, more trying of the door. Eventually, they leave again, and we can hear, as the car pulls down the driveway, the gentle sounds of a mother yelling at her son.
We had the rest of the day in relative peace. Whatever peace we could gather up after an encounter like that.
Tuesday. We're in the house, going about our usual stuff. It's early afternoon, and no phone calls yet. Suddenly, we hear the sound of a car door, and footsteps on the walk. Too late to hide. It's the kids again, asking when we're going to take them this week. Well, we hadn't been planning on taking them at all, until maybe the weekend, but it's obvious we will have no peace until we agree, and besides, we still feel awful for hiding on them before. Well, it seems that the ex has a day already picked out; she wants to go to Fitchburg on Thursday, so we can have them for the day. We reluctantly agree. After all, we're picking up Riley this evening, anyway, so it's not like we're even going to be alone anymore. So we enjoy the last few hours of peace until then.
Wednesday. We're driving around town with Riley in the back, doing a couple of necessary errands. We are about to pull in to the corner store, when we see the ex getting gas, so we decide not to. Unfortunately, she sees us. We drive a few more circles around town until she leaves, and then go back. The coast is clear... at least until we are waiting for a break in traffic to pull out of the parking lot. Of course, there she is, pulling up the side street, and turning into the parking lot, obviously expecting us to stay and talk. No, thankyou. We continue on our way. She follows. We take a loop around town. She still follows. We drive for a good half-hour, with her on our tail all the way, turn for turn. She finally gives up, and we drive home the back way. We are both visibly shaking, but we go home, and force ourselves to calm down. We both have a very bad feeling about the idea of having the kids tomorrow, but it's too late now, we already told them we would.
Thursday. We wait for them to show up. No times were given, so it could be any time. Michael delays his shower, so he'll be there when they arrive, but they still don't show up. He gives in and steps into the bathroom and turns on the water. Like clockwork, the ex drives in. I swear, she has a signal light up somewhere that tells her when one of us is in the shower.
She sends the kids up. As I open the door for them, my step-son yells to his mother "You can leave now". I see they are carrying a bag full of clothes and a letter for their father, in their mother's handwriting. I have a sick feeling in my stomach.
Michael gets out of the shower and I hand him the letter. He reads it and hands it to me.
The letter begins "I have packed clothes for (your daughter) just incase (sic). But (your son). He needs to stay w/ you untill he can treat me w/ respect!" It ends "But he is NOT COMING BACK wich me untill he has changed! Sorry!"
I am not kidding.
It takes some time to figure out what we are going to do. We both want the children, but this is ridiculous. This is not about the children, this is about control, and trying to ruin our honeymoon. My step-son's misbehavior is just an excuse. It could have waited.
Of course, this is incredibly difficult to discuss with the children right there. When my step-daughter asks if she is staying over, too, I tell her that I'm not even sure that her brother is. That we never told her mother they could stay over, and that her mother should not tell them this is happening without asking us first. She seems to understand.
Finally, we come to the conclusion that we need to find out our rights in the matter. So I call the police for advice. I talk to an officer about the situation. About the harassment all week long, and now the letter and the kids. He says he will talk to the other officers, and call me back.
About half an hour later, we hear a car pull in, and there is a knock on the door. We open the door, and there are Michael's ex's sister and her boyfriend. Apparently, instead of getting back to me, the police pulled the ex over, and told her she needed to pick up the kids. So she called her sister to do it for her. They are livid, and immediately start swearing at us, and telling us how horrible we are for not accepting the kids. They take the kids, and we make sure to give them a big hug before they go. And then, after they are gone, we start to wonder if we should have given them up. But what else could we have done without subjecting them to some huge, blown-up fight?
I call the police back after this. Unfortunately, there is a fire in town, and they are tied up. It takes them a good hour or two to get back to me. I found that nothing the ex has done is strictly illegal. I could go to court and request a restraining order, but that's at the discretion of the court. The issue with the children is a civil issue, and needs to be handled at the Department of Human Services.
So, this morning, Friday morning, I am going to call the Department of Human Services. I am going to try to get an appointment to request third-party hand-off for visitation. And if the ex shows up at my door, or bothers me in any way, I will take the steps to get a restraining order. I think, after this episode, considering the police are now aware of the situation, that any further harassment would easily get me the restraint I need. Hopefully, this will usher in a whole new era of separation from this very unbalanced woman.
What a wonderful honeymoon.
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Average Rating : 4.5
Total ratings : 2
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Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell | Login/Create an account | 15 Comments |
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by Moinlen_Drigenu (-)
on Aug 24, 2004 - 04:20 AM
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Damn...thats got to really blow.. I would be really unhappy to say the least if that happened to me. I wish you all the best with it.
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by Arthegarn on Aug 24, 2004 - 07:16 AM
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Damn... Really sorry about that, Schizo. Damn woman.
Now surely there must be some sort of written agreement to Michael's visiting rights and duties, or if there was no agreement at least a court decision. If the kids spend too much time with you I am sure there is a basis for a child support reduction. Perhaps you should document all that to be used as later evidence... Hit her in the purse, there's where it hurts the most.
But damn woman...
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by Andree on Aug 24, 2004 - 10:03 AM
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Has this woman changed drastically over the last few years? She begs the question, Why did Michael stick around long enough to have two children with this woman?
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by feralucce (feralucce@wayoutonthecorner.com)
on Aug 24, 2004 - 11:35 PM
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you make me admire you in every instance... In this story... you have demonstrated more patience for this kind of behavior than I have ever been able to summon in my entire life... That... impresses me... I wish your honeymoon had gone better...
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by Schizo (Aranea@Spidersdance.com)
on Aug 26, 2004 - 02:29 PM
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Damn. It never ends. Not the ex this time, but my parents. Why must I continually be trying to protect my children from lunatics?
My mom called yesterday, and in the midst of the conversation, in fucking PASSING, happened to mention that Dad is no longer TAKING HIS PSYCHOTIC MEDICATION! Not only that, but he was not taking it when they were up here a month or so ago, when they had Riley for a couple days!
My dad, when not duly medicated, shoots imaginary people and coats the windows with tin foil to block the microwaves the neighbors are shooting at us. He yells and swears and even slaps people around when they don't agree with him that people are out to get us. Mom says that now he says that the thunderstorms are manipulated, and he refuses to go to church, because he suddenly thinks the fellow church-members are his enemies.
Mom says it's not like before. She says he does the dishes, and says thankyou a lot, and he's puttering around in the woods and interacting with wild animals like he used to. That she thinks he is being so nice to her because he's afraid that his sneaky enemies will get him if they catch him being mean to her again. She says that it's actually less stressful, because she doesn't have to keep after him to take the pills. (He is also refusing his blood-pressure medication, and cancelling doctor's appointments.)
I don't care how calm he's being. She should have told me that he was off his meds BEFORE babysitting Riley, not after! I DO NOT TRUST him to not flip out. Just because he hasn't yet, doesn't mean he won't. I personally think that he still considers Mom "on his side", but that could end up just being a fading memory of his medicated days. Who knows when his psychosis will prompt him to see her as the enemy, too?
And even if this weren't a possibility, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD because it is MY job and responsibility to decide what is safe for my daughter, not hers! After all, her decisions for me when I was a child left me living in fear for 12 years! One would think it would be basic - a mother should be informed when her child is being cared for a person with a history of violence when off meds, who is not currently taking his medication!
I was too stunned by the news to know what to say to her yesterday, but you better believe next time she calls, I will have some choice words to tell her. I will NOT allow Riley to be around Dad when he is unmedicated. I don't even want to see him. And no more unsupervised visits, period. If I can't trust her to tell me something like that, how can I trust her that she won't withold other vital information?
I feel bad for Dad - it's not his fault he's insane. He has a choice between being completely off his rocker, or taking meds with nasty side effects. But that's beside the point. The point is, he has a condition that could adversely affect Riley. If the condition were a contagious disease, and the danger was her catching it, I would feel bad for him, but she would be kept away. The same applies now.
But I do not feel bad for Mom. She sat on her tail and let me experience the horrors I did as a child, and now she's doing the same to Riley. If she sees less of her grandchild, she is only getting what she deserves.
So now I'm wondering - what psycho am I going to have to fend off next?
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Re: Schizo's Wedding and the Honeymoon from Hell
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.com)
on Aug 26, 2004 - 07:15 PM
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The amount of patience you have had with this woman still boggles my mind. And the fact that you did not go out and kill her during your honeymoon clearly makes a distinction between you, and myself, or say bettiex, who probably would have chopped off her head, and stuck a note in it that said, honeymoon, fuck off.
I do feel for those kids though. Her psychotic behavoir and use of them as pawns in her games reminds me of when my parents use to threaten us (about 6-8) with foster families. That shit stings for a long time.
The best you can hope for is the help of some law people (Arth), and even more patience. Your particular human sore gets a lot of forgiveness, maybe someday when she's old and nasty (read 30) she will be able to look back and appreciate all you've done.
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