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Lemmings on Parade: I feel... like one of them |
Posted by
feralucce on Wednesday, August 22, 2001 - 09:57 AM PST
I want you all to know this... this is also sent to a young woman... someone I wronged... I hope she understands...
This is an interesting story... last week... wendesday... I ran into this very attractive professional type who was eying my ink... (for those of you who dunno - I have over $7,000 of tattoo work)... the expression on her face... was unreadable...
My response to being stared at.. by one of our own... is less than pleasant... I said something... pissy, snotty, degrading... and outright mean... and she just... looked shocked, ordered her food and walked away...
Now... fast forward... Tuesday night... last night... I went out to goth night... and saw my friends... wearing my favorite mesh shirt. (shows off my tattoos really well.) and there is a touch on my shoulder... as someone says, "that is some truly impressive ink work."
I turn... and you guessed it... there is this girl... standing there... the business suit is gone... her earrings were in, make up on... knock me down, step on my nuts and fuck me gently with a chain saw, hip high boots...
I had... been the biggest prick to her... when she was one of ours... and had not even noticed... and I find myself wondering... how many times have we done that... how many times have I done that...
I write this to urge us... to... look beyond... and give the "status quo" the benefit of the doubt... as we may be judging people before we see them... before we know who they are...
THe sad thing is... is... she just blew it off... she wants to be my friend...
I feel like such a jack ass.
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Average Rating : 5.0
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I feel... like one of them | Login/Create an account | 18 Comments |
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Re: I feel... like one of them
by Maranda (saboneta@aol.com)
on Aug 22, 2001 - 01:09 PM
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Well, you aren't really a jackass. A true jackass would never have apologized. That shows more class than most people have.
But you're right, many Goths look very "status quo". There's something kinda cool about walking through an office building and knowing that nobody you meet there has a clue about you, that they all think you're boring, prudish and uncreative.
Secret identities are Goth as Fuck.
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Re: I feel... like one of them
by bettie_x (strangersangel@hotmail.com)
on Aug 23, 2001 - 12:25 AM
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http://bettie_x.tripod.com/strangeasangels/
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well, if that ain't karma, I don't know what is.
I can understand feeling sort of snatchy at being stared at, but did you ever stop to analyze the type of stare? I can tell when people are "gawking", and are usually just either turned away or pleasantly suprised when I meet their eyes and smile back (unless they say something....then I go off da hook, yo), and there are the looks interested children have, and the looks of people that are just interested or intrigued.
I stare at people all the time. I like to watch people, look at people, its what I do, and I rarely get the third degree, so why would I assume that they deserve that from me?
Tattoos are for yourself, not others. When you have 7k worth of work done, you knew damned well that people would see them with a tanktop on or whatever. Who's going to not be able to look at that much ink either approvingly or disapprovingly? You can't miss it! If you didn't want people stareing, you should have stuck with things concealable with moderate clothing. Touching or glaring or rude comments are unacceptable, but jeez, being snotty with a complete stranger for looking? And you only felt bad when you saw she was "one of us"? What's that mean, "one of us"? She, with OUT the hipwaders, is human, just like you, just like me, just like "us".
It's this "us against them" pseudominority mentality that's more ridiculous than the scenario itself, and the superficialism you displayed even in your remorse for being a jerk is kind of sad. Would you have felt the same if you saw her the next day in "normal" clothes and she just said she like your work? Just a normal working stiff who's eye was caught by a ton of ink in some guys skin who snapped at her silent, innocent admiring?You're just lucky she is a forgiving soul....like they say, hell hath no fury.
Sorry to say, you deserved it, but at least you learned a lesson....be it the hard way, which is never fun, but most offen the more eye opening way that rarely requires a refresher course. Now if you could just drop the "one of us" and superficialism bit, you'd be on your way.
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Re: I feel... like one of them
by Rogue (judenouveau@yahoo.com)
on Aug 23, 2001 - 02:17 PM
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Sounds like she displayed the tolerance that you apologised for lacking, so it worked out. She probably recognised that she looked like a commoner and attributed your reaction to that. So is she like single, or what? :-)
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One of whom?
by Arthegarn on Aug 27, 2001 - 12:00 PM
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Well, Feralucce I agree with Maranda. You apologized, she accepted the apology, that ends it all. Well, it ends all but the scar on your ego, that is. Shove it off, there's no harm done but to you, and that harm has only contributed to make you a better, more open-minded person... so what?
Now, I really think the problem is with the title. One of whom? I thought we had all agreed here that what counts is the individual and no more. Why to put these barriers? "One of them" "One of us". There is no such thing as "them" or "us". Hell, we can't even agree to a definition of Gothism beyond that there is no definition. Why that attitude? And what annoys me the most is that it's so general among sinisters... Many of my friends base their relations on wether that guy/girl has ever heard Lacrimosa. Please!
During the day I am a lawyer and dress fucking conventional (guess that could happen to me, too). At night I dress as I see fit, but I have my head on. IT LOOKS WEIRD, so people look at me. So what? I don't care. I have spent most of my life without having even heard of Goth, and I guess I have looked at more that one's dress, or hair, or tatoos, or whatever. It's just curiosity or, for me, also a search for a different form of beauty. I did not try to patronize or sanction any one at that time, and I do not feel thus now.
I do not think there is a "us" and "them", unless "us" is the open minded and "them" is the close-minded fanatic. To that I agree, but I know more than one despicing Goth who hates "normal" people (Goth he calls himself. Hmph) just because they are different, and more than one priest who actually likes gothism (it's funny when he comes down to Madrid, to see him with the clergyman in 666).
No narrow minds nowhere
Arthegarn
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Re: I feel... like one of them
by Anonymous-Coward on Sep 05, 2001 - 06:33 AM
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Wow, feralucce .. you ARE such a jack ass! And not just with her but, with others as well *wink wink* *grins* .. do better by people in the future, dear 1!
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