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| Articles: White Lightning |
Posted by
Arthegarn on Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 04:11 AM PST
I guess those of you who have read my posts have an idea of me. Arthegarn is this Catholic Spanish guy who speaks a very good English, has a sucking love life, works as a lawyer, teaches at an University and is always rambling about the finest points of morality. I Guess you think I don't do drugs...
Well, you would almost be right. I don't do drugs. I don't do medicines unless forcibly prescribed. I don't even do aspirins, I do shiatsu when I have a hedache.
Just this friday I was MSNing to Schizo about how almost everyone in Spain does pot. We are just 14 km (way less than 10 miles) from Morocco so cannabis is both good, cheap and easy to come by. We are also the Madre Patria to Spanish Americans so we enjoy the best and cheapest cocaine. All my life I have heard praises about Spain's cocaine. I never thought of it and actually found it disgusting, I don't like people who do drugs (sorry, I guess). Buying that crap is only financing the world's greatest killing and suffering-causing machine, far beyond paying USA's taxes no matter what demagogy might argue. So I'm just not doing it. Health set aside, religion set aside, buying that is becoming an accesory to evil. It's inmoral so I never have and I never will do it.
But then again...
There is this goth disco in Madrid. There is this manager who does this really good cocaine, even for Spain's standards, like it was water. There is this really good and highly respected friend of mine who goes into the toilet right after this manager exists and finds he has dropped a couple of grames. There is Arthegarn's 12 pints of beer. There is this fascinating, heated political debate. It is 07:00.
So I had it. I really didn't need it to go on but I was DAMNED CURIOUS about it. After all I am almost 30, damnit, and it's not like I was going to become an adict or something.
That stuff is fucking dangerous.
I wanted to really flavor the experience so I was really self conscious. I checked my heart rate to feel it rising, I was morbly delighted about my nostril becoming unsensitive, I think I could even feel my temperature rise. But I was totally unprepared for the "mental alertness" thing. It was 07:30 and I know I have never been so brilliant in my life. The heated debate soon ended after I came up with some utterly undebatable arguments (my friend said I ought to write a paper on it). I could break everything down to a formula. I won't tell you how did the night (morning) end but let's say I fulfilled the most common fantasy in a man's crotch. I am extremely shy, but it was just like I saw where were the buttons I had to press to get what I wanted. I was so self-assured... It was the Matrix kind of thing, the world just went so slow around me I had a plenty of time to think about what to do or what to say... and I dared to
I really would have it again. And again. I really wish I could live my life in that state. I was fast, brilliant, sure, alert, I could even find ways around my dearest moral constraints. I want more. And it's not the party-and-sex thing. Actually it ¡s much more tempting for my job. I am a good lawyer but with that I know I would just eat Arthur Andersen.
I won't of course, luckily I am still Arthegarn. But if I weren't, if I were younger, if I were not such a damned grownup, not so self conscious, I would do it again. And again. I would most likely become an adict, I would fool myself into believing I am not, that it is just some "help" from outside that "I deserve from time to time". That thing is really cool, really good, and really dangerous just because of it. My, if I ever become a parent I will really be afraid about my kids ever doing it.
It would be so easy to give in to it...
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| White Lightning | Login/Create an account | 10 Comments |
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Re: White Lightning
by gdlke on Jan 23, 2003 - 07:13 AM
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Ooof... thanks for the description of your experience. It lets me know that no matter the mental stress imposed by my first year (law school that is), if I attempt to get an edge I will ultimately become a slave.
I think that your expression of desire to do it again said more about the danger than any physical addiction threat could have.
Gods that is scary, to want something, but to know that you have to sell yourself forever in order to have it.
Mental soundtrack: Metallica "Master of Puppets", Rosetta Stone "Adrenaline", Type-O-Negative "White Slavery".
Godlike
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Re: White Lightning
by IamSquid (undisclosedgettheaddressfrommeepersonally)
on Jan 23, 2003 - 12:01 PM
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Okay, look. First of all I don't agree with yor statement that buying drugs is neccissarily supporting any kind of evil. The vast majority of of the marijuana, mushrooms, glass, E, acid, and K in the US originate from within the US and thus are not supporting cartells. It is however a despicable form of capitalism but at least we don't go dropping bombs on people over it as though it was oil.
Anyway, here's what's up with cocaine: Sure yor heart's pounding yor stomache feels all squishy and yor teeth are numb this time but make it into any kind of a habit and yoo won't feel like that when yor on coke, yoo'll feel normal which is going to feel alot better than the craving that comes when yor not on it.
I'm sure this time yoo had that dentist-fresh feeling for a half hour well it's going to last 10 minutes maximum if yoo get hooked. So yoo do another couple rails and are good for another 10 minutes! Fun, huh? My cokie friends used to say the craving was the best part of the addiction, in between they used to contemplate suicide and all they wanted was to do it again.
Oh yeah, and if yoo make coke a habit yoo can forget abou the sex aspect to the party-and-sex thing. Erection will become a chore and not an easy one.
Seriously man, it's not cool. Don't get mee wrong, I've been clean 2 1/2 years and I don't regret any of my drug experiences, they were experiences I needed to have. But coke is an expensive and not very rewarding habit.
I wish yoo the best.
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Re: White Lightning
by Geist (tattooedslacker@yahoo.com)
on Jan 24, 2003 - 12:23 AM
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Kinda screwed up. Most people don't belive me when I tell them the only drugs I've ever used are alchohol, caffiene, and nicotine. Hell, I don't even like taking medicine.... Its great to just be naturally screwed up, I don't need any more help.
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