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| Articles: Communion with Violence |
Posted by
Dolorosa on Tuesday, March 26, 2002 - 12:05 PM PST
Looking at the responses and words of this much beloved group of people, I have come to find...or at least believe that the vast majority of us are extremely nonviolent...almost pacifistic people. Sure, we can respond to our daily dose of shmeng with a sharp witty retort (amusing AND effective) or even crush someone's self esteem with but a simple withering glance. But sometimes...every so often, thats just not enough. The question I pose is this...what does it take to illicit violence from intelligent, rational people like us.
Myself, I don't exactly fall into the category of rational, and my intelligence is kind of warped...so I might fall towards violent end a bit easier. But what does it take for the rest of the Shmengers?
Myself...quite recently, succumbed to an outbreak of irrational white-hot reactivism. I was doing my thing on the nearby bar street...proceeding to have a good time, get drunk and pass-out with some reasonably attractive (and extremely fun) grrl I know. All was good with the world. I just happened to be a bit gothed-out...fishnets, safety pins, a couple tastefully placed symbols and counterculture icons. I was definitely standing out. Maybe thats what drew the trouble in...and if it did, then I embrace it, as long as it comes directly to me. Two military boys came up and decided to get cute...They come up, and start out on the wrong foot with the oft familiar cat-calls "Freak" "Devil-worshippers" "Fags"...you name it, these guys we're playing with every caveman insult in the book. Big freaking deal...I shot back, as did my grrl, and the rest of my pack...we caught their insults, revamped them, upgraded their effectiveness and used them with much more efficiency... We hurt their poor little feelings. So these boys do what every neanderthal does when they feel threatened... they become violent. A simple, effective animalistic response to something you don't like. Arada and Anemone help me for not understanding this, but instead of hitting the most vocal and belligerent of the group (Me of course) they decide to hit my grrl...and not with their hands, but with a pool stick. She went down rather quickly, the pool stick shattering into so many wooden shards...in that moment I reacted, kind of impulsively. I didn't know that she had been given a nifty laceration over her left front temporal region, nor did I know she had been rendered permanently blind in her left eye, due to a sudden impact related loss of her aqueous humours... If I had, I'd probably be in the brig right now instead of waiting for the MPs to come a question me.
I reacted to my friends pain, and inflicted as much as I possibly could on those two. I've been military myself for awhile... raised on the streets. I may be only one-thirty nine weight wise, but I'm faster than hell and I teach the knife combat class on okinawa. I had two spiderco. flip out blades, serrated, about four inches long. It was over relatively quickly. Both of those boys are alive, but in the hospital. One with a nice line across his forehead, and up his inner thigh... the other one with a piercing laceration to both armpits (bleeds well, heals slow). In the span of maybe thirty seconds I had drawn blood, and eliminated the threat to me and my friends... I would have gone farther, I probably would have gone for the end all be all if my friends hadn't literally dragged me off into the nearby alley and forcibly cooled me off, before taking my grrl to the hospital. After I had regained my senses, I realized what a true and absolute monster I had become. Not something I take very lightly, and to this moment it still makes me kind of queasy. That night ended with my grrl being admitted to the hospital, luckily I work there so I can take care of her... It makes things a lot easier.
But seriously, I'm not a homicidal maniac, I don't even get angry that often...I prefer to laugh, love and bring along everyone for the fun. But now I know what it is that can trigger a sudden and violent reaction from me... as easygoing as I am, once a true and personal friend of mine is hurt, I just kind of blank out.
But what does it take for the rest of us to snap? Do any of us really just curl up and just wish it all away? Can you stand to watch someone you love be brutalized...and if you can't, if you defend them...does that make it right or wrong? Screwed up question I know...but all I've really seen lately is how much violence sucks, and how horrible it is...and yeah, I agree to a certain extent, BUT...we, as human beings, have that capability for a reason, otherwise it wouldn't be there...it's not just a meaningless evil. It's there, for a reason, so we might as well deal with it...
*huff huff* Alright...so there...
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| Communion with Violence | Login/Create an account | 25 Comments |
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Shade (Shade@Gothcult.com)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 12:46 PM
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Wow, I hope it all comes out as a self defense thing in the trial. s for what pushes me to the edge, I'm about the same way, if the hurl words, I hurl them back, If they throw a blow at me, I sit on them and grab their balls. I too only weigh in at that 135-140 ramge, but I learned some interesting throws in high school (Varsity wrestling) and some more interesing moves on the street. If they go for someone I consider me and mine I go for the jugular. It hasn't gone beyond the verbal assault range in ages, but I still remember one situation that proved to me tat it doesn't matter who the one doing the assauting is. I was outside a local Safeway and three little (13ish) skate rats were yelling at a fourth, he was dressed in blck and they were calling him fag and such. I was sad to see it, but left it alone thinking he'd have to get used to it someday and I din't know the cercumstances anyway. But just as I was walking past one of the antagonists raised his fist and rushed the little guy who was pretty much curled in on himself by then. I grabbed the raised fist as the guy went by, lifted him off his feet and slammed him into a wall. I spent the next ten minuted with him dangling by first his fist and then the front of his shirt while I lectured he and his friends on tolerance. The little guy who had been geting picked on was sitting up straighter and the three bullies took off runnin and apologizing when I let them go. I wasn't even aware I was doing it until I had the kid dangling in mid air and was launching into my lecture...So violence to me and mine is waht makes me twitch
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Meranda_Jade (Meranda@mymind.com)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 12:49 PM
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I think any time a situation escalates to such violence, you have no choice but to defend yourself and your loved ones... I think any of us would have done the same. I don't think it makes you a brute, if anything, you are a hero. Besides, guys who hit girls don't deserve to be let off easy. I'm about the most pacifistic person I know, but if say, my kids were endangered, I'd go for the other person's life without any reservations, regardless of the consequence. I hope your friend gets better, and I hope you didn't get into trouble for defending her... you're a good guy...
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Re: Communion with Violence
by callei (plyn@plynlymon.com)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 01:18 PM
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What does it take to make me try to kill someone? a threat to my life or saftey, or the life and saftey of someone weaker than the bully, especially when they are doing it to make everyone around hurt, not just the person that they are threatening. for example hate crimes make me see red. But i am also lazy, so the term 'minimal necessary force' comes to mind.
IF you had not stopped them, would they have gone on to do more damage to you, the others with you, and the bar that you were in? Yes. They would have used the fact that she was down to kick her in the head, the gut and the kidneys. They almost always do. I know i have seen it enough times to think so at least.
Just because you are effective and aimed well doesnt change the fact that you acted to stop a serious bad thing from getting worse.
For me violence is my last resort, after running away and even taking a punch or two. I come in about 5'3" and well under 100 pounds, so dont look like much of a threat and mostly i can talk my way out of it, or run away if i need too. and cracked ribs heal.
But when i cant, when someone blocks my escape path or attacks a child or someone even less able to defend themselves than I, I go for blood. lots of blood and things that will scar. I tend to aim for dislocations and gouged out pieces of flesh. knees are easy, if you kick right, and its not that hard to grab a hand full of a pot belly and tear. This all tends to distract them, alot.
I never carry a blade anymore, i get into too much trouble when i know that i can do that kind of easy damage.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by jadedraven (smithsm@alfredstate.edu)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 07:09 PM
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I have never had to result to violence in any situation, I have always been able to diffuse it with words, or by just walking away. I will always be of the mind that violence doesn't solve anything, but there are occasions where, even I will admit that it is nessicary. I don't get the cioent feelings of wanting to physically hurt some one very often, but when I do, it is usually the result of someone being cruel to animals, or to children, or someone who can't stand up for themselves. You could say that bullies in any form make me hot enough to want to resort to ripping their fucking spines out, instead of just withering them with my words. :-)
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Re: Communion with Violence
by darclight (an_impression_of_sound@yahoo.com)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 09:21 PM
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i am usually about as laid back as anyone you will meet. i adapt well to situations and can get along with most anybody.
my social philosophy is pretty much as follows: if you are a loved one (i.e. friend, family member, etc) nothing on the planet comes before you. i will do whatever is in my power to see you safe and happy.
that said, i applaud you dolorosa in your actions. i too strive for peace and love in what i do. if anyone fucks with those who i love i will not hesitate to destroy them. those jerks deserved nothing less than what you did to them, and i'm afraid i may not have been able to stop myself from slitting their throats were i in your situation.
a while ago at a bar in town around here, a guy stood up for a female bar tender. three red-neck rejects were insulting her, molesting her, whatnot, and this one guy verbally stood up against them. the three then left, or seemingly so. later, when the one guy walked out of the bar, the three jumped him and proceeded to kick the shit out of him. they had an aluminum baseball bat to help out, just in case they already didn't have a great enough physical advantage. they broke every bone in the guy's face and did a number on the rest of his body. he now has permanent brain damage, and it is amazing he is still alive.
my only question is wtf??? the people who commit such acts of sensless violence are complete WASTES OF SPACE. they deserve everything they have coming to them when they finally encounter someone to stand up against them. there are six billion people on this earth. we can do without such complete fuckups...it's not going to hurt the labor pool that's for sure. i guess i take the hard line. i fight back, and if that means the person i'm fighting ends up dead, then they end up dead. i'm a relatively small guy, i'm a hopeless romantic, and i abhor violence, but sometimes the only way to stop violence is with violence.
i hope everything works out well for you and your friend. you were in the right in my opinion.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Joar (-)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 10:26 PM
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I weep for you and your grrl... And it provokes me to no end that people can be so STUPID as those two army guys.
And I would very likely act as you did. Just that I don't carry anything that can be used as weapons and I've never been in a fight that spilled blood. Still... I'm fairly tall and weigh a little over average. Suppose that can be an advantage in a "fight".
I wish the best for you and your grrl... Hope neither of you have to do this again, ever.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by VladII (vladII@seznam.cz)
on Mar 26, 2002 - 11:07 PM
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well , the violence. i am trying to be nonviollent person. but i am not pacifist. i decided , that the best defense is a attack. i do not mean that you have to be the first who starts the battle but to be better prepared than attacker and look more dangerous than attackers. i like guns. so i take a gun (completely legal-i am sport combat shooter so everything is legal), some knife , long western coat from smith and wesson and i must say that never happend something to me as to you . the world is cruel and we must defend ourselves. not to start the battle but to win the battle.( sorry if this sounds cruel but that is my opinion)
so i think you did the right thing.
Vlad II
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Re: Communion with Violence
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Mar 27, 2002 - 12:22 AM
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my goodness, that is absolutely horrible.. :(
I guess I've been lucky....my huge mouth and verbal karate have seen me through sticky and very dangerous situations. I've been blessed by a look that incinerates (I'm working on that *foom*) and though I've been eye to eye with some dumb thug countless times, it's never come to blows. I can't understand why, though I'm grateful. Usually once you show a sign of weakness is when they come after you. And I'm good at faking bravery even when my heart is in my sinuses at the time.
The closest thing I've been in to a bar brawl is when michael and I were at cloud 9 (AWFUL place *yuck* but the only available without a cover on a saturday night *shrug*) and some oldish bully of a man came over and started shit with him...it was like out of a clint eastwood movie "you're in my seat" (though, might I add that there was a whole ROW of open barstools, and this guy was playing pool on the opposite side of the BAR)
I let michael handle it, and he did marvelously well as always. The guy came back over and over
"I don't know if you're trying to be an asshole or what"..."Well, I'm not the one being an asshole, I'm having a beer with my lovely wife and something seems to be bothering YOU, and it's starting to bother ME"
He kept coming back, then with friends...he was talking how he was going to "bump" him (ie: hillbilly auburn slang for "pound"). He dropped a heavy hand to his shoulder and said "look here, SON" and I went bugshit. I pushed him back out of my way, got into his face and just cut loose...I mean REALLY cut loose...told him to get his old ass out of MY fucking bar or he was going to be taking his centrum silver up the wrong end. Told him nobody touches my husband but me. He stepped back and said, ALL OF A SUDDEN willing to negotiate "You need to calm down young lady, and if you're looking for trouble I could pass some your way you know"
Uh huh you old burnt out hick, pass it my way..show me how a REAL man fights a girl...I'm half his size I told him, and I'd have you eating your own liver out of an IV bag.
The strange thing is I was fine until he put his hand on michael. Then I just got MAD. He was looking to be on the wrong end of a bootfucking if he hadn't stopped.
What provokes me to anger: (OTHER than burnt out old jackasses that've had too many drinks)
People who pick on michael
People who THREATEN michael or any family member or friend
People who pick on people that can't fight back.
People who hurt animals.
People who hurt the elderly (ESPECIALLY this one)
Child molesters
Rapists
People who ruin good childhoods
Pathetic leeches of people that leave a path of ruin wherever they go
I don't pretend to be intelligent, but I'm no pacifist, and I've got an embarassingly short fuse that is easily lit. I'll use words as far as they'll get me...and I'll take it further if I have to at the drop of a hat. I don't welcome it, but I won't run. I'm a friggin dwarf compared to the general populace...about c's size...an inch shorter and a couple pounds more *pout*.
But dynamite comes in explosive little packages, huh? I love cliche's...
I'd love to not have violence, but it's not realistic...and it's dangerous to think that you don't need to be prepared for it or that it won't happen to you.
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Getting violent and losing control
by Arthegarn on Mar 27, 2002 - 02:25 AM
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The only thing that can make me violent is the need to protect others. I am myself non-violent to Gandhi extremes. I believe violence only generates violence, and so I would rather be beaten to death than raise a hand against another human. I believe that is the correct thing because that is what Jesus did, leading by example. But that is my personal view of things. I can get violent when protecting others. There is a reason, but I don’t know how to explain it without eternizing this comment. I’ll try. Please add “I think”, “it is my opinion that” or “I believe” to all following categorical asserts
God created the universe with a plan. Actions and thoughts which second that plan are “good”. Acts and thoughts that go against it are “evil”. Now, not all humans have the same idea about which God’s plan is. Some by lack of freedom, some by lack of knowledge, some by lack of interest, almost every human has hir own opinion of the concepts of good and evil. In the end every one will be judged against the real concepts of good and evil, the interest displayed in approaching them, and the loyalty shown to one’s own, honestly-believed in concepts of good and evil.
By all this I mean that it is MY understanding that it is according to God’s plan that I shun violence at the risk of my own life. MY own life not others’. The path I have traveled has driven me here, but others’ paths might have not. I don’t have the right to put other’s life at risk by my own intuition of God’s plan. When I see one of my sisters being beaten on the ground I just know that’s not right ad that it must stop. Perhaps that woman is exactly like me and would rather die than use violence (or have violence be used on her behalf) but do I have the right to make that assumption? What if I am mistaken? Moreover, what if my view of God’s plan is mistaken? Should the life of an innocent be taken because of my proud inaction? Is that God’s plan? It might be, I don’t know, but what I know is that it is against God’s plan that she is being beaten, so trying to correct that situation is good. Using violence? Perhaps, it’s a matter of causing the least harm to God’s plan, and premature death is a grave harm.
These situations usually end with me taking the place of the Lamb, drawing the evil doer’s attention from their victim and being beaten in hir place. But if I have to fight to defend others I do. I don’t lose my temper, I am always in control, but I do. I can also picture situations where my instincts and hormones would take control over me just as it happened to you, my friend, and unfortunately the instantaneous need for revenge for a loved one could be one of them.
So there is the answer: I would willingly become violent to defend others from injustice, and I might lose control when violence involved one of my loved ones.
As a side note, it’s curious that the only time Jesus gets violent, and he does so to the point of losing control, is in the Temple when he tries to defend the sanctity of His Father’s Home (when it is clear if the Father would have wanted to use violence to defend such, he could have). I think he learns something at that moment because then, when Peter gets violent when defending Jesus from the crowd in Getsemani, Jesus tells him to stand down for he wants no violence used to protect him. And he then asks him if he has understood nothing and tells him to stick to fishing. What of Him? Didn’t He acted in the same way just some days before? I think it was then when He really understood that was not His path to follow. Jesus also followed a path of enlightenment
I pray for you and your grrl.
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Now the lawyer speaks
by Arthegarn on Mar 27, 2002 - 02:25 AM
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Now the lawyer speaks
If I had to defend your case, I’d present it as a temporal mind block. When you saw your girl down (and you KNEW the extent and consequences of the wounds, if you follow me), something within you snapped that made you drew blade (since you did that it can hardly be considered self-defense) to stop that injustice. Concepts of good and evil blurred in your mind, all you knew was that they were dangerous, armed people, and had to be stopped. The idea of this is proving to the court that you were not Dolorosa at the moment, but someone else who came out at the sign of brutal violence and injustice to innocents in the person of a much beloved one. Thus, blaming and punishing Dolorosa for the actions of that guy would be wrong, since you, in your senses, would never draw blade unless it was drawn by the other before. And the proof of that is you didn’t do it before It might seem whimsical, but it is jurudically perfect. There are other ways, of course (Self-Defense, State of Need, et cetera) and with some lawyer’s magic they could even be interwoven with this line.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Xaoswolf (Xaoswolf@hotmail.com)
on Mar 27, 2002 - 10:09 AM
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While I love a clean good fight amongst friends, I don't go for blood without reason. If you mess with my friends, you will deal with me, it's that simple. Even if you are only using words on my friends, I'll be there to get my $.02 in.
I may not look that tough, but, at something around 6'3" and 170lbs, I can still do some damage. Add that to the fact that I fight like a cornered orangutang with the devil himself chewing on it's right teste, and an incredibly high tolerance for pain, and you get a real good show when push comes to shove.
Sure you may break or dislocate something important on me, but you will have a real hard time trying to explain the missing big toe and all the teeth marks on your face to your family...
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Alugarde (SoulCiphyr@aol.com)
on Mar 27, 2002 - 05:17 PM
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Well generally I don't go beyond words, although I was recently lashed out at a friend who (along with one other friend) was ganging up on me at the time. The main thing (ie most frequent, not most important) thing that causes me to get physically violent is people not taking me seriously, as my actions in years past have led to no one taking me seriously, and thus I've become a bit sensitized to that, and when I get frustated/pissed enough my mind sort of blurs and it seems to be the only way to get them to understand I'm not joking. Not something I'm proud of, but its there. I haven't really had to, so I can't say for sure, but other reasons that I could see myself being physically violent include defending my girlfriend, friends, and those who cannot defend themselves (and by this I mean anyone who can even remotely be described so, ie animals, elderly, children, women, etc), people who commit grossly immoral acts, self defense, and I don't really know what else.
On a more unrelated note, this is a good example of what I've been talking about in my contagious shmeng post in the forums. I am unusually violent, then my friend is unusually violent (although thats easily explainable by the fact that he was the one I was being violent towards), then I read about Dolorosa's violence, then while rumaging through things I find a news article from before I joined about some assholes being violent towards Arthegarn (sorry to hear that, Arthegarn), and so things continue....
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Testify!
by Dolorosa on Mar 27, 2002 - 06:37 PM
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Alright, heres a revamp of my current situation. My grrl's still in...but she's doing a lot better, swelling's gone down...and I hate to admit it, but she looks really cute in an eye patch...like a pirate or somethin'. I joke with her that I'm gonna' get her a bright yellow smiley face glass eye so she can look like that evil guy from Last Action Hero. We laugh and all...but still, you know how it is. As for the two losers I sent downstairs from her room in the hospital. One of them was moved to ICU today...apparently that cut I gave him up his inner thigh got a little too close to the femoral artery, and the docs wanna' keep a close eye on him. The really good news is that no one's got a positive ID on the guy who attacked them, apparently he was wearing a lot of makeup, had solid white eyes (my contacts yay!) stood a little over six feet tall and was built like a linebacker (their statements). Out of perverse curiosity I went downstairs and actually talked to one of them...asked him what this guy looked like, joked with him about "freaks" basically became a shoulder for him to cry on about the whole thing...he really must have been totally drunk, he doesn't have a fucking clue. In a few days they're getting a medevac to Hawaii, Trippler Hospital...and I doubt I'll ever se them again...unless I end up getting sent to Levinworth. Both are going to the brig, long time...one for aggravated assault or something like hat, and the other for being an associate (I'm not to familiar with law...or military law for that matter.)
But it seems I've slipped pretty much throuh this one...
In any case...tongiht I will be praying my thanks to any God that is fucking listening.
Doesn't look like I'll be making an cout appearances any time soon...*whew*
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Riggy (ArcheryGirl@juno.com)
on Mar 31, 2002 - 09:57 AM
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First of all, i'm so sorry about your friend. I feel so bad for her. I hope all goes well. And i must say... i actually congratualate you for standing up for her.
As to the "what makes you flip" question; it's much the same thing. If anyone starts getting in my family members' way, then i get in their way. I've only been in one physical fight, and that was when some shit-head on the playground was bothering my sister. He was being shitty to everyone there. Then he threw enough sand in my little sister's eyes to make her have to sit down. She threw sand at him, just on his head (we were kinda young, OKAY?), and he was all "DON'T throw sand at me!". Then i threw some at him. He then stopped picking on the boy he was near. He turned and glared at me from under his sun glasses, and then came towards me. I was kinda in my 'oh shit' defense-mode. He came and shoved me. (This was a boy who was maybe a year younger than me, but strong enough to flip the boys MY age and older off of a nearby balance beam). So i did what i thought i should: shoved back. He came towards me again, and grabbed my shoulders and started to try to pull me down (or something like that, went pretty fast). So i tackled him. He started bitching me out, so i just yelled "And what about my SISTER?!?!". He shut up and looked like he might start to cry. He kept fighting back, and i pulled up my arm to punch him in the face... that's when all of the other kiddies dragged me kicking and yelling off of him. Apparently my mommy had looked out, seen what was happening, and told everyone to come inside. I was mad. That bastard had ripped my sweater.
Another time, i was at a shooting competition playing tackle football with my friends. There was this bastard there who would not shut up about how dumb, weak, and un-talented girls were. (Sexist little shit). I'll make it short and just explain that he ended up practically strangling my sister trying to pull her to the ground, to which she just shoved him up. Then, she ended up getting kicked by him in the throat. By this time, i was mad. I stayed calm, however, and just asked him if he had just kicked her. He went into the men's room. So i asked my sister to block the door. She did, and i went THROUGH the conjoined girl's room and into the men's. Me and my sister then cornered him in a shower (hey, use what ya got). We then did kind of a little "good cop/bad cop" thing... we bitched him out so bad. My sister was screaming at him, i was just asking him if he would apologize or if i would be forced to do something to him. He apologized. And i mean for EVERYTHING. He was shaking. Then i was like "Okay! Thanks, man. That was good of you. You can go now!". I gave him a little high-five and a hand-shake and sent him out the door.
We went out after him to see our cousin on the ground laughing, and everyone else literally red in the face laughing. The sexist bastard guy walked away looking embarrased and near tears. But everyone agreed he deserved it. It's then that my friend Blair said that i could take down some 10-foot guy if he buggeed my sister... and there that he told my dad that he could make millions if he put me and my sister in tag-team wrestling.
Wow, this is long. I guess i just should have said it in a shorter version. But yeah... what i'm trying to get at is: I will be violent if it means standing up for my family or friends.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by Schizo on Mar 31, 2002 - 12:29 PM
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I really don't know where my limits are when it comes to violence. I'm definitely not a pacifist (went to a Mennonite school for 3 years and nearly puked!), yet at the same time I have a long fuse, and I'd rather fight with my own words (or the words of whatever asshole thinks they want a piece of me.)
Really, the only time I've been in a situation even approaching violence (at least since my brother progressed beyond the stage of delighting in pushing all my emotional buttons!) was confronting the psycho-slut for the first time.
I was talking to my B.F. on the phone, and she kept interrupting and causing trouble, and eventually she just pulled the wire right out of the phone. She'd been making both of us as miserable as she possibly could for some time, and I just saw red. I left a couple of cutting messages on her answering machine, hopped in my car, and drove over to their house.
When I got there, she came out and tried to hit me (I guess my messages ticked her off!) but my B.F. got in the way and so she barely touched me. So she stood there trying to insult me and make me leave.
All I did was stand there and smile. Only made a couple of comments, but just let the rest of it float by like it was just some baby babbling nonsense. I didn't even think she was worth arguing with. She wasn't interested in logic or reason, just in making me miserable and intimidating me, so I decided not to oblige her. Eventually she gave up and went back inside and let me talk to my B.F. alone.
But if confronted with real violence? I don't know what I would do. I always think that the person with self-control has a vast advantage over the one who can't keep themselves in hand. But if it came right down to self-defence or defence of someone incapable of handling it themselves, I think I might step in.
But I've never been in a situation like that, so that's all conjecture.
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Re: Communion with Violence
by kat_vamp (-)
on Mar 31, 2002 - 05:34 PM
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I hope everything works out for you and your grrl, Dolerosa. You both have my prayers.
I do not consider myself non-violent. I have an A.A. in getting violent, and a PhD in rage (including hatred, verbal assault, and all the other happy little things that most people do not agree is good.) But I am just human. I can blame all my stuff on a childhood, or parents, or whatever (I grew up on the streets too) but the fact is that I blow out at times. I blow out when I am attacked. I blow out when I am cornered. I blow out when someone I care for is attacked or cornered. I also do my fair share of hiding in my room, covering my head, and wishing it all away. But I never say I am not violent. I am simply human, and don't down myself for the stupid things I do...they are just lessons to not repeat. So don't hurt yourself for your reaction when that happened, Dolerosa...it was both Human and Heroic. I repeat...my prayers are with both of you.
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