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| Preach: Fuck off |
Posted by
callei on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 04:06 AM PST
I had the strangest sensation reading Shmeng today. I realized that it is the source of the most shmeng in my day-to-day life. I realized that it had become the "them" to my personal "us". When I first started coming here, it was just a test and a bulletin board to bitch about failing that test. I was the sort of thing you went back to, say once a week, to see if there was any new ranting twits and to tease them. Then some of us started commenting on other people's comments and *poof* a very small community was formed, a very small group of "us". The cult was born.
The New website came into being. I became stand-in editor. We got flooded with new people, most of which we treated the same. We teased them until they went away or said something interesting. Then we teased them some more. I spent more time on shmeng and more effort on the articles. I started telling people why their articles were not going up instead of just dumping them. I became the default editor.
The site changed again. Suddenly the unwanted weren't just going away, they were now outnumbering the people that had made this site cool. My life got hectic and I stopped paying as much attention to each post but kept up with the articles, the letters to potential authors, and helping people work on their submissions, college essays, school homework, and so forth.
Then it changed again. Now I can barley find comments that don't make me feel like I need a shower. I only see a few comments that are posted by people I know and care about and most of those are telling people to behave or else. I can barely face the slush pile because I KNOW its full of more stuff I don't want to read by people that don't get it and wont get it no matter what I say to them. Moreover, I find I no longer know what to say. I cant help but feel that they are now "right" through sheer mass of numbers and that I am wrong, a strangely dualistic idea for me to have. I wonder what happened that has shifted me from the "us" to the "them" and why. I'm the sort of person that wonders about things like that.
I wonder at Bettie's ability to keep saying the same things over and over every (almost) 2 months to some new pinhead about Satanism. I wonder if she just cut and pastes it with a few alterations each time. I think I had known her for, well more than a year, before I heard that she was a Satanist. Now, I get to read about it every few months as she tries again to make the point that a) the media is there to make money and b) Satanists don’t believe in the Christian Devil. I marvel at her strength of will that lets her keep fighting against the "them" that keep posting these things.
Arth hasnt posted more than once or twice in the past few months. I wonder if that means that he too is feeling the threat to this little haven of "us".
Ick went from babysitting the forums to keep the peace and to try to get people to talk, to refusing to come to the site anymore.
Dev is hiding behind computer scripts as his weapon of choice.
I have stopped writing, or at least submitting what I write.
Meranda barely comments at all where she used to be one of the most talkative people here.
Feral is reduced to occasional outbursts.
Mono doesnt even bother to comment on things, not with the depth that he used to.
Our self-proclaimed kings of the forums are down to an occasional catty remark or update on thier lives. I could go on, but its just depressing.
I don’t know how I feel about being the "them" here; is it freeing and liberating, depressing and demoralizing, or just par for the course. All things change and I have seen many changes at shmeng. Maybe this is for the best for the most people, maybe not, I'm sure that time will tell eventually. It is just strange to be the hated "them" in a place I helped make.
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Average Rating : 4.2
Total ratings : 5
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| Fuck off | Login/Create an account | 55 Comments |
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Re: Fuck off
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 05:57 AM
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http://www.hotelshade.com
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Wow, of all the "this site is changing and it's for the worst articles we've had, I think this one is the most eloquesnt and really pegs the problems to the bone. What's going on here people? Are the faqs and articles about what the site stands for that hard to find? I know Callei is pretty clear about the kind of articles that we want, usually on a weekly basis with some of you. Or is it that the older (time in the site wise, not age wise) members just haven;t been keeping up the presence? It is sad when these things happen, seriously sad and I keeop hoping we will change back to the good old days, or come through this fire to a new and happier resurection, but it keeps not happening.
What the hell is happening?
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Re: Fuck off
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 07:57 AM
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I remember the old days fondly. Back then, things weren't taken too seriously and people were just having fun with it. We were a small group and we got very close. It was like a bunch of people at a continuous party in Devin's house. We were respectful of the place, after all, it wasn't "ours", and we were guests. then more people showed up. Some of them were also respectful of the house they were visiting, and gained our respect and were included in the party activities. Others weren't quite as respectful, and we told them flat out that they weren't welcome at this particular party. Most of them left. Other people came in, quietly stood in the corner and watched the other people partying. We pretty much left them alone, even when once in a while, they'd speak up a bit from their corners. They were ignored. Then a whole bunch of people showed up, acting very obnoxious, thinking that they owned the house, and proceeded to trash it. Poor Devin's been trying to keep his house clean ever since, because these people were squatters and just would not go away, and they attracted other squatters. Some of the people sitting in the corners were encouraged by this display, and started breaking the furniture too. Things started to be not quite as much fun. It became a loud, noisy party, not the quiet, intelligent soiree it had started out as. The people who had been talking and exchanging ideas in a thoughtful manner drifted off to the corners to watch the carnage with shock in their eyes. Devin tried to clean the house, with the help of Callei and Ickgirl and others. The squatters still think it's their house, though, and they don't want their mess making to be curtailed. They think the people who are trying to set Devin's house right are being unfair and not letting them do what they want to do... but it is NOT THEIR HOUSE! There are so many squatters that it's hard to see who are the ones who want to do things in the spirit of the original party, the ones who do want intelligent conversation and good friendships to be formed. Some of them stood out and made names for themselves, Britva comes to mind. Those people are few and far between, and I think that most of those kinds of people peek in the door, see the adolescent wild party and mess and leave just as quickly. So , while we are still attracting some of the independent, intelligent, interesting people out there, I'm afraid we're also losing a good many of them. No one wants to visit a messy house.
I'm not sure how to fix this. I'm not sure how to say who's a squatter and who's just shy and easily led by the squatters to trash the house. I'm all about fairness, but when it comes down to it, people really haven't been fair to Devin or respectful of his property. I don't want to drive away people who are potentially intelligent and interesting, but I don't want to keep the brawling miscreants around who refuse to help keep this house clean.
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- Re: Fuck off by MystryssRavynDarque on Mar 12, 2004 - 09:45 AM
Re: Fuck off
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 08:16 AM
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Oh, and I haven't been commenting on things because I've been feeling very ineloquent and tongue-tied lately. I've started many posts and deleted them halfway through. I'm having trouble getting my thoughts together in a cohesive manner.
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Re: Fuck off
by MystryssRavynDarque (A1Mandi04@aol.com)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 09:44 AM
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http://kauai.vibechild.com/~amanda/
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Just this morning I was going over these same things in my mind. How much the site has changed since I have been a member, and I have not been here as long as most people. When I first came the site kicked ass, and in parts it still does. I feel like this is a part of my life, a different home, a better home than the one I live in. Or at least I did until recently when all of the icky people started showing up. I am not going to type any names out because that would just be mean of me and I generally am not mean to anyone, but if I point you out and say "Fuck you get the hell out of my house" you better know that I am pissed off and I am ready to take action against you. Even in my every day life I don't tend to point out the icky people and trounce on them, but if I must I will. You people are ruining my sanctuary, our sanctuary, our FUCKING HOME. So if you kindly will before I point you out by name, clean up your act or leave, kapu! I'm tired of it. I want my happy home back. This is the one haven where we are supposed to be able to come and rant about the shmeng in our worlds without creating any or flinging any at the other members of the family. Be nice, please.
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from the outside looking in.
by redTwiceOver (-)
on Mar 12, 2004 - 11:17 AM
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I was one of those on the opposite side of the looking glass until recently. Living in a small
town, I'm thrown into this cookie-cutter reality, where intelligence seems to follow a set of
rules. The incredible wisdom and insight beaming from all of your articles is a reminder
that society is not fucked-- someone actually "gets it," however you want to interpret that.
There's an obvious sense of community in this place And despite the rants, raves,
schoolwork and ubergoths, I appreciate you leaving this community as an open book. It
gives the inconspicuous shadows like myself a chance to change from one of "them" to,
well, maybe another one who "gets it."
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Re: Fuck off
by Anya on Mar 12, 2004 - 02:49 PM
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http://kirashi.envy.nu
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I know that I have been guilty of being a noisy idiot a several times, but when I realize it I try to apologise and correct myself. Whenever I come across wrong, I try to humble down and clarify things, figuring that it's the mature thing to do.
On this site, I enjoy a lot of the debates that go on...even if no one agrees with each other (isn't that the fun of the debates?). Of course, you also have those who will take things too personal and cause problems over them, but otherwise, there's still some intelligence here. Just sometimes there's the "it's the bad things you remember" thought flowing in my head.
I've probably not been here long, but I do not want to see this place trashed by anymore twits. If there is anything I can do, please tell me.
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From Monolycus, For What It's Worth
by Anonymous-Coward on Mar 13, 2004 - 01:36 AM
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Yes, I have kind of stopped commenting for the most part. Even before I turned my life upside down chasing solutions that never seem to pan out, I became very frustrated and depressed. I had so many things that I wanted to share and explore with people whose opinions I could respect, but I never seemed to really be able to get the kind of open and honest discourse I was looking for. I began to be less and less inclined to be vulnerable and expose my genuine thoughts and feelings... until finally I found myself incapable of writing anything apart from hateful rants or caustic commentaries.
I am not blaming anyone for anything, but I will cite the specific moments when I began to involuntarily shut down. The biggest disappointment to me was the "book club". Everyone talked a good game about wanting to do it, and I was excited enough about it to make time to read things and try to initiate some REAL discussion, but it became obvious very quickly that what people wanted was all talk and no conversation. I was the oddball with a different set of expectations, so I felt like an ass and backed away.
After that, I was censured in the forums for having differing opinions about things. I type very slowly, and it takes me a very, very long time (upwards of 45 minutes on some occasions) to leave a decent comment, and this investment of time seemed less and less worthwhile when I found that not only was I incapable of getting anyone to understand what I was actually saying, but the identical circular diatribes kept going on and on whether I had contributed to them or not. I felt unwanted and superfluous. I felt angry. I yelled. I cried. What I stopped doing, however, was to invest myself in typing.
I have checked the site nearly every day since I became a member... almost pathologically. I have seen "moderator battles", I have seen favoritism, I have seen cliques, I have seen good advice, I have seen bad advice, I have seen fire and I have seen rain. Although "teasing" has always been part and parcel of the content here (at least as long as I have been here), the general tone has gotten more and more below-the-belt and less and less amusing. The roasts were a fine idea, and I liked what people were doing there, but I didn't feel close enough to anyone to participate very much. I finally broke down and threw caution to the wind and jumped in... immediately before they died out. As usual. Happenstance, but it is a happenstance that always seems to happen where I am concerned.
I no longer feel as impish as I used to, although I am aware that it hasn't read that way. I recently wrote a comment under the polls... it was entirely hateful and I fully expected to be flamed over it, but everyone thought that it was a good natured joke. It wasn't. I was homocidally angry about my life, my job, and the world when I wrote that and it had no deeper meaning apart from me lashing out. I was frankly astounded that everyone interpreted it the way they did. I think that might be the bottom line about my reticence to participate anymore... I am convinced that people will "read" whatever they want to into whatever I have to say anyway, so the only potential outcome I can see from my becoming more active than I have been lately is that I will feel more alienated and will only piss more people off or hurt their feelings. And I really don't want that. I am, as always
~the Monolycus.
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- Re: From Monolycus, For What It's Worth by Monolycus on Mar 13, 2004 - 01:39 AM
- Re: From Monolycus, For What It's Worth by callei on Mar 13, 2004 - 02:03 PM
- Re: From Monolycus, For What It's Worth by feralucce on Mar 13, 2004 - 02:13 PM
- Re: From Monolycus, For What It's Worth by Starlight on Mar 14, 2004 - 12:58 AM
- Re: From Monolycus, For What It's Worth by Anya on Mar 14, 2004 - 06:32 PM
Re: Fuck off
by Schizo (Aranea@spidersdance.com)
on Mar 13, 2004 - 02:42 PM
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Damn it, you're right! I can only imagine how terrible it must be for you, with all your editing responsibilities. It's bad enough for the rest of us.
Shmeng used to be a few intelligent people, with a bunch of assholes coming and going, mostly through the test, to make fun of.
Then came the era of the forum kings, as you've mentioned. Who here remembers the delightful nonsense concocted by the likes of Ironboots, Dolorosa, and IAmSquid?
Now Shmeng resembles a jungle, and it's an effort to wade through pages and pages of nothingness, of intelligent people repeating themselves to dolts who don't even listen, and reams of people who so ALMOST make it that you can't bear to tell them that they are almost completely featureless.
I remember when there were flamers and flamees.
Yet I still love Shmeng. In many ways, I need Shmeng. Where else can I find the intelligence, beauty (both physical and otherwise) and wisdom I do here? I just wish I didn't have to wade through so much to find it.
Perhaps we need to do as they did in Toy Dolls, and build a secret internet "castle" apart from the public world of Shmeng. Secretly invite those who pass the real Shmeng test, and let no one else have the address. The favored few can still visit Shmeng to their hearts content, but when the ignorant masses tire them, they can slip away to the sheltered haven.
And to escape the curse of favoritism, let Almighty Devin choose who is welcome in his blessed haven of mercy and chocolate! After all, this is his world.
And let the yumminess ensue!
Or maybe that's just wishful thinking...
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Re: Fuck off
by Arthegarn on Mar 17, 2004 - 10:17 AM
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I'm not posting anything because I have a damned LOT of work to do, AND I am getting married. I'll try to improve. Really I will. I miss you all.
By the way, I have changed my MSN account.
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Re: Fuck off
by Comedian (eccentrically_long@yahoo.com)
on Mar 19, 2004 - 10:44 AM
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http://http://www.com.sex
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I came on this site back when I met my sister for the first time in years in Long Beach. Back then I just sat around letting EverQuest babysit my selfish needs and starving myself for weeks at a time. I noticed she was posting semi-regularly on one site and I asked what site it was. I got the back story, joined, and started lurking around the forums making the odd post. Then I started submitting some of my horrid, unreadable art literature. And for a time it was crap.
About the time we hit New Orleans it was starting to heat up. During the peak times you could sit on Shmeng for a few hours at a time seriously lurking - hitting that little refresh button up in the corner of the screen with the reliable knowledge that someone else had posted a response. The tinge of community and civilization brinked on the edge of the sensoral horizons.
Probably at that point things started to explode. Originally, Callei wasn't an editor. It was Dev and Ick who posted the stuff, which was fine by me. They had the ability to go slap one another around - invaluable when it comes to having multiple editors for the same drek-spew-pipe that does consist a website. Then they added Callei... back.. god, I can't remember, but I think it was late late late 2001. Three years later and the site has exploded. I can't keep track of all the people. The last new person to really distinctly set in my mind was Phalkon13(or whatever incomprehensible yet trite numeral chain followed after his nombre de criminale), and that was solely because all he seemed to do was lurk around posting on every girl's picture that went up on this site.
Just like any mode of government, the original modus operandi becomes dulled down the further from the point of origination you get. We defined Shmeng back in the day because it was a small community of not-exactly-goths, people who ascribed to nominally the same beliefs and jaded cynicism that marks a youthfully slanderous perspective. No we cannot define shmeng - not even all of the people who join share the trait that we defined the site as, they join because the whole of the parts - all the variances therein - define the whole. Voila.
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Whiskey tango baby.
by Dolorosa (SixOfSwords@IU.zzn.com)
on Apr 12, 2004 - 01:24 AM
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Hmm...I missed this article, guess I've been away long enough. Perhaps a period of personal introspection is in order.
I know I've done my share of dirtying up the place, damn certain I have...no excuses for it either. Hopefully I'll be able to stop spewin' the tripe...can't have me fallin' in with the masses.
And ick's gone? holy shit...
I liked talking to her.
This DOES suck...
Bogus...totally fucking bogus.
I think it's time to do some serious boot-outs. Just cut out whats causing problems. Sure, maybe thats ethically fucked up somewhere, but who cares?
I remember when I was fucked up, seriously fucked up and hurt, I came here and found people who made life just a bit easier for me, made things a little clearer. I agree it isn't like that anymore.
I say cut them out, burn off the cysts. If I'm one of them, let me know...I'll step out, this place has done too much for me to trash it.
Maybe the place needs a sheriff, if only for a bit.
Don't let a good thing die like this.
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Re: Fuck off
by AloneSoul on Apr 16, 2004 - 04:02 PM
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I stopped coming here because I felt that I wasn’t contributing to the community any...- that and some “post parachutists” were just repeating themselves over and over again with request to explain “what is this”, “what do you think of ‘X’” or “why do you do that?”
I realize that my belligerent ramblings were not constructive or that educated at all. This fruition has taken me quiet sometime (along with a lot of maturing) to grasp.
For my juvenile-ality I apologize sincerely.
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Re: Fuck off
by IamSquid (undisclosed)
on Apr 16, 2004 - 06:46 PM
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http://www.goodandevilgoround.com
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Jesus Christ, how did I miss this (I'm such a fucking scatter-brain but give mee a break, there's a hole in the middle of my brain).
Callei I'm not making any exceuses for myself. I know I'm an annoying little shit and that occasionally the manner in which I'm annoying is mistaken for entertaining (only not so much lately). I have contemplated leaving the site but at the same time I feel like I owe it to the friends I've made here to try to save how this site once was.
Maybe I've been trying a bit too hard.
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Re: Fuck off
by Domkitten (saradevil@saradevil.com)
on Apr 27, 2004 - 07:38 AM
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http://www.saradevil.com
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I've actually been thinking about this for a bit, and it really reminds me a lot of teaching. The thing with teaching is no matter how long you are in a specific place, kids change. And as they change, suddenly everything that used to be gold, is now as crappy as a three dollar bill.
I think that the problem is not with what you (the pantheon, the teachers) are doing but with the "kids" (read new members of any age). The pantheon has very few radical personality changes or developments, whereas the "kids" change very rapidly. Frequently when not getting their own way "kids" leave, attention whore, or spout their brand of wisdom of the moment that only they are enlightened enough to have discovered. And in all that time, "you" don't change at all, "you" were a whole person coming in at the beginning, but the "kids" are frequently and forever changing, and often unadaptable. Eventually they either swim, or more frequently sink and slink out of existence leaving only a messy room and clutter behind them.
The pantheon, the "you" on this site does not change, so much as get a little busier, and soon, you find yourself overrun with "kids" feeling more like a babysitter and less like a "teacher". The pantheon should be respected because they built this "school" but kids always know everything and can be impossible to reason with.
I'd be dishonest if I said I wasn't a "kid" although I find that I might be swimming a bit better now than I did when I first arrived. I don't think the problem is in "you" or shmeng, I think it lies particularly in the ever changing nature of youth, which would certainly explain the dissatisfaction, and even ennui that frequently replaces a true love of what shmeng should have represented, or should still represent. All the FAQ's in the world will not change that fact that "kids will be kids".
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